I Just Came to Borrow a Light

Lin Chengbu found it difficult to answer Yuan Wu's question.

If you don't know him, Yuan Wu will feel that there is something wrong with him, and if you don't know him, how should you move forward next?But to say that they know each other... Although he has always told Yuan Wu that they knew each other before, when Yuan Wu really asked directly, he didn't dare to answer rashly.

Yesterday Yuanwu suddenly broke out without any warning, and today it seems to be going back and forth...

Who knows what the consequences will be after answering?

After hesitating for a long time, he slowly opened the lunch box and put it beside Yuan Wu, then ran to the stern to fetch the chopsticks, and then said: "What do you think?"

"I never thought about it," Yuan Wu took a breath and tilted his head back, "I just think... hey, why is my sensor like this?"

"Sensor?" Lin Chengbu followed and looked up. The sensor that he smashed that day was hanging half-hanging on the edge of the cabin door. Get a new one for you."

"You smashed it?" Yuan Wu looked at him, "When?"

Lin Chengbu was a little desperate: "Just when we... met for the first time."

"How many times do you think this is the first meeting?" Yuan Wu asked again.

Lin Chengbu looked at him, and felt that Yuan Wu's eyes looked like a psychiatrist listening to a patient: "The second time."

"Let's eat." Yuan Wu said.

"I don't want to eat," Lin Chengbu handed him the chopsticks, "I don't have much appetite for the things I cook."

There should be no more changes today. Wu Wu finished his meal peacefully, packed his lunch box and went back to the cabin. Before entering, he turned around and confessed: "If you feel that you have nowhere to go, you can stay here, but It’s better to be the boat next to it, if you need water or something, you can come over, but you are not allowed to enter the cabin.”

"... Oh." Lin Chengbu responded and jumped onto the nearby boat.

Yuan Wu closed the door, probably started to write a story, and never talked to him again.

The sun is about to set, and there are not as many people here as in the village. Several families have already eaten, and the old pier is quiet and idle at the moment.

Lin Chengbu lay on the deck of the boat next to him, watching the sun, which was no longer dazzling, go down little by little, and finally disappeared on the water far away.

Yuan Wu no longer remembers what happened yesterday, and it seems that he can't remember everything from yesterday.

In other words, Yuan Wu only picked out the things he wanted to remember, and Lin Chengbu was not sure whether he really forgot or forcibly did not remember the others.

But even if he said the relevant content while not remembering, he would turn a blind eye to such a BUG, ​​as if all the unreasonable things were reasonable.

"Who are you? Are you the you you know, or the you in the eyes of others... Do you know...

The voices and thoughts that echoed in his ears repeatedly, haunting him like ghosts, tormented him constantly, especially in the dead of night, making him unable to fall asleep night after night...

The original fear has become part of consciousness, but the source of the fear has been blurred...

He was no longer afraid of fear itself, but began to fear that if one day he was no longer afraid, the meaning of his existence...

He went down slowly, lying in the bathtub filled with water, quietly opened his eyes and watched the slightly swaying water light..."

When Yuan Wu woke up from the dream, his hands were still on the keyboard, and the plot stayed on the last scene in his dream, which made him a little confused, whether he was sleeping or writing.

But the strong suffocation still remained in his body. After closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths, he took a sip of water from the cup.

There was a very light sound of water outside, as if there were waves hitting the ship, but the water on the pier side couldn't make waves unless there was a heavy rain.

Lin Chengbu?

He put down his glass, got up and walked to the hatch, and looked out through the crack of the door.

There was no one on the boat next to him, but the lunch box was still there. He frowned and looked over the water.

There is nothing on the surface of the water, but the shape of the water waves can tell that there are people under the water.

Yuan Wu's hand on the door shook slightly. He knew that Lin Chengbu should be under the water, and he knew that Lin Chengbu could swim...how did he know?

But the judgment "he's under the water" still swept past like an unstoppable gust of wind.

Scared.

anxious.

panic.

He has experienced countless times in his dreams about the despair mixed with some water.

"Come up!" Yuan Wu rushed to the bow and roared, then ran back to the stern and took a bamboo pole, stretched it into the water and stirred it, "Come up!"

