paranoid like you

After the college entrance examination.

"One by one, tell me, am I really that fat? Why don't they like me?" Zhang Shuai held Feng Yi's neck tightly with his left hand, and held a half-drunk bottle of Erguotou with his right hand.

Feng Yi was so strangled that his face was flushed, and he had difficulty breathing. He was trying to push Zhang Shuai's arms away, and forced himself to say through his teeth: "Actually, I think it's pretty good. My grandma said ...Fat people look rich and blessed."

Zhang Shuai finally let go, hugged his shoulders and cried loudly, "They all like Brother Fu and Ye Muxiang like that. They think I'm fat and don't want to like me."

"Actually...you are pretty good, and not everyone dislikes you."

"Why did I live such a failure? Is it possible that I won't be able to marry a wife in this life?" Zhang Shuai was still nestling in Feng Yi's neck, "It's so popular to find a boyfriend now, and I even fucking find a girlfriend. No, it was a failure."

"You...you don't fail, you are much better than me." Feng Yihong, who was wearing big thick glasses, his ears were red, and his clenched fists did not dare to hit the opponent in the end.

"I...have never been in a relationship."

The more we talked about Zhang Shuai, the more unhappy he became, "You don't want to have a date, can we be the same?"

"No, it's not." Feng turned his head to one side, trying not to let Zhang Shuai's hair grind his neck, "It's the person I like... who doesn't like me."

"Fuck, are you so miserable?"

"Yeah." Feng Yi stuck his fingertips into his palms, "Tell me, how can I make him like me."

"Don't be discouraged buddy, let's grow like Brother Fu and Brother Ye. Appoint a girl who likes it." Zhang Shuai looked up at him, "You can play more basketball later, maybe you can grow taller, girls like it High."

"Then...do you like it?" Feng_ pouted his lips.

"I like it, I like it." Zhang Shuai was so dizzy from drinking that he couldn't hear what the other party said.He patted Deng Feng Yi on the shoulder again, and handed him the remaining half bottle of white wine, "We are both degenerates in the world, come on, do this, and we won't return tonight if we don't get drunk!"

Feng Yi looked at the bottle of white wine in Zhang Shuai's hand, frowned, and didn't answer it, "My grandpa said that if you drink too much, you will..."

"Will it affect IQ?" Zhang Shuai waved his hand in a nonchalant way, "I see, you've said it [-] times, and the college entrance examination is over, why do you still think about it, not to mention you only drink a few times in your life?"

"Take me as my buddy today, and we won't go home until we're drunk!" Zhang Shuai said, regardless of Feng Yi's opinion, pinched his chin and poured wine into his mouth.

Feng Yi, who drank baijiu for the first time, was choked with tears in his eyes, and the spirit of more than 50 degrees was enough to make him unconscious.

During the negotiation, Zhang Shuai pulled Feng Yi's thick glasses to the ground.Seeing this, Zhang Shuai picked up his glasses and was about to help him put them on.

Zhang Shuai drank more wine, his head was already foggy, and his vision was a little blurred.But he paused the moment he saw Feng Yi, he swallowed his dry throat, "Yi Yi, your eyes are so beautiful."

"The eyes are so big, why do you have to wear such thick glasses." Zhang Shuai's mouth was no longer under the control of his brain, but he couldn't bear to leave his eyes.

"I... I don't know what you're talking about." In a panic, Feng Yi avoided Zhang Shuai, picked up his glasses and was about to put them on, but Zhang Shuai casually threw them away.

"Don't wear it, let me see it again." Zhang Shuai squeezed his chin, and accidentally rubbed his thumb against his lower lip, "Your lips... are also very soft.

"Sure, it's a good kiss." Zhang Shuai took off his coat, covered Feng Yi's head, and leaned forward with his arms around his shoulders.

"Zhang Shuai, uh__?!"

Four years later, after graduating from university, he was in a bar.

"You ask a married man to come to the bar in the middle of the night." Fu Chaosi sat at the bar, twirling a glass of cocktail with his fingers, "Dude, your purpose is not pure!"

"Brother Fu, I really can't find anyone else but you." Zhang Shuai looked at the wine glass in his hand and sighed, "I asked Mu to estimate that you could kill me."

