Chang'an ancient meaning

Li Chengqi woke up in a cold sweat, and the dim light passed through the curtain, smudged the mica screen like medicine jade.In the silence, only the whirring wind outside could be heard, and the rustling sound was like the clump of bamboo in the courtyard, and it seemed like boundless drizzle.It made him more and more confused, he didn't know whether it was early in the sky or the wind and rain outside were dark.

He dimly felt that his back was wet with sweat, and when he turned around a little, the pain in his buttocks and legs made him groan.The sound of the wind and rain in his ear matched the pain in his body, and it was so closely blended with the dream that he entered the dream again in a trance. The heart-wrenching beating was accompanied by fine raindrops falling on his body. He couldn't avoid it, so he shouted Without making a sound, he vaguely saw gurgling blood spreading all over the ground, spreading in his sight.

After lying quietly for a while, my sanity gradually recovered, and I knew that I was not in the emperor's court or in the judge's court, and the soreness and pain behind me were far less intense than in the dream.But the mood in the dream was so clear, there was so much nostalgia and gratitude in his heart that he couldn't express it.The deep regret at that moment, the unattainable distance between me and me, flashed countless times in his dreams.

Li Chengqi gritted his teeth and turned sideways, his forehead touched the warm but not cold amber pillow, like the warm touch of nephrite.Under him is a soft and smooth fox fur mattress, which will sink slightly into this warm valley between tossings, as if being hugged by a mother's hand, which greatly relieves the pain.He smelled a faint fragrance, and searched with his eyes, there was a little golden duck-scented beast on the small table under his feet, his eyes flickered a little brightly, looking cute and cute in the dim space.The aroma seems to be submerged, but a little astringent, like the juice of green grass.He thought hard for a moment, but he couldn't remember the name of this incense - he had been away from this bustling life for so long that when he came back, he would feel dazed and uneasy, thinking of the poverty and loneliness of the past, the cold, hard ground, rough The pouch that he loves is the true face of his life, and the tenderness and wealth he enjoys now is all in Nanke's dream.

If he could choose, he thought, he would still give up the embroidered tents, cloud screens, sables, golden ducks, bells, drums and jade, and all the magnificence created by man, and return to the place where there are only a few clumps of green grass and a tree and weeping willows. Go to the small courtyard.He watched the nymphs fly in, couldn't find the flowers, and then flew away resentfully, feeling slightly apologetic in his heart; he watched the young man with a bright smile appear on the wall, took the bag of snacks he handed over, although The daily surprises are so fresh, but I can only greet him with the most ordinary smile.The sun rises and the moon sets, the glory of spring and the fading of autumn, there is also the anxiety of the cold north wind, and the sadness of the frost and insects, but he is peaceful in his heart, and he thinks that waiting can last forever.

He even thought about it unreasonably, if this small courtyard is not in the deep palace, but in Chang'an where the sunset is red, in the Jiangnan where the apricot blossoms are misty and rainy, there is a mother, a father, and a young man who never seems to be sad.Then he can be a little bolder. Every morning when he wakes up, he gently hooks the fingers of the people around him, and calls him softly: "Flower Slave." Every moment is filled with joyful gratitude to Creation.

Li Chengqi laughed dumbly as he thought about it, but tears slowly fell from the corners of his eyes.

Li Dan had been sitting in the warm pavilion for a long time, and he heard a slight weeping in the tent, so he went over and pulled the curtain, opened the screen, and saw Li Chengqi with his legs curled up, his eyes closed, and a line of tears rolling down the bridge of his nose Down.He was a little surprised, and said: "Fengnu, what's wrong with you? But the pain is severe?"

Li Chengqi might as well have his father by his side, and hurriedly opened his eyes and said: "No, it's not..." He was surprised that there were still tears hanging on his face, so he hurriedly wiped it off, and said, "I was stunned just now." He supported himself and knelt up , Kowtowed on the bed and said: "My son is acting absurdly, causing father to be ashamed, please punish him." Li Dan sighed, and said softly: "If you have something to say, lie down and say it." Li Chengqi was ashamed, and called out: "Daddy... "

Li Dan sat down on the side of the bed, and lightly pressed his hand on Li Chengqi's shoulder. Although he didn't use any strength at all, Li Chengqi slowly lay down following his gestures.Li Dan covered him with a quilt, took out a white rag, wiped away the remaining tears on his face, and said, "How's the injury on his body? Do you want to send the medical officer in?" Li Chengqi didn't know why, At this moment, he was very afraid of seeing outsiders, so he shook his head and said, "It doesn't hurt anymore if you don't touch it." Li Dan felt relieved, thinking that what the two criminal prisons said was true, he stretched out his hand to straighten his son's hair. Yesterday Li Chengqi was blamed She hadn't combed her hair yet, but her long hair was hanging loose, spreading like a black cloud by the pillow.Li Dan's fingers slipped through the smooth and cool silk, and he felt a dull pain in his heart. He remembered that Concubine Liu also had such black and slippery hair.

