Stockholm syndrome

"Xiao Zhe, if you have something to say, just say it." After a long silence, I finally couldn't help but speak.I lit another cigarette, which was already the third one.

"Brother Chen, Wu Qingfeng has already told me everything. I know you blamed him. He did something wrong, and I didn't mean to excuse him. I came here mainly for two reasons. One is I apologize to you for him, he has no face to see you now. Secondly, I want to say, you should break up with that man. "

"What did you say?!" I was spitting out the smoke, and I couldn't help coughing when I heard Jiang Zhe's words.

"Brother, it stands to reason that this is your private matter, and I have no right to take care of it. I was ignorant when I was young, got into a lot of trouble, and had a bad relationship with my family. You were by my side. I didn't dare to inform you when I got into trouble at school. Parents, you are also here to pick me up. You are good to me, whether it is for Wu Qingfeng’s sake or because you really value me, you are really good to me. I have never had a suitable elder around me to tell me what to do. What to do, how to choose between right and wrong, until you appear. Like Wu Qingfeng, I respect you from the bottom of my heart and regard you as my own brother. That's why I want to say. You are a man, you can't be with him, You have no results."

"What if I say no." I cut off the cigarette and watched the sparks go out little by little. "You probably knew that Wu Qingfeng liked me for many years. For as many years as he liked me, I have liked Li Weiran for as many years as the man you mentioned. No, I have liked him for even more years. I am like this I'm old, and I don't want to leave any regrets for myself. And I don't have any feelings for women at all. Isn't it harmful to marry someone like this. I won't do such immoral things. "

"Wu Qingfeng told me that his family is not ordinary."

"Well, I know." I put my hands in my pockets and leaned against the pillar to listen to Jiang Zhe's slow statement.

"Brother, I sincerely hope that you can find a good girl to marry and live a good life. As you said, you are not young anymore, it's time to think about your life's major events. If you really have no way to turn back. Just It's not suitable for you to change to someone else."

"Xiao Zhe, thank you." I turned around and patted Jiang Zhe on the shoulder lightly. "I understand all of these. I have tried, but I can't let go. Now that I am like this, sooner or later, I will fall into it and cannot extricate myself. But I have made up my mind early in the morning. I know very well that there is no result. Then Just let me enjoy the happy life now, okay?"

"Brother..." Jiang Zhe's voice faltered, his eyes turned red, and he took a big breath to calm himself down. "Brother, you will treat me as your own younger brother in the future. If he treats you badly, you still have us. When you are old, I will let my son serve you."

"Brother remembers your words." I grabbed Jiang Zhe's shoulder and gave him a light hug.I never think that I am a good person, greedy for money and afraid of death, but there are people like me who are willing to treat me as a brother, willing to treat me sincerely, such as Jiang Zhe, such as Hu Yidao.I can't thank you enough.

"Brother, Wu Qingfeng." Jiang Zhe spoke again after being silent for a while.I also mentioned the most difficult thing for me. "Can you stop blaming him. I promise, he won't do such a bastard thing again. Let's be the same as before, okay, the three of us, you take the two of us to play. "

"Xiao Zhe, you know that your brother is narrow-minded." I reached out to touch the cigarette case in my pocket, but it was empty. "I don't want to lie to you. Knowing what he thinks about me, it's really hard for me to simply treat him as the child I used to be."

"Brother, don't do this, I beg you." Jiang Zhe took my arm and shook it gently.

"Xiao Zhe. You are a good boy. Among you children, you are the most sensible. If there is anything wrong with Wu Qingfeng in the future, you have to take care of it. He usually...he will definitely be the closest to you in the future. Your words He can listen."

"elder brother…"

"Stop talking. Let it be." I waved my hand, signaling Jiang Zhe not to say any more.

"Okay. I will supervise Wu Qingfeng, just like you looked at us when we were young. I will pull him back from that crooked road. Let him marry a wife and have children, and let his son call me godfather. I swear, I must let him live a good life. If I can't do it, I will stay with him as a bachelor for the rest of my life."

"What nonsense, your father only has one son, and he wants your old Jiang family to have no descendants." I pushed Jiang Zhe on the head.This child is usually dull, but he is actually as reliable as Hu Yidao.

Jiang Zhe told me some things about the school again. He and Wu Qingfeng's school is in the same university town. Although it is not in the urban area, it is a bit far away, but it is not far from home, and he can come back on weekends.Like every child who has just finished the college entrance examination, he is full of longing and hope for the university.When talking about the future, his eyes are bright. I seem to see myself 7 years ago, and I am also full of beautiful expectations and fantasies about the future.But not now, I'm old and tired.Since Li Weiran left alone at the train station 6 years ago, I have understood what kind of life belongs to me. Even if I can change the process, I cannot change the result.In the past, I always laughed at those petty bourgeois sentiments that said that forever is not as good as what I once had.Now I also understand that this is just a kind of self-paralysis that I can't ask for. People are always greedy, and who doesn't want to be able to stay together forever.

"We are going to report to school next week. I will be on the 4th next week, and Wu Qingfeng and the others will be on the 5th next week." Finally, Jiang Zhe talked about the registration.When we had dinner together last time, we also said that we would ask for leave to send them to school, but now we are not in the same mood anymore. "Brother, do you have time on Friday?"

"There's a very troublesome operation." It's good to have an operation, but it's nothing to do with me. Basically, I just stand by and watch the operation now, or clean up after the key parts are completed, which is optional.

"Then you don't have to send us off." Jiang Zhe sensed my embarrassment early in the morning. "You're busy now, so work hard. Don't worry about our affairs. When have I ever let you worry about it?"

