Mu Hanzhong

Nan Xiaohuan never imagined that one day, he would stand in the deserted north where the sky was full of yellow sand, looking at the bloody sunset, and let the bitter evening wind blow his cloak.

It is slightly different from the childhood dream.In the fuzzy dream that has disappeared in the depths of memory, he is a general, commanding thousands of troops, charging and fighting.But when he actually entered the barracks, he was serving as a general's valet.

The valet... yes.valet.Just two words, it shows his identity and responsibility.

General Yunhui's personal soldiers are composed of the best young officers and soldiers selected from the Upper Fourth Army.With full reverence and admiration for that person, they accepted his personal teaching and training, and smiled for it, even when they were reprimanded or scolded, they felt it was a kind of honor.

Because of this, even he, who was accompanying the man behind him, also received the unusual respect and attention from the guards.

As for this, after seeing the unknown side of that person again and again, he suddenly understood where the envy and jealousy in Jin Wei's eyes came from...

——How lucky he is to be able to serve by this person's side!

Since he was rescued by that person 13 years ago, he has made up his mind to repay his kindness with his whole life.But for that person, it wasn't until half a year ago that he vaguely came up with an idea so similar to the one that popped up at that moment...

This kind of happiness and complacency that secretly breeds in the bottom of my heart will pop up from time to time during the subsequent march.

When the man entrusted him with the task of assassinating Xin Shijing in the tent of the Chinese army, he was very astonished.

If it succeeds, Xin Shijing will die, Beidi will lose the number one strategist in Yunzhou, and the morale of the Beidi border guards will be greatly reduced. This is an excellent opportunity to counterattack.

If he fails, he will die without saying anything, and there will be no second chance.It is not impossible that Beidi will make a big announcement and gather an army in one go.

Such a great responsibility, that person entrusted it to him just like that... with a chuckle.

He... couldn't help being moved.

He knew that the man trusted him, although he didn't know why.Since he gave it out, he will not let that person down!He would never let that person take back the hard-won trust from Nan Xiaohuan.

The process of getting into Beidi's fleeing army went very smoothly.Two days later, they finally entered Wuhe City.

However, the target person never showed up.

All he can do is wait patiently until the time comes.

Simply, after waiting for a short time, Feng Qi invited them to a dinner together.At that time, Xin Shijing will also be present.

He carefully arranged the manpower, bought some servants in Feng Qi's mansion, and made strict arrangements, and then waited quietly for the prey to be caught.

Before the banquet, Luo Qingling seemed to inadvertently mentioned the imperial tiger talisman in Xin Shijing's hand.

... If there is a tiger talisman that can mobilize the border guards, then the master's use of troops this time will be able to get twice the result with half the effort.

Thinking of the man's delighted and happy smile, he couldn't help secretly making a decision that seemed very reckless afterwards.Just because that possible result was too tempting for him.

However, limited by his thoughts, he did not see the strangeness that flashed in Luo Qingling's eyes.

Things went well.

But soon, Nan Xiaohuan knew that it was only on the surface.

It doesn't matter if you have peerless kung fu!He was not poisoned!Although Xin Shijing has great calculations, he absolutely does not have the ability to predict the future.

Then there is only one possibility...

Luo Qingling...

It was an uphill battle.A battle with extremely low odds but one that must be won.

He must win!He... must complete the task!He must be worthy of the trust that man gave!

Therefore, no matter what method he uses, he will not hesitate.

Numerous wounds, large and small, were split open all over his body in an instant, and blood rushed out.

The power of Burning Heart Palm is truly extraordinary.

And after killing Xin Shijing, with serious internal injuries, it seemed impossible for him to leave alive... let alone, surrounded by hundreds of people.

Looking at the countless torches lit in the dark night, he couldn't help being a little startled.If that person is here... there must be... there is a way.

He was not as smart as that man.

Only hold on, fight hard!No matter what method is used, he can't die!

He was going to live to meet that man!

At that moment, there was only one thought that filled my mind.

