Retire from the human world

Cooking is a skill that really depends on talent. Some people can have a good color and taste after learning it casually, and some people can make scrambled eggs with black charcoal.Cooking the dumpling wrappers requires skill. When the water boils and pours them all out, they will only form a paste and turn into noodle soup, and the middle part will definitely be half-baked.

Shen Dong didn't eat at noon at all, and he dared not enter the staff canteen of Shanhai.com even if he was beaten to death.Who knows what a bunch of non-humans eat every day?

While he was busy, he couldn't help stretching his head to look out.

The 46-inch TV is still hung on the wall of the living room, and the natural scenery channel is played on it. There is a cliff with many lush plants growing on it. At the bottom of the cliff is a river, and the river is covered with a thin layer of light. fog.

The TV was on, but there was no one at home, and Du Heng wasn't there at all.

How did this TV get into the house?Even if you buy it on the spot, at least you have to wait for delivery and installation!Just so bizarrely flew to the wall and stayed there?I hope the landlord will not be shocked to death when he comes to collect the rent...

Although he told himself in his heart that Du Heng probably bought this TV set with absolutely no good intentions, Shen Dong was still absent-minded, and his curiosity kept running up, instigating him to change the channel to see if there was a beauty pageant in the cultivation world. Or "how to deal with zombies in a hundred ways", this kind of thing is not harmful to learn!

"The workmanship is not bad."

A voice suddenly appeared behind Shen Dong.

Using a kitchen knife to cut a pile of dumpling wrappers into thin strips so they were ready to be cooked, Shen Dong was startled. The kitchen knife chopped onto the chopping board. These are the landlord's belongings that are rented out together with the house.Shen Dong frantically identified whether the knife marks on the inferior cutting board were deep or not, and turned his head angrily: "Where did you come from?"

"Of course he came in through the door." Du Heng said nonchalantly without blinking.

On such a hot day, Du Heng was still neatly dressed, his hair tucked into his collar was not messed up, his white shirt was ironed very refreshingly, and there was not a single drop of sweat on his forehead.It seemed that he was still staying in an air-conditioned hotel, not in this sweltering, shabby house.

"Don't fool me, I didn't even hear the door unlocked and shut upstairs!"

"How you go out in the morning is how I come back now." Du Heng sat down on the chair at the door of the kitchen, looked at the kitchen knife in Shen Dong's hand with a strange expression, and the rice cooker with a pot of water boiling.

Shen Dong was choked. He did run out like a thief this morning. After thinking about it, he became aggressive again: "Don't change the subject, what's the matter with the TV on the wall in the living room? I flew here by myself? Don't pay!"

"You don't need to pay, you just have that little salary."

This is being despised!Shen Dong was very annoyed, picked up the cutting board and poured all the dumpling wrappers into the rice cooker boiling with boiling water, a white mist rose and the kitchen became even hotter.

It didn't take long for a large bowl of steaming noodles to be scalded, poured garlic sauce on it, pulled a pair of chopsticks, brought the bowl under the electric fan in the living room, Shen Dong started to eat without any hesitation.

Well, looking at the pleasing pictures of green mountains and green waters on TV, even the heat of the scorching heat dissipated a bit.

"What are you looking at... I want to eat myself!" Shen Dong felt that the way Du Heng looked at him was extremely strange.

"Need not."

Glancing at the steaming noodle soup, and seeing Shen Dong's eating, Du Heng finally turned his head to watch TV.

"You have so much money that you can order takeout! You can choose KFC or Pizza Hut... In fact, you might as well go to eat by yourself. Fast food restaurants and pizzerias have air conditioning, which is much cooler than here..."

"I don't need to eat."

"...Or you think those are junk food... What? What did you say?" Shen Dong almost bit his chopsticks, and looked at Du Heng suspiciously, "You said you don't need to eat? You don't need all three meals a day?"

"Correct."

"Fuck, how much money will I save every month!"

"..."

Shen Dong lowered his head and continued to eat the noodles, snorting vaguely: "Why, do you think I will be surprised? Would you say it's impossible? Tsk, let me tell you, there are too many of these messy things in online novels, what about building a foundation? Bigu, Mahayana crossing the catastrophe and ascending...Actually, you are deliberately popularizing science and cultivating common sense in the world!"

Broken pot!Who is afraid of whom? Anyway, even if Du Heng said that one out of ten people is a monster, Shen Dong would definitely pretend that he didn't hear it. What does it have to do with him?

Du Heng seemed a little surprised, turned to look at Shen Dong: "Are you not interested?"

"Me? I don't want it!"

Shen Dong ate very fast, and in a blink of an eye there was only half a bowl of dumpling skin left. He stirred the soup bowl with chopsticks, and said casually, "As long as you are a human being, no matter what you become or where you are, you have to fight each other. Cultivation sounds very powerful, but what about the time? It is said that it will take decades to retreat. If I can’t practice it, my life will be useless! A good life, even if you can’t just wait for death, you can’t waste it like this. Whatever it is, it’s a good idea , it’s still very Taoist, it’s not as real as a bottle of Coke.”

"I thought you would like Pepsi." Du Heng was very calm, without blinking.

Shen Dong almost sprayed it, coughed for a long time: "You actually know Pepsi?"

Du Heng seemed very dissatisfied with this statement, he frowned for the first time: "Shanhai.com is a supermarket."

"Yes, I understand, a supermarket that sells human goods!"

After finishing the noodle soup, Shen Dong put down his chopsticks heavily, and said angrily, "But can you tell me, why did you come to live in my house when you are so powerful that you won't starve to death even if you don't eat? What a treat!"