Li Chengqi breathed heavily, thinking that his father would definitely ask about what happened yesterday, but he just stared at him with pity and said nothing.He waited for a moment, really unable to bear such silence, looked outside the screen, it turned out that it was dawn, and asked softly: "Father, what time is it?" It's noon." Li Chengqi was startled, he might as well have slept for a long time, and thought of something again, hesitatingly said: "Huanu...is he still here?"

Li Dan said: "I sent him back last night. Your aunt sent someone to deliver a letter this morning. She wants to lock up Hua Nu for a few days." Li Chengqi was worried and guilty, and said: "Yesterday was all my son's. It’s my fault, it’s not about Hua Nu.” Li Dan said: “Your aunt didn’t beat him, she just wanted to show that she had thought about it with Supreme. What’s wrong with you two, can you tell me——you It’s okay if you don’t want to say it.”

When his father asked this sentence, Li Chengqi suddenly got a little clarity in his mind. He remembered the name of this fragrance, which is Hengwu, which was originally a fragrance that makes people fall into dreams[1], no wonder it made him feel lonely With distant thinking, the essence floats out, and experiences the most painful memory exactly; no wonder he weeps like Han Wu, it is similar to the breath of spring grass, which is too easy to let go. People think about the past.He murmured, "It's all my son's fault..."

Seeing that he was still saying the same thing, Li Dan didn't want him to blame himself too much, so he comforted him and said, "I know what kind of person you are." Li Chengqi shook his head in tears and said, "No, my son really deserves no punishment. There has never been a day when you served Yu Xuan's knees, and your father just relaxed for a few days, and then caused troubles to shame you..." Li Dan gently held his shoulders, and said: "Fengnu, these years, I can't help myself, It's not up to you, if you talk about faults..." He shook his head dejectedly, and said: "Let's not talk about this. Feng Nu, if Daddy takes you away from God City, would you be willing?"

Li Chengqi was startled and said, "Where are you going?" Li Dan smiled and said, "I don't know yet, it's just——these days, I watched them change the screen at the head of my bed every now and then, changing it to Xiaoxiang Yunshui for a while, and changing it for a while. Doing the scenery of Lishan Mountain, I was in the misty cloud for a while. I really wanted to see it in my heart. I have lived in the East Palace for ten years. When I open the window, it will always be that sycamore tree, which turns from yellow to green. , from green to yellow, day by day, year by year... It wasn't until I came out that I realized that the tree grew from a small tree. I grew old with it, but I don't feel it."

Li Dan was silent for a moment, then breathed a sigh of relief and said: "In a few days, when the war in the north is settled, your third uncle's position as the crown prince will also be secured. I want to ask the Supreme Lord for an order, and follow the regulations of the prince of this dynasty. , Let me go out to live in Beijing. Fengnu, you and I have both held that seat, and your third uncle will be embarrassed if you stay here." Li Chengqi was in a state of confusion, and whispered: "Where is Dad going, the son will naturally serve..." Seeing that he was not happy, Li Dan hesitated and asked, "Are you reluctant to part with Hua Nu?"

Hearing these words, Li Chengqi felt as if his whole body had been struck by a thunderbolt. He suddenly sat up and said in a trembling voice, "Father..."

Seeing him like this, Li Dan was even more suspicious in his heart, but his face was still calm, and he said: "Although I am in the East Palace, I know a little about you and him. Hua Nu and your aunt are really good to our family. Grace is as heavy as a mountain."

Li Chengqi thought, maybe he has endured too much these past few days, maybe he has exhausted his strength from the stick responsibility last night, maybe he just experienced parting from life and death again in his dream, maybe his father is so indifferent. All temptations have driven him to the point of no return.A wave of heat burst out of his heart, turned into tears and overflowed his eyes again. The blurred vision made him feel confused. He guessed that the injury caused him to be hot, and he would talk nonsense, but every word he said, But it was like the bright moon facing the water, clearly projecting what he thought in his heart.

