I'm actually straight

*************I am the dividing line of 【Previous Life】************

Ye Shuwen knew that Wei Wen had been looking for him.

I remember that he had only joined the Hong Kong team for half a year before the World Swimming Grand Prix held by the FINA began. Unfortunately, he was not in good condition at the time, fell into a serious illness, and his performance dropped sharply.

In that year's grand prix, Wei Wen had the best scenery. He broke the world record at the time with a score of 100 in the 47.33 freestyle.

After the brother of the Hong Kong team who went to participate in the grand prix came back, he asked him excitedly if he knew Wei Wen, and Wei Wen specifically asked about his situation.

Ye Shuwen was holding the newspaper in his hand and said nothing, his heart was in a mess.

He didn't understand why Wei Wen was able to continue swimming when he was no longer interested in swimming, and why he was able to break through his shackles and win the world record.

what is this! ?

Are you sad, sad, and you are the only one who gets hit? ?

In Wei Wen's mind, breaking up with him is nothing! ?

Anger and jealousy distorted his heart. A few days later, Wei Wen came to the Hong Kong team to look for him. He didn't even meet him. He left Wei Wen alone for three days until he had no choice but to leave. Then he walked out of the swimming team from the pleasure of revenge. the gate.

Later, Wei Wen managed to find him through various means.

That day, he looked at Wei Wen who was sitting across from him blankly, and listened to the other party's painful and sincere explanation of the misunderstanding between the two of them, but he couldn't feel the slightest touch, and sat indifferently.

Up to now, the misunderstanding at the beginning is no longer important. What made him suffer is his own sinking. No matter how much he persuaded himself to give up all the things he used to be in the national team, he still couldn't get rid of it.He is like the shadow of Wei Wen, the more brilliant Wei Wen is, the darker he is.Seeing that Wei Wen is getting higher and higher in the world swimming world, he is not even qualified to replace the Hong Kong team.No one knew his despair. Once upon a time, he was so confident that he would reach the top.But because of a greed, he destroyed himself once.

He regretted it.

"If time could be turned back, I would rather not know you."

He said to Wei Wen, happily admiring the grief on Wei Wen's face, and never saw Wei Wen again.

This fear of his own despair nearly crushed him.

In order to live well, he began to avoid any news about Wei Wen, but it was not easy, as long as he continued to swim, the news about Wei Wen would keep entering his ears, passive, strong, occupying his life.

Gradually, he became less interested in swimming.

Hong Kong is a bustling city. It is not difficult to change your mood in such a city. It is easy to invite a few friends to play games in an Internet cafe, or go to a bar to kill time, and go to a disco every now and then for a stroll. Forget about some unpleasant things.

It is not easy for a person to maintain a simple nature, but it is easy to destroy a person. A lot of money in the family made him gradually go out of control. Fortunately, at the last moment, his mother couldn't bear it anymore and imprisoned him almost authoritarianly. Abandoned those cronies.

That time, Ye Shuwen almost broke down and yelled at his mother: "What the hell do you want from me! Ah! You are not happy that I learn to swim! I like men and you put me in Hong Kong! I really like women now, you Just lock me in the house! You control everything! From head to toe! There is no freedom at all! Why don't you stuff me back into your belly!!"

Mother Ye shook her body, but she couldn't hold back the tears welling up in her eyes.She could barely recognize the decadent son in front of her.

After that day, Mother Ye actually asked herself, is this really okay now?Can I be happy watching my son who has lost his sunshine and hope?Is this what you want?

the answer is negative.

She likes the son who is brilliant, can act like a baby, and always shouts "I just want to swim".

But that son is gone.

Mother Ye wanted to take Ye Shuwen home, but Ye Shuwen refused.In fact, he thinks that he has had a good year and found many interesting things. It is much better than swimming, and he is not tired. He eats and sleeps every day and just plays. What life is more carefree than the current life .

If Ye Shuwen didn't leave, Mother Ye didn't dare to force him away, so she simply cut off Ye Shuwen's pocket money, and just charged the living expenses to the coach's card on time every month to help pay for it.

After all, it is the Hong Kong team, which is much more relaxed than the national team, and it’s okay to have someone idle. Ye Shuwen can train if he wants to train, and just don’t show up if he doesn’t want to train. There is a cafeteria for eating, but he can’t go out to have fun anymore.