Fu Chaosi didn't know whether to laugh or cry, "What's the matter, you finally came back after graduating, look at you with bitterness and hatred."

"I have some emotional problems."

"Emotional problems?" Fu Chaosi turned his head and looked at Zhang Shuai from head to toe, "Although your appearance is not as good as mine, you should be attractive to girls, right? Are you afraid you won't find a girlfriend?"

After the college entrance examination that year, Zhang Shuai was admitted to a university in Shanghai, and he didn't have much contact with him.But in the past four years, Zhang Shuai's whole person has undergone earth-shaking changes. He has lost a lot of weight, and he looks reborn, and he is much handsomer.

"It's not a girlfriend, it's a boyfriend." Zhang Shuai sighed.

Fu Chaosi, who was drinking, was choked by the other party's words, "You...you bent too? When did it happen?"

Zhang Shuai had nothing to love in his face, "I don't know when it started, but all I know is that it took me four years to finally recognize the reality. I must be really bent."

Fu Chaosi patted him on the shoulder and comforted him, "Thank you for your hard work, buddy, it's not easy."

"Hey, don't mention it." Zhang Shuai waved his hand, "How are you and Mu Xiang?"

"It's great. We went to the United States to get married in our third year of junior high school, and now we are in a legal relationship." Fu Chaosi said complacently, "I have no choice but to take over my dad's company after graduation. "

"That's great." Zhang Shuai's eyes were full of envy, "Where's the big guy Zhang and Xiang Yang? How are they?"

"The two of them, it's a bit difficult..." Fu Chaosi took a sip of wine, "Both parents can't accept it, but they are determined to be together, and they don't plan to go back to Qianyang after graduation, waiting for their parents When you agree to go back."

"Hey, it's a friend in need, I admire them." Zhang Shuai was silent for a while, then shook the brown glass in his hand, "Then...Feng Yi, how is he...?"

Back then, Zhang Shuai yelled to himself that after graduating from high school, he would go to a university in Beijing together.But after the college entrance examination, in addition to Fu Chaosi and Ye Moxiang, Feng Yi was also admitted to Tsinghua University, Xiang Yang and Zhang Daer also chose Beijing, only Zhang Shuai did not tell anyone that he went to Shanghai alone.

"He can't be flirtatious now." Fu Chaosi said, "I don't know why he's going crazy. He changed to wearing contact lenses when he went to college."

"What?" Zhang Shuai was startled and almost knocked over the glass in his hand, "Wouldn't it be that many people chased him?"

"Damn, why are you excited." Fu Chaosi said disgustedly: "Yeah, he joined the basketball club during college, and now he is a bit taller than before. You know he used to be like a nerd, but now it's different .”

"Don't mention it, that kid's appearance has changed, but he's still the same as before, stiff and rigid." Fu Chaosi shook his head, "Many girls confessed to him, what he said to others, he is waiting for the person he likes to come back He. Later, the girl asked him, what if that person doesn't come back? He actually said that he would wait forever. "

Fu Chaosi took another sip of his wine and couldn't help laughing: "Do you think this kid is stupid? If you like it, go after it boldly. He even stands there waiting for that person to come back to find him. If that person has him in his heart, he won't be fooled." Waiting so long..."

"Hey, Zhang Shuai, where are you going?" While Fu Chaosi was speaking, Zhang Shuai took out his phone and left the bar.

The fingertips lingered on the name in the address book for a long time, but in the end, I didn't have the courage to make a call.

On that night four years ago, Zhang Shuai admitted that he drank too much and couldn't hold back the impulse in his heart. He didn't say anything about kissing him, and even relying on his strength, he dragged Feng Yi to a hotel to have a one-night stand.

He obviously didn't know how to do this kind of thing with girls, but he did what the two men did between them in a daze.

How enjoyable the process was that night, how panicked the next morning when I saw the person next to the pillow.

Before Feng Yi woke up, he ran away. In order not to see each other again, he chose a university in Shanghai. This run lasted four years.

Feng Yi never contacted him again, and it was absolutely impossible for him to take the initiative to contact the other party.

