Pavlov and the White Moonlight

I feel violently dizzy.If Tang Shuhe comes out at this time, he will definitely find out that I am abnormal.Just like he fell in my arms that day, I bent down and covered my mouth and nose.

There was no one in front of the funeral parlor.The man and his wife went in, or left.I have no idea.The woman in the fur once spoke to me sentence by sentence, and at first I could focus on her scarlet, chapped lips, but then I couldn't.The north wind howled, rolling a layer of fine snow on the ground, a piece of concrete in front of me, and a piece of salt.

Those words went in from my ears, passed through my mind, and were blown up to bits and pieces. The words and the articles couldn't be written. There was new snowflakes falling in front of my eyes, and a cruel town that could never turn back.

"Did you take it directly to some school? The wall is so high and there is a net on it. I don't know if it has electricity or not..."

"Two or three months... came out."

"Something went wrong, kid, something went wrong when you came out."

"...I only watched the surveillance. That video is always in my mobile phone. It's too uncomfortable."

"...From the arms to the chest, it was black and yellow. I saw it when I took off my clothes. I didn't know until later that it was an electric shock. Oops..."

"I seem to be taking some medicine? The tuition fee is not covered, and the medicine I paid for later... I think it will be good if I take it."

"Press it on the ground and beat it...After the beating, fill a bowl of water and continue beating. It's not over if you don't spit it out. In the row of beaten children, some vomited water and some vomited blood."

"Kicked a rib..."

"In the winter, let me squat under the faucet..."

"How many beatings did you get... Later, Xiaohe even hid the clothes drying rack and rolling pin at home, lest he see it."

"When I saw it... it seemed like I had a heart problem, alas."

"It's not on the surveillance, they don't do this in front of the surveillance, that's...Xiao He said it himself."

"After raising it for a long time, one day I finally went out. That night, I came back very late, smelling of alcohol... put the knife on his father's neck... was pulled away by his mother..."

"Chop it down according to your own wrist... and say it while chopping..."

"It was said that the school could be cured, so it was sent, but this has not been cured..."

"Two of the kids in his class became monks, and one jumped off a building after being released. A girl came out and chopped her mother 36 knives..."

What did I do?What did I do?

I actually kept vigil for his father.

I actually showed up at his father's funeral.

I just bowed three times to his corpse.

His body may not have finished burning yet.

The horror of the nightmare coming true hit my head all of a sudden.My mind was buzzing and buzzing, and I thought for a while that it was really him, it turned out to be like this, it was really like this, how could it be like this, fuck it I should have hacked him to death on the hospital bed, I saw him He should be hacked to death on the first side, and after a while, I thought about whether it was right or not. This is not true, maybe that woman added fuel to the picture, I have to ask him, I have to ask him——

I couldn't stand anymore, it was as if a long knife stabbed left and right in my body, I tried my best to suppress my panting, and I kept gritting my teeth unconsciously, he was dead, I was almost burned to ashes, everything was gone It's too late, no, it's not too late, I—

"Brother Huai."

When his face appeared in my line of sight, I didn't react. Tang Shuhe seemed to be taken aback by my expression. He froze for a moment, and patted my shoulder lightly: "Why, what's wrong?"

Tang Shuhe, mine.

I was suddenly in a trance.He is so thinly dressed, why is he so thin.

How come, he turned out to be 26 years old.

The moment I looked into his eyes, I woke up as if I had been slapped in the face—no, no.I can not.I can't make trouble at the funeral, he is very tired, I can't tell him at this time, it's too exciting for him, it will hurt him.

I stared at him blankly.

I touched it suddenly.Gently touched his face, and slid all the way down his outline.

Do you feel pain, Tang Shuhe?

Like a blind man, I touched his browbones, eyes, ears, neck, and shoulders as if I was seeing him for the first time.

real, warm.

He looked at me in confusion, grabbed my hand, covered it, and said, "What's wrong, your hands are so cold?"

"It's okay." I heard myself say, "Your uncle and aunt are not a thing."

He didn't speak, and acquiesced.I said, "Why are they saying those things, white eyebrows and red eyes."

Tang Shuhe tilted his head to look, leaned over, his expression was a bit cramped, as if he was speaking ill of someone behind his back for the first time, and whispered: "My grandma gave my dad a lot...heirloom gold jewelry, bracelets, rings, etc. , now my mother keeps it, she has no brothers and sisters, my father has only one younger brother..."

"I see." I said.

It's impossible to eat.Now that Tang Youwen is dead, both parents are gone. If Tang Shuhe breaks up with his mother again, and his mother dies in anger and doesn't leave any inheritance to Tang Shuhe, his uncle and aunt will fight again. Other inheritances are likely to fall to them.

Tang Shuhe pursed his lips and said, "So they want you and me to hate my parents to death, and I'll leave with you to cut ties with them..."

"You can come with me. This matter does not conflict with your mother." I said.

He froze for a moment, dazed, looked at me for a long time, and made a single sound of doubt from his nose.

I leaned over and kissed his lips lightly.

His lips were pale, cold and soft, and the moment they kissed, a new snowflake melted.

At this moment, I didn't expect that I would be so heartbroken.I put my hands in my pockets, smiled at him, and said softly, "Don't worry. You...you can go back with me, whatever you want, I'm here anyway."

