Age Soft GL

Xu Tinglan underestimated her feelings for Li Siying.

Since Li Siying left that summer, she seemed to have been pulled out of her spirit.

Everything is still going on in an orderly manner, work continues as usual, and life continues, but when the night is quiet, a restless heart just can't calm down, and can't read books anymore.

The weight of a person is light or light, but in the end it can't match the momentum of the mountains and rivers, and it is heavy and heavy, which can make people breathless.Xu Tinglan spent every day in this kind of overwhelming yearning.

That winter, Xu Tinglan accidentally found Li Siying standing at the corridor entrance of her dormitory, which was the only time Xu Tinglan couldn't help herself.She would think countless times, what would happen if she ran down that day?

Perhaps her heart has been lonely for too long, longing to be embraced by that young soul in the middle of the night.

But other than that, during the high school years with Li Siying, she never sorted out their relationship properly.She didn't dare to think about how much Li Siying liked her, and she didn't dare to think about how much she liked Li Siying.

She was afraid there would be more involuntary feelings.

But at the end of the college entrance examination, when she thought about it, she found that there was more than a distance between the two people, it was simply a gap.

So she backed off, rejecting the child's sincere and ardent love.

Xu Tinglan registered a matchmaker website.

She wants to give it a try, she doesn't expect to fall in love with others immediately, but she wants to use this to dilute her feelings for Li Siying.While blaming himself for being shameful, while having no other choice, he did this with a furtive and entangled mood.

But when entering the conditions for choosing a mate, Li Siying was completely in his mind.Xu Tinglan felt that Li Siying was like water, soft and tough, flowing through small rivers and large lakes, polishing her heart, and finally flowing into Chuanze.

Xu Tinglan closed the notebook in despair, unable to read other people's information at all, the more she looked at it, the worse she felt.

But because she registered the information, after a few days, the customer service staff of Matchmaker.com took the initiative to call and recommended a few men who seemed to meet the requirements of mate selection for Xu Tinglan.

Xu Tinglan convinced herself to meet one of them.

That man is just like the photo, gentle and elegant, he is a middle manager of a listed company, 3 years older than Xu Tinglan.

During the period, the two introduced themselves to each other, and the man chatted unhurriedly, elegantly and naturally easy-going.Xu Tinglan thought, if it was in the past, she would give this blind date 80 points, after all, there was no dissatisfaction at first glance.

But now, while she is not dissatisfied, she also has no feelings.

When the man proposed to go to the movies after dinner, Xu Tinglan politely refused.The man was taken aback for a moment, but he was sensible and sensible. He sent Xu Tinglan to the station in a gentlemanly manner, and then waved goodbye politely.

That night, Xu Tinglan suffered from insomnia.

The next day, she got off work very late.After all the teachers left, she opened the cabinet under her own desk.It was the summer homework of Li Siying's freshman year of high school.Because Li Xia took over the third year of high school, Xu Tinglan only accepted their winter and summer homework for the first year of high school and winter homework for the second year of high school.

Teachers don’t have time to approve homework during the winter and summer vacations, and basically they will be quietly sold as waste paper after a period of time.Xu Tinglan didn't know the reason at the time, but this stack was piled up in the cabinet under her desk and was not disposed of.

She took out the stack of homework books, and the top one was covered with dust.She searched the past one by one, and finally found Li Siying's.Put her homework in the bag and take it back to the dormitory.

After taking a shower, Xu Tinglan sat at the table and opened Li Siying's homework.She was surprised to find that Li Siying had done her Chinese homework seriously, with a good-looking script and meticulous attention to detail.Xu Tinglan felt that she really had feelings for that child.She took out the red pen, one by one, carefully read and approved the questions...

It's like a belated response to the feelings between them.It wasn't until the morning star outside slowly rose that she dragged her exhausted body to sleep.

Since then, Xu Tinglan has canceled her account.Declined all blind dates, including those from relatives.

She knew that she couldn't control her heart anymore.

It has been half a year since Li Siying went to university, she has new classmates and roommates, Xu Tinglan thought, she must have new friends too.

Xu Tinglan herself also went to college, and her first relationship began when she was a freshman.

She really didn't have the confidence that Li Siying would continue to like her after being rejected by her.That child hasn't sent a message to himself for half a year.Although the instigator is himself.

During the Spring Festival, Xu Tinglan thought that Li Siying would send her a New Year's greeting text message, but she didn't.At around 11 o'clock in the evening, she hand-typed a text message that seemed to be sent in groups.Xu Tinglan was laughing at herself at the time for wanting to save face and suffer.

There was no reply from Li Siying, not a single word.

That night, she went to Li Siying's space. Since the college entrance examination, the child hadn't updated the diary.Xu Tinglan used to like to read her space very much. The child likes to read books, and has the habit of taking excerpts and writing after reading books. In just three years of high school, there are more than eight pages of diaries.

Xu Tinglan just revisited Li Siying's previous diary over and over again, and sometimes it was past 12 o'clock at night just looking at it.These words can temporarily soothe Xu Tinglan's helpless heart.She knew her browsing would leave traces, but it didn't matter.Xu Tinglan even wanted Li Siying to know.She knew that she had been poisoned quite a bit, but she was happy with it.

Until one day, when she went in, she found that Li Siying had updated the space. It was a very short diary with no beginning and end, just like a person raving alone.

[I don’t know who said that it is human nature to not admire people and things.Feelings that are too paranoid and emotions that are too sad and happy are stubborn, because they can't let go, so there is pain.

To put it bluntly, deep down in my heart I also have a little bit of nobility, waiting for someone who can understand the evening photos and listen to the quietness of the flute, but the world is helpless, the reality is cruel, and there are too many restrictions.Even if I take 99 steps, I still need that person to take one step.

Reluctant to let it go, can't let it go, it's all self-inflicted, so let's suffer.

No matter how many lives you have seen and how many principles you understand, you may not be able to live a good life.Because the ending of others may not be what you want.Everyone has a steelyard in their hearts, and there is no uniform standard for choosing, gaining or losing, it all depends on your heart.

Walk alone and sing alone, where can I find the clouds in my dreams. 】

Xu Tinglan read it word by word, put her fingers on the computer screen, and deluded herself into thinking that she could be closer to her, as if she could feel her loneliness and loneliness when writing this text.Xu Tinglan couldn't help asking herself: Is the clear and clear sentiment in this text for me?

Afterwards, Xu Tinglan discovered that the frequency of Li Siying's update space had increased, and she would talk about her recent situation every few days. Sometimes it was not necessarily a diary, but it might be a very frequent, almost harsh record of her life.At the bottom of the diary, there will be some comments. Huang Qingqing's words are very appropriate, and Li Siying is indeed like a thought report, recording everything in detail.

Then, Xu Tinglan noticed a strange phenomenon. No one replied to Li Siying's log.

Xu Tinglan thought about contacting Li Siying several times, but she didn't know what to say, and the more she went on, the less she dared.My heart was tortured by this kind of thinking and not daring to the point of collapse.

She finally understood that all her reasons for rejecting Li Siying were excuses, or in other words, they were all secondary, and the main reason was that she had no confidence.

She doesn't believe that Li Siying, who is eight years younger than her, will stick to her until the end, and she doesn't believe that Li Siying can always keep her original intention in the face of external pressure and various temptations in the long years.