Abandoned Lover [Future]

This is Eugene and Shaw's third year at the Long Stars.

"Lily, you can go back today." While packing up the flowers, Xiao turned his head and said to the girl in front of the entrance counter, "Remember that tomorrow is a two-day holiday, so you don't need to come here."

The girl nodded and looked up at the sky outside the window.But at three or four in the afternoon, the sun is still high, and this kind of early closing is rare in Ssuna.

"Are you going on a trip? But it's still early in winter..." Lily asked subconsciously.

"I have a very important friend who wants to come to see Eugene. Thank you today too." Xiao closed the open signboard, smiled at Lily, and walked towards the workshop.

Inside the transparent door, Eugene was chatting with a customer.The other party is the hostess of the local farmhouse, who sometimes comes to the door because of the failure of agricultural equipment. This is not the first time Xiao has seen her.Today, however, she brought a little guest with her - her youngest, who was not yet a year old, was cradled in her arms with a pacifier in its mouth.Now the boy is shaking and stretching out his hands restlessly, as if he wants to crawl out.

Realizing that her son's hand was about to touch Eugene's workbench, the woman quickly took a step back.However, most of the little explorer's body had already hung out of his mother's arms, and with the inertia of retreating, he was about to fall top-heavy.Just when the accident was about to happen, Eugene leaned over quickly and lifted the boy up.

"It's dangerous." Eugene exhaled, smiled at the mother who was still in fear, and wanted to hand the child back.With a slap, the wet pacifier fell to the ground, and babbling laughter sounded from between his hands.The small animal raised by him seemed to find it interesting, its little hands and feet patted each other softly, and danced happily.

"This child..." The woman patted the boy on the forehead angrily and pitifully, and looked at Eugene with gratitude: "He seems to like you very much, do you want to hug him?" ?”

Eugene was startled.

...Xiao stood outside the door, watching Eugene hold the human child in his arms, shaking it clumsily but carefully.He was still talking to the woman, but he couldn't help but look back to his chest, looking at the child's smiling face.

It was something he had never seen before, Eugene's eyes and expression.

A strange panic spread from the bottom of Xiao's heart, but he couldn't immediately judge the origin of this feeling.The scene in front of him was becoming unbearable, the cyborg stepped into the automatic door and knocked on the glass curtain wall.

"...Eugene." He swallowed uncontrollably before saying the next sentence. "It's time. Their boat is an hour to Flintstone."

Hearing this, Eugene turned his head to look at him, his eyes widened slightly when he saw his expression, and the remaining smile in his eyes slowly dissipated.

"Okay," Eugene told him, "I'll be right here."

……

"You guys really picked a country place." On the flying boat, Carl clicked his teeth while looking at the field at his feet outside the window. "There's not even a general-purpose port, isn't this even..." The elderly but still burly and energetic old man seemed to want to say something, but he swallowed the words when he spoke.

"Not as good as New Athens?" Behind him, an 11-year-old girl coldly helped him complete the sentence: "But at least the people here are not dead."

The atmosphere suddenly became awkward, and Karl's daughter Zola hurriedly pulled the girl's sleeve: "Mia, is this the attitude you should talk to grandpa?"

The girl, who was as tall as her mother's shoulders, didn't say a word, and looked away expressionlessly.Zola's other daughter, Mina, who is only six years old, now carefully pulls Zola's skirt, begging in a low voice: "Mom, don't quarrel with sister..."

Eugene lowered his head, not knowing what to say for a while.

——In the war three years ago, New Athens, where Karl and Zola's family lived, became a veritable dead city after being thoroughly bloodbathed by Sagrand's guns and mechs.

The Karl family was able to escape because they originally planned to come to Shatas to participate in the festival, but they failed to make the trip under Eugene's persuasion.The two girls were still reluctant to go on a trip, so Karl and Zola simply took them to the mine star where Zola's husband was.Such a decision saved the family's life. Although the mine star area was in chaos during the war, it was not directly burned by the flames of war.In the past three years, although Acropolis has been gradually rebuilt, the Karl family has stayed in Mines and never returned.

Carl, who had a beer belly, was not angry when his granddaughter responded with such a sentence, but was a little at a loss.The old man raised his hand and put it behind his head, and slowly grabbed his hair, and only let out a "hey" after a long while.

"...Because it is a rural place, Cooper Town has very good pastures and farms." As if not affected by this atmosphere, Xiao calmly accepted Carl's words: "The most famous light ale beer in the entire Long Star is From here, we can just taste it at dinner."

The stiff atmosphere finally melted away little by little, and Cooper Town under their feet was pillowed in the peaceful twilight, silently looking up at the group of visitors.