The idle life gradually squandered the last bit of vigor in Ye Shuwen, and many sharp and almost irreconcilable conflicts seemed to gradually stop causing him so much pain.At the beginning, Ye Shuwen would inadvertently recall the scenes of him sleeping with Wei Wen. From the initial disgust, to the later habit, until he began to search those memories deliberately to comfort himself, all the grievances and grievances seemed to disappear with the wind. up.

In fact, it cannot be denied that Wei Wen is the best lover. He is gentle, considerate, tolerant, humorous, and powerful. More importantly, they once truly loved each other and were happy. Those precious memories are like Like color photos one by one, it still makes people nostalgic and happy even today.

After the turmoil of right and wrong, after the precipitation of time, Ye Shuwen had to admit that he was missing that time.

Perhaps because he finally admitted this relationship again, Ye Shuwen also saw clearly his current depravity.

He suddenly realized that he couldn't go on anymore, the road was ahead, the road was under his feet, and he had to cheer up again.

In the year of the Athens Olympic Games, Ye Shuwen called his mother, and then found his coach in the Hong Kong team to go through the formalities of leaving school, and returned to Sichuan, where he had been away for four years.

That year, Wei Wen lived up to expectations and won the Olympic champion.

During the Olympic Games, Ye Shuwen did not watch TV.

He misses those days, but he knows that he can't continue to look back. If he misses it, he misses it, and there is no possibility of going back again.He had to find a new direction before he could get out of the suffocating life.

Another point, he was afraid that if he saw Wei Wen again, he would not be able to suppress his eagerness to move.

In fact, Wei Wen went to Hong Kong to look for him last year, but because of his reserve at the end, he didn't meet him.Missed that time, and he never heard a single word from the other party after that.

Time and distance can change everything, and only a perverted person like him can firmly grasp the past. Wei Wen's life is so successful, and he is at most just a setback in his life.Happiness, pain, and what you can't ask for are just a time period. Once it passes, time will always heal all the pain.The past, so it is no longer important.

I don't want to think about whether Wei Wen has a new lover, and how happy life is.Ye Shuwen began to look for his own life, studying, reviewing, and making up for the lessons he had missed little by little. Chairman Ye's son did not have a high school education, and it would not sound good to say it.

Ye Shuwen was a freshman in Sichuan Institute of Physical Education, studying sports industry management, a relatively simple subject, just to get a diploma.

No one in the university knew that he had learned swimming, been to the national team, and even participated in the Olympic Games. He was like all the students. Classes, cafeterias, and dormitories were three points one line, and he was better than the three classmates in the same dormitory. , in the eyes of the female students in the class, he is very cold, not talkative, and rarely smiles, and he likes playing computer games, especially World of Warcraft, sometimes playing all night long.

In early summer, the weather is slightly hot, and a pair of short sleeves and jeans is just right for me.Ye Shuwen had just walked from the dormitory to the big classroom, and his body was still a little hot. He found a seat by the window and sat down, tugged at his collar, and yawned lazily.Listening to the chirping of cicadas in the distance, I stared blankly at a white cloud outside the window.

He played all night again yesterday, and now he is sleepy, but the professor of this class will roll his name, and he is not interested in standing up in front of so many people.

Someone sat down beside him, but Ye Shuwen ignored him, the god of sleep was dancing in his head, and he felt that he was about to die.

The bell for class was still far away, and the people around him got up before their butts warmed up. Then there was another person. Ye Shuwen glanced at him. The new one was wearing a white short-sleeved sportswear with the Adidas clover logo. The fabric looked good. The sunlight fell on it as if it was absorbed, only the warm halo gave off a hazy brilliance.

Then Ye Shuwen soon discovered that the reason for seeing Hao Guang was that he was so sleepy that he was already in tears.

Wiping his eyes, he yawned and finally glanced at the face of his temporary deskmate, wanting him to cover himself.In the next second, all movements stopped.

The person who came was looking at him.The short hair was cut neatly on the head, and the hair on the forehead was slightly long, making the other party's face look soft.Under the thick and beautiful eyebrows are a pair of curved eyes, the most conspicuous is a Buddha mole on the center of the eyebrows.The moderately thick lips were pursed, revealing obvious tension.He was looking at himself for a moment.

Ye Shuwen's pulled bones returned to their place in an instant, he sat up straight, and looked dumbly at the man across from him.

A familiar face that has hardly changed.

