When the double black penetrates the if line

Sure enough, "Book" would not let him go.

Osamu Dazai felt cold in his heart, almost thinking about it numbly.

In the original timeline, he was determined to jump off the top of the port mafia building for Oda Sakunosuke, and Nakahara Nakaya directly turned into a god in order to save him, and his original personality died just like that.

And when Osamu Dazai worked so hard to get the "book", weaved one lie after another, and finally came to the past, he found that everything he wanted to change hadn't changed, and everything he wanted to save hadn't changed. People finally left his side.

Osamu Dazai wanted Oda Sakunosuke to get rid of the shadow of the port mafia, and wanted him to live so freely and happily without killing people or doing what he wanted to do, and to freely realize his desire to write novels dream.

He wanted his friends to be able to live in the light from now on, without being involved in any disputes and calculations between dark people like them, and wanted Oda to continue to live peacefully in this only parallel world Go on, and even give up your own life for it.

...Even in this world line, his friends don't know him, and they are still on the opposite side of him.

Osamu Dazai also wanted his lover to return to this world.He wanted to start all over again, to grasp what he hadn't grasped before, and to make the throbbing of his heart come true forever.

Nakahara Chuya is too bright for him, Dazai Osamu is like a person who has been walking in the dark for a long time, sometimes just being touched by such light, feeling the freshness and vitality of the person around him, he will Make him feel overwhelmed.

At the beginning, he moved away from Nakahara Nakaya in a daze, and wanted to cut off what he thought was his "weakness". This was simply the thing Dazai Osamu regretted the most in his life.

He wants to make up for this regret, he wants to bring the orange-haired boy who can take care of himself, cooperate with him, and smile and say that he will never let himself die to this world again, and wants to hug him Instead of pushing him away.

Throughout the half of his life that he has lived to the present, Osamu Dazai feels that he is really not a good person. His notoriety has also been spread far and wide in black organizations like the Port Mafia, which has aroused the awe and fear of countless people.

He has always been alone, walking from the bottomless abyss, bringing fear and fear like a disaster, bringing death and destruction, even he himself wants to burn and destroy like a meteorite.

If you count carefully, people like him should have no friends.

Getting acquainted with a Sakunosuke Oda in another world, and also meeting in the Central Plains in this world, probably exhausted the luck of Osamu Dazai's life in his life.

Chuya Nakahara once made him give up death, and Sakunosuke Oda once made him turn to the light. No matter which one, Osamu Dazai felt that he should not have anything to do with people like himself.

There are very few people who can really get along with Osamu Dazai, but it is precisely because of this scarcity that he wants to protect those close to him even more.

However, Osamu Dazai found that he calculated to the end and made so many plans and preparations. However, after all the organs were calculated, he still couldn't hold anything in his hands in the end.

Osamu Dazai wanted to revive Chuya Nakahara, but now the personality of Chuya Nakahara has disappeared, and in the eyes of outsiders, Osamu Dazai killed it himself.

Osamu Dazai wanted to let Sakunosuke Oda walk in the light forever, but the "book" gave him an unpredictable past, which made Sakunosuke Oda once again entered the port mafia and fell into the mud.

Everything Osamu Dazai wanted to grasp and protect, in the end, went on the exact opposite path to what he wanted, like a curse, and finally left him alone.

"...What's wrong with you? Why is your face suddenly so ugly?" Ozaki Koye's words brought Osamu Dazai back from his thoughts, he was dazed for a moment, and then quickly lowered his head.

"It's nothing." Osamu Dazai said quickly. He lowered his eyes to cover the turbulent waves in his eyes, and said softly, "I...I'll go see him right away."

"But your face is too pale, like a piece of paper, is there something wrong with your body before?" Sister Hongye was not at ease, and asked, "If something goes wrong, it must be treated. would do any good."

"It's really nothing." Osamu Dazai also knew that he didn't look good at the moment, so he quickly turned around and said in the calmest tone he could, "Isn't it Oda Sakunosuke? I'll go check it out right now." His situation."

"Farewell, Miss Hongye."

……

It wasn't until he walked out of the port mafia building and came to the familiar Yokohama riverside that Osamu Dazai relaxed.

He closed his eyes, and in his iris-colored eyes, emotions such as pain, sadness, powerlessness, and sadness surged up like a tide, densely filling all the space, as if the levee of camouflage had been removed suddenly, The flood of emotion poured out vigorously and turbulently.

