Yang Jian and Sun Wukong

Yang Jin took advantage of his business trip to give himself a long vacation and went on a trip.

He went to many places, the tender Jiangnan, the bitter cold Saibei, and traveled all over most of China.There is no destination, wherever you want to go, hold a flat boat, roll a light sail, and go down the river at night, one person, one boat, one pot of wine, melt the moonlight into the wine, and drink with the breeze on the river.The wind blows the leaves, like a lover whispering in the ear, lighting a fishing fire, like ghost eyes flickering in the netherworld.

The night is dark, and insects are occasionally heard, and the buildings on both sides of the bank are only outlines, like some beasts, huddled in blackness.

The old man who punted the boat kept making noises, introducing him to local places of interest, local customs and customs, but Yang Jin couldn't hear a word, and his thoughts drifted uncontrollably.

There is an old man on a boat beside him, and he is with others, but he feels that he is living alone in the vast world.

Loneliness, like a hand with sharp nails, grabs his heart.There is nowhere to hide, nothing to do.

Under the cold moon, on the clear river, in the helplessness of wanting to get drunk, I think of the young man who is full of vigor and vitality.

My heart suddenly hurts.

The pain was so bad that it took strong alcohol to suppress it.

When the wine enters the heart of sorrow, it turns into a hot stream, rushing straight to the eye sockets and nose, struggling to suppress the urge to shed tears, drinking the last drop of wine, looking into the distance, letting go of thoughts, letting the breeze soothe the cheeks, watching the dark clouds in the night sky, enjoying Thousands of miles alone, feeling boundless loneliness.Gradually, the stagnation was gradually resolved, and finally the wind and clouds dissipated without leaving a trace, and my mind was blank.

Love is like a needle, always inadvertently and accurately piercing the most vulnerable corner of the heart, even if you have copper skin and iron bones on the outside, you can't lower the pain deep in your heart.

Fortunately, Yang Jin thought, I can still hold on.

It was mid-winter, and the south of the Yangtze River was mostly in decay, with no snow and rain.

Hold a local specialty oil-paper umbrella and walk in the alley paved with bluestone slabs.The eaves are dripping, ticking, ticking, implying the rhythm and rhythm of the universe.In the distance came the ethereal and soft singing of a minority girl.

Straighten your back, straighten your chest, alone, with an umbrella, covered in rain, walking alone on the road of life in the wind and rain.

Loneliness is a knife that cuts his flesh slowly one by one, refusing to give him any pleasure.Loneliness is a wine that can't be drunk. It ferments and sublimates in the chest cavity, enveloping a life of black and white.After being lonely for a long time, I learned to enjoy loneliness.When he is alone, he is comfortable and free, he can sort out the messy thoughts, and he is more determined not to drag people into the water - he is already in hell, he can't put another person who should have a bright future and should have a wife and children People also pull down.

Just board any train and leave.The train passed through the snowy field and stopped.Do not go to tourist attractions with tour groups, but go to the deserted countryside.

There is no one in the wilderness, and the harvested fields are covered with white snow, rolling up and down, and the eyes are pure white.The sky is white, the ground is white, the trees are white, and the houses are also white. When you look up, the clouds in the high sky are as pale as a smear of white paint.The biting cold wind blew through his body.Stepping on the snow, there is a row of footprints like ears of wheat, and every step I take makes a "creak" and "creak".The world is so pure that it is unreal, Yang Jin involuntarily breathes lightly, as if afraid of disturbing this beauty.This place is completely different from the bustling and noisy modern city that Yang Jin used to live in. This place is so natural and innocent, like a paradise.

I really want to bring that person here to see...

As soon as the thought came up, I immediately felt a pain.

Fortunately, it's not very severe. I don't know how much pain I have to experience in this world. Such a little pain is nothing.He will eventually adapt, and then one day, forget.

Yang Jin strode forward in the snow with his head held high, his face impeccably calm.

In the evening, I went to the city by car to watch the local play Errenzhuan. The two actors on the stage tried their best to make people laugh. Yang Jin sat in the audience with a blank expression.

