coward

Li Qinghe walked into the kitchen, put his schoolbag at the door of the kitchen, and sighed as he looked at the messy kitchen.No matter how he packed up before he left, it was always a mess when he got home.

Li Qinghe swept the floor first, and the trash can under the sink was already full of rubbish, emitting a stench from time to time.He wiped the tabletop again with the rag.When the lid was lifted, the bottom of the pot was rusted.

Li Qinghe brushed it twice with warm water and still had an iron smell.There is no white vinegar at home, so I had to add some water to the pot and boil it, and then brush it later.

He turned around and found that there was nothing left to serve as food for tonight. He stood at the kitchen door and glanced at his father in the main room.The hands clasped on the door frame clasped, leaving crescent-shaped fingernail marks on the wooden door.

Li Qinghe took a deep breath, and went straight to the refrigerator. The vegetable leaves seemed to be old for many days, and they were already soft and sticky. Fortunately, a tomato was not too bad, only a few spots appeared.

He returned to the kitchen with a tomato, and found half a pack of noodles and an egg in the bowl.

Dinner is settled.

Li Qinghe washed the pot again with hot water, added some water to boil, washed the tomatoes, and cut them into small pieces.Just as they were cutting, there was a sound of throwing something in the main room: "Are you sick! Why are you so noisy?! How can I sleep!"

Li Qinghe stopped, not daring to move.

When he brought the bowl of tomato and egg noodles to the dinner table, his father said that it looked terrible, so the bowl of noodles accidentally spilled on his chest.His dad slammed the door and went out.

How to do it?

He knelt on the ground and stuffed the scattered noodles into his mouth one by one with his hands.

Pain and despair spread in my chest, and a coquettish rose bloomed from my barren chest.

Li Qinghe was 12 years old that year.

……

"How much did you take?" Li Yongfu rummaged through Li Qinghe's clothes, "Didn't you steal it?! The money is in the cabinet over there!"

"You didn't get a penny after going in for so long?!"

Li Qinghe lowered his head and wept silently.

How funny, his dad asked him to go in and steal the boss's things on the grounds of shopping.

He shook his head and refused.

"Ah, it hurts...Dad"

His hair was caught in his father's hands, and he was forced to throw his head back. His scalp hurt like it was about to be ripped off.

Li Qinghe felt the world humming.It was like a monster screaming in his ear.

Li Qinghe received two slaps on the face.

"Go! I have no money now! I can't support you anymore, so you should think about it for me! Go to the counter, go, see, there are cigarettes there, take a few more boxes! There is money in the counter, take Come out! The boss won't find out! Go! If you are found, run away! He, mother, go!" Li Yongfu said, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

I sold my body to the devil, and I am imprisoned in darkness ever since.

Li Qinghe was discovered, and the boss watched him stuff the money into his clothes, and went to get the cigarette again with shaking hands.

People get loot.

The boss's family kept pushing and shoving Li Qinghe, pushing him onto the shelf, and his forehead was torn.

"My Qinghe will never steal or rob, and will always be upright and kind."

"Qinghe did the right thing, mother is very happy."

"You are my mother's pride."

……

I was lying on the ground, my body was in pain, and a group of people surrounded me, pointing at me and cursing.

My own father stood by, didn't come up to pull me up, didn't say a word for me, just gave me a look and left.

I curled up, covering my head, I was in so much pain.

My head hurts.

I seem to see my mother.

She is waving to me.

She has such a nice smile.

mom,

don't want me

take me away.

I am very obedient.

……

That day was Li Qinghe's 12th birthday.

Li Qinghe woke up from his sleep, the door outside was smashed and banged, he felt that the door would collapse in the next second.

Before he could put on his shoes, he got out of bed and opened the door.He didn't worry if the door would be broken with one kick.

Because that kick missed the door and kicked him in the stomach.so lucky.

He staggered back a few steps and fell to sit on the ground. He saw his father's eyes were red, he stepped forward and grabbed his collar and pushed it hard on the ground. Li Qinghe hit the corner of the table with his back, he groaned, Cold sweat dripped from his forehead.

"Damn! I lost again today! It's all you, the loser! I let you out to support you. You are kind, and I don't repay you at all! Where's the money?! Ah? Say! You Where did you hide the money?"

Li Qinghe lay on the cold ground, clutching his waist, his collar was wet with sweat, and the pale young man wept desperately.

Li Yongfu rummaged around in the house, broke a lot of things, but found nothing.Going to the main room again, he kicked the boy lying on the ground in the stomach.Li Qinghe couldn't make a sound in pain, hot tears rolled down his face, he shrank into a ball, hugged his body tightly.

I fell into the abyss, who will save me.

I can't figure out the meaning of living. If living is to be tortured like this, I am ready to die.

Who can help me.

……

Li Qinghe was 13 years old that year.

It's not that Li Qinghe didn't resist.

His neighbors were not surprised by the beating, squinted his eyes, and didn't see him when he saw him.

That night Li Qinghe took advantage of Li Yongfu's drunkenness and stole his mobile phone. When he was about to run out with the mobile phone, a call rang, and the ringtone echoed in the room. The phone was in Li Qinghe's hand. He squatted down with his head down.

When he turned his head, Li Yongfu was standing behind him.

