Died Before the Wedding

Afterwards, all my quarrels with him disappeared.

He is still the same as usual.

Don't mess with right and wrong, live step by step, like an old cadre.

Except for the whole class, everyone had to take a detour when they saw him.

It was as if the words "not to be messed with" were pasted on his face.

……

I think it's amazing when I'm with him.

I can't help but think of something to say, but he listens quietly every time, the expression on his face is as flat as ever, he never speaks nonsense, and every reply hits the nail on the head.

I tried to make waves on his face, to get back to me, as if it were a daily challenge.

I want to be close to him, I want to do everything related to him, read the books he usually reads, understand what he likes to do, work and save money to buy him something, although he never asks for it .

I especially like this feeling.

……

I don't know when I changed from liking this feeling to liking him as a person.

It may be that time when Tyndall's light was suddenly released in the cloudy sky, and when I rushed to the point, he was waiting for me there.

Or one time I went to study with him at night, and I really couldn't go back before the door was closed. When he took me into his dormitory to stay overnight.

I am very impressed.

It was a bit cold in his dormitory, everyone was busy with their own business, and when they entered, they could only hear the sound of typing codes.

He changed into a very large black vest, which complemented his fair skin, and his figure was thin, making him look a little fragile.

He said, do you want to eat fruit?

I suddenly came back to my senses and said, okay.

So he unscrewed two cans with his bare hands.

I think I must be crazy, my heart beats inexplicably faster, and I can't get my eyes on him at all.

I saw him see the muscular lines of his stomach and arms, and see his slender eyelashes flutter now and then.

When we shared the same bed, I could smell the fragrance on the back of his neck.

Terrible.

I tried my best to stay away from this dangerous smell, and pretended to ask him casually, senior, you smell so good, what brand of shower gel is it?

He said he didn't know, his mother bought his toiletries for him, and after he recognized a brand, he would keep buying them.

I remember that night clearly.

With his back to me, my heart is going crazy, and I have to fight the heat inside so that I don't kiss his hair, or bite his neck hard.

I understood something incredible and irreversible.

I may, like a man.

A certain desire made it possible for me to clearly separate this feeling from friendship.

If Lin Chu found out, what would he think of me?

I don't want to think about it.

I went to learn about this field by accident, and even secretly went to the hospital for a routine blood test.

Now that I think about it, it's ridiculous and childish.

This person unknowingly took root in my heart, until his every move could affect my whole heart, I knew I was hopeless.

……

I told him that day, I like you, Lin Chu.

Can you try it with me.

He was silent.

When people are in the second stage of middle school, they always feel that they are not afraid of heaven and earth, and stand upright.But at that moment I was terrified.

I think what to do if I can't even be friends in the future.

I think even if he ignores me, I will stick to him with a dead skin.

I want to find a reason to treat this as a joke, like a bet my roommate and I played...

Then he said yes.

I feel like I'm dreaming, I actually pinched my thigh and still feel like I'm dreaming.

It wasn't until he took the initiative to kiss me, and we hugged and entwined for a long time in an empty corner of the restaurant, that I pulled out of my sluggishness.

I don't think I'm dreaming, this temperature is real, it comes from this man.

I'm crazy with joy.

Go back and catch my fleeing roommates and hug them one by one.

……

I had sex with him for the first time, the very next day.

I really can't wait, so inexperienced, young and reckless, I want to possess him, brand him, and let those school girls who covet him know.

This belongs to Xie Chenmin, no one is allowed to move.

If he hadn't warned me that he would beat me if I dared to leave marks, I would really have implemented this crazy and childish idea.

He didn't say anything for the first time, I asked him if it hurt, he just frowned and said you go on.

It wasn't until he finally couldn't help the wet corners of his eyes that I knew that I did a terrible job the first time.

He has always accommodated me.

It always has been.

So much so that I have a feeling that if there is no such person, what should I rely on.

……

Before I opened my eyes, my mind revolved through the memories of me and him.

Every moment is fleeting.

Only when we first started, it was very, very long, so long that I could even clearly feel my mood at that time.

It's always good to have more good memories, to give me a break from the reality that I've lost him for a while.

But people always have to look forward, and dreamers will wake up one day.

I think I still have to live on.

The day I was discharged from the hospital was sunny, Zhaocai came to pick me up, wagging its fluffy white tail, and arched my legs.

I said, go, buy sausages to eat.

He barked.

Mom was still worried, so I apologized to her and promised that I would never have these bastard thoughts of committing suicide again.

That day I led Zhaocai, it went to visit the kitten, mom went to visit our dad, and I went to visit you.

Our family is really ill-fated.

……

……

Lin Chu, Chu.

I have finished reading your diary.

I listened to you and read it day by day for five years.

It's not my fault, it's your fault.You have a lot of articles, just one sentence passed, I couldn't help it, so I... read a few more articles.

I'm doing pretty well now. I quit my job and became a freelancer. I write articles every day, contact planning and so on. .

My three roommates planned to start a business together, so they pulled me over to make up the numbers.

Now our company is doing well, it's just that the boys in the program department occasionally do something wrong.

They joked that if you were the head of the department, we would be three or four times stronger than we are now.

I'm making enough money to support myself and my mom and the little things in the house now.

I picked up another kitten from the street, but the temperament of this follow-up treasure is so different, I thought I raised two Erha.

Except when I was not around, these two worked together when they demolished the house together. They would grab food and make a fuss when they almost met.

It made the house very lively.

What's more, I became a "father".

Didn't expect?

I recognized the female driver's child as a goddaughter, they mother and daughter, I think I can do what I can

Give them a hand.

At first, I had a really good time.

I'm trying to adjust to life without you, don't worry about me.

At first, I miss you.

But I still can't forget your look, your voice.I can no longer find a significant other who can accompany me.

Forget it, I still have my mother, a daughter, a cat and a dog, and I'm not alone at all, and I'm not in a hurry to find another partner.

In the early days, I spent five years making tea, and your parents finally let me in for a cup of tea.

I think if I continue to grind for a year or two, I will probably be able to completely change my mind.

Haha.

……

At first, there are more and more kind people in this world.

I compiled our story into a novel and posted it on the Internet. I didn't expect it to be quite popular.

Lin Chu in it lived a long life.

Xie Chenmin inside still likes Lin Chu very, very much.

early……

……