"Shuwen, I..." Wei Wen shook his eyes a little nervously, hesitant to speak, as if he obviously had a thousand words but didn't know where to start.

Ye Shuwen looked at Wei Wen blankly, his lazy and relaxed expression gradually became tense, until finally he was indifferent.

"I..." Wei Wen opened his mouth, wanting to say more.

"Bell—" the class bell rang.

Never a second early or a second late, the professor walked in through the front door with a stack of notebooks in his arms.

Ye Shuwen turned to look at the professor, not Wei Wen.

heart.

Jump almost through the chest.

For almost half of the class, Ye Shuwen was in a panic. He didn't expect Wei Wen to come to him suddenly, especially when he was masturbating while recalling the contents in his head last night. The shock of appearing in front of him was already strong enough to make him question the world.

Why did Wei Wen come here suddenly?

Are you here to get back together?

What are you thinking! ?It's been so long, it's impossible, right?Why do you think that a person who won the world championship will miss you for so many years?Why do you think that the other party can still bear your temper after so many rejections?How narcissistic are you to have such thoughts?

However, if he didn't come to find himself to get back together, why would he, a Beijinger, come to Sichuan and sit next to him?

Even so, it doesn't necessarily come to you to get back together, maybe it's to settle accounts with you. Your mother tossed her grandmother half her life, why don't you allow others to take revenge?

No, no, Wei Wen has long said that the matter of his parents' generation is over. Didn't he also tell himself not to hold grudges against his grandma?

But one size counts, and if he doesn't hold grudges against his grandma, it doesn't mean he doesn't hold grudges against your mother, okay?

Come on, don't be too horny, he will appear here at this time, besides wanting to chase you, fuck you, and be fucked by you, does he have any other purpose?

"..." Ye Shuwen felt that the idea of ​​"going to you" was inexplicably sharp.

At the end of the class, Ye Shuwen's chaotic thoughts gradually calmed down. No matter what the purpose of Wei Wen's visit this time was, it seemed that he couldn't escape today.In fact, after so many years, he refused to let him lose the opportunity to understand the happy knot again and again. Maybe he chose to talk to Wei Wen at the beginning, and he might have already opened up his own era in the Hong Kong team. Even if everything seems to be normal now, he knows I still haven't come out of that incident.A failed life is doomed to his obsession, and the root cause is the relationship with Wei Wen.

No matter whether we get back together today or break up, there must always be a clear and clear result.

The get out of class bell rang, and they followed the crowd out of the classroom and out of the building.Ye Shuwen led the way and took a small path with few people, then slowed down and waited for Wei Wen to come over.

"How do you know I'm here?"

"I inquired." Wei Wen said, his voice was a little lower than he remembered, standard Mandarin, the words were correct, and it was very pleasant to listen to.

"Can you also inquire about the class?"

"Well." Wei Wen explained, "There is a brother who returned to Sichuan after retiring from the military. He is studying in this school. I asked him for help."

"What's the matter?" Ye Shuwen stopped, and finally looked at Wei Wen squarely. This glance seemed to be separated by a time and space, so strange, yet so familiar, his heartstrings seemed to be trembling, and there was even a momentary blankness in his mind. .

Wei Wen looked at Ye Shuwen almost greedily. Countless words were squeezed in his throat, and finally he only said four words dryly: "I want to see you."

See if you are doing well, see if you still remember me, see if you still love me, see if we can continue to be together.

He couldn't say it, he didn't dare to say it, he was already afraid of getting an answer of rejection, the pain from the past was so unforgettable, even if he just stood quietly beside this person like this, it was enough.

"What are you looking at me for?" Ye Shuwen was flustered and his eyes wandered. He could feel the emotion of reluctance from the other party's words, but he didn't know how to answer.

"I'm retired."

"?" Ye Shuwen was stunned for a moment, but he didn't expect the topic to change suddenly.

"Originally, I could swim for another two years, but I didn't agree. I retired after the Olympics."

"Oh."

"Actually two years ago, I didn't want to swim anymore. I went to look for you, but you didn't see me. I wanted to retire after I went back, but no one would let me. My retirement application was withheld. I didn't go to training for more than a month. Don’t fire me. They asked me to stay in the Athens Olympics, Director Yao also talked to me several times, and I could only agree. Later, in order to recover my wasted month, it took me three months to adjust back .”

"Ah."