Li Chengqi wept and said: "Daddy... If I didn't have Hua Nu, I wouldn't be able to live today... Even if I were alive, I wouldn't be what I am now." Li Dan frowned and said, "If there is a chance, you can fight for him too. Life, life and death, repaying his kindness, can you leave with peace of mind?"

Li Chengqi only felt that the pain in his lower body was becoming unbearable, but he didn't dare to fall down, his whole body was already extremely fragile, he was afraid that this fall would shatter his heart along with it.He clasped his father's arm to support his precarious body, sobbing: "You can repay the kindness, the love...I can't figure it out..."

There was a rumble in Li Dan's mind, and the thoughts that he tried hard to discard in the past rushed to his eyes again.He still remembered that 20 years ago, the second elder brother saw the beautiful and ferocious head of the young man hanging on the city gate, and his face was as pale as a dead man.Li Dan still remembered that Li Xian, the second elder brother who was about to be deposed as the crown prince, also grabbed his arm in the same way, knelt down slowly, and sobbed intermittently as if he was dying.It was probably at that time that he realized that the sordid rumors between the second brother and the boy were different from the emperor's teasing with pets in the history books. The tears were too hot, far beyond the meaning of teasing. It is the earnestness to make the second brother lose his life.

Now the scorching tears and the distorted look of pain are falling on his son exactly, this is an ominous sign.Li Dan was startled and angry at first, he raised his hand, subconsciously wanting to wake up his son, but he saw his hand shaking violently, he was stunned for a moment, the hand came back slowly, and wiped away a few tears on Li Chengqi's face .

Li Chengqi got up and slid off the bed, kowtowed at Li Dan's feet and cried, "It's my son who is shameless...the son deserves more than his death, Daddy, you kill your son! You kill your son!"

Li Dan organized his thoughts amidst Li Chengqi's crying, until his kowtow made him feel familiar, he must have heard or experienced this almost collapsed prayer before hearing that voice, Pain all over the body.He pondered carefully, whether it was the kowtow made by the second brother when he begged his mother to let Zhao Daosheng go, or the kowtow made by the third brother when he begged his mother to let the princess go[2], was it the kowtow made by Taiping when he begged his mother to let Xue Shao go—or I, in my dream, begged my mother to release the kowtow of Concubine Liu and Concubine Dou?Although he has never spoken, but in his countless dreams, like his brothers and sisters, he kowtows and bleeds, making the most desperate and weakest efforts for what he is attached to.

They all failed, and since then they have been living with a crippled half of their lives. This incompleteness is branded on their Li family like a curse of disgust.Is it now Feng Nu's turn to experience the incompleteness?In the sound of kowtowing, Li Dan pierced his heart with thousands of arrows. He bent down and held his son's shoulders, stroked his bruised forehead with his fingers, and sighed: "Feng Nu, when Daddy hasn't seen you for more than ten years , just comfort yourself, with Hua Nu by your side, you will probably be happier. I didn't expect it to be like this... You have been implicated by me for half your life, and you have suffered too much. Now this moment of peace is hard to come by, Daddy I don't know how long I can keep you safe..." He seemed to be uncomfortable with this thought, took a breath, and then continued: "My wish in this life is to never touch that seat again, to see you and Chengyi, Longji , Longfan, and Longye live happily ever after. Fame and me don’t mean much to you and me. Whatever you want to do, just do it... There will be a lot of trouble in the future, and your mouth will be dry. If you are happy today, you should like it... ...Don't think about me, as long as you can be happy..."

While speaking, Li Dan helped his limp son to the bed. He got up and placed a towel in the hot water. He wiped his face first, then soaked it in cold water, wrung it dry, and put it on his forehead.He was busy going in and out, doing what he had never done in his life, and it was the most common thing for parents in the world.He looked at his son with gentle and tolerant eyes, the same as the eyes of parents all over the world, and even the old horse looked at the pony. It meant that no matter what mistakes his son made, he had already forgiven him before he understood.

Xue Chongjian was detained at home by his mother for five days. He was so anxious that he looked around, and finally found an opportunity to tie up the guards, climb over the wall, and first hid in a friend's house for the middle of the night.In the early morning, people sent letters to Wu Yanji, Wu Chongxun and others, asking them to meet outside Jianchun gate.Wu Chongxun and Wu Yanji brought people to the gate of Jianchun. Xue Chongjian was already waiting on his horseback. Wu Chongxun was taken aback for a moment: "Why are you alone?" Xue Chongjian smiled lazily, and walked over and said, "I am only looking for you two, not Fighting wolves, why bring so many people?"

