Years old

Qin Di's grandfather passed away within two years after having his little grandson, leaving behind only his wife who kept fighting with Qin Yuan for the family property, and this old house where every room is very cramped .But this is Qin Di's home, and he has never left since he was born.

He owns several square meters, just enough for a single bed, a desk, and a wardrobe.Although these three pieces of furniture looked absurdly small when he grew up, he could still look up at a small piece of blue sky and the flowers blooming season after season at the door of the barber shop when he opened the window.

What exactly is the definition of home?Is home like him with a eaves to shelter from the rain and a stove to cook?Or should it be full of laughter and quarrels, plain and loud?He remembered that when he was a child, he used to read a book called "Home" when he curled up next to the radiator with only a little bit of heat. At that time, he only recognized the characters ahead of time, but could not fully understand the meaning behind the words.The family in the book broke up in the end, but Qin Di was inexplicably envious, because their family had a lot of people before they broke up.He turned to the last two pages. Someone came in from the door that someone had forgotten to close. It was a strange aunt who looked around the house and asked him in surprise: "Is there no one in your house?" The small bench next to him stood up. He wanted to say that I was from the family, but he pursed his lips and nodded under his aunt's gaze, and replied: "No."

Unexpectedly, the word became a truth.

When Jiang Hong left, he didn't know.Obviously he was the one who wanted to escape the most, but endured the erratic beating of his heart and the constant numbness all over his body, he clung to the end of the bed, using the slightest strength to prevent Qin Yuan from going back and forth.However, Jiang Hong left without saying a word.Just like that day eight years ago, when Qin Yuan left, Jiang Hong followed closely behind.Qin Di spent a lot of effort growing up, but still could not escape the fate of being abandoned by both parents.

The sudden movement in his chest was forced out of his teeth by a wave of paralysis. He stepped on the white light in the living room, clenched his fists, and kicked hard towards the door.

Qi Songyan wasn't sure if his parents were acting on a whim, or because Aunt Shen mentioned that today was his second model day, so he appeared at the dinner table.But a family of three sits together and cares about each other. Although there are elements of acting to some extent, it is not very difficult to shift the topic to the meal and expand a few words.

But when Qin Di called, he didn't think so.Although he tried his best to restrain himself, Qin Di's voice was still trembling: "Qi Miao, I'm downstairs at your house."

Qi Songyan didn't say much about the second sentence, just said "wait for me", and rushed downstairs under the suspicious eyes of his parents.

Qin Di was sitting on the flower bed obliquely opposite the unit door, and by the light on the first floor, he was not wearing an orange down jacket, but a thick hoodie with a zipper, huddled in a gray-blue mass in front of the snow-covered bushes , Seeing him coming, he didn't get up.

Qi Songyan ran over a few steps and squatted at his feet.The broken expression on Qin Di's face couldn't put together a complete clue, but Qi Songyan was convinced that something happened to his family the moment he saw him clearly.He raised his hand to caress Qin Di's cold face, and after thinking for a long time, he said, "I'm here. I'm staying here today. Is there anything else that needs to be done besides this?"

In his gentle inquiry, Qin Di hastily grasped the warmth of the bone on his cheek, and breathed out a billowing white mist: "I may, need to go to the hospital."

The wound on the back of his hand has not been treated at all, and the dried blood splattered abruptly on the skin. Even so, he still remembers sending the blood-stained orange to the dry cleaner when he left home. lost the last money on him.

Fortunately, the wound was not too deep, no sutures were needed, it was sterilized and bandaged, and a tetanus shot was given.The doctor on the night shift was a warm-hearted aunt, and she complained nonchalantly while dealing with it: "Why are you so careless, what a beautiful little hand, what can I do if you have scars! You can't touch the water a few days ago, come here every two days to change the gauze." In the past, Qin Di would definitely bend his bright eyes to thank him, but today his distraught is all on his pale cheeks and lips, paler than the frost and snow on the ground.Qi Songyan followed closely beside him, advancing and retreating for him, "Thank you doctor, I'll definitely take care of it, please excuse me."

When she walked out of the hospital, a corner of the copper-colored Emei Moon appeared eerie.Qi Songyan wrapped Qin Di tightly with the long down jacket he took out from home. Qin Di didn't speak, but only looked up at the arc moon. under the tongue.

Qi Songyan embraced him, escaped into the shadow at the foot of the building, and held him tightly in his arms through the down jacket.

"Simply put, let me know."

Qin Di clenched his hands into fists on his heart, and was flattened by Qi Songyan. He tried his best to swallow the excess emotions, and tried his best to speak calmly: "My father went home, and the three of us made a move. I drove him away. Yes, my mother is gone too, I don't know where she went, the injury was done by myself... It's gone."