Wei Wen looked at Ye Shuwen's blank expression, and clenched his hands beside him into fists: "I have been preparing for the Olympics since March last year. The tasks in the team are very heavy. I was also sent to Athens for two training sessions. Yue, I wanted to contact you after returning to China, but they told me that you had withdrawn, so I thought you must have returned to Sichuan. It is a pity that there will be nearly half a year of closed training until after the Olympic Games. come over."

"..."

"Shuwen, have you watched the Olympics? I did very well and won two gold medals. In fact, the strength of this year's players is really strong. There is also a talented player in the United States, who scored better than me in the semi-finals There is also a player from Russia in front of me, so I won the third track in the final. In fact, my semi-final results are already very good, and the lowest score is not much worse than mine, but there are still two players who are better than me Swimming so fast, everyone thought I might not get the gold medal, but I didn't expect that in the end..."

"Okay, are you here to show off?" Ye Shuwen said.

Wei Wen was dumbfounded, staring at Ye Shuwen in a daze.

Ye Shuwen took a deep breath, suppressed his sudden boiling anger, and said lightly: "Okay, I see, what else do you want to say?"

"I... I won the gold medal, and the Beijing Municipal Government rewarded me with a house, which is next to the sports village."

"Well, congratulations."

"The team also gave me a lot of bonuses."

"Well, congratulations."

"I changed cars."

"Well, congratulations."

"So I... I want to tell you..."

"?"

Wei Wen took a deep breath, clenched his fists tightly, and said bravely: "I am not in the swimming team now, and I have a house and a car. No one will interfere with our affairs anymore. I want to say... I want to ask ...to ask you... can we still be together?"

"..."

"..."

Ye Shuwen looked at Wei Wen's nervousness, his terrified eyes, and his red ears. An inexplicable emotion surged out, so complicated that he couldn't tell whether it was happiness or sadness.

For a long time.

He asked almost indifferently: "Do you want to get back together?"

"...Yes." Wei Wen looked at Ye Shuwen expectantly, not knowing how to describe his inner feelings.That youthful past, not only did not become indifferent with the passage of time, but took root and sprouted in his heart until now it has grown into a towering tree.After so many years, being with Ye Shuwen again has become the most important obsession in his heart, even far surpassing winning the world championship.

I don't know how many times I dreamed back at midnight, and all I saw was that smiling sunny little brother who said frankly that I like you too.I don't know how many times I woke up from the dream, and what remained in my mind was the lover who looked at me indifferently and miserably.He wants to make up for everything, he wants to heal the pain, he wants to be with Ye Shuwen again, kiss each other, feel the warmth of each other, tell him how much he loves him, and he also wants to hear that sound ,"I love you too."

Thinking about it, my body almost hurts and I can't breathe.

Ye Shuwen looked away and looked into the distance. He didn't know whether he should agree, his body had a deep memory of that relationship, and he had to admit that he was still attached to Wei Wen.

But these are nothing, he learns his wisdom from a pit, he has already experienced the horror of being with a man, how could he go on despite knowing that the road ahead is difficult.

He opened his mouth, wanting to refuse directly, but when he saw Wei Wen's red eyes, all the words were choked out of his throat, and he couldn't bear to say: "I...have to think about it."

Wei Wen's eyes recovered, and his heart beat again.

He could feel that at that moment, Ye Shuwen wanted to reject himself.

Afraid to hear this answer, he was so frightened that he almost wanted to turn around and leave. At the moment of waiting, he seemed to be put on the stake and tormented on it for hundreds of millions of years in a blink of an eye.

"It's time for lunch, I..." Ye Shuwen lowered his eyes, turned his wrist to look at his watch, and covered up the regret in his eyes.In fact, it should be rejected directly. If this continues, it will not be good for both of them. Since you have already tried hard, why do you want to jump into the pit of fire.

"I invite you to dinner." Wei Wen rushed, "When I arrived at your place, you introduced me to eat authentic Sichuan cuisine. Didn't you say that Sichuan hot pot is delicious? Spicy and delicious, I have been looking forward to this."

Ye Shuwen opened his mouth, then shook his head: "I have an appointment with my classmates at noon, let's talk about it in two days, and then I will treat you to dinner."

Wei Wen smiled and nodded: "Okay, I'll find it in two days."

Ye Shuwen stopped talking.

Wei Wen took a few steps backwards, his gaze was lingering, and finally he turned and walked away.

Both of them knew very well that two days later would be the final ending, perhaps a reunion after a broken mirror, or a complete end.