I don't know warm water

Zou looked at it for a long time, then turned around and stared at Lu Yueping who was leaning on his arm: "Mom."

He really wanted to ask, why.Why not go to therapy?Why hide it from yourself?Why did you say that you supported yourself and learned to live alone in a foreign country a few years ago?

But he couldn't ask.The answer was tacit.

Zou Yan has always been very obedient, not disturbing, but also competitive.After going to Italy for three years, he didn't ask Lu Yueping for a penny.

Lu Yueping just looked at him quietly, and smiled: "It's okay, don't look at Mom like this. At first, Mom was also afraid, but now that you can support yourself by yourself, Mom is not afraid anymore."

Zou Yan's mind was too chaotic, he suddenly remembered that Lu Yueping would be on her menstrual period at every turn—maybe not her menstrual period, her waist and abdomen were bloated and painful, and it was difficult to walk; she remembered that Lu Yueping suddenly got up early and late to earn money; Reluctant to go out to make money; thinking of his senior year in high school, when he was about to leave home for half a year, Lu Yueping was surprisingly "sticky".

But those fragments are in his mind like other people's stories, giving him an unreal sense of distance.

With red eyes, Zou Yan stretched out his arms to hug Lu Yueping.Lu Yueping has always been thin, but she was thin and strong in the past, not the weak bones she is now.

"Baby, mom is content. Don't mess around, mom is hopeless." Lu Yueping stroked Zou's arm.Zou Yan is still thin, still looks like a frail teenager.But she knew that her boy had grown up and was a big boy who would not be bullied by others and had to rely on others.

Zou Yan looked at her and asked word by word: "Doctor, what should I say?"

Lu Yueping lowered her head and said weakly, "There is not much time left."

Zou Yan really wanted to ask the doctor, but Lu Yueping held his hand firmly, not letting him out of her sight.It's purely because I haven't seen my precious son for too long.

Zou Yan carried Lu Yueping back to the bedroom: "Mom, you should go back to your room and sleep."

All the things in the room were familiar to Zou Yan, and Lu Yueping hadn't bought any new appliances in the past three years.

Lu Yueping fell asleep almost as soon as she touched the pillow.Zou Wei tucked the quilt up for her, retreated to the door, didn't close the door as usual, just half-closed it, and then turned off the light.

Although Lu Yueping said that the doctor said there was no time, he still found a half-new medical record in a familiar place at home, that is, the small box where Lu Yueping kept her regular medicines, and found her recent medical records.

When Lu Yueping woke up, Zou Wei was already waiting in the living room.On the table was a plate of steamed buns, some deep-fried dough sticks, and two cups of soy milk.

"Mom," Zou Yan looked up at her, "Come and have breakfast."

Lu Yueping twirled her hair, not shying away from exposing her gray hair, and sat beside Zou Yu.She took a sip of soy milk, no sugar and no hot water, it was the jujube flavor she had always liked.

"Let's... go to the hospital, okay?" Zou Yan looked at Lu Yueping, holding a soy milk cup in his hand.

Lu Yueping was not very surprised, she just swallowed a mouthful of soy milk, and replied calmly: "I don't want to go. Bao, I'm afraid."

The moment Zou Yan heard this, his nose became sore: "Aren't you afraid at the beginning?"

Lu Yueping put down the soy milk and tore off a fried dough stick: "At first I was afraid that you would be alone if I left. It's okay now, Mom thinks you can do it alone."

Zou Yan held the soy milk, and the soy milk shook slightly in his hand: "I'm afraid, Mom. Let's go and have a look."

Lu Yueping stopped chewing, lowered her eyelids, and didn't look at Zou Wei: "Let Mom go quietly. I don't want to make a fuss and waste it. Besides, you must have asked clearly what is going on with my illness. "

Zou Yan grabbed the paper cup and squeezed it slightly deformed, but he didn't dare to use force, as if he was holding Lu Yueping's hand.But Lu Yueping looked too thin and haggard now, Zou Yan really didn't dare to touch her.

"Mom...then what should I do..." Zou Yan's voice was already choking.