Du Heng never planned to tell Shen Dong the truth, but when he was asked suddenly, his eyes still fell on the little civet cat squatting by the table.

The little guy was lying on the ground, yawning while touching his belly with his paws.

——Indeed, there is such a thing as being born into the world when one becomes enlightened, and the number of days and fate is unpredictable. Perhaps Shen Dong's existence is a wonderful opportunity, although until now I haven't figured out what the meaning is.There are tens of thousands of paths to Taoism in the world, but as long as you practice Taoism, you must not violate your original heart.According to Shen Dong's own thinking, there is nothing wrong with living a simple life. When he grows old and dies, he will probably wake up.

60 years is a lifetime for ordinary people, but it is nothing to Du Heng, and he will not afford to wait.

But there was a strange obsession, it didn't appear when he first saw Shen Dong like this, but last time—that is, Shen Dong said that he wanted to hang around casually for a few more years, and then go back to the county to get married—to Jian For Xiu, hearing this is like a mortal hearing a cell phone that was finally found and said to himself, it doesn't bother to talk to you, it just wants to find a woman to marry ==

Shouldn't one be made when making swords, but two swords should be made?

Du Heng leaned back slightly, his eyes fixed on a certain place in front of him, obviously in a daze.Shen Dong put away the bowls and chopsticks and threw them into the kitchen sink. When he came out, he saw that Du Heng was still the same, and said angrily, "Hey, it's fine if you don't want to talk about it, but have you seen enough of this 'please enjoy' scenery? Change the channel." Ah, I remember there was an NBA live game today!"

"...This TV can't receive normal channels."

Shen Dong was so embarrassed, he reached out his hand to wipe off the sweat from his head, ran to the bathroom to wash his face with cold water, and then dragged the stool to the door, this was the furthest distance, there was no way, the TV screen was too big to see .

Then he looked down at the remote control.

It looks black and long, similar to a normal remote control, but it is very heavy, and there are no protruding buttons on it. The surface is smooth and flat, which can be used as a brick.There are no Arabic numerals, and all the characters are... By the way, the ones engraved on the stone tablet!Who will use this remote control?

"You guys produced this TV yourself?" It must be!

"How is it possible? The cultivation world only knows how to make magic weapons, so how could they build such things?"

"You dragged a normal TV over here and remade it yourself?" Absolutely!

"No, these are the scrapped daily necessities or defective products of human beings. Trade them in for new ones, pick up the broken ones, send them to the Mohist sect for refitting, refit them with remote controls, and hand them over to Shanhai.com for sale. Otherwise, how could they only sell for 700 yuan? ?”

"..." Cultivation world, you have won!

"Besides, these commodities are hard to sell, and if the price is high, no one will care about it." Du Heng glanced at the TV, and he found that Shen Dong was indeed a little slow. He still didn't realize that the TV hanging on the wall was not connected to the power supply at all. , and no plugs.

"why?"

Shen Dong was surprised, isn't a TV a must-have in every household?Or the cultivation world is more advanced, and TVs have been completely eliminated and computers are used?

"Except for some ghosts with shady mansions and talented monsters, other monks will spend tens or hundreds of years in seclusion. Who has the patience to watch TV? Often there is only one TV for each sect, and the sales are of course not good. !"

"..." This, can this be said to be out of low-level interest?

After Shen Dong complained for a long time, he asked again: "I don't understand. If no one is watching, and the ratings are not high enough, how can the TV station make money? Isn't it that people who make movies and TV series are losing money?"

"There's nothing like that in the world of comprehension. The TV programs are all about idle monster monks." Du Heng walked over, took out the remote control from Shen Dong's hand, and stared at it for a long time. pondering.

"However, there are a few foreign channels that will show some movies and TV series made by humans."

"What, there are international channels?" Shen Dong almost bit the tip of his tongue.

"Why not? Ghosts are not only found in China. Buddhism originally came from Tianzhu... There is also Europe, what is it called? It's a bit like our zombies. They like to drink blood but don't eat raw meat..." Du Heng continued Consider the remote.

Everything produced in the cultivation world has one characteristic: there is no manual! !

"Vampire?" Shen Dong replied blankly.

"Ah, yes! Their TV stations like to broadcast hundreds of episodes of soap operas most! They think that human beings are not filmed enough, and they even wrote and acted their own sequels."

Du Heng finally understood how the remote control was used. He stretched out his finger, pressed one of the characters, and drew a strange pattern on the surface of the remote control. Because before in the supermarket, Shen Dong only cared about watching the horror on the TV screen. The program, I didn't notice how the little boy changed the channel at all.Looking at Du Heng's actions now, Shen Dong couldn't help squinting - is this really a TV remote?Not a touchscreen phone unlock step?

It's still that kind of extremely complicated, you have to turn N turns!

"This is a talisman..." Du Heng seemed to know that Shen Dong was staring at him, and said without raising his head, "Each TV station has a different talisman spell, and you can only switch channels by pouring mana into it."

——Understood, you have to be at home to watch this broken TV! !It's just rubbish!

At this time, the TV screen flashed, and a scene like a European court banquet appeared, with tutu skirts and small lace parasols, ornate feather fans and hats, magnificent pillars and crystal chandeliers.As for the logo, it is a wine glass with half a glass of red liquid in it.

"This is Yu Kun's favorite TV series. I watch quite a few episodes every day."

Shen Dong looked at it suspiciously for 5 minutes, and immediately froze: "What's the stick in those guys' hands?" Don't tell him it's a magic wand!

"The vampire filmed the famous British novel from hundreds of years BC to the beginning of the story, and there will be more than ten years of follow-up, with [-] episodes of the history of goblin wars and [-] episodes of Holy War..."

"..." Strigoi, you have won!