Stockholm syndrome

The fact that Li Weiran came to Yushu to look for me made his family no longer ignore our relationship, but it also made me even more unable to let go of my love for him.After returning from his home, neither of us mentioned it again.Probably he, like me, is waiting for the other party to say goodbye.Just procrastinating like this, sometimes I really feel that God is very unfair, why is it like this, I am not a good person, but I have never done anything ignorant of my conscience, but I have everything in the world, I can’t ask for it, I can’t let it go .I can cook, I can do housework, I need a diploma, I need a job, I need a job, and I need a good appearance.Except that I can't give birth to a child for Li Weiran, what shortcomings do I have.By the way, I almost forgot, I have another biggest shortcoming, no money and no power.

If I had the same background as Li Weiran, would the result be different?Unfortunately, there has never been an if in this world.

Li Weiran goes home very early these days.Maybe he also acquiesced to this ending in his heart, but he couldn't speak, just like me.Obviously there is no hope, but still thinking about walking every day.We are tired of being together and have no other communication except sex.Compared with pale language, the flesh is the most direct expression.

After a week of such time, Li Suran found me again. During working hours, I asked for leave with the director.Unexpectedly, the place she brought me here turned out to be KFC.This restaurant is very large, with two floors, and there is a large children's playground on the first floor.I saw Li Weiran's mother, she was not wearing a professional suit.It was ordinary casual clothes, which looked like ordinary middle-aged women, with a slightly fatter figure and a bit bulky.She squatted in front of a slide, propped her hands on the wall of the slide, and watched a two or three-year-old boy slide down slowly.

Li Suran called mom, she raised her head and smiled at us, then bent down to pick up the child and walked out.We came to a round table with ottomans next to it.I said hello to Li Weiran's mother, she nodded and motioned me to sit down.There was also a half-eaten egg tart and mashed potatoes on the table, as well as a few glasses of fruit juice.Li Suran turned the little boy to me, "This is my son, Li Ziqiao." Then he lowered his head and gently coaxed the child, "Ziqiao, call him uncle."

"Uncle." The child called obediently, and the soft voice seemed to have a milky fragrance.His eyebrows and eyes are very similar to Li Suran, and also very similar to Li Weiran.Seeing his appearance, my heart suddenly softened.The child is not shy of life, and found me looking at him, and stretched out his hands to me.I have never hugged a child, so small, so weak that I dare not touch it.

"Can I hug him?" I stretched out my hand anxiously, afraid that an accident would hurt him.

"It's okay. Just drag your butt." Li Suran sent the child forward, and I stood up, carefully holding him in my arms.The child's body is so soft that it will break if touched. The 2 or 3-year-old child is still very weak in speaking and obedience. He turned his head to look at me, tried to open his thin eyes, and stretched out his hand to touch me. When I saw the tear mole on my face, I reached out to reach it. I lowered my head so that he could touch it easily.The child laughed and gasped.Then he called again, Uncle.He probably couldn't tell the difference between an uncle and an uncle.He turned around in my arms, and went to get the drink on the table, a large glass of Jiuzhen juice, Li Suran delivered the juice here, and I tested the temperature with the back of my hand.

"It's too cold, he's still young, it's best to drink water that's about the same temperature as him."

"Unexpectedly, a man like you knows so much." Li Suran joked, "I'm a doctor. Although I'm not a pediatrician, I know everything."

"By the way, he just got the DTP vaccine a few days ago, and he has been running a low-grade fever. I dare not let him take the medicine, so I kept him at home for two days, and then the fever subsided. Is there anything wrong?"

"It's okay. Children often have such a situation when they are vaccinated against DPT. Just keep warm."

Li Suran told me about Li Ziqiao again, and I explained it to her seriously.The originally tense mood gradually eased down.The child in my arms didn't move, and I lowered my head to find that he had fallen asleep.The speaking voice immediately became much lower.

"You don't have to keep your voice so low. This child will be with me, and he will die when he sleeps. It doesn't matter." Li Suran said.

"How can I do that? Children are sensitive, so they need to be taken care of." I still didn't dare to neglect.

"Ye Chen, you will definitely be a good father when you have a child." It was Li Weiran's mother who said this, which made my originally relaxed nerves tense up again. "Li Weiran, how are you doing now?"

"He's fine." I lowered my head, not daring to meet her eyes.

"Li Weiran has been a sensible child since he was a child. Although he can mess around, he never made me worry about it." Her voice paused, and the narration continued. "Speaking of which, I'm sorry for him. When he was young, the company was developing overseas projects, and I couldn't get away from him. His father was in the army and was always busy. I didn't even take him with him. I have been to such a place once. As a mother, I have always felt ashamed of him. Su Ran told me about your affairs, and you have done many things for Li Weiran that I have not done. I am very grateful that you can stay He is good."

"Auntie, actually Li Weiran didn't think about it that way, and he is very grateful to you." I know that Li Weiran always thinks about his family, his relatives, and his responsibilities.Otherwise, we wouldn't have the worries we have now.

