He Shen and Tanuki

When Yu Ci called, Fang Li was staring blankly at the ceiling in a daze, with the whites of his eyes turned up, his head tilted, his neck slanted, and his posture was rugged, like a dying fish.

"Have you done the math problem yet?"

Fang Li almost turned the few black eyes under his eyelids, and said in a desperate tone: "Ha ha."

I don't know who created the characters, the simple syllables gather the essence of ZG's 5000-year-old culture, and all the complicated emotions in the thick idiom dictionary are condensed and integrated into one.As the most advanced organism, all you need is a calm face, a calm voice, and a calm aura, and you can give others the illusion of "I'm almost suffocating" by uttering these two words lightly.

Fang Li was deeply influenced by this profound culture, and said that he would definitely become such a person in the future.However, as a noble and beautiful man, he only waved his hands and left behind the myths that have been passed down for generations, trampled people's praise and admiration under his feet, and lay on the bed with a messy, long-haired beauty holding instant noodles, hiding his meritorious deeds. with the name.

No, no, Fang Li held his chest and rejoiced. Fortunately, he has always been restrained and humble, otherwise even if he loses a strand of hair in the future, he will be guarded and enshrined in the temple layer by layer, as a sign that he can rely on his face but rely on his talent Sexual figures are passed on from generation to generation orally, and are admired from generation to generation...

God, what.

It is simply bearing the unbearable weight of life!

Fang Li wanted to cover his chest with both hands heavily, making a Xizi holding a heart, and the solid phone case hit his chest, and he almost spit out a mouthful of old blood.In the next second, he held the phone tremblingly and leaned against his ear, and said guiltily, "Hey, Ci'er, are you still there?"

The voice on the other end of the phone drifted slowly, it was as warm as a spring breeze: "It's as long as you are happy."

Fang Li couldn't help worshiping metaphors even more, what kind of cultivation was able to integrate the word "hehe" into simple words so cleverly!

"Remember, don't call me Ci'er in the future, do you understand Xiao Wang Zhi? Or do you want me to call you Xiao Gongju?" Yu Ci's voice is clean and refreshing, and it feels like being delicately spoken. Warm water brushed over every corner of the body, even if the words uttered now were hidden threats, they could still kill all men, women and children, not to mention the weak-willed student Fang Li!

Fang Li is glad that he was not born in a war, otherwise if he was caught by an enemy like Yu Ci, he would be subdued in a daze before he could use the beauty trick!

But as a great character, it seems to be a better setting to have an unknown side?For example, the iron-blooded tough guy has a tender side, and the tall, long-legged, ruthless and handsome president who has captured countless hearts in business wars is actually a dedicated internet scam girl who wears a JK uniform, wears a wig and light makeup in her villa and takes cute selfies?

Fang Li raised his hand and quickly punched himself on the head: "Look at my broken head, what kind of truth do I think!"

Then he suddenly found that his phone was still close to his ear.

Ha ha.

"Ci'er... Yu Ci, I know that you have always been a good young man who is not cruel, heartless or unreasonable, right!"

"I want to buy some cement to fill the holes in your head."

Fang Li's hands trembled into Parkinson's syndrome, and he immediately rolled his eyes and racked his brains to change the subject, with a flattering voice: "My lord, what's the matter with you calling today, I'm listening."

A man can stretch and bend!Ten years is not too late for a gentleman to take revenge!Temporary surrender is for tomorrow's victory!

Yu Ci finally let Fang Li go with satisfaction: "Isn't it your birthday? I bought a gift online and wrote your home as the address."

Fang Li's sharp eyes flew over the phone and directly nailed Yuci to the wall. He was delayed countless times in his head within a second, assembled again, and continued to delay. The scene was so tragic that it was almost 1 bans.If you think about it with your toes, you know that Yu Ci has no good intentions. How do you say that?If you don't have anything to do, you can either rape or steal!

After expressing his eagerness, joy and desire to dance the hula dance, Fang Li hung up the phone with a look of hopelessness, and the cheerful notification sound immediately rang at the right time, and a new text message was displayed on the phone interface .Fang Li cocked his mouth and clicked on the text message, feeling a little overwhelmed. It was the courier boy, so he flew here so efficiently!

"The encounter with you, my dear, ignites the dim light in my eyes, and my world is changing, dotted with variegated light..."

Why don't you just take a courier!speak English!

Depressed.Fang Li reached for the key on the table, ran into the bathroom and tidied it hastily before going downstairs.

With his back heels still on the last step, he saw the tall and mighty body of the courier boy, standing with his back facing him beside the flower bed, stretching out his arms covered with thick hair and blue veins, and pulling his fingertips. Passing a flower close to the tip of his nose and sniffing lightly, he raised his head and looked up at the sky at a melancholy 45-degree angle. The sun cast shadows on his square square face.

Fang Li seems to have seen the flowers in the flower bed trembling at a high frequency.

When the courier boy heard the footsteps, he looked back and smiled coquettishly, the corner of his mouth showing warmth: "My dear, you are here! Don't you want to send a courier?"

Fang Li took his own courier from the courier brother with empty eyes, and the winking eyes that were thrown at him hit his chest and almost spat out a mouthful of old blood.Adhering to the self-awareness of a young talent, he tried his best to maintain an elegant and calm appearance, and put on a charming smile: "Thank you."

"Damn it! We are so close~" The courier brother stretched out his index finger and lightly touched Fang Li's chest, then covered his face shyly, and secretly lifted Fang Li from top to bottom and from top to bottom through the gap between his fingers. Scanned several times from bottom to top.

Crit x 3.

Isn't it always you delivering express? Why do you say it is the same as stealing fish!

Fang Li returned home, sat on the floor of the living room, and turned the front of the courier towards himself.Read the above information carefully.

"Exquisite and luxurious gifts, only 998!"

Fang Li let out a heck in his heart, took the scissors in one hand and the courier in the other, and began to unpack the bags.After a while, a cuboid object wrapped in layers of bubble wrap fell out.Fang Li patiently cut off the tape on the bubble wrap, then put down the scissors, pinched the upper end, and shook his hands gracefully, the items inside rolled and gradually separated from the bubble wrap, and fell onto the on the floor.

Fang Li stared at a shiny golden object and had the urge to suffocate himself with bubble wrap.

Isn't this the transformation stick of Bawuwu Little Demon Fairy!It's really exquisite and luxurious, and the fake diamonds inlaid can blind people's eyes!

He climbed forward with hands and feet and picked up the pink magic wand, looked at it carefully and sneered.The metaphors are really generous, and the ones I bought actually have voice functions.Thinking of this, he put the magic wand on the coffee table aside and ignored it, because he had more important things to do.

He slowly raised the bubble wrap in his hand, showing a gratified smile, as if looking up at the Virgin Mary.

Bubble wrap is a great stress reliever!Yuci this stupid human being!

The author has something to say:

In order to prevent yourself from being cheated and supervise yourself by the way, first put (/≥▽≤/)