I heard that most of the duo actors are husband and wife. They sing together and sing together. They are partners at work and lovers in life. They can hold hands and embrace openly. If they are two men, they must cover up and avoid the strange eyes of the world.Yang Jin never cared about other people's eyes, but he was afraid that Yang Qitian would care. He couldn't help but think for Yang Qitian. All he had was that it was the best time of his life. Why should he ruin it in Yang Jin's hands?If Yang Qitian was with a man, how would he bear the pressure from relatives, friends and society?

Yang Jin thinks that the only thing he is good at is trying to figure out people's hearts. He has already discovered Yang Qitian's transformation during the date after time. As long as he works hard, Yang Qitian may accept him.But what right, what qualification does he have, to lead a simple young man on an evil path full of thorns?He likes Yang Qitian, if this kind of love must be asked for in return, it would be too cheap.

It's not that he can't see Yang Qitian's hesitation and inability to stop. Yang Qitian is like a drug addict. He knows he shouldn't, but he still can't control himself from getting deeper and deeper. Yang Jin takes everything in his eyes and pretends he doesn't know anything.The deeper Yang Qitian gets into, the more painful it will be when he rejects him. Yang Qitian is not a person who can use his feelings. One day, Yang Qitian will say it clearly, so why not let him be the villain?In the final analysis, rather than being rejected, it is better to speak first.

Every time I waited for him in the tea restaurant, I waited with trepidation.

Every time I get a call from him, I secretly fear that he will say "we don't see you again".

Finally, one weekend, Yang Qitian missed the appointment.

He waited from dawn to dusk, when the lights came on, watching the bustling crowd on the street and the cars whizzing by, he knew that Yang Qitian would never come.

But it doesn't matter if he doesn't come, at least Yang Jin saw him, didn't he?He knows that he has a good life, he knows what he looks like, he knows what his last name is, there is someone who can make him think about it so much, remember it wherever he goes, what could be happier than this of it?Human suffering comes from dissatisfaction. If you don't expect anything, you won't be disappointed.Yang Jin is very content.

The duet actors on stage performed hard.

Yang Jin in the audience watched them coldly.

A man and a woman are just a scene. It is hard to imagine how many rotten eggs would be thrown on the stage if there were two men.He is not a god, he can't drag Yang Qitian to the road of cutting off his children and grandchildren when he still doesn't understand what love is.

I have nothing to do every day, wandering around, and somehow wandered to a temple on this day.

There is an endless stream of tourists.

Yang Jin followed the crowd, knelt down in front of the Buddha, and clasped his hands together.

Buddha?Are there really gods and Buddhas in this world?

Yang Jin's eyes were stern.

The people around were muttering to themselves and making wishes.

Now that you're here, make a wish.

No need to think, the words have already come out: "I hope Yang Qitian will live a safe and happy life."

Yang Qitian must be happy, even if he doesn't have his share in this happiness, it doesn't matter.More than anyone else in this world, he hopes that Yang Qitian can be happy, but thinking that Yang Qitian's happiness will be brought about by a woman and one or several children in the future, and he is doomed to die alone, he still feels a little sad.

Followed the flow of people in line to ask for a peace talisman.

People wrote on the peace talisman, some wrote the name of their sweetheart, some drew a heart, and some wrote "I hope to have one heart, and the white head will never be apart".Yang Jin took out the pen that he carried with him, and wrote a line of small characters in a strange way: To be with the king, to share the pain and joy, to have no substitute, never to leave and never forget.

After finishing writing, I carefully put it in my pocket. Although I knew that there was no day to give it to that person, I was still a little happy.

He followed the flow of people to ask for a lottery.Yang Jin doesn't believe in gods, Buddhas, or destiny, but he's here, so let's have fun.

I asked for a signature, and the signature was "Falling flowers and wind and rain hurt spring even more".

This poem is about the petals withering, the residual red hurts the spring, the wind and rain are precarious, and time is fleeting, how can it be signed?

Ask the person who found the solution.

The person who released the lottery was wearing a monk's robe and had a bald head. He was in his twenties. There were often reports of fake monks on TV. For the time being, he was still not convinced that this person was a real monk.Besides, this person has delicate features, gentle and jade-like modesty, and is an out-and-out handsome man. He is so beautiful that he can't be contacted with an eminent monk.This kind of appearance was Yang Jin's favorite before, but now that he has found the person in his heart, he doesn't feel much about it.