Qi Songyan's heart tightened for a while, full of obscenities, he didn't know where to pour them out, he took a deep breath, and stroked Qin Di's hair. "Have you eaten yet?"

Qin Di nodded, tears dangling in his eyes, but never fell.

Qi Songyan didn't dare to kiss his eyes again, and took his hand: "Let's go, let's go home."

When he got to the door, Qi Songyan told Qin Di that his parents were also at home.Qin Di immediately wanted to turn his head and leave, but he really had nowhere to go, so he could only bite the bullet and enter the door.When his face was revealed under the porch light, Qi Songyan's parents exchanged a veiled look, but they still greeted enthusiastically: "Come in quickly, my son will bring you slippers."

Qin Di changed the muddy shoes, took off Qi Songyan's down jacket and held it in his hands, and bowed slightly to Qi Songyan's parents: "Hello, uncle and aunt."

"Hello, Xiaosong said that you haven't eaten yet, and you didn't prepare anything today. They are all home-cooked dishes. Just now Xiaosong ran out in a hurry after eating half of it. I warmed it up again. You two can eat together."

"Thank you, auntie." Qin Di looked at Qi Songyan who took the down jacket, thanked him but didn't sit down, waited for Qi Songyan to put the clothes back into the bedroom and then sat down with him.

Qin Di, who is usually down and down and generous, huddled in front of the dining table, and couldn't even hold the chopsticks well.Qi Songyan raised his head and said to his parents: "Why don't you go and rest, and we will eat by ourselves."

Dad Qi leaned on the back of the chair and poured a cup of tea, "No hurry, you eat yours, we and..."

"My name is Qin Di."

"Let's chat casually with classmate Xiao Qin."

Qi Songyan frowned, and wanted to say something more, but felt Qin Di gently press his knee under the dining table.

Qi Songyan's mother answered, "Yes, you rarely bring your classmates and friends to your house. Qin Di, why did you hurt your hand? Did you fight?"

Qin Di looked down at Xuxu's left hand that was supporting the rice bowl, and replied softly: "It was accidentally scratched, Gang Qi... Song Yan accompanied me to the hospital for treatment."

"Ah, Xiao Song said that there is something wrong with your family, how are you doing now? Is there anything we can do for you?"

"It's all right, thank you uncle."

Qi Songyan gave him two bites of food, and he nodded his head habitually, his whole body on guard.

Qi's father also poured Qin Di a cup of tea, and Qi's mother pushed the cup over and asked, "What do Qin Di's parents do? What neighborhood do you live in?"

Qi Songyan looked up at his parents who were deliberately ignorant of current affairs, but no one cared about his agitation, only Qin Di who was sitting next to him held down his knee again, ate the food Qi Songyan gave him, and put down his chopsticks.After being interrogated so impolitely, he put aside the bewilderment he felt when he first entered the room, and looked at the two people across the table without any emotion: "Both parents are ordinary workers, and there was a little conflict today. I was injured by accident again, because I am friends with Qi Songyan, so I asked him for a favor. I didn't know you were at home, sorry to disturb you so late, dinner is ready, thank you for your care, I will go back right away."

What he said was neither humble nor overbearing, but it made the two elders a little embarrassed. They reluctantly moved the corners of their mouths and looked at each other. Qi Songyan's mother got up and grabbed Qin Di's elbow: "Then don't leave, who doesn't have any conflicts?" Now, let the adults settle their own affairs, isn't there another exam tomorrow, so you can live with Xiaosong tonight."

Qin Di stopped her retreating steps at the right time, and bowed to them again kindly to thank them.Qi Songyan interjected, interrupted the conversation, led him into the bedroom, came out to pick up the bowls and chopsticks, and secretly carried some food from the kitchen back to the room.

When he came in, Qin Di was sitting on the bay window lost in thought, crossing the river in the night, looking at the lights on the other side.Qi Songyan sat over, but Qin Di didn't look at him, and asked in a faint voice: "When you call me, do you always sit here and look at the other side?"

Qi Songyan put down the arm that wanted to hug him, picked up a pillow and put it in his arms, "Well, almost every time. It's a pity that the floor is not high enough, otherwise I could actually see your house."

"But Qi Miao, I don't have a home anymore. Just now my aunt called me and said that my mother ran to her place and cried for a while. Finally, she said that she wanted to divorce my father."

"Then you, plan to follow mom?"

Qin Di smiled lightly, and the gray blue of night floated in his eyes. "Before I was ten years old, I couldn't remember how many times they quarreled about getting a divorce. Every time they put me in the corner and asked me who I wanted to follow. But when I was ten years old, no one wanted me. I was too I was so scared that I ran to the door almost every night to see if my mother’s shoes were still there. Later, I found out from watching TV that she must not let me go. This is stipulated by the law. Only then can I sleep soundly Whole sleep. Today, it’s finally come to this point, but if they divorce, they don’t even need to discuss my custody, because I already have.”