The wind started to blow on the water, and when the wind blew, Yuan Wu realized that in less than a minute, he was already covered in sweat.

But where the bamboo pole went down, he didn't meet anyone.

"Lin Chengbu!" He roared, "Where are you!"

The wind blew violently with his roar, and he jumped onto the boat next to him, poked the bamboo pole into the water quickly and stirred: "It's going to rain, you come up!"

The bamboo pole was caught underwater, and then Lin Chengbu's face came out of the water, and he looked at him in shock: "Why did you come out?"

"What are you doing!" Yuan Wu yanked the bamboo pole twice, "Come up!"

Lin Chengbu quickly jumped onto the boat: "Aren't you writing something? Why did you suddenly run out?"

"What did you go down for?" Yuan Wu stared at him, gasping for breath.

"I..." Lin Chengbu frowned, hesitated for a long time before saying softly, "Look for my watch."

"Have you found it? Have you found it?" Yuan Wu still stared at him, "Have you found it!"

"...No." Lin Chengbu sighed.

"Why didn't I find you?" Yuan Wu roared.

Lin Chengbu opened his mouth and said nothing, Yuan Wu's logic was impeccable.

After the strong wind blew for a while, big raindrops fell.

Yuan Wu jumped back on his boat, entered the cabin and closed the door.

Lin Chengbu didn't move, staring at Yuan Wu's background in a daze for a while, then squatted in the rain.

Why is it so small, Yuan Wu came out at this time.

Why do I have to go down to look for the watch right now, anyway, if the watch is broken and soaked in water, it is definitely hopeless, it doesn't matter whether it is soaked for an hour or until tomorrow.

He scratched his head dejectedly.

The rain fell hard this time, and the raindrops fell like bullets, smashing the whole world like a double image, the lights of the cages in the distance flickered, and the boat of Yuanwu next to it was also dyed in the rain. A light yellow fluffy ball of light.

Lin Chengbu had no clothes on, and he had nothing to wear. The clothes, trousers, and even shoes that had just been dried were lying on the board of the boat like a torn rag from the rain.

The raindrops hurt his body, and he couldn't open his eyes. In Lin Chengbu's memory, he had never been drenched in rain like this. It seemed that he was separated from the world, and he felt an indescribable loneliness.

The door of Yuan Wu's cabin opened, and a beam of light came over.

Lin Chengbu turned his face away, the light was falling on his face, he frowned and half-closed his eyes, this expression probably wasn't very good-looking, he was afraid of scaring Yuan Wu.

Just when he was about to adjust a smile, Yuan Wu shouted over there: "Come here!"

Then the light went down and fell on the prows of the two boats.

Lin Chengbu felt that he was going crazy. He stood up and started laughing. He didn't know what he was laughing at. When he jumped over, he even wobbled and almost fell to the ground.

"Wipe it up and come in." Yuan Wu threw out a towel.

"Well," Lin Chengbu took the towel and wiped it happily. After a while, he knocked on the cabin door, "I won't be able to wipe it off until tomorrow morning."

"There is a shed at the stern, wouldn't you go there and clean it?" Yuan Wu's irritated voice came from the cabin, "Your IQ is also worthy of fishing for a broken watch."

Lin Chengbu cheerfully ran to the shed at the end of the cabin to wipe off the water on his body: "I went in?"

"En." Yuan Wu responded.

Lin Chengbu pushed open the door and went in, sat on the deck of the boat and wiped his feet, and then remembered, and asked carefully: "Your towel is not for washing your face, I wiped... your feet. "

"The rag for wiping the boards." Yuan Wu said.

"...Oh." Lin Chengbu took a look at the towel in his hand, and only saw it clearly when there was a light. Although the towel was quite new, it looked like it had been used at least twice.

"So happy to be in the rain?" Yuan Wu looked at him who was still smiling, "Why don't you go out and shower for a while, and don't delay carpe diem."

"No," Lin Chengbu threw the rag outside, and said in a low voice, "I'm just...you are so gentle."

"What's wrong with your back?" Yuan Wu suddenly asked.

"Back? I don't know, what's the matter?" Lin Chengbu touched his back with his backhand. He didn't feel it when he first wiped the water. Now he feels his back hurts, "I can't see, there is something wrong." Mirror?"

