Live separately

01.

Sitting in the co-pilot, I turned my head away and looked out the window, trying not to look at him or let him see my face, because now my expression must be uglier than crying, my eye sockets must be red, and the tears are already full Now, the lips are biting tightly, the brows must be frowning, and there must be wrinkles on the forehead again.We were silent, and I could even hear the swallowing sound as he opened his mouth and closed it, causing his Adam's apple to move up and down. I knew he was hesitating to speak.

The weather was getting hotter and hotter in the afternoon, and the wind blowing in when I rolled down the car window was hot, and my body started to feel sticky again.

"Yuyang, I..." His sudden opening was no less than a thunderbolt, and I had thousands of thoughts in an instant, and finally only turned into a sentence "It's too hot, I'll sleep first." I don't want to hear it, you Why do you speak, why do you speak?I interrupted him, turned sideways, put my hands on the car window, and avoided his sight in an extremely weird posture, like a primary school student sleeping on his desk in the morning.I closed my eyes tightly and tried hard to force back the tears but my arms were wet.

"Auntie should have told you a long time ago, I know..."

"Know what?" I almost yelled out this sentence.

"Yuyang, you..." Did he still want to persuade me?

"Stop! Stop!" I yelled like crazy, and the tears finally burst out like a flood that broke the embankment. Tears soaked my entire face on my cheeks and under my jaw.I desperately opened the car door, wanting to rush out like a savage.He was overwhelmed with fright and yelled at me to calm down.calm?How to calm down?My whole being is going to be reduced to ashes.

With a sound of "呵啦", he finally stopped the car on the side of the road with a sudden brake. The car stopped in such a hurry that both of them staggered.The car stopped, I stopped screaming, and let the tears flow, he was still in shock, still standing there in a daze, I tried to unbuckle the seat belt but couldn't catch the buckle, I frantically pulled it for a long time, and finally broke free. "Yuyang" I just wanted to rush out the door, but he came back and called me.It was amazing that I actually told him that it was too stuffy and I wanted to go down to get some air.What are you doing?Want to reassure him?Or what else do you expect?

I finally got out of the car. The clouds in the sky were very thick, and the sun showed a little bit of light. Although it was afternoon, it was more like dusk when the sky was about to darken.I leaned on the camphor tree on the sidewalk, gasping for breath, but my nose became more and more congested, my lungs seemed to be blocked, and it became difficult to breathe.I kept fighting against this tree trunk, like an angry defeated dog biting everything, I was in a panic.

"Boom" The sky that had been silent for most of the day finally thundered. The sweltering heat of the day was best interpreted, and a heavy rain was coming.Accompanied by several thunders, the leaves also began to be "squeaked" by the wind.

I don't know when he was already in front of me, and he was crying too, so ugly.He squatted down, facing me, and grabbed my muddy, chapped, bleeding hands.Too many tears blurred my vision, I couldn't see his expression clearly, but I knew he was looking at me, he was crying, he was choking and feeling uncomfortable.What are you crying for?I am the one who has no choice, and I am the one who will be abandoned by him.I cried aloud, he let go of my hand, but I didn't notice it, I just let my hands stretch out in front of me so bent, just volleying in the air.Probably in order not to press my hand, he just embraced me gently with open arms, and leaned forward to let me rest my head on his shoulder, which was really considerate.We remained silent, we just leaned on each other and wept heartily.The boring summer finally ushered in a menacing heavy rain. The sudden raindrops made life painful. Passers-by glanced at us and ran to hide from the rain.

I don’t understand why we have come to this point all of a sudden. I’m afraid that my classmates and friends will be scorned and spurned when they find out, and I’m afraid that my parents and elders will obstruct me. I never thought that the final disintegration was because of ourselves. I thought we loved each other and were not afraid of anything, but maybe I was the only one who thought of being an enemy of the world.

I had a premonition of this ending a few days ago when he told me that he was going to have a vacation.In fact, my mother told me on the phone a week ago that he, Han Duo, and my brother brought his girlfriend back home. Aunt Shen and Uncle Han are very satisfied. They are his classmates. I even know that woman is called Meng Qin .It's just that I'm waiting for him to tell me himself, otherwise I can't believe it. I always feel that my mother must have made a mistake, or he has no choice but to deal with Aunt Shen. After all, he is four years older than me, and he is already 24, working early after high school.In those few days, I made all kinds of excuses for him and myself, but at this moment when he was crying, I completely realized that I had been deceiving myself and others.I understand we're really at the end of it.

The author has something to say:

Chatting with a friend, I mentioned that many comrades are actually afraid to come out of the closet, and most of the time they still choose to get married like most people.Suddenly I want to write this novel, which is relatively short, just like the introduction said, it is just a short story about breaking up.