"The benefactor doesn't understand why this is the upper lottery?" The handsome man monk's expression showed his gentle temperament even more.

Yang Jin nodded coldly.

"Looking at your face, it seems that you are entangled in your heart, and it is difficult to dispel it. If there is something you can't see, talk to me?"

Yang Jin frowned, and stared at him coldly.

"You're too wary, why bother? We are friends when we meet again. In the future, the so-called troubles in life are just feelings or career. You should be a successful person with a famous brand. There is no problem with work. It's feelings." The handsome monk said now The demeanor is particularly like a magic stick, "Well, I am the best at emotional matters. I am the legendary bosom brother."

A practicing monk actually said that he is the best at solving emotional problems.

"Let me tell you, the most important thing to note in love is not to make decisions for the other party. For example, you think you are doing it for his own good, but in fact, you are so stupid. You must not decide anything by yourself. Suppose you think that the other party is with you You won’t be happy, so you push him away. That’s not right. How can you be sure that the other person won’t be happy with you? You are not a god, so how can you know what the other person is thinking? Sometimes we are clever but we are misunderstood by our cleverness. , People can’t live too intelligently, see through everything, and understand people’s hearts, because that would be no fun.”

The monk continued to show off his three-inch tongue, Yang Jin raised his hand to interrupt him: "You...know me before?"

The monk took out a broken fan from under the table and shook it. He was not afraid of the cold even in the cold weather, and pretended to read a poem: "Why do we have known each other before?"

Yang Jin's face sank like water, "Why did you say these things to me?"

"If you want to believe it, just pretend we knew each other in a previous life."

Yang Jin took a glance and noticed a few pieces of paper under the table, on which were written "naming" and "fortune-telling". He stood up and said, "Thank you, goodbye." He walked out of the temple.

The monk didn't expect him to walk so simply. Most people would try to ask a few questions in such a situation. Why didn't this person follow the routine?Shouting in a panic from behind: "Send you a word, there are flowers that can be broken straight, don't wait for no flowers to break branches! My friend, my name is Tang San... Cai! Come and play with me when you have time!"

Yang Jin's figure was almost overwhelmed by the crowd.

The monk continued to shout: "It is classified as the upper sign because of its next line, and the next line is 'it is better to take pity on the person in front of you'! This line is full of hope!"

Yang Jin has walked out of the temple.

Holding the sign in his hand, he looked down.

The person in front of me?That's right, there is no such shop after passing this village. Fortunately, it's not Yang Jin who has the final say on happiness or not, but Yang Qitian himself.

What to say about tourism, to put it bluntly, is to escape.I didn't forget him when I fled from Jiangnan to Saibei. Geographically, did I escape psychologically?

Since you can't escape, you have to go back.

The end of the year is approaching, and Yang Jin will go back to preside over the overall situation.

I am as busy as ever at work, and my life is as dull as plain water, the kind of water that doesn't even add a little salt.

Yang Jin didn't look for Yang Qitian.

He returned to the original phone number, and the moment he turned on the phone, he expected to see Yang Qitian's short message or missed call, of course he didn't, this is normal.

Time is like running water, whether you are happy or not, anyway, the days go by day by day.

The company held a party on Christmas Eve, and Yang Jin was the protagonist as usual.

A group of colleagues had too much fun. After lunch, they went to KTV to sing and sing until the evening, and they drank a little too much.

Everyone booed and asked Yang Jin to sing with a beautiful woman.

Yang Jin pushed for a long time and said that he couldn't sing. At this time, whether he could sing or not, he had to sing. Drinking wine didn't work as a substitute, so he had to bite the bullet and order one.

The beauty sang first: "Don't worry, it's yours who can't run away even if she wants to."

Yang Jin answered: "Don't worry, you can't get what you want."

When he sang this line, he didn't know why his heart twitched. Yang Jin thought that he really drank too much. People who are drunk often can't control their emotions.

The beauty continued to sing: "If the world is big, it will be big, if it is small, it will be small."

Yang Jin sang: "Even if you and I have an agreement in a previous life, we still have to search for it with our heart..." My heart ached violently, I couldn't sing the next sentence, I couldn't say a word because of sobs, my throat was blocked damn.