- can't die!

Then one day when he thought about it, he didn't know at all what was the reason behind the three words that supported him to stand...

Is it the loyalty generated by the grace of saving lives?Repentance or... Because there is concern in my heart, so I have the goal of living?

During those days when he was restrained by Si Huanghan, he was groggy for most of the time.Rarely sober, what he faced was either a polished and smooth large block of cold obsidian, or that delicate and beautiful face.

From the first time he met that young master, Nan Xiaohuan knew that Sihuang Hanlian was not as innocent and ignorant as he showed.Not to mention, he never wanted to get involved in the battle for royal power and throne.Even because of King Shunyu's relationship, the owner of the family tried his best to help behind the scenes.

However, things backfired.He didn't understand why Si Huang Hanlian spared his life when he knew about that.

But just understand one thing: he has no fear of his life for the time being.For the rest, he has no interest at all.

As for being forced to wear those logos that only sex slave male favorites have, he doesn't care at all.Anger, humiliation, and the powerless resentment of being trampled on, these are the reactions that normal men would have in such a situation, but he didn't.

He just glanced at it emotionlessly.It seems that the silver ring on the nipple is like countless sword wounds covering the body.

Actually... in his eyes.Those are no different.

It's all a sign that he's not strong enough.

The weak preyed on the strong, since he was defeated, and since he fell into Si Huanghanlian's hands, he was already prepared to endure all kinds of torture.

And cruel and ruthless enemies, when dealing with their prey, there is no need to worry about such things as respect, pride, and face.

However, his acknowledgment of his failure does not mean that he will always allow himself to be a fish on the anvil of others.

After being imprisoned for more than a month, he has been waiting for an opportunity to escape.

Internal injuries, external injuries, and lack of food, his physical strength has been greatly reduced, and he wants to leave the heavily guarded place. At this time, he needs patience and calmness.

The opportunity has finally arrived.

That day, the frenzied whipping of the young prince left him dripping with blood.But it also made Si Huanghanlian lose all his previous vigilance.He tore off his blood-stained robe and staggered away without even looking back at him.

Nan Xiaohuan was in that secret room, and no one came in for the whole night.

And the props placed in that small space are enough for him to save himself.

When he escaped from Si Huang Hanlian's mansion with his extremely weak body, there was a heavy snowfall outside.

It was still early, but there were already vendors setting up stalls, and women with baskets also appeared on the street in twos and threes.

Nan Xiaohuan supported the wall, taking every step with great difficulty.

After finally turning to the back street of an inn, he slipped and fell against the wall in the thick snow.

He was only wearing a layer of outerwear that was ripped off from the guard in a hurry, and he couldn't resist the winter chill at all. He walked fine, but once he sat down, the icy chill quickly made him lose consciousness all over his body.

Up the opposite wall is the guest room of the inn.Sparse lights were on, and from time to time a figure swayed on the window paper.

Behind him is the backyard of an ordinary residential house, and the sound of the middle-aged man washing up in the morning and talking to his wife can be heard.

Heavy snow fell one after another, Nan Xiaohuan raised his head, and let snowflakes slide down his neck one after another.

He knew that he should not sit here in front of Xuanjing's sub-building of Wuzhilou, but should rest for a while, and get up immediately after conserving his strength.

But, just for a while...for a while, let him rest for a while...

The face floating in front of his eyes smiled endlessly and gently at him, and nodded slightly when he heard his prayer.

The scenery in his field of vision was gradually eroded by the darkness creeping out from the corner... His body seemed to be as heavy as gold, and endless drowsiness surged in. He slowly closed his eyes and fell asleep.

The cold wind howled, and the heavy snow fluttered, covering the human body lying on the ground in a short while.

Nan Xiaohuan knew he was dreaming.

The courtyard in the dream was the appearance that was deep in the memory of his brain.

He saw a seven or eight-year-old boy, with a small bench under his feet, strenuously propped up on a tall table, holding a brush and strokes, practicing calligraphy on rice paper very seriously.The serving servant bowed his head respectfully and stood in the corner.