……

On the dining table in Eugene's house, Carl drank beer quickly and gulped, but he didn't stop eating and chatting: "To be honest, hiccup, I always thought that light malt was for girls, but this one Weier, it's damn good. You made this pie? It's perfect, it's perfect."

"Karl, don't drink too much, this is already the second beer." Eugene reached out and pressed the top edge of his beer jug.

The old man shook his head and shook his fingers: "No, no, do you still remember my record back then? How much is it?"

"...Eleven." Eugene sighed helplessly: "But then you and everyone drank all night."

"Anyway, there's no need to worry." Carl sniffed. "Speaking of which, after you moved here, did you still have contact with the people on the ship?"

"Myers has been here a few times before. He... gave me a small ship, saying that it was Basil's previous intention." Eugene smiled with downcast eyes. "When I'm free at the end of the year, I should go back to the ship to see everyone."

"It's good, he wants to open it too, and you're living a good life, look at the flowers all over the mountains and fields in front of and behind this house." The old man shook his head with great emotion, then slightly changed the direction of his eyes, and his tone became irritable. The foreign language has a long heart: "So, people have to look forward, what is there to overcome? No matter how big a problem is, looking back, it is just a trivial matter. As long as a person is alive, he can always..."

Squeak.This is the sound of the chair legs dragging on the ground.At this moment, Mia stood up on the table, staring at Carl's face: "...it's unbelievable."

Under everyone's surprised eyes, the girl put down the tableware, turned around and left the table, and strode into the room beside her.The door was closed heavily, and mother Zola's expression changed instantly, and she rushed to the door furiously.

"Mia Bernard, get out of here!! This is not your own home, if you want to go crazy, send me out!!"

"Zola, forget it, don't yell at her." Eugene held her back.Looking at Zola's red eyes, Eugene whispered to Xiao who was beside him: "...help Zola get a glass of water, and go see Mina too, don't let her be frightened."

A faint sobbing sound came from behind the door, Eugene hesitated for a moment, and said to Zola, "I'll go and persuade her."

"Persuade her? How to persuade her? No one knows what's wrong with her!" Zola's voice was trembling: "I lose my temper anytime and anywhere, do we owe her?"

"Don't say such things." Eugene lowered his voice, turned around and knocked on the door: "Mia, can I go in?"

There was a silence.The girl finally spoke in a hoarse voice: "...This is your home."

……

The room the girl hid in was the guest bedroom that Eugene and Xiao didn't use often, and now only one side light was turned on.Mia sat on the edge of the bed expressionlessly, lowered her head and wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

"Sorry to trouble you. I'll review." She didn't look up as she spoke.

"I want to know why you are angry more than asking you to review." Eugene squatted down by the bed with an arm's length away, looking up at her. "Because of what Carl said? You don't agree with him?"

The girl wiped away the last tear from the corner of her eye with her thumb: "There is no need to explain to you. Anyway, if I tell you, you will just say that I am making a fuss. Everyone is like this."

"Why don't you give it a try." Eugene's voice was very calm, without any tendency to show excessive favors: "The worst thing I can say is that you are making a fuss out of a molehill."

Mia sat in silence while Eugene waited for her.The hands around the girl's knees slowly clenched, and after a long, long time, she finally opened her mouth.

"...For three years, none of them pretended that what happened at that time never happened."

"No one wants to bring it up, and I'm not allowed to talk about it. As long as this topic is mentioned, it's like 'Okay, ok', 'It's all over', 'What's the point of talking about this now'."

"But so many people died?"

"All my classmates, teachers, friends, neighbors, are they all dead??"

"Why don't adults want to look back? How can they forget so quickly??"

"Don't they feel sad when they always talk about looking ahead!

Tears of unwillingness fell from the girl's eyes and hit her knees, and she held her skirt tightly.

Eugene looked at her hands.

"...Yes." He answered her. "Will do."

The girl received an unexpected reaction at the peak of her emotions, and she paused for a moment.

Eugene turned his gaze to the ground in front of him.

"But being sad doesn't change what's happened, so we 'adults' get used to not thinking about things that make us powerless. It's like we don't want to admit that we are weak."

"If Carl had the ability to change the past, I believe his answer would not be 'look forward', but 'give it to grandpa'. Because no one wants to be helpless and watch their children feel sad."

"It's a pity that we don't have an option other than to move forward, so we say these words to comfort ourselves."

"We pretend we've actively chosen it."

"So you see, adults are actually a very cowardly existence."

The girl's tears were still falling, but the anger in them was slowly being replaced by bitterness.

After a long time she asked him: "Then why are you different from them?"

