I will die the day I want to die

I thought I would die this winter, but recently I got a set of mouse-gray pinstriped linen kimonos, which are suitable for summer, so I'd better live until summer.

—— Osamu Dazai

"Why don't you die."

What he said kept replaying in his mind.

Is very common, many people have said to me.

But I don't really want to die.

At least for now I don't really want to die.

No matter people I know well or strangers who have only met once, they always like to say that I am vicious. To put it in a funny way, it means that the world thinks you are a sinner, and you are a sinner.

I do not understand.

Is this "worldly person" one person, or ten people?

Is "worldly people" such a general term for people who don't like me?

Ah, that's awful.

But he was the worst.

When Mingming wrote a love letter to me, he signed it as "Yun Shu's Xie Ji".

Xie Ji Xie Ji, what a big piece of rubbish.

I am Yun Shu.

When Xie Ji heard what I said to him, he grinned and then gave me a push.

On the back was the knife held by Li Si, piercing my lower abdomen.

I looked down at the tip of the knife protruding from my body, it was stained with blood and dirty.

"Of course I know you are Yun Shu, you vicious guy."

"I will never forget you."

ha?

It was me who was pierced by the knife. According to the relativity of things, I was the victim, right?

Why are you more wronged than me?

I grinned at him and made a grimace, and said with a smile, "You love me so much, you won't forget me even if you die."

Hey, he twisted the knife in his hand, and it hurt me a little.

He is such a fool, he should hold the handle of the knife, why hold the tip of the knife, his hand is bleeding.

I glanced back at Li Si, and said angrily, "Didn't you see that he was going to use a knife? What are you holding on to, give him the handle of the knife."

As soon as he finished speaking, Li Si stared at me with wide eyes. I stared at him, and then saw his hand tremble, and he pulled out the knife.

Fuck. Your mother, the pain made me almost cry.

"You're not dead yet?"

Hey, Xie Ji is really too much.

I just woke up, and it was unlucky to ask me if I was dead when I came up.

I glared at him, too lazy to reply, and lifted the quilt up to cover my eyes.

Xie Ji is really a stubborn person. Seeing that I refused to look at him, he came to tear my quilt again, and then yelled: "My surname is Yun, when will you die?"

The surname Yun glanced at him, curled his lips, and had no choice but to tell him the truth.

"I'm sorry, I went to the temple to ask for a lottery some time ago, and the master said that my life will be happy and safe, and I can live to be 80 years old."

Hey, Xie Ji's face is so pretty, even when he's angry like that.

As expected of someone I like.

Xie Ji was so angry that he beat me up. He hit me on the head with all the water glasses on the table. This is stupid. They are all limited editions collected by Lao Tzu. They cost around one hundred thousand yuan. What if I smashed them with other things? , is really too much.

The head was opened again, and I reached out to touch the blood on my face. I secretly wiped it with the quilt, but it was okay, it was just painful.

He turned around and slammed the door and went out again. I felt a little dizzy, so I lay back on the bed, covered my face with the quilt, and felt a chill on my face, I don't know what it was.

Speaking of which, at the beginning, it was clearly Xie Ji who chased me.

I also wrote a love letter, the writing is not good, I just remember the sentence "I wish you fall in love with me soon".

It was the worst curse in the world.

I wish you to fall in love with me soon.

I wish you a speedy hell.

It's really interesting. I had a dream last night. I dreamed that I tore up the love letter and threw it in his face.

Then the invincible universe told him coolly, "Go ahead and dream, I will never fall in love with you if I fall in love with a dog in my life."

Eh, what a pity, what a pity.

Dreams are reversed.

I saw a movie recently, and there was a line that said, "I'm sorry to be human."

Tsk, why are you sorry.

I've become a muddy life, that's all because of my life, I'm sorry ass, I've only been sorry to myself in this life.

That idiot Xie Ji came again and asked me when I would die.

I don't want to die, why should I die.

When I went to work today, my unfamiliar colleagues looked at me like the plague and smacked their lips. The "world" really hates me.

They don't even know me very well, so they can hate me like ten years.

What's the matter, have you ever seen me murder, set fire, prostitute?

In the middle, I went to the tea room to make coffee, and Xie Ji followed.

It's rare that he didn't ask me if I was dead or not, but just stared at me. After being stared at by him for a long time, I wanted to kiss him.

It's really crazy. If I kiss him, he will hit me, and if he doesn't kiss him, don't look at me.

"Do you know how to write the word "honesty and shame?" His angry eyes turned red.

I patted the ashes kicked on my trouser legs, and replied seriously: "I really don't know."

"..."

"Ha." I looked at him and smiled.

He pursed his lips, and said again: "Xie Ming's funeral is the day after tomorrow, you must come."

Ah, so this is the matter.

I narrowed my eyes and got closer to him, and asked softly, "Can you have sex with me?"

cut.

When he walked out of the hospital, the medicine in his hand was accidentally knocked to the ground.

I glared at that rash guy, and squatted down to pick up the medicine with a limp.

Xie Ji is crazy. Oh, didn't I just ask a few words politely, and actually dragged me up the stairs and pushed me down.

It's so troublesome, wouldn't it be better to throw it directly from the window.

Xie Ji, who is civilized and polite, is really stupid.

Thinking that today is Xie Ming's funeral, my brain hurts.

I dug out the suit that Xie Ji bought for me from the closet. After wearing it, I felt a little too big.

Huh?Only a few years.

Are people thinner than Huang Hua?

interesting.

laughing out loud.

If someone asks me who Xie Ming is?

I must have walked around twice with my eyes wide open to consider the introduction——Xie Ji's own sister, Xie Ji treated him the best!

Then I squatted down covering my face—*, still my girlfriend.

Yes.

Xie Ming is my girlfriend.

surprised?

I'm all amazed.

I like Xie Ji, and it turns out his sister is my girlfriend.

According to the road in the dog blood vat, you will definitely think that I pursued Xie Ming in order to get close to Xie Ji, and then Xie Ming discovered the truth and jumped off the building in a fit of anger.

Think about it this way.

What a vicious person I am, ah.

Stop it.

whatever.

Anyway, I am hated by the "world".

Xie Ji came, I grabbed a handful of candies on the table and walked out.

"Hello, Xie Ji."

"If you're still smiling at my sister's funeral later..." He frowned at me and said coldly.

I quickly interrupted him, nodded and said: "Okay, okay, don't bully me, I'm even thinner than Huang Hua."

Neuropathy.

Xie Ji glanced at me several times, couldn't hold back a curse, turned around, slammed the door and left.

Looking at his angry back, I suddenly felt very funny.

Unable to hold back, he held the door and let out an ugly laugh.

I think the sound should be like a dying bird that has lost its footing, waiting for someone to say, it's almost dead, why are you still struggling.

You die quickly.