Personality

I'm redder than ever.

After replacing the dead Yamashita as the first actor, the ratings of the new drama hit a record high.Those newspapers and magazines that used to report my "crimes" at length, now all publish praises for my acting skills in detail, and even my daily itinerary.I didn't know that the public's psychology could change so quickly overnight, and they accepted so calmly that the murderer in their eyes turned into a detective with superhuman intelligence.

If there's anything I'm really happy about, there's probably only one: no one has discovered my close relationship with Kazuya, and I have my own way of dealing with the paparazzi.As long as I have free time, I will definitely rush to his apartment as soon as possible.If you can't meet, you should also send him a text message, and take the trouble to tell him the big and small things from this morning until before going to bed.Usually I send ten, and he only replies to me one.

And he doesn't like modern communication tools, just as he doesn't like going to the streets during the day.In that sense, he resembles a nocturnal animal more than I do.I like to go to bars and nightclubs with loud voices, just drink and leave without saying anything.I like convenience stores that are open 24 hours a day. I often buy a large bag of various foods late at night, but I seldom touch them. I put them in the refrigerator to let them rot slowly.I sleep almost all the time during the day, and only turn on the computer at night, write those weird and gloomy words, and then watch them be printed into typefaces and read by countless hands in bright or dark places.

Such a decadent life with almost no sound has changed a lot since my appearance.At least the food in the huge refrigerator at his house filled my stomach without waiting for it to spoil and fall into the trash.

He is also a person who is not surprised by anything.Whether I'm scrambling in the kitchen yelling about whether to put water or vegetables in a hot pot, or I'm messing around to dry a load of expensive clothes that he and I usually wear, he's always barefoot , Sitting on the clean floor from time to time between writing, looking up at me and smiling slightly.

I never told him that he is very warm when he smiles, but cold when he is not smiling.I would just wear a ridiculous bear apron, with hands full of flour and vegetable juice, and suddenly hug him from behind.He was not scared by me once, but every time he obediently asked me for a kiss like a fool.

Kazuya Kazuya, I worked so hard for you today, you have to give me a kiss.

Kazuya Kazuya, I just dried a large bucket of clothes, you want to comfort me and give me a kiss......

After kissing and kissing, it is inevitable that there will be more to come. After a few times, Kazuya angrily warned me that he is not allowed to hug me without washing his hands!

So every time I ask for a reward, I will develop a good habit of washing my hands.

Speaking of this, Jin laughed softly again, his eyes stayed on the distant seaside, as if he was still living in those yesterdays that he and Kazuya spent together.I still didn't speak. It is extremely disrespectful to disturb someone's memory.My years of working habits have made me develop the habit of being a good listener.All I need to do is to quietly and patiently listen to JIN tell his story slowly.After a while, Jin withdrew his gaze, looked at the clouds in the sky that were gradually dimming, and said to me, you know what?

In fact, I have always been afraid of such a dusk.Especially after that happened.One evening, I sneaked into his apartment without telling him.Since it was my 22nd birthday, I wanted to surprise him.Let him accompany me on my first birthday just the two of us.

However, when I opened the door of the bedroom, I found that the one who usually slept on the wide double bed was not there.I searched from room to room, and finally heard Kazuya's voice outside the bathroom.He seemed to be talking to someone.I always thought I was the only one who was and was allowed to come and go freely in and out of his apartment.But it seems not now, there is still a person with a boyish voice who can enter and leave Kazuya's house.

I admit that I was a little concerned at the time, and even wanted to open the door and go in to see what kind of person it was.However, in the end I suppressed my curiosity and did not let He Ye discover my visit.

Because I heard Kazuya talking to that boy, yes, it was indeed a boy's voice, with a childish nasal voice.They spoke a language that I couldn't understand at all. My Japanese was not very good, but my English was extremely fluent, and I could understand Spanish and distinguish French.But it was obvious that the boy did not speak one of the above languages.I was very impressed by this voice, not only because I was visiting with friends from other countries, but also because of the sorrow overflowing in that voice, like the tide overflowing a dam, the surging despair.

It seemed that while talking, he started to cry, and Kazuya's voice was surprisingly gentle.It was a tenderness that he had never shown when facing me.Carefully speaking softly to comfort him.

At that moment, I really envied that boy who was treated tenderly by Kazuya.But out of politeness and respect, and also out of my pride, I finally left Kazuya's residence without a sound, staying at home bored by myself, and spending an unaccompanied birthday.

When it was almost twelve o'clock in the morning, the cake I bought back with great interest had gradually melted and softened on the table alone.And also suddenly called me.

Jen, it's me.His voice was as quiet as ever.Let's meet, I want to see you.