Wu Chongxun and Xue Chongjian had fought so much that they couldn't count their fingers since they were young, but they were very happy, they jumped off the horse, took off the headrest and threw it away, lifted the robe and tied it around their waists, and said to Wu Yanji: "I'll come, Second brother, you are the judge." Xue Chongjian's gaze was calm and indifferent, he pointed at Wu Chongxun and Wu Yanji and said, "You two, come together."

Xue Chongjian ran away from home, and Taiping's first thought was to send people to look for him in the villa.Li Chengqi's stick injury was no longer a hindrance, he stood up and listened to the man's report, and couldn't help but smile, he knew where Xue Chongjian had gone, and since he was a child, he has been protecting himself and not allowing himself to be wronged in the slightest.

Li Chengqi sent the man away and ordered his servants to prepare hot soup for bathing.Because it was winter, the servants heated the water a little too hot, poured buckets of fragrant soup made from dried lilies into the pool, and the water mist filled the room, making it difficult to distinguish people's faces.Li Chengqi felt a little more at ease in this hidden mist, he dismissed his servants, took off his clothes, put some things he asked for from the medical officer on a stone plate, and walked into the soup pool step by step.

The scalding hot water soaked the buttocks and legs, arousing the burning pain of the swelling of the old wound that had not yet healed.He clings to the stone lotus by the pool, gritted his teeth and endured it. Gradually, the pain became a little numb, and turned into a tired and comfortable soreness all over his body.Li Chengqi regained his composure and picked up the small bamboo tube. His hands were shaking violently, but his heart was full of radiant peace.

When Xue Chongjian returned from the battlefield, he went straight to Li Chengqi's courtyard. A Luo was doing needlework outside. When she looked up at Xue Chongjian, her clothes were torn in several places. She was even more embarrassed than that day. She couldn't help laughing in surprise: "You are over the wall Turned out a cover?" Xue Chongjian smiled and twisted her face, and said: "Where is cousin?" A Luo said: "His Royal Highness is resting in the warm pavilion-oh, His Highness said, you are coming, Just go in and meet him."

Xue Chongjian was very happy when she heard this, and quickly ran into the Nuan Pavilion, shouting, "Cousin! How's your injury? I just escaped last night, and I went to teach those two bastards a lesson for you this morning... ..." He broke into the Nuan Pavilion, a gust of warm wind with a slightly sweet aroma rushed towards him, and he was taken aback for a moment, he subconsciously slowed down, the room was warm and quiet, only the charcoal fire in the smoke cage Gently pop a charcoal or two.

Xue Chongjian called softly: "Cousin?" He walked towards the bed with tiptoe steps, and for some reason, even though there was no wind, the curtain embroidered with clove patterns seemed to shake slightly in front of his eyes.He didn't see the aromatherapy ball in the room, but he didn't know where a thick and sweet aroma came out, and it penetrated into the pores of his body and into his lungs, making him feel the pain on his arm when he even raised his hand. A little soft.

When Xue Chongjian lifted the curtain, his heart beat unstoppably fast, he just felt like he was in a dream, when the curtain was lifted, there would be something wonderful or terrible.There is a faint fear in his heart, but this fear can't stop him from exploring the answer to this mystery, even if there is an abyss inside, he can only jump down.

The curtain is lifted to reveal a closed mica screen, revealing a faint picture of the mountains and rivers on the other side.Xue Chongjian pulled it, but did not move at all, Ji Falcon buckled it from inside.

The author has something to say: [1] Jin?Wang Jia's "Recovering Lost Things?five?Former Han?"First": "The emperor rested in the Yanliang room, and Mrs. Li in the sleeping dream gave the emperor the fragrance of Hengwu. The emperor woke up, and the fragrance was especially on the clothes and pillows, and it lasted for a month. The emperor thought about it, but he never saw him again, and wept. After a meeting, I changed the Yanliang room into the Yifang's dream room."

[2] Li Xian first married the daughter of his aunt, Princess Changle, with Zhao as his concubine. Later, Zhao was imprisoned by Wu Zetian and died of starvation. Li Xiancai restored Webster as the princess.

I still dragged the sheets to the next chapter...