The image of that young man has never been more vivid in his mind. On this day, this minute, this second, he is so distressed that he doesn't know where he is.

Yang Jin knew he couldn't hold on anymore.

Seeing this, the beauty rushed to the rescue and sang alone: ​​"See you soon."

For a moment, the lights stopped flickering, the voices stopped making noise, and the four words "see you or leave" exploded in your mind, like rolling thunder, from one side to the other, "buzzing" and "buzzing" in the ears. ", rang again and again, and nothing could be heard except those four words.

My heart was clenched by something, it was difficult to breathe, and my nose was sore.

Be there or be square.

Who said be there or be square?Who can be there or be square?Who is holding back halfway?Who turned back halfway?

One thought became clearer: I wanted to see him.

You must see Yang Qitian, right now, immediately, immediately, must.Don't ask why, there is no reason, he must see him.

After talking to my colleagues, regardless of dissuasion, I drove in the direction of Yang Qitian's house and started to fly.

When I arrived at the gate of his community and saw that the lights were not on, I remembered that Yang Qitian was still off work at this time. He took the No. 62 bus, and the starting point was the train station.So I turned around and went straight to the train station.

When you arrive at the place, park your car and wait under the No. 62 bus stop.

It seems that I have been waiting all my life.Waiting for an ending that I don't know whether it is good or bad.

Everyone was standing here, only to realize that they didn't know how many drivers there were on Route 62, that is, Yang Qitian was very likely to drive his car to the end, and he might have left work early.

After a while, a car came waiting, and I saw from the window that the driver was not the one to wait for.

Did not get in the car and continued to stand.

It runs every 8 or [-] minutes, and I can't remember how many cars are waiting, none of them.

Standing like an idiot, the roadside stalls secretly glanced at him, wondering why he didn't get in the car after waiting for so many cars.

You should call Yang Qitian and ask if he's off work.And stubbornly don't want to fight.

If it is really fate, it will definitely wait.How about doing an experiment with this, with twelve o'clock in the morning as the limit, if you wait until the time comes, you will no longer have the idea of ​​giving up, let him have no children and grandchildren, and let him go to hell, even if the whole world opposes it, even if it is here If he doesn't understand what love is, it doesn't matter if he uses means to get him. In short, he won't let go.

He has lived for 30 years and has always followed the rules. He makes plans before acting, and calculates gains and losses before doing anything. He has never been so crazy.

The evening wind blows, and the night is much colder than the day. Because of Christmas Eve, the streets are brightly lit, as bright as day, and there are more couples than before. Those holding roses, hugging each other, dangling in front of our eyes.

It is impossible for two men to go shopping hand in hand like those couples on the street, embracing and kissing unscrupulously, but only the person concerned knows whether they are happy after choosing this path, so what qualifications do other people have to make unreasonable comments?

In fact, what can we do if we wait for Yang Qitian?He may still reject himself, and such waiting may be meaningless.But anyway, after doing this, he will feel at ease, and he will be worthy of his feelings.If you don't work hard for fear of failure, that's not Yang Jin, that's a coward.

Never has it been more determined than it is now.

Yang Jin knew that if he didn't tell Yang Qitian what was in his heart today, it would be impossible in the future.

He took out the carefully preserved safety talisman from his briefcase, and never imagined that there would be a day when he would personally give it to him. As soon as he put the safety talisman into his trouser pocket, another No. 62 car drove over.

The car stopped steadily, and saw the familiar face through the window.It was Yang Qitian.

The headlights made Yang Jin's eyes sour and almost shed tears.Of course it was the headlights shaking, nothing else.

I didn't know how to get into the car, my legs were not my own, my mind was in a mess, my IQ soared to 250, I was thinking about what to say to him, and walked in in a daze.

"Get in the car, please go inside, there is a seat inside..." The stylized voice obviously stopped after seeing Yang Jin, and Yang Qitian looked directly at Yang Jin in surprise.

Yang Jin was defeated by this kind of gaze, and quickly lowered his head and walked inside.That gaze followed him all the time, it was so hot that it could shoot a hole out of his body, he felt that Yang Qitian had something to say to him.

Yang Qitian also really spoke.

"Hey, you didn't pay me!"