Having said that, Jin looked up at me, with both helplessness and joy in his eyes.That was the first time Kazuya called me in the three months we had been together, saying he wanted to see me.

I was so happy at the time that I completely forgot to hear him have an intimate conversation with someone else.I said, Kazuya, I miss you too, shall we meet right away?

Just as I finished saying this, the doorbell rang happily.I immediately jumped up from the sofa and rushed to open the door.Sure enough, my husband was standing outside the door, holding a white chocolate cake, waiting for me to rush up to give him a suffocating hug.

But that night, the two cakes we bought ended up melting.Because from the wee hours to the morning, we spend it in the double bed at my house.Compared with sweet and greasy cakes, I always prefer to make an obedient birthday present with him.

He was sleeping soundly beside me, and I tossed him all night.Looking at his clean sleeping face, I suddenly had an illusion. Is this really the cold and charming man I saw in the dim light of the bar?Or is he like that an illusion at all, and now this Kazuya who fell asleep without defense is the real Kamenashi Kazuya?

I am not suitable for thinking about problems, so I simply choose not to.Even if there is no urging of lust, as long as I hold He in my arms quietly, I already feel satisfied.

I can accept Kazuya in any appearance, aloof, indifferent, smiling, angry, I have imagined all the expressions on his face, imagined all the expressions he may show.

But I never thought I'd see one like this and also.

For a while, the phone in the apartment kept ringing, and I wouldn't answer it, and I wasn't allowed to answer it, just letting it ring over and over again.He told me that it was the call from the editor to urge the manuscript, and it would be best not to answer it.Maybe because of rushing to draft, his temper became irritable, and his smile towards me was much less.After a week of ringing at home, he finally disconnected the phone.

I won't say anything, just keep researching new recipes, trying to make some earth-shattering food to amuse and have fun.And also have serious fetishes.What he can't live without is not a mobile phone, not a computer, not all advanced communication tools, but an old and broken rabbit doll.I could tell he was very attached to this doll as he would always keep it within reach.Even if he goes to the street, he will carry a DIOR bag specially so that he can hold his beloved rabbit.

I'm a very possessive person.I just want and also belong to me alone.But obviously, Kazuya didn't think so.Although he said he believed in me, he never said he loved me.I can't get rid of my pride, so I only ask him this question in a dazed way during the intense sex with him.However, every time, he is only willing to respond to my enthusiasm with a charming moan, rather than an affirmative and absolute I love you.

I couldn't wait for him to say these three words willingly, so I had to force myself not to say it first.

These three words have been lingering in my throat, but as long as I face Shanghe Ye's quiet face, I can't make any meaningful sounds.

He also likes shopping, which is the same as me.But I don't like to throw away the things I have bought so hard, and Kazuya is very willing.It is also one of his stubborn habits to throw away piles of items that he does not need or has lost interest in.But usually when I'm not at home, he will calm down and clean up.

Only once is an exception.At that time, when he was sorting out a lot of unnecessary clothes and sundries in his room, I was cooking a pot of his favorite fish head tofu soup in the kitchen.Kazuya, a clean freak, got on something dirty, ran into the bathroom to take a shower without saying a word, and asked me to help him get a towel in a hurry.

I ran into the bedroom and rummaged through the mess to find a new towel.Then found that by accident.

A document similar to a medical record, the patient's name is Kamenashi Kazuya, and the treating physician's name is Sato Akechi.

During my intimate time with Kazuya, I did not notice any illness in him.On the contrary, Kazuya is much healthier than me, and I still get a little cold occasionally, but Kazuya is completely a healthy baby.

My curiosity is strong, but it doesn't mean that I will privately read other people's privacy, especially the ones I love.Of course I hope he's willing to share his secret with me, but I won't get to the bottom of it if he doesn't.

Towel in hand, I was about to put the medical records back where they belonged—a black drawer in the closet that would go unnoticed.Kazuya's voice sounded slightly annoyed behind me, and he asked me in a questioning tone.

What are you doing? !Why are you peeking at my stuff?

I don't know whether it is because of the relationship between writing and social isolation for a long time that he speaks directly and without concealment, or he really feels that I have peeked at something he has been hiding very well.Anyway, Kazuya looked really, really angry at that time, with sharp eyes, and before I could explain, he yelled at me to go back, right away.

I bit my lip aggrievedly, pulled off the little bear's apron, and didn't care whether the soup in the kitchen had overflowed, grabbed my bag, slammed the door and left.

This is the first fight we've had in half a year.In fact, it's not a quarrel, because Kazuya just told me to go back, and I ran away angrily.

This is actually the Cold War.