I heard you still love her

The moonlight is like gauze, spreading the coolness of a room.

The temperature of the air conditioner is just right.

Yan Zhilan felt a little uncomfortable in the middle of her sleep. She stretched out her hand to pull her clothes, and half of her collar was torn off, revealing her moist and smooth shoulders and sexy collarbone. There seemed to be a honey color flowing on her slender legs. After such a big round of movements, Xiao Ruoyan's coat was still in his arms and did not loosen.

Xiao Ruoyan, who had been silently watching her awake all this time, swallowed instinctively. She lowered her head and subconsciously looked at her chest.This... when they separated, they were both eighteen. Why is she so much plumper than before... um...?

Looking at her unchanged chest, she was silent for a while, Xiao Ruoyan carefully covered her with the quilt.

Xiaoyan doesn't sleep well.

It used to be.

At that time, the heater in the dormitory was very hot in winter, but she had to find all kinds of excuses to get under Xiao Ruoyan's bed.

After all, there are boss and Lanlan in the dormitory. Xiao Ruoyan is thin-skinned and wants to refuse, but Yan Zhilan seems to be able to see through her heart. She turned to the boss and Lanlan and said, "It's really cold in winter. It's all cold, and the blood is blocked."

The boss patted the toner: "Let the second brother cover it for you."

Lanlan looked at the ipad: "You can go and sleep with her."

Xiao Ruoyan: ...

At that time, when the winter was long, Yan Zhilan would always curl up in her arms, and Xiao Ruoyan always warmed her feet carefully. Her noble hands, besides playing the guitar and composing, At most, it was to warm Xiaoyan's feet.

At that time, Xiaoyan would look at her tenderly, without blinking, and the soft light in her eyes overflowed.

She was gentle for a second, but when she fell asleep, Xiao Ruoyan would always be held between her legs, like a doll.

……

Separate these years.

Every winter, Xiao Ruoyan couldn't help but think about it.

How is her girl?

Are her feet cold again?

Will there be someone like her who can help her warm up?

While recalling, Xiao Ruoyan washed Yan Zhilan's clothes in the bathroom.

Xiaoyan's clothes are all in simple and elegant colors. In this regard, their aesthetics are surprisingly consistent, and they like lighter colors such as white and beige.

She carefully soaked her skirt and coat in the water and scrubbed them little by little.

After washing and drying the clothes, the cold moonlight had brought some morning light, sprinkled on Xiaoyan's body, her long hair fluttered on the snow-white pillow, she looked as beautiful as a fairy under the moonlight.She finally slept less painfully, her eyebrows relaxed, but her hands were still tightly holding Xiao Ruoyan's shirt, the smell reassured her.

Four in the morning.

Xiao Ruoyan received a call from Gao Yu.

Gao Yu has always been her "rumored boyfriend". He is male and his sexual orientation is also male.

The two met for the first time in a bar. Xiao Ruoyan occasionally went to the bar to earn some extra money. She drank at the bar when she was resting. At that time, his gay phone rang, and he watched Xiao Ruoyan sitting on the high chair alone, with loose hair, drinking wine quietly, she had a good temperament, tall and cold, just drinking alone No one dared to step forward.

Over the years, Gao Yu has become Xiao Ruoyan's good friend by virtue of his stalking and three-inch tongue.

Originally, Xiao Ruoyan didn't like his noisy personality, but he was a bit similar to Lan Lan in some aspects, he seemed to have known each other, and there was another one, at her age, even if she was far away from her parents, relatives and friends, there would inevitably be people in social places I want to be a matchmaker to introduce someone to her.

What's more, Xiao Ruoyan's appearance is eye-catching in the crowd. She doesn't need to be introduced, and she is tired of coping with all kinds of peach blossoms around her.

After having Gao Yu, although people would ask her in private: "Why is your boyfriend so motherly? When he walks, his butt is twisted worse than yours."

Xiao Ruoyan smiled faintly, noncommittal.

She only wanted to clean one ear.

Gao Yu has a boyfriend, they were together when they were in college, but now they are abroad, and the two are separated.

The two were also temporarily separated due to family reasons. Gao Yu would show off to Xiao Ruoyan with a smile every time: "We are far away from each other, but our hearts are always together. As long as we get through these few years and have financial conditions, If we buy a good house here, we will immediately go abroad to get married.”

Xiao Ruoyan was a little lost when he heard that, is it really that easy?

after that.

Many late nights, Gao Yu got drunk and cried earth-shatteringly at the door of her house. Xiao Ruoyan frowned and dragged him into the house like a dog, and threw him on the sofa, letting him digest it alone.

Love is something I can't explain.

Where there is happiness, there is bound to be pain.

Which is more and which is less, only the parties themselves know.

Xiao Ruoyan is not a patient person, all her patience was given to Xiaoyan, it would be good if she didn't get kicked out by him.

Even so, Gao Yu still entangled Xiao Ruoyan, always saying that she is a typical good person with a cold face and a warm heart, which is much more real than many people in today's society who say one thing and another.

Gao Yu is quite capable of making trouble on weekdays, and he is very reliable at critical moments. In the middle of the night, his voice was a little low: "Comrade Ruoyan, I asked my honey to investigate this time."

Xiao Ruoyan closed the soundproof glass door, and she stood in the night, listening quietly.

"I originally wanted to follow her up and investigate after she returned to China, but her family is quite powerful, and it seems that she deliberately concealed it. Could it be possible that you will investigate her in the future?"

Gao Yu's voice was teasing, Xiao Ruoyan turned around, looked at Yan Zhilan who was sleeping like a child on the bed, and said nothing.