Lu Yueping smiled and asked: "What should I do? Although I miss you very much, I have always encouraged you to adapt to living alone in a place you like. You see, you haven't had your mother to take care of you for the past three years, and you haven't... Good."

Zou Yan endured and endured desperately, so as not to shed tears.No wonder he never felt like he was walking alone in all these years.What are his?Xu Jingqiang gave him opportunities to learn knowledge and understand the world; Lu Yueping gave him no worries about food and clothing, and he would not be homeless.

The one who was really lonely was Lu Yueping.She gave birth to Zou Yu, but she never wanted Zou to be under her control, and generously encouraged Zou to fly by herself; she spent her youth raising the only son left by her deceased husband, but in the end she was reluctant to spend money to treat her body.It's not that Zou Zhe didn't know that someone once wanted to marry the young and gentle and capable Lu Yueping into their family. The condition was very simple, but it was impossible for Lu Yueping to agree - throw Zou Zou away.

Zou Yan has been growing up in this kind of selfless love, but he never realized it before.As a sensitive artist, how could his emotional perception be so weak?

Zou Zhe submitted an electronic application to the school.Lv Yueping has no energy and is unwilling to go to Italy with Zou Zou, who just needs to find the "sunset feeling" in his hometown where he grew up.He decided to temporarily stay in the country for a year.

Lu Yueping didn't know that he applied for a temporary suspension from school, and she was still thinking about telling him not to delay the school's business during the summer vacation.Zou Yan smiled and said no, and asked her where she wanted to travel. He was paid and took her to play.

Lu Yueping smiled and said that first she would go back to the city where they had lived for 14 years to see his father.

Zou's father was buried there.Every year, Lu Yueping would visit her husband on his birthday and death day, exactly half a year in between.Zou Wei felt that he had no impression of worshiping his father, presumably Lu Yueping felt it was unnecessary.

After burning the paper, Lu Yueping touched the green pine carving on the tombstone, under which there was a photo of Zou Yan's father.Zou Yan is still offering incense to his father.After bowing for the third time, Zou Zhu suddenly remembered that the so-called "burning incense" was really cut off at his place.

He didn't straighten up for a long time.

Lu Yueping watched, saw the three sticks of incense in his hand, and understood.She called softly: "Get up. I told your dad."

Zou Wei shook his fingertips, but he didn't dare to look up at them.

"Brother Xun, it's enough for my son to be happy, right? You heard me, bless our son with no serious illness in the past ten years." Lu Yueping reached out to support Zou Yan, who put the incense in his hand into the incense burner and stood up , The eyes are red again.

He hasn't heard his mother call his father "Brother Xun" or "Old Zou" for a long time.Ten years, my father has been gone for ten years.In the past ten years, Zou Yan has visited the grave no more than five times. He can't even remember exactly what he has done in the past ten years. It seems that he can only keep running forward and learn a lot of things.He was indeed a fast runner, and when he turned around, he realized that his mother had already turned her head white just to be with him.

"Baby, tell your dad now, do you have a date?" Lu Yueping patted Zou Yan's head and smiled lovingly.

Zou Yan pursed his lips as if smiling, with tears in his eyes, and shook his head lightly.

"Aren't there any handsome Italians?" Lu Yueping raised her eyebrows, "What about your Chinese classmates?"

Zou Yan laughed out loud: "Where is the object so easy to find?"

Lu Yueping also laughed and teased him: "Is there anyone you like? A young man, or a little girl?"

Zou Zhe thought of Alfredo for some reason, but it was only because he and Alfredo almost went to parties, played guitar, went to the beach, and visited museum exhibitions together in Italy, except for painting classes.Although Alfredo always came to find Zou Zou, but Zou Zou didn't have any thoughts on him, he just regarded him as a friend.He believes that Alfredo is just the one he gets along with the most among those Italian students who are interested in Chinese.

He knew that Han Yike was in France, and that Yang Yi was also in France.Occasionally, he and Han Yike can also go to Sicily to take pictures and sketch sketches, but after all, they are cross-border, and the contacts are not deep.