Zhang Shuai hid for four years in such a self-deceiving manner. Originally, he thought that time would make him forget everything that happened that night.But every night he misses, he can dream of Feng Yi panting under him.

Feng Yi looked at him with teary eyes, shouting for pain while saying more, that cute look was enough to make him suffer from insanity for four years.

What time can't forget, can only be unforgettable.

And he was able to become as thin as he is today, all because he always misses himself in his heart, far from having a good appetite in high school, and eating less, he gradually lost weight.

It's not that Zhang Shuai is afraid to face the fact that he likes Feng Yi, but he feels that it's too scumbag for him to come back to him after such a long time, and he even looks down on himself.

Zhang Shuai was lying on the bed, and his phone was stuck on the WeChat interface where he was chatting with Feng Yi.

The chat history is still on the night he asked Feng Yi out for a drink four years ago.

That night he tried to confess his love to a girl, but the girl rejected him because she disliked him for being fat. In the middle of the night, Zhang Shuai sent a group of friends on WeChat, but in the end only Feng Yi came.

At this time, Zhang Shuai wanted to chat with him, but felt that he was not qualified, let alone courageous.

Suddenly the phone vibrated, Zhang Shuai was frightened a little, and disconnected the phone.

The phone returned to the chat interface with Feng Yi, but after the chat record four years ago, a new green chat box was added, only one [,] was sent when he accidentally hung up the phone just now.

Zhang Shuai was about to withdraw the message, but found it was too late.

On the chat dialog box, [The other party is typing...]

Feng Yi still saw it.

About 5 minutes later, Zhang Shuai received a new message.

Feng Yi: Long time no see.

Zhang Shuai took a deep breath, what should come will come.

Zhang Shuai: Do you have time now?want to chat with you.

As soon as the news was sent, Zhang Shuai felt a little regretful and was about to withdraw it.

Feng Yi: Okay, I'll wait for you in the park where I drank four years ago.

Zhang Shuai: Well, after a while, Zhang Shuai put on his coat and went out to get into the car.

As soon as I walked to the gazebo four years ago, I saw a thin figure standing not far away.

Feng Yi was very thin four years ago, but as Fu Chaosi said, he is much taller now, before the opponent could only reach his chin, but now he can probably reach his forehead.

Feng Yi turned around following the sound of footsteps, and met Zhang Shuai's eyes.

If you want to ask how beautiful Feng Yi's eyes are, in Zhang Shuai's opinion, it's the charm that he is reluctant to share with anyone.

His eyes are full of stars, and with him, he no longer longs for a night without dark clouds.

"You've lost weight." Feng Yi spoke first.

"Well, you...you have also changed a lot, and you have grown up." Zhang Shuai shrugged, trying not to look so nervous, "and...why

Why take off your glasses. "

"Because the person I like said..." Feng Yi's voice trembled, "I look good without glasses."

"Oh." Zhang Shuai deliberately concealed his embarrassment, "That's very good, it's very beautiful."

"But what's the use of looking good." Zhang Shuai's eyes are big. Even in the dim night, as long as there is a ray of light, the tears in his eyes can be seen clearly. "No matter how beautiful he is, he doesn't like it."

Zhang Shuai panicked. Four years ago, Feng Yi looked at him with tears in his eyes like now, his heart melted from pain, and he couldn't stand it at all.

He hurriedly took off his coat to cover Feng Yi's tears, reluctant to be seen by the second person, "You...don't cry."

"I feel so stupid that I can't do anything well."

Zhang Shuai also got into the clothes covering Feng's head, "Why are you not well, you are so good."

"But he doesn't like me."

"I like it, he likes it very much."

"You lied." Feng Yi's sobs became more and more obvious, "If he liked me, he wouldn't have avoided me for so long."

"I didn't lie to you." Zhang Shuai pinched his chin lightly, his eyes filled with distress, "For the past four years, he has been thinking about you every day, thinking about you like crazy."

Feng Yi's tears still couldn't stop flowing, he raised his head, blinked, and looked at him pitifully, "He said the same thing in the hotel four years ago, but he ran away the next day."

"This time he won't." Zhang Shuai hugged him and helped him wipe away the tears from the corners of his eyes, "Why don't we try again tonight and see if he will run away tomorrow?"