After the boy finished writing a sheet, he put down the pen and stared at it for a while, as if he was extremely satisfied, and there were a few traces of smiles on his little face.The servant moved the paper aside, and he continued to practice calligraphy.

One after another, the written papers were stacked into a thick pile, and the sweaty boy finally finished the text handed in by his master yesterday silently.

He jumped down from the small stool with a snap, and quickly took the fruits of his hard work from the hands of the servants. He carefully looked through them one by one, and carefully put them away after he thought they were perfect.

He walked out of the study door and walked forward along the winding path.Turning around several corridors, I finally saw another courtyard.

The originally hasty pace slowed down again for some reason. The boy stopped in front of the courtyard gate, adjusted his clothes carefully, and then walked towards the courtyard.

The layout of the courtyard is patchwork, with rockery, flowing water, exotic flowers and plants, and a scene at every step, which is extremely beautiful.The boy didn't even look at it, but just walked straight towards one place.

However, he went to several places, but he couldn't find the person he was looking for.He was a little at a loss, with his head down, and was about to return along the same road.But at this moment, a burst of cheerful laughter came from the back garden.Suddenly, his eyes lit up, he trotted around a corner, and searched for another place, but when he got closer to the sound, he suddenly realized something and gradually slowed down.

The warm sunshine poured down, in the sea of ​​colorful flowers, under the exquisite octagonal gazebo, the two sat around the stone table.A man and a woman, the man is handsome and straight, with a dignified appearance, with a gentle smile on his face, the woman has snow-like skin and exquisite facial features, sitting there silently, easily making the surrounding peony flowers lose their color.

An eleven or twelve-year-old boy is dancing a sword in the sea of ​​flowers. He is not tall and young, but he dances a sword well.

The boy secretly hid aside, looked at it for a while, the light in his eyes dimmed a little bit, but finally he bit his lip and wanted to walk towards the men and women in the gazebo.

Just when he took the first step, the sword-wielding boy stumbled to the ground for some reason.

When the man who was drinking tea saw it, he rushed out immediately and hugged the boy into his arms.The woman looked shocked and hurried to the boy.

A man and a woman surrounded the boy with nervous expressions.But the young man stuck out his tongue, with a playful face, he didn't know what to say, the man raised his eyebrows, shook his head helplessly, and flicked his fingers lightly on the young man's forehead as a warning.The woman turned her tears into a smile, her face full of pampering.

From the boy's fall to the man holding the boy back to the gazebo, the boy has been watching from a distance, his face expressionless, the initial joy is no longer there, his lips are tightly pressed, and the last light in his black eyes is finally extinguished.

He turned around and walked back to the room where he lived step by step, and the papers in his hand were scattered on the ground one by one.

Nan Xiaohuan watched the past scenes repeat themselves, with a bitter arc on the corner of his mouth.

I don't know who said that people will recall the past before they die... So, is it true...

He wanted to laugh, but couldn't.

I could only watch the boy who turned and left walking all the way back to the small courtyard where he lived, sitting in front of the window with a blank expression on his face...

Such a long memory, the past that he thought he had completely forgotten, in fact... has always been one of the few treasures that he has hidden deep in his heart?

Despite being neglected, even though everything that should belong to him is occupied by the person who was born two years earlier than him, compared to many other people in this world, he has no worries about food and clothing since he was a child, and his parents are still alive, he is still very lucky.He never complained, never held a grudge.

But there will be occasional loss and unexplainable feelings.

And a longing that prayed and lingered in the bottom of my heart countless times when I was young.

I long for someone in this world to love him without asking for anything in return, without purpose, just for him, for himself.

This kind of love should have been given by the family.But... his family... he didn't expect it for a long time.

Suddenly remembered those eyes.

The thick eyelashes are like feathered butterflies, and the bright black eyes seem to absorb all the starlight, and they stare at him quietly with endless tenderness.

