Dashuai and cross talk

"What happened later? Master?" The thick-headed little apprentice couldn't recite the basic skills, and with a pair of shining eyes, he lay on the old man's lap and wrapped him around him, explaining, "Did he really dig orange trees for you?"

The old man stroked the top of his disciple's head kindly, and smiled: "Boy, have you read Zhu Ziqing's "Back View"?"

The little ghost who skipped class to visit the cross talk garden was naturally taken aback.

"I'm uneducated, I told you to work hard, but you're ignorant and incapable of learning." The old man Erlang raised his legs and brushed off his long gown. In his hale and hearty eyes, he could vaguely see the shrewdness in assessing the situation in the past. "What kind of orange tree, that's another name for 'Papa'."

Little Disciple: "..."

The apprentice came over at the right time, chased away the playful brat, leaned forward, and bowed respectfully to the old man: "Master, it's time to go on stage."

Yes, take the stage, take the stage.

There are countless heroes in the rolling river, and the end of the troubled times began with the sound of rumbling cannons at the head of Fengtian City.

All the heroes rise together, and the dust gradually falls.

In the midst of sighs, the bustling withered and revived.

Taiping was originally decided by the general, and the general was not allowed to see Taiping.

Some people have left their names in history, while the rest of the world is in a hurry and confused.

Now it is 80 years later.

Dashuai has become a character in history books.

Those who talk about cross talk are still talking about cross talk, although they stumbled and became "dean".

It seems that it is just a trance, those years have passed by.

With the support of his disciples, he walked to the center of the stage neither vigorously nor tremblingly, finished reciting a section of the opening poem, and fell to Xingmu at the right time.

Before the text of the cross talk was released, there was already thunderous applause from the audience, with applause one after another.

The 98-year-old old cross talk artist came here for his last tour and caused a sensation in the city.

The lowest ticket price is as high as 998, and it is hard to find a ticket.

"I have been to Fengtian many times. At first, I talked about cross talk here. This is my blessed place!"

The audience applauded enthusiastically.

"It's not that I said, you are much easier to fool than the previous audience." The old artist sighed solemnly, "In the old days, when I went to the commander's mansion to talk about cross talk, I would order a poem. That guy, there are people who wedge up bricks in the audience , there are those who shoot upwards... say that a piece of cross talk can earn three brick-roofed houses, and it also comes with an arsenal."

The audience roared with laughter.

The old artist was quiet for a while, and nodded to his apprentice: "The earning at that time was much more than now."

The audience laughed louder.

……

"I also served as the commander-in-chief's staff."

"Really, what good plan have you come up with?"

"That must be a good idea. At that time, all the little devils in the city were cursing their mothers when they were angry."

The apprentice was very interested: "Really? Then you have to tell us."

The old artist sneaked in: "I told the commander-in-chief to arrange board and lodging for the little devils - the next door to eat is full of toilets, and the place to stay has no huts, forcing the little devils to have no choice but to go to the vegetable field to solve the problem. It's over. Go back to the table for dinner, it's all right—"

"What good?"

The old artist smiled badly: "The dishes I've been familiar with just now are all hot, and they're all on the table."

The apprentice made an indescribable expression, and then said: "Then they have to scold their mothers."

The audience booed happily.

……

The stage is bright and brightly lit.

The grievances and hatreds of heroes in troubled times are all jokes in the smoke and dust of time.

The warm atmosphere lasted until the end.

The performance is over, and the music is over.

The old man sat in the background, drinking freshly brewed Pu'er to rest his throat.

Discussions from the audience came from the crowd after the show.

The young man doesn't know the heights of the sky and the earth, and dares to say anything while laughing.

"I heard that Elder Gao used to be that commander?"

"It's Hu Chuan, Mr. Gao has a good reputation." Another idler received it, "Besides, throughout the ages, there have been some marshals who rushed to sing operas, some who rushed to act in movies, and some who rushed to sing drums...Which one said Come back and put it on the head of the bed?"

The other pondered for a while: "Maybe this handsome guy has a strong taste."

The young man walked away giggling, and the apprentice opened the curtain to come in. Hearing this sentence, he couldn't get out and couldn't get in. He could only stand in the shadows and watch the old cross talk master think.

After a long while, the old man said, "I really asked the commander-in-chief to snatch it back."

Seeing that he was not angry, the apprentice thought that the old man had been through ups and downs all his life and had never seen anything before, so he would not be distracted by the naughty boy's nonsense, so he approached him and apologized: "You said it."

The old man didn't answer, but just said to himself: "Master...these real things, no one will believe me when I tell them now!"

The apprentice paused, feeling that we couldn't continue the conversation for the day, so he could only change the subject and cover up his embarrassment by not being big or small: "When Master Shang Xiaolou was still here, he told us juniors the story of you and your wives. , the old man has been wondering, you have married eight wives in your life, which one do you love the most?"

"Which one do I love the most?" the old man continued, "I love the hero the most."

The apprentice shook his arms behind his back, saying to himself that it was fortunate that no reporter was called at the moment.

But the old man said quietly again: "Oh...that mistress of yours is called a hero."

apprentice:"……"

The old man asked again: "Do you know why I became the old master of cross talk?"

apprentice:"……"

"Yes, you're right—because I've outlived my predecessors."

apprentice:"……"

Good slang, easy to think about, no airs...

The nearly hundred-year-old cross talk master has almost all the pleasing qualities.

But "likable" seems to be from one moment to another.

The hero who often "fucked up" was once worse than death because of his "quality".

"Are there any plans for tomorrow?" the old man asked, "I want to take a walk in Fengtian City."

"Where does Master want to go?"

"The Marshal's Mansion."

