red dust under the lamp

Xu Liwen came again, wearing a sea blue striped shirt and loose denim wide-leg pants, with his hands in his pockets and raised his head to call Ning Jue from under the window. Go out, light a cigarette and face down to respond: "Come and listen to me answering you? I can't wait to wait - I've made up my mind, I don't want to reconcile with you, go back."

"So unfeeling?" Xu Liwen frowned, watching Ning Jue drooping a cigarette, shaking the ashes on the awning.

"You don't know me yet? Go back quickly."

The window was closed, and Ning Jue stubbed out the cigarette. In fact, it was smoked for Xu Liwen. At that time, people said that women who smoked were charming and ruthless. Ning Jue was cleaning the house for others, listening to the men and women discussing on TV, and could not help being affected She really wanted to tell Xu Liwen that she was ruthless.

The people below looked up pitifully, Ning Jue simply closed the curtains.

Pull on, she suddenly thought, is it too much?In Xu Liwen's eyes, as if he cared about him, he hurriedly pulled away. Where is Xu Liwen's shadow downstairs?

There were hurried footsteps bang bang bang in the corridor, and every time they hit the ground, the steps were big and heavy, and there were several bangs.

"Open the door!" Xu Liwen knocked on the door unceremoniously, at first he sounded like a debt collector.

Ning Jue was not afraid of debt collection, so he rushed out holding the cigarette, opened the door with his left hand, and was ready to give him a cigarette stick with his right hand at any time. When he opened the door, Xu Liwen took a step back, looked around, looked She poked her head around the furnishings in her room, and then suddenly laughed: "Give me a chance."

"You want a chance like this? I have a thin door, and if I knock again, I'll make a hole for you." Ning Jue accused unhappily, pointing a cigarette at the tip of Xu Liwen's nose, "You are so shameless? Discord No peace."

"But I love you." Xu Liwen said.

"Shameless and skinless, what do you like or not, bah!"

But when people say "I love you", it's always like someone pricked their tailbone, and their whole body trembles. Only then did Ning Jue realize that he had said something wrong, and hurriedly added to himself: "I don't love you, this is the truth ——You are also famous now, and all you know are celebrities. I sweep the floor and do housework for others, and my face will soon be eroded by oily smoke. What do you want from me? What do you love me for? Nothing more It was at that time that I dumped you, and you were not reconciled. Hey, in this way, I promise you to reconcile first, and then you dumped me hard, shall we make it clear today? "

She gave Xu Liwen advice, although she spoke sincerely, but her usual mocking air filled the lines, and she couldn't even tell the pros and cons. Xu Liwen stood blankly for a while, with his hands clasped at a loss as to what to do.

After smoking a cigarette, Ning Jue kicked open the bathroom door with her toes, drowned the cigarette butt in the toilet, took a towel from the wall and gave it to Xu Liwen: "Wipe your sweat, it's sweaty this day, I didn't make things difficult for you."

"Wang Yu, Wang Yu, why are you like this?" Xu Liwen was a little helpless.

"What? I've always been like this. Do you like that rural girl Wang Yu? I'm not. I'm a rat in the city. I lied to you when I said that." Ning Jue couldn't help laughing for a while. , she felt chills all over her body, last time she said she was a mouse, she told Xie Yichen, and now her relationship with Xie Yichen is half clear, she knows that Xie Yichen likes her, but Xie Yichen doesn't know her feelings, and she has nowhere to say , I didn't intend to talk about it, so I just kept stuffy in my heart, like a puff of smoke that passed my lungs.

"But I love you." Xu Liwen would only repeat this sentence.

Ning Jue looked him up and down for a long time, and finally shook his head: "I don't love you."

"I don't mind."

"Really?" Ning Jue asked him again in a mocking tone, until he became angry with embarrassment, hugged Ning Jue, carried her on his shoulders with momentum, rushed to the back room, and threw her on the bed.

Ning Jue's eyes widened: "You don't mean to rape me, do you?"

She was the first girl Xu Liwen had ever seen in his life who said this so blatantly, as if she didn't care.

Ha, Ning Jue will speak loudly, Ning Jue has not changed, how could it be like this?Xu Liwen felt uneasy. His journey from Pingdu to Haijing was bumpy and difficult. He saw that everyone only loves money. Money is money. Without money, it is difficult to move. Without money, the crew cannot start work. Without money, no one looks down on him. , Without money, there is no way to meet powerful people, this era is full of money, even if he is popular, he still has to invite this to dinner, treat that to dinner, and be embarrassed by this boss—how did people become like this?Why did everyone change?

When he was in Pingdu, as long as he had friends, he was like a fish in water. Even if he wasn't the most eye-catching on stage, he was still indispensable. Why are all big cities like this?Even Ning Jue, even Ning Jue, paired up with the big boss for money, and even he didn't love him anymore.

What's going on here?At the beginning, Ning Jue, who was so poor, would give him 500 yuan, and accompany him to Haijing wholeheartedly. Isn't this love?Why did everyone change their appearance when they went to a big city?

Xu Liwen felt grief and indignation, he wanted to find something certain to place his lost soul, as if hugging Ning Jue crossed a certain boundary, and she would belong to him again - but how did Ning Jue become like this.

He stopped by the bed, staring blankly at Ning Jue, who was lying on the bed sprawled out without even struggling.