Eugene took a deep breath and tried to smile: "...Because I am very similar to you, I am a person who is particularly difficult to move forward."

"The war you mentioned was fought by me. I still think about it from time to time."

"But people around me never urged me to go out."

"He's just been there for me, telling me he understands how I feel. Telling me to spend as much time as I want on it."

"So I understand that to make a person really move forward, what you need is not urging, but understanding."

"I wish I could help you a little bit."

The girl catches her tears with the palm of her hand.Eugene reached out and stroked her head lightly.

"Although Karl is a very imperfect adult in your eyes, I am sure that he loves you very, very much."

……

After reassuring the little girl, Eugene opened the door, feeling as if he had hit a wall head-on.

The tall Karl stood outside the door, his eyes and nose were red, and the beard at the corners of his lips was wet. Eugene couldn't tell whether it was beer or tears.Gently closing the door behind him, Eugene patted the old man on the back helplessly: “Okay, Carl, it’s not like you.”

Carl shook his head, speaking with a strong nasal voice: "...I am not as good as you, Eugene. I am very confused when it comes to parenting. I was like this when I was educating Zola before, and I am still like this now."

"Okay, okay, do you want to drink beer? I won't stop you this time." Eugene turned his head to look in the direction of the restaurant.Xiao carried Mina on his shoulders. He was chatting with Zola, but now he met his eyes.

"No, I'm serious, Eugene. You'd be a good father." Carl's voice became unusually serious. "You, like Gogo, will raise excellent and upright children."

Xiao looked in their direction.

"You also... want 35, right? It's time to seriously think about it."

"Don't you want to spend your whole life with just the two of them?"

"I... Let's talk about this matter later." Eugene raised his hand and patted Carl's shoulder, carelessly passing the topic.Zora gave him an apologetic smile, and Xiao slowly lowered his head.

……

That night, the four members of Carl's family stayed at Eugene's house.When it was time to go to bed, Eugene and Xiao lay on the bed in the bedroom, and Carl's loud snoring could still be heard clearly beyond the two walls.

I wanted to let out a helpless sigh in my heart, but such a voice really rang in my ears.Xiao rolled over beside him and turned to the side with his back.

"Xiao?" Eugene turned his head to look at him, and reached out to touch his arm. "What's wrong?"

The biochemical man was silent for a while, then turned to his direction, stretched out his hand, and took him into his arms.

This posture put Eugene's face against Xiao's chest.He wanted to raise his head to see Xiao's expression, but the other party gently pressed his head.

"Eugene." He heard Xiao ask. "Do you want children?"

Eugene's body paused: "Why do you ask so suddenly?"

"Just want to know the answer."

"...I didn't really think about it."

"yes."

It was difficult for Eugene to judge the emotion in this sentence, but subconsciously, he felt that he could not easily let this topic end.

"Give me some time, and I'll tell you after I think about it?"

Xiao nodded.

He didn't ask Shaw the same question.He felt he already knew the answer.

……

Humans have an instinct to reproduce, just like all other animals.The impulse engraved in the genes urges them to mate, multiply, and continue their offspring from generation to generation, reaching an end that no one can see.

This is something that he, the machine, will never understand.

Xiao was lying on the bed, Eugene fell asleep in his arms, and his eyes were open, facing a void in the darkness.

Before today, he had never thought about "children".This option never appeared in his conception, because it was far beyond his natural existence.And when he realized that Eugene might "want a child", his first reaction was not only fear and anxiety, but also a strong hostility that he couldn't deny.

——He didn't want Eugene to have an intimate presence on par with himself, to share Eugene's time, attention, and love openly.After it arrived, he couldn't even compete with such a thing, because in the human concept, children are vulnerable, need protection, and need priority, and his reaction can only invite confusion and hatred.

But what can he do?He is such a selfish, indifferent, and unable to empathize with the role of "parent" - a machine.

It's a relationship he'll never get naturally.

Could Eugene really love it if he had a child?He might work hard, try to love the half of Eugene in that child.But what about the other half?Who was terribly lucky to have a human creation with Eugene without even knowing about him?Just the thought of it drives him crazy with envy.And what if, what if it was a child who had nothing to do with Eugene?No, this situation will only get worse—he has exhausted all his efforts to grab a place beside this person, why is another human being who has not put in any effort at all able to stay in Eugene with the favor of fate? around?

He didn't want to share the only thing he had.

Yet even if his answers and inclinations were already apparent, there was only one thing he was pulling at the other end of the scale.

——This afternoon, when Eugene looked at the child in his arms, the expression on his face was so happy.

……

Two days later, Carl and the girls left the long star.Xiao was still silently cleaning up the mess left by the girls in the bedroom, and Eugene knocked on the door frame.