"Then I can't help it. It's rare that you beg me, we can't lose the chain, right? My honey is still a little bit capable abroad, and I found some things. Well, after she went abroad, she was okay in her third year of high school. She went to high school in California, high school Life doesn't seem very happy."

Xiao Ruoyan's heart tightened.

They separated in their senior year of high school.

Yan Zhilan's father was very strong and quickly completed the formalities to take her abroad.

In the final parting, they only looked at each other from a distance, and when they passed by outside the teaching room, Xiao Ruoyan stared into her eyes and said in a suppressed way: "Graduate from university, I'll wait for you at the old place. "

……

in the dark night.

Gao Yu's voice was exceptionally clear, "I've heard you say about your girl before, she has a very gentle personality, but I don't know what happened to her when she went to high school there, she became taciturn, cold and hard to contact , as you know, she was originally a transfer student, and she was abroad, unfamiliar with the place...she..."

After pondering over the words, Gao Yu didn't hide anything, "She should have been bullied before, and I checked her admission record in her senior year of high school."

Xiao Ruoyan's heart was cut like a knife.

They separated just like that.

What happened to her Xiaoyan, she didn't know.

Gao Yu was ruthless, "A large area of ​​soft tissue was contused."

A line of tears slid down his cheeks without warning, Xiao Ruoyan's whole body became cold, and it was cold through the night.

"Ruoyan, are you okay?"

In fact, when Gao Yu got this information, he was also a little apprehensive, but his family said that since they asked her to check, she must tell her the result of the investigation.

Xiao Ruoyan wiped away her tears, and said in a nasal voice, "Well, it's okay."

Gao Yu felt distressed when he heard her voice, "Later... she was admitted to the Manhattan School of Music. My dear family said it was a miracle. He was curious to see her, saying that she must be a persevering people."

The original words were edited by Gao Yu.

His family choked up when he told him this information, "Honey, do you know? I can feel her desperate heart to fight for that glimmer of hope in despair. It's not easy, this girl It's not easy, it's too difficult..."

Gao Yu: "She should not have been bullied during those years in college, it was just the year she graduated from college—"

His voice paused, and Xiao Ruoyan's heart suddenly suspended, because of nervousness, her body trembled slightly.

After graduating from university, she waited for Yan Zhilan for a full year.

In one year, she went from full of hope at first, to anxiety, to grief, to resignation, to despair...

Although she has let go now, she still can't help but want to know.

why?

Xiaoyan, why didn't you wait for her.

……

"She may have a physical problem. She was admitted to the hospital. I couldn't find anything else. Later, I accidentally found a nurse I knew and said that I remembered that she had a blood transfusion. The scene was quite scary. It was all blood. She was very impressed. , it was sent by the family at night, saying that... she committed suicide."

—she committed suicide.

Xiao Ruoyan's blood seemed to be frozen, his whole body was cold, and his already broken heart was crushed into powder.

Gao Yu sighed softly: "We deduce that in the next year, all her information is blank, maybe she has been recuperating at home for a year."

Speaking of which.

The news that Gao Yu had grasped was cut off when Yan Zhilan returned to China.

Yan Zhilan's father was fierce, he didn't want people to find out anything, it would definitely not be found out.

Before hanging up the phone, Gao Yu said softly and rarely seriously, "She must have had a hard time these years."

Unconsciously.

Xiao Ruoyan burst into tears. She was called a cold-faced goddess by her classmates when she was in high school, let alone crying, she even seldom smiled.

But now.

She was squatting on the ground alone, crying so much that she had to cover her mouth with her hands.

no matter how cold the night is

Can't resist the coldness in my heart.

Every word of Gao Yu was like a knife, cutting fiercely in her heart.

It was riddled with holes and blood.

……

I cried until I couldn't keep my eyes open.

Xiao Ruoyan dragged her paralyzed legs and walked in. She sat down beside Xiaoyan's bed and looked at her cheek without blinking.

Yan Zhilan really lost a lot of weight, she noticed it when she was dancing together, the thin waist seemed to be broken with a single force.

After all, Xiao Ruoyan's hand landed on her cheek, rubbing gently, again and again, with the taste of tears.

finally.

That hand rested hesitantly on the string of scorching red beans.

When the two met again, Yan Zhilan took it with her. This bright red color was not her favorite color.

Xiao Ruoyan felt a little bit in her heart at the time, thinking that maybe it was a gift from her boyfriend. At this moment, her eyes were fixed on the string of bracelets, which were red as if dripping blood. Yan Zhilan was originally white. Against the background of the bracelet, the skin is like snow.

Stared for a moment.

Xiao Ruoyan took the bracelet off her wrist little by little.

——I've heard you say about your family before, she has a very gentle personality, but I don't know what happened to her when she went to high school there, she became taciturn, cold and difficult to contact.

——The shocking scene was full of blood. She was very impressed. It was sent by the family at night, saying that it was... She committed suicide.

——She must have had a hard time these years.

……

Gao Yu's words were in his ears, Xiao Ruoyan's mind was full of guesses, and finally, after the bracelet was taken off, Yan Zhilan's white and slender wrist was exposed.

And on that wrist, a faint but deep pink scar was impressively visible.

I don't know how much strength Yan Zhilan used back then, but now, although the wound has healed, the marks left are very deep, like a pale pink thread running through her wrist.

that moment.

That moment.

Xiao Ruoyan closed her eyes, the pain in her heart could not be described in any words.

Hot tears, perhaps just like Xiaoyan's hot blood back then, flowed from her body.

Xiao Ruoyan didn't know what kind of despair Xiaoyan had experienced to make such a kind person who loves life and life choose such a dead end.