do not like

I shook my head mechanically and reached out to hug him.

The person in the arms was trembling, and said with a sneer, "You didn't want to touch me after all. Sure enough, a fresh body is more attractive, right?"

"No! Shi Min! Stop talking, okay? That's not it!"

I couldn't help it in an instant, if I really had a time machine, I would definitely go back and beat up Fang Min at that time.It's a pity that there is no such thing, I can only try my best to comfort Shi Min and make him calm down.

After a while, Shi Min finally became less excited, but looked at me even more emptily, and asked, "You are! After taking care of me for so long, you finally found that my personality is unbearable and my body is unattractive." right?"

The tone was like, when he learned that I was going to be sent to Indonesia for a year, he was cold, desperate, and extremely inferior to his body.

But why should he feel inferior?The man I couldn't catch up to in eight years, my moon, my mountaintop.

"Shi Min, no, no..." I covered his mouth, and told him that I was just feeling sorry for him.

So thin, how could I make myself such a beast.

I think, he probably really thought I was going to leave, which brought back bad memories before.

So, uncharacteristically, he unbuttoned his clothes, did he want to keep me?

He didn't want me to go, although he said "no need" and "nothing to do with it", but he wanted to keep me in his heart, and he would even tear off his thin skin to please me as before.

I should be happy, he cares about me, but why do I feel so distressed?

"Shi Min, listen to me."

I tried my best to keep my voice from trembling, and I told myself that I must love him this time.

"I won't go. I came to you suddenly because I heard your conversation with Li Yuan."

I took a deep breath, stabilized my emotions and continued: "I'm sorry, it's my fault for kissing you without your consent, and it's also my fault for not caring about your feelings before—but this time I really won't leave, Shi Min, trust me once."

Shi Min's brows were loosened a little, and there seemed to be a layer of moisture in his eyes.

He broke free from my arms, and I obediently let him go and listened to him.

"I believe you?" As he spoke, he suddenly started to cry, "How dare I believe you?"

I was so distressed, but I didn't know how to comfort him. I could only get closer to him first, and after making sure that he would not resist, I wrapped my arms around him, and then hugged him.

Just like how he comforted me every time before, I used my whole body to warm him up.

He didn't want this warmth, and pushed me away again.

"I have always believed in you and believed that everything will be fine. What happened? When you left, I thought you would come back—yes, you came back, but if it wasn't for my mother, would you hide from me? Hide forever?"

He began to tremble again, and his emotions became more and more agitated, "You said you loved me again, and I believed it again. What happened? You went to Indonesia, at that time! You went abroad! One year! You said love, But what? Which one thing can make me believe!"

"Fang Min, you can't just ruin it just because you are loved!"

His voice was hoarse, and there were some drops of water on his eyelashes.

I have never seen him like this, crazy, loud, hysterical, trying to vent all his dissatisfaction.

I froze for a while, the movement of my hand was unconscious, as if imprinted in my habit, I went to hug him again.

"But people's habits are terrible." He avoided my hand, speaking anxiously and tremblingly, "You kiss me, I will still respond involuntarily, even if everyone tells me, stay away from you, stay away from you , Stay away from you! I just can't help it!"

He said, buried his face in his palms, and sobbed.

In the past, Shi Min would only say: Don't turn over old scores, I didn't mean to blame you.

But I know, how is it possible?There are so many things that hurt him, each one is enough to make me full of holes, but he didn't say it before, and I still didn't say it after I chased him. Even if he blamed me in his heart, he wouldn't tell me I, Fang Min, you are really an asshole.

We had a misunderstanding, but even if it was a huge misunderstanding, I was also at fault.

I got closer, hugged him tightly, and told him that it was my problem and my fault, so give me a chance to take care of him, okay?

"Why did you leave... I know all the 'misses' and 'misunderstandings' you said...but I really don't understand why you broke up with me in that situation ..."

Shi Min still couldn't stop crying, he couldn't stop poking his heart, "I was really scared at the time, did I think I was really that unbearable? Being sick, there are so many things that tie you up with sympathy, morality, and responsibility, but I can't even keep you, because I'm so disappointed in me that I choose to leave at that time?"

"It's not like that, it's not..."

I continued to hug him and was pushed away again.In such a stalemate, I tugged at the corner of his clothes and begged him to look into my eyes.

If he could see it, he should have noticed my pain and distress.

He grinned suddenly and smiled with tears in his eyes.

It was so bitter, that smile felt like it was going to tear my chest apart.

"Fang Min, are you very proud? A person who has been injured like this still can't forget you, doesn't he have a sense of accomplishment?"

"no no!"

I grabbed the corner of his clothes and told him over and over again that I love him, I really love him, how can I make him understand.

But he still confessed painfully, talking about what I had never heard before, his accusations, his misfortunes, and his grievances.

"If you are tired from playing, I beg you to find other prey! Don't you like the sea? Don't you like the sun? I can't give you these!"

Shi Min smiled wryly while weeping, and every drop of tear fell on my neck.

"The only thing I can give you is this body, a body that is not easy to live in! But you don't want it! On my birthday, I almost begged you to stay. Why did you leave, why did you leave?"

I can't hurt for him, and he doesn't understand my pain.The two of us were entangled like this, he scratched the back of my hand with his nails, and I clutched his clothes tightly.

He didn't realize what he was doing at all, but I could feel the warm liquid on my hand and the pain left behind.

"Then you come back now, you say you love me, who would believe it! I wake up in pain at night, and every time I wake up, I think it's good that Fang Min is here-but I'm used to being alone now, you know? ? I'm used to it! Even if you don't live nearby, I won't die, I can live, and I can live well by myself!"

When he finished speaking, his chest heaved violently, his eyes were frighteningly red, he pushed me with a stiff neck, and beat my arm.

These words are so familiar, every time I self-righteously think "he will live better without me", it becomes the thrust of us drifting apart.

I dare not agree, let alone refute.He was lying to people, to himself, to me, thinking that I would walk away the way I was.

I'm so stupid, how could I be so stupid?How on earth is Shi Min going to survive those days when no one is with him?

"I'm just...so scared..." I clutched the corner of his clothes and said in an almost pleading tone, "I'm afraid that you don't love me, I'm afraid that you just because of your habits and personality Don't refuse me, I'm afraid your illness will get worse because of being unhappy with me..."

As I was talking, I suddenly felt how these reasons could be so stupid, why did I think so at that time, so I slapped myself.

Shi Min's conditioned reflex generally stopped me.

Probably he himself didn't expect this action, he was stunned for a moment, and repeated: "Look, how terrible people's habits are."