--------------------------

The Grand Marshal's mansion has been renovated into a tourist attraction, and the vermilion lacquer gate has been repainted. The modern aesthetics and color matching make the old man a little confused.

Only the bluestone slabs from a hundred years ago have darkened the color of the years, and the silhouette of the old days can be vaguely seen.

The old man turned around the Fengyeming Corridor, squatted for a long time on the edge of the rockery beside the corridor, and pointed out a hole weathered over the years to his apprentice: "This is a bullet hole. I shot it wrong back then. I didn't touch it back then. Passed the gun."

This tone of voice is correct, and the tone seems to be asking for credit.

Not only that, but the staff member next to him was extremely excited because he recognized the face of the cross talk master.

The apprentice felt that the young man might simply want to report the old man for destroying cultural relics.

The wing room where the high-level executives lived was really out of the way, and the renovators couldn't find any historical relics, so they simply changed it into a screening room, and the video clips were broadcast in rotation.

A few words, finished the life of this patriotic general Jin Ge Tie Ma.

After watching the video without saying a word, Tai Dou made a precise comment on the video - "bullshit".

At the end of the video, the overall patriotic general died on the way to transfer supplies, but he made two guesses about his motives for transferring supplies.

"I still don't know, why did he transfer the supplies?"

Back then, under his guidance, the marshal finally learned to be ruthless, which made the little devil complain.

And the little devil's grievance quickly turned into revenge.

The battle line was too long, and the little devil's military strength was tight, so he finally decided to support the war with war. Due to the general's one light and one dark, one soft and one hard resistance, the other party felt the toughness in this superficially jovial boss, and simply gave up recruiting and recruiting directly. The main force, Dangping Fengtian as a base, expects to continue going south.

The two sides fought fiercely outside Fengtian City for three months, but the commander-in-chief was outnumbered in the end.

He went south to rescue soldiers, but the other party evaded the shortage of supplies and could not send troops to Fengtian. In a rage, he took all the supplies and went south, only asking the other party to march as soon as possible.

He died on the way to this escort.

The expert called by the old man was over 50 years old, wearing glasses with thick bottle bottoms, listened to the master cross talk talk about this period of history in a cadence, and examined the impassioned words with a critical eye: "What basis do you have for saying that history is so?"

"Evidence?" the old man said, "I was in the vehicle that escorted the supplies."

In Fengtian's cold winter, the wind and snow are like knives, and explosives/explosives have long been ambushed on the road they must pass.

The man who appeared to be rough and thoughtful seemed to have noticed that before the convoy was about to enter the ambush area, the commander kicked him off the car.

You read your opening poem, I will lead the soldiers to fight my battle, and each will go his own way!

What?I snatched it back?It doesn't count!When I see your face, I can't get my dick off!

Go forward?No, let me go back, dare to follow me and kill you!

He has been planning and planning for this war for a long time, and although most of his ideas are not on the table, they are really useful.

He understands the integrity of his reluctance to subjugate the country, and knows that he only wants to be a hero.

He thought they were still friends.

But he just waited for the door to come here.

He had never felt full of grievances before, and walked a short distance shivering in the snow with anger, only to hear the explosion that soared into the sky when he turned his head.

He is a soldier, and the road ahead is a sea of ​​swords and swords, and I will go there.

And he never thought of dragging a commoner who talked about cross talk to his death.

The icy wind and snow mixed with the roiling heat wave, and all the soldiers around the commander were killed or injured. He dragged the heavily injured commander for two days non-stop before handing the commander into his own hands.

But it was too late.

The confidant only had time to recall his eldest son and listen to his final deployment and last words.

And in his last words, apart from emphasizing how to fuck a little devil, there was actually one sentence for him.

The Marshal said that it is rare to have a confidant in life.

May the next life be peaceful forever, without the smoke of gunpowder.

——This man from the Northeast was not very successful in his writing, and his accent was so strong in the Northeast that this sentence sounded like "a chicken is rare in life"—this later became his cross talk joke.

The expert suddenly heard the historical truth, and pushed the bottom of the bottle on the bridge of his nose: "May I ask who you belong to the commander-in-chief? Guard? Personal soldier? Confidant? Why is there no record of you?"

"Oh, when I was young, the Marshal sent someone to snatch it back to the mansion. I used to live in this house."

The old master's words shocked everyone, and almost shattered the bottom of the bottle on the bridge of the expert's nose - he had studied the life of the marshal, so of course he knew why the marshal snatched the artist back.

The apprentice was sweating from fright, but the old artist was very happy.

"What's the matter? The commander-in-chief can grab the ones who sing operas, the ones who can act in movies, the ones who can sing drums, and the ones who can't talk about cross talk?"

"Can...can..."

The old master didn't bother to give advice, he let out a "hum" and walked away.

The commander-in-chief has said it all, a confidant is rare in life, what shall I tell you?

Fengtian's winter came very early this year, the old man stepped out of the courtyard, and the first snow fell.

The apprentice came out tremblingly, fearing that he would fall, but saw that the old man had already sat in the co-pilot with great boldness, and finally had only one order to "drive".

The apprentice drove out tremblingly for a long time, not daring to drive too fast, for fear that the old boy would find the quarrel boring and would go back and fight another five hundred rounds.

However, when he looked sideways, he found that the old man had already fallen asleep.

But in the vast expanse of whiteness, the old man saw a man with a height of nine feet and a heroic Kong Wu.

He stood in front of him, smoking the bag of dry tobacco.

When he got closer, the other party only looked sideways.

Damn it!

Talk about cross talk!You are defaming Lao Tzu's reputation!

The old man had nothing to say, just smiled.

Hate not to meet each other, the old friend falls into a dream.

The auspicious snows come and go, and the heroic souls of the dead bless this weather-beaten land.

May the coming year always be a year of abundance.