"Chuya..." Osamu Dazai took a deep breath, half squatted on the lawn by the river bank, his whole body bent down suddenly as if he had been punched so painfully that he couldn't stand up.

With his eyes closed, his whole body was trembling, as if he was experiencing some kind of extreme pain, and he murmured again: "Chuya..."

Central Plains is also gone.

He is gone again.

Dazai was left alone.

"Why..." Dazai Osamu's breath was thin and rapid, falling into the ears like the breath of a person who was about to suffocate.

Why did he do so much, but Zhong Yuan still couldn't return to him.

Why is he in this world, in this time and space, so that he doesn't even have the chance to meet Zhong Ye again.

Is it true that some people are like this, and if they miss it, it will be a lifetime thing, and no matter how hard they try, no matter what changes they make, it will be impossible to recover it again?

However, a world without Chuya Nakahara is not the world Osamu Dazai wanted.

If he really never sees Nakahara Chuya again in this world...

Osamu Dazai opened one eye, and saw the river he was so familiar with in front of him through the blurred tears.

If in this world, Chuya Nakahara has really disappeared forever... Osamu Dazai feels that he doesn't want to live anymore.

Originally, he didn't miss his own life at all. The human world was just a play to him. When there is no leading actor in this play, why would Osamu Dazai continue to stay in this play, watching those boring and boring people who do nothing? What about human beings?

perhaps……

Osamu Dazai stood up, calmly watching the river in front of him.

The water of this river in Yokohama has always been very clear, reflecting the blue sky above, showing a beautiful azure blue, bringing almost a fascinating calm, beautiful like a huge piece of blue crystal glass.

Perhaps... just letting yourself drown in the river, letting the air in your mouth and nose be slowly taken away, and letting your consciousness gradually sink in the darkness is also a very good choice.

Dazai took a deep breath and took a step forward.

It was not the first time that Osamu Dazai committed suicide by jumping into a river, but unlike the previous times, this time he knew that if he jumped, he would definitely die.

Because he doesn't want to live anymore, never has he longed for a calm and restful darkness from the bottom of his heart like now, never has he wanted to close his eyes and forget all the painful and sad things like now.

In this timeline, he first became conscious when he was rescued from the river by Mori Ogai.And his consciousness will eventually be included in this river.

Come to think of it, it's a pretty good ending.

Osamu Dazai took another step forward, and now he was on the edge of the river, and the water was about to hit the edge of his shoe.

If Chuya was still here, the dwarf would have rushed over with a roar, dragged him away from the river, and cursed him while doing so, if he had any rebuttals , Chuuya raised his pure blue eyes and stared at Osamu Dazai, with a flash of beautiful anger in his eyes.

It makes people want to kiss directly.

But these are not true.

Zhong Yuanzhong has also disappeared, the boy who kept saying that he would not let him die will never appear again, and will never pull him back from the brink of death when he wanted to commit suicide.

So just let it end like that.

Osamu Dazai sighed softly, and took another step forward.

But before he could step into the water, someone grabbed his arm violently.

"Excuse me, are you going to jump into the river?"

Osamu Dazai heard the person who grabbed him say this behind him, and his whole body froze because of the familiar voice.

"I think you're going to jump into the river." Oda Sakunosuke stood on the bank of the river, held Dazai Osamu's arm with one hand to prevent him from falling into the water, and said seriously, "But it's not good to do this. You are still a teenager, and it is not very safe to jump into the river in Yokohama, and it is ugly to die after jumping into the river."

"...Odasaku?" Osamu Dazai turned his head, and softly murmured in a shocked voice, "Why are you here?"

"Eh? You know me?" Oda Sakunosuke scratched his wine-red hair. At this point in time, Oda Sakunosuke was very young, and looked very different from the pure and steady look that Osamu Dazai knew. , it seems that the age is not much older than Osamu Dazai.

He tilted his head in some doubts, randomly put the matter behind him, and changed the subject with a smile: "Since you know me, it will be easier. Excuse me, do you know that 'Dazai Osamu' is now in Where? I was told that Osamu Dazai would come to see me, but I looked around here and didn’t seem to see him.”

"Although you seem to be a very young boy, you should not have any contact with such things, but I always feel that you should know a little about him. If you can tell where Osamu Dazai is, then It could not be better."