"No," Yuan Wu pulled out a small medicine box from the pile of clothes next to him, and took out a bottle of alcohol, "I never look in the mirror...you have a cut on your back."

"How could it break..." Lin Chengbu was stunned before he realized, "You just poked me with a bamboo pole."

"How is it possible?" Yuan Wu threw alcohol at his feet, "Wipe it yourself."

"You poked it." Lin Chengbu picked up the alcohol.

"Yes, yes, I poked it," Yuan Wu said impatiently, "What if I poked you, if you don't come up again, I will poke it into a lotus seed for you and go to Dongwan..."

Yuan Wu's words stopped suddenly at this point, and then he stopped making a sound, staring at the computer and typing on the keyboard quickly.

Lin Chengbu put his hands behind his back, and couldn't see where the wound was. He changed four or five positions but failed to apply alcohol to the wound, but he realized that his wound was not small during the change of posture.

"It's awkward," Yuan Wu snapped off the computer, "I'll do it."

Lin Chengbu handed over the alcohol bottle and looked at him in surprise. He couldn't remember how long ago he pulled Yuan Wu's arm, and the experience of being punched and bleeding from the nose was not a thing of the past.

"You help me?" He asked in disbelief.

"Well," Yuan Wu unscrewed the alcohol bottle, "turn around."

"Thank you." Lin Chengbu turned around, the anticipation and excitement suddenly surged up, he didn't know what to say, he just turned his head and looked at Yuan Wu.

After Yuan Wu unscrewed the alcohol, he quickly and without hesitation raised his hand and splashed the alcohol on Lin Chengbu's wound.

"Ah!" Lin Chengbu shouted, and took a big step forward.

"Be strong." Yuan Wu said.

After putting away the medicine box, he took a can of Coke and threw it to Lin Chengbu, and lit another cigarette: "Do you want it?"

"Okay." Lin Chengbu reached for the cigarette case.

Yuan Wu took a puff of cigarette and looked at him: "Is it very expensive?"

"Huh?" Lin Chengbu sat aside, trying to stay as far away as possible, Yuan Wu was very resistant to "strangers".

"That watch." Yuan Wu asked.

"...not expensive," Lin Chengbu lowered his head and lit his cigarette, looking at the deck of the boat, "it's a very cheap watch."

"New?" Yuan Wu asked again.

"It's not new, it's been worn for several years, and sometimes it doesn't go away." Lin Chengbu smiled.

"Then what are you looking for?" Yuan Wu threw an empty jar at his feet, "or is that watch important? The meaning is different?"

Lin Chengbu took the can, flicked the ash into it, and remained silent for a long time: "No, I just got used to it."

Originally, he thought it was meaningful, but he dared not say it.

But when I think about it carefully, I feel that it may not really have any meaning. The only meaning may be to prove that there is a relationship between myself and Yuan Wu.

But now he has nothing to do with Yuan Wu?

Still there.

Both feel that the other's mental state is not so good. Two people explore each other. He doesn't know what Yuan Wu is thinking in his heart. He only knows that he is doing Tai Chi in circles.

"Here." Yuan Wu took off the watch in his hand.

"Give it to me?" Lin Chengbu was stunned.

"Well, don't go into the water anymore," Yuan Wu said, "Water has powers you don't know. You think it is transparent and you can see through everything, but in fact..."

"Actually, from the moment you saw that it was transparent, you had already fallen into its trap." Lin Chengbu took the watch, touched it gently in his hand, and said in a low voice.

Yuan Wu's hand stayed in the air for a while before taking it back, and did not speak again.

Lin Chengbu just looked at the watch with his head down, as if he was asleep, but his fingers were still moving, drawing circles gently on the dial.

Yuan Wu's gaze returned to the screen. What Lin Chengbu said was in the penultimate paragraph of his document today, written a few minutes before he called Lin Chengbu in.

He didn't look back to see if he could read the words on his screen through the crack of the hatch, theoretically impossible, but who knows.

Yuan Wu is very familiar with this sentence, so familiar that he can blurt it out, so familiar that his back feels cold when he says it, so familiar that it doesn't seem like something he has thought about in his mind, maybe he has heard it many times in other places, So it's not surprising that Lin Chengbu knew about it.

