private romance

Before the stars are counted, memories cover the night.

I don't know when I finally lay down.He had no sleep that night, but He Tingzhao slept well.Or maybe he is used to taking care of his lover. No matter what the two of them said, even if he was a little bit angry, he knew to turn him over to urinate and check whether the oxygen mask was in the right place.

Song Mingzheng got up before five o'clock, and couldn't sleep around, so there was no need to waste time.He is also used to staying up late, but he always has something to do, and he will not be only influenced by his emotions like he is now.

Today it was agreed to take Mu Chenyuan out for a walk, but Song Mingzheng was not at ease.Even though he knew that nothing would happen to He Tingzhao, he still couldn't believe that he just accepted death without any grievances. When persuading him to let go, he must be letting himself look away.

I really want to comfort you, but I don't know what to say, and I don't think I can.

Song Mingzheng sat at the end of the bed, lifted the layers of quilts, and revealed his paralyzed feet caught in many soft pillows.They were slender and soft, and Song Mingzheng reached out to fish them out, skillfully kneading the fragile ankles and acupuncture points on the soles of the feet.The lights in the room were not turned on, only the moonlight peeked through a gap in the veil, and intertwined with the shining medical equipment beside the bed. It was not bright, but it looked a little weird.

But Song Mingzheng got used to it, he could sit here silently and take care of He Tingzhao for several hours.Not anxious or irritable, this process lasted for ten years, and no one knew what kind of inner changes this silent man had, or whether he was always happy.But Song Mingzheng didn't think about these things, as long as he knew about many things, it was fine.

As long as his lover can sleep peacefully every night, it is worth his life.

After a person is paralyzed, he will not sweat, and all the reflexes controlled by the nerves will lose their function.Song Mingzheng hated the sticky feeling of sweat. In essence, he was a very clean person.But He Tingzhao's cold body didn't make him happy, it was as cold as a dead person.No sweat, no heat, no pain.Human nerves are actually repairing themselves after being severed, but the speed is extremely slow, so it is not true to say that the body is dead.Song Mingzheng always likes to pick these words very much, so that he can convince himself to accept that He Tingzhao can never move and needs to be taken care of forever.

No matter what He Tingzhao looks like, he can't give up, because of deep love, he hopes for the better of the other party.But now Song Mingzheng has nothing to ask for, and he just hopes that he can live.

After relying on his own temperature to temporarily warm He Tingzhao's skin from the outside.Song Mingzheng curled up those feet, put the soles like two small meat balls back into the quilt, and put the cushions on the soles of the feet again, so that He Tingzhao could step on them firmly.These things are actually useless to him now, whether they sag or not, even if the ankles and feet are deformed and bent into the shape of two hooks, it will not affect his life, nor his love for He Tingzhao.All the things he wished for his lover in the past didn't work. He shouldn't only care about these useless appearances.

Such a good time wasted in vain, maybe it will take the rest of my life.

Song Mingzheng stood up and went to the head of the bed after finishing these tasks, and finally checked the oxygen status.A few traces of saliva dripped from He Tingzhao's lips, he took a towel to remove the slipped ones, but didn't wipe the ones on his lips, for fear of waking people up accidentally.

A good night's sleep is the best thing right now, his darling.

Then he took a shower, and then went to the kitchen to make breakfast for He Tingzhao.With He Tingzhao as the center, Song Mingzheng calculated the time quite accurately, sometimes even down to the minute.Ten years ago, he began to gradually get acquainted with He Tingzhao's life after he was paralyzed in this time arc, and then learned to take care of his lover, so that he could balance work and deal with emergencies during these times. Taking good care of He Tingzhao is the first principle.

It's 10:07 and it will take 30 minutes to get the ingredients for this meal ready.Xiao Zhao basically wakes up between [-]:[-] and [-]:[-], simmers on low heat for an hour and a half, and waits until someone wakes up to eat.He still has a business in Chile that has not been processed, and the goods have been stranded in Santiago for three days. As far as work is concerned, this is already at the limit of Song Mingzheng, and everything must be done today.However, the local government of Sandia has not yet fully communicated, so he only needs to explain, but he also needs to have a general plan, which should take about an hour.Then he wanted to change his clothes to find Mu Chenyuan. The neighborhood is located in Dongcheng, far away from home. He didn't have time to accompany He Tingzhao to get up and feed. There is still time to help change a diaper.

Everything is exactly as he thought.

Song Mingzheng boiled all the ingredients into the pot at 35:5, returned to the study in 58 minutes, and calmed down to work. When everything was finished, he glanced at the time and found that it took [-] minutes.

Its daybreak.

He went back to the bedroom cloakroom to change.The face in the full-length mirror was expressionless, and he didn't do it on purpose, or because of his occupation.It's just that many times, he doesn't know why there is a smile in his life.But of course he knows when to be happy, only love is the happiest.

Otherwise, he would live like a robot, a walking dead without a soul.

Song Mingzheng went to help He Tingzhao change his diapers, and always wiped his lover's pale and weak skin with a warm wet towel.There was a ray of light shining on He Tingzhao's body from outside the window, and as he wiped it with his hands, the shadow also went up and down on the back of his hands, everywhere was what he thought was the gentleness of the human world.

He suddenly remembered what He Tingzhao said last night, asking him to find another person to accompany him.How did he say it?He said he was going to die.

He really will die.

Xiao Zhao, now I feel that maybe you really don't know me well enough.Otherwise, how can you say such a thing? Maybe you are using it to comfort yourself, and I shouldn't refute it.

But you should know, I thought you would know.

What am I like without you?A complete empty shell.In fact, you can't support my whole life. No one can fill another person's soul.But you supported most of my loneliness and embraced my original appearance that no one loves under this skin.

You haven't walked in over ten years, that feeling of not being able to move, baby, I know you're suffering.

Perhaps you feel that you are left with only your soul alive.

Then you look at me, we are together, we are a complete person.