"I have considered the answer I said before."

Xiao straightened up and nodded.From this reaction alone, Eugene knew that Xiao must have been thinking about this matter repeatedly in the past few days, and he didn't even need him to remind him to talk about something.

"It's actually not that complicated. You don't want a child, do you? Raising a child is a decision between two people. Since you are not happy, there is no point in discussing this matter in the first place." Eugene made his voice sound as relaxed as possible , now leaning against the wall, smiling at Xiao with arms folded: "And you are too easy to understand, right? When you came to the workshop to pick me up last time, your face was full of expressions that you didn't want me to be snatched away. You need to be so scared ?"

Such rhetoric, however, did not have the desired effect.

Xiao turned around and looked at him calmly.

"That's not my question, Eugene."

"The question I'm asking is, do you want to have children."

"Can you say you never thought about it?"

Eugene opened his mouth, but couldn't speak immediately.

Xiao smiled at him, looking gentle and sad.

"Carl's right, Eugene. You'll be a good father. I know that better than anyone that those you love will be happy."

Xiao breathed slowly, maintaining his smile.

"People like you deserve a big, nice family."

He paused for a moment, as if he had finally gathered up his courage, before he spoke the next sentence.

"...I just can't imagine myself being a part of it."

The biochemical man moved his gaze back to the ground, swallowed silently, and then returned to a smiling state.

"Honestly, I don't know how to share you, Eugene. I don't know how to love other people. But I can live with it...I can try to learn."

He raised his right hand, pinched the wrist of his left hand, and slowly lowered his head.

"I don't want to take away the possibility that you should have in your life because of me."

"You should have seen the look on your face when you faced that kid."

Xiao's voice became lower and lower.

"...I'm afraid that no matter how hard I try, I won't be able to give you equal happiness."

Eugene stood opposite him, his chest heaved slowly but obviously, and he slowly clenched his hands.

"Yes, I've thought about it," he said.

Xiao nodded slowly, with a self-deprecating, expected smile on his face.

"When I see someone else's child, my first thought is, if only Xiao and I could have a child."

"I hope he's like you. Then he'll be smart, gentle, and pretty. I'll love him very much."

Xiao still lowered his head, resting his palms on his eyes, and didn't speak.

"But I don't need that kind of thing to make me happier, because when I'm with you, I never feel unsatisfied."

Eugene's breathing sounded a little heavier, and there was some tremor in his slightly raised voice.

"Stop saying you're taking away my possibilities. I don't want to hear that from someone who gave me everything."

"And don't say I'd be a good father, because wouldn't you be the same? Even Mina likes you that much, does that mean we have to accept the role?"

He strode towards Xiao and took the other's hand.Those hands were trembling slightly.

"Since you can't imagine being part of some big family, imagine living with the two of me."

"That's enough for me."

"All I need is you."

……

The arms embracing him nearly broke his back, but Eugene loved the pain.

Weak and wavering, Shaw looked more human than usual, which he liked as hell.

In his ear, Xiao Zai repeatedly murmured apologies, looking a little embarrassed and flustered.From their chests touching each other, he could feel the fast beating heart of the other party, which was quietly revealing secret joy to him.

Eugene closed his eyes.

——You have never tried to change me, nor have you asked for anything from me, Xiao.Didn't you realize it?

——You just accepted me completely, and then gave me the most generous love in your so-called selfish and exclusive way.

……

The photo wall in the living room is gradually becoming full.Eugene chose a location he thought was suitable, and showed the photo frame in his hand to Xiao behind him.

"Five millimeters higher, level to the right/tilt 3 degrees." The biochemical man immediately gave his answer.Eugene glanced back at him, raised his hand and threw the photo frame over: "You come."

Xiao Xinran took over and fixed the photo frame in the correct place flawlessly.

On that photo, Carl stood at the end, hugging Eugene and Shaw's shoulders like a hill, with Zola's hearty smiling face between them.The younger Mina was held in Xiao's arms with one hand, and she was gnawing on her thumb absently, while Mia in front of Eugene turned her body slightly and raised her chin, showing a girly smile like a breeze.

Before the photo, Eugene stretched out his hand and slowly shook hands with Xiao's.

——Let’s keep creating memories like this.

——Belonging to the two of us, memories of home.

The author has something to say:

This is a side story that I have always wanted to write, I hope you still like it.

感谢在2021-02-0520:49:16~2021-02-0723:37:11期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the grenade: sleepy 1;

Thanks to the little angels who threw mines: sleepy, seven or nine 631;

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 15 bottles of Limu; 10 bottles of Changchuan Yanhe and Sancun Guangyin; thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!