I just don't remember.

The torrential rain outside has no intention of stopping, with thunder crackling, the sound of the violent rain hasn't even changed in tone since the beginning.

Yuan Wu's hands were typing on the keyboard, occasionally there would be a pause, and occasionally he would lean on the mat behind him and stare at the screen in a daze.

Lin Chengbu kept looking at him, but his eyes never lifted up.

Until his hands stopped and his eyes became empty.

Lin Chengbu coughed lightly, his voice was drowned in the rainstorm, Yuan Wu didn't seem to hear it.

He raised his voice again and cleared his throat, Yuan Wu moved, and looked at him with some confusion. After staying for several seconds, the confusion in his eyes disappeared, and he closed the computer.

"I'm sleepy." Yuan Wu said.

"Oh," Lin Chengbu quickly stood up, "Then I... let's go."

"You just stay there," Yuan Wu said, got up and went to the stern to wash up, and then went back to the cabin with a face full of rain, "Damn, it's raining."

"How do you usually take a shower?" Lin Chengbu thought about it.

"Do you want to wash?" Yuan Wu pointed outside, "There is a shower, pump the water in that bucket."

"If you don't wash it, I'll ask." Lin Chengbu smiled.

Yuan Wu put away the computer and the small table, leaving an open space for the bed, but there was a lot of space left, and Lin Chengbu thought it would be quite comfortable to fall asleep.

"If you want to sleep, there is a small blanket," Yuan Wu leaned on the pillow, "take it yourself, don't touch me."

"En." Lin Chengbu nodded.

He is not sleepy now, or he is very sleepy now, but he does not want to sleep, and the uncontrollable excitement in his heart is almost trembling out of his pores.

How long?Three months, five months, one year, two years, staying with Yuan Wu so peacefully is like a distant dream.

"How long have you been like this?" Yuan Wu asked.

"What kind?" Lin Chengbu looked at him.

"It's just... thinking that I know someone or something." Yuan Wu said.

"I think I know you myself?" Lin Chengbu sighed heavily in his heart.

"Well, do you have an idea? How long has it been like this?" Yuan Wu asked with a kind tone.

"It's... quite a long time, maybe more than a year or almost two years," Lin Chengbu replied, "What about you?"

"Me?" Yuan Wu looked at him a little puzzled.

"You're just like this, confused," Lin Chengbu looked at the cabin, "How long have you been living on the boat in a muddleheaded way?"

"Always." Yuan Wu said.

Lin Chengbu didn't quite understand what "always" meant.

Always confused, always living on a boat, or always... don't know.

"Have you seen a doctor?" Yuan Wu slid down, lay flat and pulled a small blanket over his stomach.

"I've seen it." Lin Chengbu hesitated, then raised his head, "The doctor said that if I can find the root, I will be fine."

"Gen'er?" Yuan Wu's closed eyes opened again, and he glanced down at him, "Are you rootless?"

"I..." Lin Chengbu was stunned. He was very careful when talking to Yuan Wu. But what if there is no way to remake the nonsense about sending ghosts.

But I never expected Yuan Wu to say such a sentence.

Subconsciously, he followed Yuan Wu's eyes and glanced at his crotch: "Yes."

Yuan Wu suddenly laughed, and he was so happy that he didn't stop for a long time.

"Hey!" Lin Chengbu sighed forcefully, dumbfounded, "How old are you, you are so childish!"

"How old are you, sir." Yuan Wu turned his head to look at him.

"25, uncle." Lin Chengbu replied reflexively.

"Oh." Yuan Wu smiled, closed his eyes, and touched the side with his hand. The lights in the cabin went out, leaving only a small night light at the stern.

Lin Chengbu was stunned for a long time in the darkness.

He knew that Yuan Wu's forgetfulness was not pretended, no one could pretend for so long, so naturally, even those memories that appeared and disappeared suddenly were transformed so naturally.

But those memories that he didn't have at all, still existed like this, without any concealment.

How old are you, sir.

25 Uncle.

Lin Chengbu lowered his head, pinched the center of his brows, and flicked away the small drop of water from the corner of his eye.

He sighed, feeling helpless and a little wronged.