start learning to love you

"What's wrong with me? You want to break up with me. I've been doing pretty well recently. I haven't made any trouble. What are you doing?"

"I spoke to your sister yesterday about our..."

"Oh, you guys have talked, and you kicked me out when you finished talking. If you say turn your back on it, turn it on and say you colluded. What are you going to do?"

"don't get excited"

"Can I not be excited?"

"Jinse, listen to me, you are still young and have no history, and you have had a boyfriend, we still think you should..."

"I don't listen, oh, when you think it's right for me to be with you, I should be with you, and now you think it's wrong for me to be with you, so you're going to kick me out, why. I work hard Work hard to prove to your mother that I am no worse than that Wu Man. I told myself that I should hide when things happen, and don’t leave the mess to you. Didn’t you see how hard I persisted? You said you don’t want to Me, what do you mean?"

"I didn't want you"

"You have it, I won't break up, but I don't."

Shi Jing probably felt that I could not continue our peaceful conversation, so she got up and got out of bed. I saw that she was going to fall down and put her on the bed. I said, "Do you think I'm not good at that, so you want to leave me?" .”

"I didn't, you are overthinking."

"You just have it, I can't, who can, wouldn't there be no love without sex?"

"Of course not, you... um." At that time, I couldn't hold back my anger and bit Shi Jing's lower lip. She frowned in pain, and when I let go of my teeth, her lower lip was caught by me. The bite was red, not broken but congested. I sat on her lap and widened my eyes and said, "I can't break up unless I say goodbye, and in the future, don't keep talking about it with my sister. She will take care of my affairs for me." I can’t be the master, I’m sure I’ll be fine and won’t go on like this forever.” After I finished speaking, I fell on the bed again, and Shi Jing went downstairs and didn’t come up for a long time.

The two of us didn't say a few words that day, I was angry and didn't want to talk to her, and she couldn't find something to talk about. It wasn't until sister Xiaoya called to ask about the situation at night that Shi Jing said a few words.

"Jinse"

"Angry with the Times"

"Well, angry."

"Yo, don't get angry and hurt yourself."

"Can I not be angry and say that she wants to break up with me for my future, what did she do long ago, and now this is the case."

"Jinse, listen to what my sister said to you. Don't be angry, don't get angry. The situation is more than you think. Although it is impossible for her to be with Wu Man, there is no opposite sex around her because she doesn't want to contact her. You are different from us. You like to be lively and play with men and women. You had a boyfriend when you were in college, not to mention that you are still perfect. If you now have a boy you like or feel good Boy, time does not want to delay you."

"Damn it, how did she know that I like to hang out with boys, so she must have a boyfriend. After saying that my sister can spend so many years with you, why can't I spend more than ten years with her? You don't believe that I still matched me and Shijing for what?"

"Look, it's all our fault again, Jinse, sister Xiaoya treats you to dinner some other day when you are free, Shijing really follows you and it's for your own good, be good, don't make trouble with her, she is not easy. "

"I see, hang up." I dropped the phone and nestled on the sofa to eat peaches, Shijing pulled out a napkin and interjected for me. I asked her, "Do you still love me?" She nodded, and I said, "Then you can't let go." Let go of my hand, you don't let me let you go, but you let me go instead, aren't you kidding me, I'm going to be serious, you say you go, you are an idiot."

"I was wrong"

"It was your fault"

I'm not an unreasonable person, but this time I think I'm right. After the breakup incident, I went to the hospital again, and I sat opposite the psychiatrist and faltered about my symptoms.

"I have been with a woman who is older than me for many years. We have never been close or far away. It is not a lover relationship, and it is not related. After I graduated from university, we lived together again. She had a first love before, and that person came back last year and they slept together when they were on a business trip together. My girlfriend loves her ex very much, and she keeps everything about them, and me , I don’t particularly mind it, but it’s hard to avoid. Since I went to college, I have been particularly repulsed or even disgusted with homosexuality, and then I dated a few boyfriends, but none of them succeeded. As for my girlfriend, I actually like her. She is very beautiful and outstanding. I should say that I am not good enough for her, and I have no sense of responsibility and always like to avoid things. My biggest problem now is that I can’t do anything about sex. Going on, I always feel nauseous and want to vomit, and my hands are shaking from nervousness, do you think my condition is serious, doctor?"

"Does your girlfriend know that you are seeing a psychiatrist?"

"I do not know"

"First of all, you don't want to admit that you are in love with someone of the same gender as you. Second, you think that your girlfriend chased her first love first, so you think she doesn't have as much affection for you as her ex. Now, you say You don't mind your girlfriend sleeping with other people. You can't. This is also a knot in your heart. You feel that you are using what others have left, and you have a reaction in your heart. In the end, you can't break through the barrier in your heart. You dare not admit to others that you have a girlfriend, and you dare not let your colleagues know that you like women. You think this behavior is wrong but you can’t let go of your girlfriend. You can leave her, but if she leaves you one day, you just sit down. I can't help but feel that she has failed you."

"Is that so, I didn't feel it."

"For your problem, you still have to start with yourself. First, prove your own situation and be brave to take responsibility. Your girlfriend has carried too many things for you, which makes you want to run away when you encounter trouble. From today on, you Solve it yourself, and share the burden for her. Second, next time you ask your girlfriend to come with you, she will do something wrong, which will make you more and more serious and difficult to untie. Third , don’t be too arrogant, people may live better without you, you have no right to restrict other people’s thoughts and behaviors.”

"I'm arrogant, how could I?"

The doctor deserves to be a doctor who thoroughly analyzed everything I didn't understand in just a few words. I thought that if I find a psychiatrist as my girlfriend, I won't have any private space. I will see you thoroughly every day, and I will be scared to death. up.

I was in a good mood and went home cheerfully. I haven’t been active for a while, but once I became active, the situation looked at me like a monster and said, “This is a lottery win, or a lawsuit.”

"No, not at all. I'm in a good mood today. Will I invite you to eat fresh taro fairy later?" It's rare for someone like me to ask her to eat dessert. She kissed the side of my face and said in a strange way: "I also have the day when I see the money back." The two of us went out for a walk after eating at home. The underground of the shopping mall was full of snack bars. Xianyuxian was facing the elevator entrance. I ordered a Babaobing at the bar. Shijing asked for a piece of fairy grass.

I found a quiet place to sit down and took out my mobile phone to see what new movies were released. Shi Jing received a few leaflets when she entered the store. Watching movie trailers on Meituan to pass the time, the sign on the table rang and she got up to bring dessert.

"I plan to cooperate with Jinyan"

"Oh, I'm not involved in your affairs."

"You are not afraid that we will fight"

"Hit it, kill a young man."

"Why are there three?"

"And me, sister probably can kill you and me together."

"Little Devil"

"Shijing, let me tell you something, that is, if you are not busy, go to the hospital with me someday, the psychology department."

"What's wrong"

"I'm always nervous, so I went to the hospital for a look. The gynecologist suggested that I go to the psychology department, so I went. The doctor told you to go there when you have time, and ask you if you have anything to say."

"Okay, how about this Friday?"

"Okay, okay, as long as you agree to go."