But Ning Jue began to exert strength, hitting the hammer of despair on his head.

Listen to what she said, she said: "If you want to go, just come, remember to give me money."

She also said: "What do you think I am? It's not the first time for me. I wasn't a chick when I was ten years old. Do you think I haven't seen the world? Come on, solve it early, and we will break up. "

What surprised Xu Liwen was not whether it was Ning Jue's first time, but that Ning Jue asked him for money.

Money, money!

He is already a rich man, so why should he be hurt by money?He could have thrown a lot of money at this bitch's face, but he was at a loss. Ning Jue was no longer the Ning Jue he knew, and had been changed by the money—his face was ashen, and he was frozen by Ning Jue. Jue held Qicun, unable to recover for a long time, his face was gloomy.

Finally, he yanked out the wallet from his trousers, splashed all the cash, and splashed it all over the bed. He confronted Qian and Ning Jue in a three-way confrontation. Who was his enemy?What is he in love with?what happened to him?

He suddenly came to his senses, he was never such a person in Pingdu.He never hits girls, never kneels down, and he doesn't force others, everything is calm and orderly——Since he left for Haijing, he extravagantly thought that he would be a star, and now his dream has come true. but lost.

Ning Jue picked one up casually, and he shouted angrily, "Don't pick it up!"

Deliberately annoyed him, Ning Jue put away one by one, Xu Liwen was stimulated by this humble and shameless action of picking up money, Ning Jue was completely unlike the one he knew, what's the point of all this?What's the point?

In the crowd, he always organizes activities and makes arrangements, but he is too lonely to leave Pingdu.

Laughing dumbfounded, he laughed at himself for only realizing it now.

Ning Jue picked up the money, made it into a pile, and handed it to him leisurely.

He took it, put it in his wallet, and looked around Ning Jue's room. It was like waking up from a dream. He suddenly realized that he was not still in love with Ning Jue, but just wanted to reminisce about his former self. He was mediocre, Good looks, bad luck—it doesn't matter, what matters is, is he still him?

Ning Jue is not Ning Jue, and Xie Yichen is not Xie Yichen,

Li Juanjuan is not Li Juanjuan either, the few in other places have all gone their separate ways, completely changed, and he is different, but he doesn't want this, he wants to go back, he wants to be young, he wants to be gentle and calm——

"I'm going back to Pingdu—" he announced halfway to Ning Jue, and suddenly realized that he didn't have much relationship with Ning Jue, and he didn't have any position to explain, so he smiled and shook hands with her.

"You know... When you gave me money and asked me to treat the director to dinner, I should have thought that everything in this world is made of money, and I have experienced some things. How should I put it, I have been extremely tired all the time. Well, being a star is not my specialty, I don’t know how to act, I was scolded as stinky shit in the newspapers, and I had to spend money to buy some advertisements to promote myself, in the end—”

He still couldn't help but confessed to himself for a moment, Ning Jue smiled and kept his face silent.

Xu Liwen suddenly recalled what Ning Jue said, and looked at Ning Jue again: "Is it true that you were ten years old...?"

"It's nothing." She smiled and hugged her knees to watch him count the money from his wallet. He counted out 500 yuan, thought about it, and then counted out another [-] yuan to her.

"Repay yours. There are loans and repayments."

"Not bad." Ning Jue didn't hesitate, took the money, and watched Xu Liwen turn his head and walk away.

The guilt is faint but fleeting, and it's her who tricked him into going to Hae Kyung with an unrealistic dream, to the big city.

It seems that Xu Liwen is a tree rooted in Pingdu. When he goes to other places, he is not acclimatized. Once he wants to go home, he finally washes away the dirt and becomes pure. Unlike her, she has no home, and she is always the same wherever she goes. Herself.

For the first time, she felt emotionally relieved. Fortunately, Xie Yichen found her first, enlightened her, and briefly rescued her from her blind pursuit of being loved—otherwise she and Xu Liwen would have an extremely embarrassing quarrel.

After a short period of less than three days of peace, until Boss Kong’s car was parked downstairs, she finally remembered that there was another man who was chasing the dream of the past and mistook her for a sign of youthful years and asked her to make a movie. In the process, maybe he will be defeated by his dream and ask her to sleep with him instead.

People always sink in dreams, great, mediocre, glorious, shameful, collective, self-destructive, hurtful, congenital, acquired... all kinds of dreams turn into ideals A layer of skin wraps the flesh and blood of all mankind.

But it doesn't feel bad.

It was herself, and it was Xie Yichen who woke up and reminded her, so she woke up too.

But if it wasn't for the dream, she couldn't hug Xie Yichen desperately.

Woke up from the dream... Being loved unscrupulously by Xie Yichen, it is impossible to fulfill my dream.

Open the window and look down at Boss Kong downstairs with his arms pillowed on his head.Her window can always wait for someone she doesn't love, so she looks coldly at the man with his hands in his pockets under the window, and the man raises his face.

She smiled recklessly and waved her hands: "Don't worry, Boss Kong."

"Have you considered?"

"I've made up my mind." She closed the window and went downstairs, Boss Kong opened the door sideways.

"So, I'm a 'Kong girl'?" She joked about herself, looking out the window, Boss Kong said, "I never thought you would agree."

"What if I don't agree?"

"I will always find a way." Boss Kong smiled, and Ning Jue breathed out towards the car window, and did not speak for a long time.