Nan Xiaohuan wanted to smile and tell himself not to be delusional, but he still couldn't stop the sliver of anticipation that was secretly lurking in his heart.

Could it be because of a little tenderness from that person?

Maybe……

Just a little tenderness is enough for him to fall into it without hesitation.

When he saw that person again, he once thought it was the continuation of the dream.

Only dreams are so beautiful.It makes people... almost cry.

Whether it's the warm embrace, or the faint scent of the body, they are all things that he described in his mind many times during those days when the sun was out of sight.

——…My lord…

He opened his mouth and called, but there was no sound.The next moment, the man leaned down and kissed him tightly.

To be plundered, to be demanded...not as gentle as the familiar ones, but with an astonishing aggression that cannot be refused.

He couldn't resist at all.

When he was almost suffocated by the kiss, his mind was full of begging that this dream would not disappear so quickly.

——My lord, it's great to see you again...

He closed his eyes and muttered to himself.

He knelt on the ground, and the person standing in front of him, wrapped in cold air, was so furious that he seemed to have lost all reason.It was no longer the leisurely and indifferent he was used to every day.

The man roared and shouted, his handsome face was full of incomprehensible pain.

However, his heart was at a loss.

I don't understand why he is angry, I don't understand why he acts like this.

He didn't seem to understand until that hard punch hit the ground.

——Is he afraid that he will never see himself again?

His eyes, covered by black hair, widened subconsciously. For a long time, he couldn't believe what he heard.

The heart was beating violently, the sound was bulging in his eardrums, and the echo was ringing in the brain over and over again.

For a long time, he couldn't respond at all, he could only stiffen his body and think back over and over again to confirm what he just heard.

But he didn't have much time to think about it.

After a while of silence, the man smiled to himself for a while, then heaved a long sigh.

Following that breath, Nan Xiaohuan felt his whole body relax instantly.The tense nerves can finally relax.

The initial violent tumbling emotions have gradually calmed down.The blank brain also regained some sanity.He tried to think about it calmly.

The man's reaction was beyond his expectation.He didn't dare to explore why.

You can only guess in the other direction.

... That person already knows what he thinks about him?

This may just pass by in a flash, and the panic will occupy the body for a moment.He bit his lip, closed his eyes and forgot about it, and decided to be a coward for a while...

From the end of November to mid-December, about half a month, the number of times he saw that person was very few.

That kind of deliberate avoidance made him unable to calm himself down at all, those disturbing, complicated, and very strange emotions all surged in an instant, no matter whether he could distinguish it or not.He could only maintain a calm face, but he couldn't stop the negative feelings in his heart from engulfing him bit by bit.

During his recuperating days, he spared a lot of time.When Yilei Qingyan was not with him, he often leaned against the head of the bed alone, thinking quietly, savoring those sour and sad emotions little by little.

Sometimes, when he suddenly looks back and thinks of himself practicing sword in the pavilion every day a year ago, he himself will feel that since that night, he has become farther and farther away from the original cold-hearted Nan Xiaohuan.

After thinking about it for a few days, I finally sorted out my feelings for that person.The first movement after sorting it out was only a wry smile.

He has been with that person for nearly four years, and he knows everything that person has done for King Shunyu, and what that person has for King Shunyu.That person may have feelings for him, but it is definitely not the feeling he expected.Maybe it's better than the teenagers who came to play when they were in the mood and then forgot about it, but who knows how many there are?

However, he was helpless and powerless.

That person's tenderness was like a drop of water, unknowingly melting a small hole in the high wall he built so hard, and then dripping into his heart.

He was attracted irresistibly, like a moth to a flame, knowing his final ending, but still willing to give everything for that trace of warmth.

——Nan Xiaohuan, you...will you follow me?

The man whispered in his ear.

He listened to his own heartbeat and nodded slowly.

Knowing that there is no result, knowing that it is impossible, but still allowing myself to sink...

Just because of emotion, force majeure.