Thinking of Yang Yi, he remembered that they met once.When he went to France, Han Yike said that he could live at her house and pick him up at Charles de Gaulle airport.This time she came with Yang Yi.

Yang Yi is taller than before, but not as gentle and approachable as in high school - he looks more like a sculpture, cold and cold.

Lu Yueping saw Zou Yan wandering in the sky, and stretched out her hand in front of him: "What are you thinking, tell your parents too?"

Zou Yan came back to his senses all of a sudden, smiled and shook his head: "It's nothing."

Lu Yueping took his hand and continued to smile at Zou Xun's tombstone: "Dad, I hope our treasure will become more and more brave. This road is too hard, and our treasure has been bullied severely. But don't fall down just because of one fall." , I don’t dare to like people anymore.”

Of course the words were for Zou Yan.Zou Yan was so shocked that he couldn't speak, he was dumbfounded when he saw Lu Yueping's smiling face.Unavoidably guilty, he thought of Li Zhefei who took the initiative to join him a few days ago.

Li Zhefei was very strange.Because Zou Yan didn't know what else he could say to him, and he didn't move after asking who it was.Li Zhefei also didn't say anything, only answered Zou Yan's question, why he was added suddenly and why he didn't say a word, Zou Yan didn't know.He even found that he didn't seem to remember what Li Zhefei looked like.He wasn't interested in anything else about him.

In Lu Yueping's heart, is Li Zhefei the one who bullied her "treasure"?Or Hu Jiajing?None of it matters.The important thing is that Lu Yueping hopes that Zou Yan will still love and be loved bravely.

Zou Yan didn't know if he was afraid to like and love.Between people, there is no response, but the pain will only stalk the serious one.

He didn't know whether the person he had never "liked" was affected by the incident in junior high school.But he really never fell in love with anyone again.The feeling of always looking for him in the crowd unconsciously, not daring to breathe if you accidentally look at him, the days of quietly going to the canteen to buy the same type of Coke in order to sneak a few more glances at him, Zou Yan has not experienced it for a long time pass.

Time and distance have always been good medicine to dilute the pain.Who can forget the things that really hurt and shed tears unless they lose their memory?It's just that people gradually don't care because they are becoming less and less important.

They lived back in the small dilapidated building before.It hadn't been demolished yet, and the fish seller upstairs had left early, and a flower seller came in. Even the part-time worker Zou Yan hired on the first day to clean it couldn't help but say "there are a lot of mosquitoes".

It was cleaned well, and the quilts and sheets were all bought new temporarily. They were sent to the dry cleaners for a quick wash, and they were remade when they came back.Lu Yueping said to take Zou Yan to buy vegetables and cook at home.Walking in the crowded old vegetable market, Lu Yueping told him that apples should be bought with deep "nests" to be sweet, lettuce should be pinched and not hollow, and tomatoes should be soft and hard...

After buying vegetables and returning home, Zou Wei stood beside Lu Yueping again and asked Lu Yueping to teach him how to cook.He has always liked the stir-fried vegetables made by Lu Yueping, any kind of vegetables are fine.Lu Yueping will put a lot of minced garlic and dried sea peppers, and fry them in oil until fragrant.It's simple but easy to eat.

Zou Yan also often took Lu Yueping to various nearby places.Supermarkets, parks, and even his primary and junior high schools when he was a child.But Zou Yan did not go to his first junior high school.

He took a newly bought mirrorless camera and took many photos of the sunset.From different places, from different angles, every picture is accompanied by Lu Yueping.

He has almost never been with Lu Yueping for such a long time.More than three months, from summer to autumn.

Lu Yueping's old friends were also very happy to see them come back, and asked Lu Yueping to travel to city B together.Lu Yueping agreed, and asked Zou to go out to have fun by herself, so don't stay by her side all the time.

Zou Yan didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but he remembered the text message from "Huang Zhiyuan" that he had just received.This was the reply he got when he asked his little cousin to check Huang Zhiyuan's phone to see if there was Huang Wen's new phone number a few days ago.

The little cousin is young but eccentric. She uses voice recognition to find the phone number of "Huang Wen" and sells her brother to her cousin.

In this case, he can look for his old friend Huang Wen.