"You..." He smiled hastily, almost terrified.After a while, he raised his hand in a daze and rubbed his lips.

With a certain look of surprise, joy, and disbelief, his eyes turned red all of a sudden.He quickly wiped his face with the back of his hand without blinking his eyes, and said, "Brother Huai, do you forgive me, do you forgive me?"

The turbulent bitterness forced me to turn my head.

"What's the matter," he whispered, "how suddenly..."

"Is it Mr. Tang?"

A staff member of the funeral home called him behind us holding a registration form, probably feeling the delicate atmosphere between us, smiled a little awkwardly, and said, "I'm sorry."

Tang Shuhe shook his head, took the registration form, lowered his head and glanced at it in a hurry, and then immediately looked at my face. The anxious expression made me feel a little regretful - I shouldn't have lost control and kissed him just now on this occasion. Too many and complicated, and I can't speak well.I pinched the back of his neck and said, "You do your work first. We... wait until the afternoon banquet is over, and we'll talk about it when we go back. Don't worry."

Tang Shuhe reluctantly nodded, took his watch and walked into the hall, and when he reached the door, he poked his head out and said, "Really, go back and tell me in detail?"

That demeanor was so familiar that it made people trance, suddenly it seemed as if nothing had happened, I just stood downstairs in his house and held hands with him for the first time.I stood there and waved at him: "Yeah."

"Don't lie to me," he said, "please."

I smiled, tears were about to fall: "Yeah."

He scratched the hair on the back of his neck, turned and went in.

The cremation ended shortly thereafter.We sent Tang Youwen's ashes to the cemetery, and then drove to the hotel to prepare the banquet. I adjusted the seat angle for Tang Shuhe, made it flat, pulled down the sun visor, and said, "Go to sleep for a while."

He was half lying on the co-pilot, his coat covered the lower half of his face, only his eyes were open.The road from the cemetery to the hotel is not too short, I wanted to let him rest for a while, and reached out to cover his eyes: "Sleep for a while."

He grabbed my wrist.

I said, "You're not tired, you've been running all morning."

He lowered his eyes and kissed me lightly on the inside of my wrist.

Me: "... Hey."

He smiled, his eyes brightened.

He hasn't had such bright eyes for a long time.

Feeling sad for a while, I turned my head away.After a while, I heard him say: "Tomorrow...well, tomorrow. I'll take you to see my psychiatrist, okay?"

I paused and said, "Okay."

He was a little half-joking, and said under cover: "Then you should be mentally prepared."

I was so choked up in my throat that I couldn't speak, so I suppressed it and said, "Okay."

There is a hall in the hotel where the funeral banquet is held, and purple and black veils are hung everywhere.During his lifetime, Tang Youwen had little relationship with children and had few friends. The invited guests sat at a few tables sparsely, and everyone was silently playing with their mobile phones or waiting for food.As usual, Tang Shuhe, as the only son in the family, was going to read a eulogy speech. The black curtains in the hall were drawn, and the room was darkened, and the small stage was still lit. I looked at the funeral master of ceremonies shining in the darkness, and thought to myself It's so damn black humorous, it feels like the romantic big flowers used for weddings will turn around in the next second.

Tang Shuhe walked up when the dishes were almost passed around.I put down my chopsticks and looked at him.At this time, my mobile phone on the table suddenly turned on. I looked down and saw that it was a multimedia message sent to me by a stranger.

My heart sank, I subconsciously felt something was wrong, and I didn't want to read it, so I put the phone away. After a while, I really couldn't let it go, so I picked it up again, and clicked on the MMS.

is a video.I realized what it was the first second it loaded.

A surveillance video.

It was the kind of old-fashioned monitoring in the early days... the resolution was not very high, and the frame dropped occasionally. I saw a bench with a bunch of machines next to it, and the wires were piled on the ground. Opposite the bench was a TV. What to say, after a second or two, five or six people walked into the room pressing a young man with a restraint belt.

They pushed him down on the bench, re-bound him with the restraint straps that came with the bench, picked up his clothes, and wrapped some tape around his upper arms, chest and thighs where the clothes could cover. piece of stuff.The boy was very thin, he was struggling all the time, struggling hard, kicked away the two people holding his legs several times, someone slapped him a few times, his head just tilted like that.

The person next to the monitor bowed his head and said something to the young man, and he started yelling, shaking his head in horror, his facial features were distorted and blurred together, the video did not capture his delicate face clearly, I know he has a pair of moon-like eyes .

"On behalf of the whole family, I sincerely thank you all for coming to see my father off in the snow and sharing the grief with us..."

My hands and feet raised my head numbly. Tang Shuhe was dressed in filial piety, with a thick layer of black gauze sewn on his arms and chest. He slightly held the microphone with one hand, and his expression was calm.

"Thank you to all the relatives and friends for your care and support during my father's illness..."

The teenager in the video collapsed, from kicking frantically to begging for mercy.There was no sound, and his mouth was saying no, no, please.

No no, please.He slammed the bench behind him hard with his only moving head.

"My father, Tang Youwen, was upright and upright all his life. He was serious and reticent. He was a good person in society, a good husband and a good father in the family..."

The man in the video presses a button.

My hands trembled more and more. The moment the boy on the bench opened his mouth wide and trembled violently, my phone slammed and fell to the ground.

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