"Really." She smiled, her eyes softened, no matter how powerful she was in the mall, she was still a mother after all, and she would become gentle when referring to her children. "Probably because I owed him a childhood, I hope he can live a good life and have a normal family. Look at Ziqiao, is he cute? He is very similar to Li Weiran. When I look at him, I think of Li Weiran when he was a child." I also wonder if Li Weiran would be so cute if he had a child. That child Li Weiran liked to play since he was a child, but once he got serious, he would never turn back anyway. I don’t want to think about your juniors I don't care, but he is serious." He is serious, and I don't know whether to be happy or sad when I hear these four words, but if he is serious, we will lose.If he's not serious, we can continue to mess around like this. "I only know a few words about you, but I can still feel that you are stronger and more rational than him. Li Weiran will not leave you voluntarily. I have given you a long time. This stalemate Everyone will be tired. Child, let go. Don't you hope that Li Weiran can be a father one day, with a cute child like Zi Qiao."

"I'm sorry." I love Li Weiran and want him to be better, but I never thought that one day I would become a stumbling block to his happiness.Li Weiran's mother is a very smart woman, if she uses a strong method to make us submit, it may be counterproductive.But family affection, only family affection is my Achilles heel.I know how important home is, and it feels like a nail is stuck in my heart, being hammered into it one by one. "I'm sorry. I...I want him to be well, I really want him to be well." I hugged Ziqiao, tears streaming down my face. The bond between parents and children is something that can never be broken by time. Li Weiran and I are nothing, why am I so unwilling.Li Weiran will marry a wife and have children, have his own children, and his own home, and I am just a passer-by in his life after all. These things were already clear 9 years ago, why I have always shackled myself in it.

I handed Li Ziqiao to Li Suran and went back to the apartment.Li Weiran hadn't come back yet, so I made a big plate of stir-fried kidney beans and cooked rice for him to come back.This is probably the last time we will eat together.I am not reconciled, really not reconciled, but there is nothing I can do.There are many people who can give him happiness and give him a family.But never me.

Li Weiran came back a little late, and looked a little tired. He was under no less pressure than me. I always said how much I love him, but I couldn't do anything for the real thing.Many times, I really feel that I am a fucking piece of trash.

It's been a long time since I made stir-fried kidney beans, and Li Weiran ate very happily.His heart has been heavy these past few days, and he hasn't been so relaxed for a long time.There is a ball game tonight.Li Weiran finished his meal as quickly as possible, took a shower, took out a drink from the refrigerator and sat on the sofa to watch the game.I don't like wine, I don't have this kind of thing at home, so between us, he always accommodates me more.I hugged the ice-cold Mountain Dew and leaned against him. That game was between Manchester City and Manchester United. The game was always very anxious. The team Li Weiran supported was Manchester United. Every time it was dangerous, he would unconsciously squeeze my arm. .

At the end of the game, Manchester United won. Li Weiran was very happy. He hugged me and kissed me. His mouth was full of the taste of lemonade, and his tongue became cold from drinking too many iced drinks.The kiss became more and more intense as I wrapped my arms around his neck and slid my hands down his waist, tearing at his clothes.Li Weiran has been holding me on my back, is it my illusion, I always feel that he is a bit too honest today.I pulled Li Weiran to stand up, turned off the TV, and walked to the bedroom hugging each other.I put him on the bed and started to undress myself.Li Weiran didn't say anything, just looked at me so quietly, I couldn't guess what the emotion in his eyes was.I rummaged in the bedside drawer and pulled out a three-pack of TT and lube.I have been waiting for this day for a long time, but Li Weiran is always unwilling to obediently be crushed by me. Every time I try to counterattack, he always says to wait for the next time, wait for the next time, just perfunctory me like this.But this time he quietly waited for my action, probably in his heart he also understood what I was thinking, we are really going to separate.He can always guess my mind, it was 9 years ago, it is now, and it has never changed.

I cling to Li Weiran tightly, walking on his body with both hands, the light in the bedroom is very dim, but I can still clearly see the slight uneasiness and tension in his eyes.After being top for a long time, it suddenly became bottom. No one would be used to it. Li Weiran's face turned red, he was shy.I was always so fascinated by his look, body temperature, breath.I held him, twitched lightly, then slid my hand down again, rubbing it slowly.I felt that Li Weiran was not as nervous as before. I hugged Li Weiran's shoulders and slowly went in. It was so tight. When it was time, I scratched it hard.It really hurts, I didn't expect that a pure man like him would scratch people, and Li Weiran would have a cute side, thinking that I would never see him again.His badness and his goodness don't belong to me anymore.I felt very uncomfortable in my heart, but the movements of my body didn't stop.When I was studying pharmacology, I once said that the pleasure produced by hallucinogens can paralyze people's nerves just like making love.Li Weiran's groans stimulated every cell in me, I hugged him and rubbed hard, the pleasure came in waves, and the sadness of parting really disappeared.

"Li Weiran, I love you, I love you to death." I hugged him faster and faster, and soon reached the peak.I pinched his waist and rubbed hard a few times, then slowly withdrew.I lay on top of him, panting heavily, I was so fucking tired up there.Sticky sweat all over my body, I hugged him like an octopus, unwilling to leave.Lying on his chest with his face sideways, there was a strong heartbeat.

"Let's use up this bag." After a moment of silence, Li Weiran suddenly reached out, picked up the packing box I put on the bedside, and took out the remaining two.The next moment I was already under Li Weiran's pressure, his fiery kiss made my lust that had calmed down burn again.