Qi Songyan looked at his side face, the tenderness wrapped in the old loneliness, every word seemed to be telling someone else's story.But Qi Songyan would rather him cry, quarrel, lose his temper, like his unspeakable parents, wantonly bursting emotions, the one who is strong and forbearing should not be him, isn't this absurd thing?Adults have the sorrow and helplessness of adults, but how much a child can bear.They are often good at discarding or imprisoning them as they wish, just because they believe that children are their gift as creators, and their power is large enough to manipulate their lives.He thought of his parents at the dinner table just now, and asked, "What do you think of my parents?"

Qin Di lowered his eyelashes, raised them again, and replied honestly: "It's good to look down on people."

"sorry."

"My evaluation is also ugly, so I'm not sorry."

"This is my family. They show up occasionally, and when they want to fulfill their obligations, they make all three of us happy with this feigned harmony. They never quarrel in my face, and they give me financial satisfaction. I don't I know how much their goal is to earn, but I can't say that it's just their goal in life and not mine. After all, I live on the pile of their achievements. I didn't have a complete family in the past. Concept, but the day you came to my house to cook, I suddenly felt that this is the home I want. I have good friends to play around, and there is a person I like to enjoy the fireworks in the world. The only regret is that this is not earned by myself. Money can buy houses and even vegetables and rice. I really wanted to ask you that day, if one day I could build my own life, would you like to quietly fold up the scattered coats on the sofa like now, like, this It's also your home."

He ended his speech with a deep breath and looked at Qin Di.

The gray-blue color in Qin Di's eyes had a clear texture, shimmering under the cover of the eyelashes.He squeezed his wrist tightly, and the corners of his mouth twitched strangely because of the muscle dilemma, "Qi Miao, are you proposing to me? Now is not a good time, and I will distort everything you say now into that you are Pity me, pity me, I can't hear any good intentions, because I am an abandoned child who is about to have a single-page account book."

Qi Songyan tried his best to ignore the sparkle in his eyes, and jumped out of the bay window, "Think whatever you like, take a bath, eat something, go to bed early, you have an exam tomorrow."

Qin Di turned his face away, and said decisively: "I don't want to take the exam."

"No such thing. Come down and wash up."

Qin Di looked back at him, the turbulent emotions just now turned into sullenness on his face, he raised his bandaged left hand, and said coldly: "I'm not in the mood."

Qi Songyan casually took a history book and threw it in front of him, picked up a political book and leaned against the bedside, "If you don't wash it, you can review it."

Qin Di stared at the book, his heart burned from his liver, scorching his lungs.The person who was still tender and affectionate just now turned his face quickly.I was thrust into the wall-breaking machine by the flying misfortune and twisted to pieces, bloody and miserable from head to toe. It was the first time I went to someone else, and I was questioned harshly for a long time, but in exchange I was forced to complete the exam.He simply didn't know whether he was crazy or Qi Songyan was crazy.

Want to cry?Pulling the hem of his clothes and pouring out his tiredness and madness, let him understand the hideous scars all over his body more clearly. Anyway, running like a stray dog ​​is already embarrassing enough. Feeling bad, and then pardoning myself for not completing some shitty mock exams.

But Qi Songyan seemed determined and ignored him.He can't cry out loud in a home with adults, and it's hard for him to stage a breakdown out of thin air.I could only shut myself in the bathroom of the second bedroom, avoiding the gauze-wrapped left hand under the gurgling water, grasping the intact right hand with the canine teeth, and went mad with tears mixed with sobs at a low decibel level.

He put on the pajamas Qi Songyan had prepared for him, but didn't drink the small bowl of hot oatmeal. He nestled beside the bed with a corner of the quilt, and just before his chest exploded, he suddenly exhausted and fell into the bed exhausted. sleep.

No one would have expected the first night in a bed to be under such conditions.Qi Songyan heard that he was breathing evenly, so he got off the bed barefoot, walked around in front of him, and squatted down.

Just like what Qin Di told him, the sleeping Qin Di curled herself up very small, with her knees together and squeezed against her chest, clutching the handkerchief in her hand.The ups and downs of the whole day, even in his sleep, he frowned, and the corners of his mouth, which was always full of smiles, were drawn down.

Qi Songyan stared at him for a long time, seeing his eyeballs rolling uncomfortably, his shoulders raised and closed in fear.He wanted to kiss away his tightness, lick his tightness away, and embrace his panic.But he was afraid of waking him up, and he was also afraid of waking up the coldness of his hard work.He could only carefully cover him with a quilt, then took out a blanket, nestled on the bay window, and said goodnight to him far away and silently.