"Okay, don't pretend to be a good child for me." I reached out and rubbed Jiang Zhe's hair, "When I was in middle school, I also cleaned up the mess for you, so I took the notice and haven't entered yet. The university gates have been transformed."

"Trust me." Jiang Zhe held my hand and stared seriously into my eyes.The thin calluses on my hands rubbed gently against my palm.As soon as he closed his eyes, he was still that stubborn child with a big schoolbag on his back, a small body and palms. I led one in each hand, and my palms would sweat with excitement when I took them to the playground to play.In a blink of an eye, he was already a man. Time is really cruel.There is a very artistic little nurse in the department. During a break, she held her mobile phone and said to me, Doctor Ye, look, this sentence is very artistic. The cruelest thing is the death of the young man in memory. in time and space.In this way, I have died several times, and we are all lost in the torrent of time and can never go back.

"I believe in you. If you have something to do, you come to me, even though you have grown up. But I will always be your brother. If you get into trouble at school, come to me first." I clenched Jiang Zhe's hand and punched him in the chest .

Jiang Zhe nodded. He pursed his lips and smiled slightly. It was such a simple smile that seemed to brighten the gloomy and low-pressure weather.

"Brother, Wu Qingfeng is here too." I was about to go back to the department when Jiang Zhe stopped me from behind. "Everyone will be busy in the future, and we won't see each other much. Can you see him again. He wants to say sorry to you personally, is that okay?" Jiang Zhe's voice was low, with a soft-hearted pleading.

"Okay." I turned around, some things should be made clear earlier, and everyone stopped thinking about it. "What about others?"

"He doesn't dare to come in to see you, he's at the hospital gate." Hearing my permission, Jiang Zhe walked a few steps over, and the expression on his face became much more relaxed.

We came out of the T hospital together, and a few cars drove past in the square in front of the hospital.In the huge square, Wu Qingfeng was standing in the corner. If Jiang Zhe hadn't led me, I could hardly find him.The sky was getting heavier and heavier, and the raindrops were getting denser and denser. By the time I walked to him, my glasses were already worn out.I reached out and touched the water stains on my face. In this season, there will always be several heavy rains in Beijing, which will hinder traffic in severe cases.Such a weather, I don’t know if it’s just a joke from God, but it really fits the occasion.

"Brother..." Wu Qingfeng called me, his voice was hoarse.The glasses were full of water droplets, so I couldn't see his expression clearly.But I can still clearly feel that when I walked in, he took a step back involuntarily.

"Brother, I was wrong." Wu Qingfeng yelled, his voice tinged with tears, the rain was getting heavier and heavier, I don't know whether it was tears or raindrops that flowed wantonly on his face.

"Forget it. This matter is over, don't mention it in the future."

"Brother..." Wu Qingfeng sniffled. "In the future, I will definitely not drink, and I will not do any bastard things. Let's be as good as before, please forgive me this time, okay?"

"Xiao Qing, it's been so many years, and you also know that your brother is narrow-minded." Wu Qingfeng stretched out his hand to me, and I avoided it calmly.

"Ye Chen." After a moment of silence, Wu Qingfeng raised his drooping head suddenly. He has always called me brother, standing beside me as a younger brother. This is the first time he called me by my name.No longer as a junior, but as a man, standing in front of me as an equal. "I want to know if I still have a chance. I won't disturb your life any more. If you don't want to see me, I won't show up, but I've been waiting for you. If one day, you are the only one left, I will again Appear. I am younger than you. If you are too old to walk, I will push you out to bask in the sun. I will accompany you and take care of you for the rest of your life. Whenever you need me, just call me and I will appear immediately. Ye Chen , can I wait for you?"

I know Wu Qingfeng's feelings for me, but if I don't say something clearly, I can't understand it. I hate guessing.It would be a lie to say that I am not moved.I can still clearly remember when I was quarantined because of SARS, lying alone on the hospital bed, 13-year-old Wu Qingfeng called my brother in a low voice, comforted me, and held my gauze-wrapped hand at the same time.

"Don't wait for me." I took off my rain-wet lenses and squinted at Wu Qingfeng. From such a close distance, I could barely see his expression clearly.His eyes were wide open and slightly bloodshot. "Don't wait for me. Wu Qingfeng, you will be my brother all your life." Wu Qingfeng is my brother. I am narrow-minded but don't hold grudges. I will remember his kindness to me. Even if there is no way to return to the previous state of intimacy, He is still my brother, and he can only be my brother. "You go and live a good life. I don't have any sense of responsibility. I'm used to being lazy. That's it. But you are still young, don't learn from me. In the future, no matter whether you give birth to a daughter or a son, you must recognize me as a godfather. I treat them as my own pain, and they will give me old age in the future."

"Ye Chen." After a long time, Wu Qingfeng spoke again. "Can I give you one last hug?"

"Okay." I nodded and opened my arms.Wu Qingfeng threw himself into my arms, he bent over, his cheek pressed against my chest, I felt the warmth different from the rain.His hand holding me was shaking all the time, trying to pull back but couldn't.I patted Wu Qingfeng on the back a few times.The hug was very short, and Wu Qingfeng quickly left my arms.He raised his hand and wiped his face vigorously.

"Brother, goodbye! I will live a good life. When I have a girlfriend in the future, I will definitely bring it back for you to see. You can prepare delicious food for us." Wu Qingfeng shouted, his voice was weakened by the heavy rain, and he took a step forward. Taking a step back, Jiang Zhe followed.The figures of the two finally disappeared in the torrential rain.