"what!--"

He was hoarse, and three cigarette burns were printed on his collarbone.

His own father threw him out the door, and he crawled and passed out in front of an auto repair shop.

……

His brother said that he has a cold face and a soft heart, and when others say good things, he becomes soft-hearted when he admits his mistakes.

Also blame Li Qinghe Mingjian, his father who beat him all day, every time he finished beating him, he hugged him madly and cried, asking him to forgive him, crying for him to beat him, begging him not to leave.

He said: Your mother has already left, and your father is the only child. Your mother must be sad when you leave.

He said: Dad was confused, Dad knew he was wrong, please forgive Dad, we two will wait for your mother to come back.Your mother will be back.

He said: Your mother definitely hopes that our father and I can live a good life, you are the only family member of mine.

Li Qinghe bit his fingers and wept under the quilt, but he didn't escape.

The teeth marks were deeply embedded in his fingers, and the pain was about to peel him off.

……

"Qinghe, my mother wove a red rope for you. My Qinghe will be safe and healthy."

"Qinghe has to be good, a man can't cry anymore."

"'The voice is clear and harmonious.' Mother's Qinghe will be a clear and modest boy in the future, and be gentle with the person he likes."

"Qinghe, you have to be with mom forever, mom can't live without you."

"No matter when you must live, only if you live well can you have hope."

"Mom loves you..."

……

The woman in my memory has waist-length hair and a pure white dress. The small petals on it are like the snow in early winter. They are crystal clear and melt in the palm of my hand.

My mother doesn't like to laugh, but when she talks to him, she is soft and gentle, with the gentleness of a Jiangnan woman.

My mother was always in tears, and when she burst into tears, Li Qinghe wanted to hold her teardrops in his hands so distressed.

She knelt down and stretched out her hand, "Come on, Qing and mom hug."

……

"Your mother doesn't want you anymore, your mother ran away with someone else! Hahaha, it's good to run away, that bitch doesn't want you anymore. Even if you die, no one will care about you!" Li Yongfu's crazy face was in front of him again, he After drinking a lot of wine, he swayed and stared at Li Qinghe, and slapped him with his hand.Seeing blood dripping from the corner of his mouth, he laughed happily.

……

He seemed to fall in love with the thrill of the blade cutting across his skin.

The cold blade slices through epithelial tissue, passes through capillaries, punctures veins, or, perhaps, penetrates arteries.

The blood flows from the body, but the brain is very awake.

Li Qinghe really wanted to leave like this, hiding in a corner, waiting for the blood to drain from his filthy body, the blood soaked into the soil, and would only stain a small piece of land red.It may not be long before a flower will bloom in that land.When his body is completely oxidized and decomposed, he will disappear forever in this not-so-good world.

or……

Li Qinghe pressed hard on the incision, and the blood soaked his clothes little by little. The pain made him tremble continuously, until the blood stopped flowing out of the body violently, and finally it only leaked out gently and slowly.

He knew that he was going to wait for tomorrow's dusk in agony and pain.

I have to suffer through decades.

……

The pale boy lay on the ground pressing the wound, weeping silently.

The world is upside down in my eyes, there is no black and white, only barrenness.

……

"Qinghe, mother loves you."

……

Mom, how are you doing?

If you're doing well, why don't you want me...

If it's not good... not good...

You must have a good time...

Mom, where have you been, take me away...

……

Li Qinghe opened his eyes, looked at the white ceiling, and was stunned.

Turning his head slightly, it was Li Xiluo who looked surprised.

He raised his hand to touch his face, and felt the coldness of his hand.

Li Xiluo took out a tissue and gently wiped away Li Qinghe's tears.

Li Xiluo looked at the child who had been staring at him. Wherever he moved, his eyes followed.

Li Qinghe woke up for 5 minutes and still felt like he was dreaming.

"What's wrong?" Li Xiluo bent down and asked.

Li Qinghe blinked, lowered his head and did not speak.

"How do you feel? You lay down all night, and I'll take you to wrap the wound later."

Li Xiluo reached out and touched the forehead of the young man with his mouth slightly open, and heaved a sigh of relief, "I don't have a fever."

Li Xiluo turned around and poured water, her eyes darkened.He tried his best to maintain a normal tone just now, and he still didn't dare to ask him about his injury.

Xu Yitang's parents drove a few children to the hospital.

Along the way, Xu Yitang's mother looked at the child with a pale face and was extremely worried, "How did the child get hurt? What's the matter?" Seeing that the child was silent, Xu Yitang's mother kept holding his hand carefully.

Li Qinghe didn't hide, and looked at the hands covering his hands in a daze.

Very warm, as warm as my mother.

Xu Yitang's father was driving the car, looking through the rearview mirror from time to time.

The carriage swayed, and Li Xiluo slightly helped the young man sitting beside him.

The child began to secretly look at him again.

When he turned to look at him, Li Qinghe turned his head away again.Keep your back straight and try to sit upright.

"Am I scary?" Li Xiluo approached Li Qinghe's ear and asked in a low voice.

Li Qinghe shook his head and shook his head.

No matter how much Li Xiluo asked him, he stopped talking. The tips of his ears were slightly red.

When Li Xiluo saw it, she couldn't help laughing.

The child didn't complain of pain all over his body, and he didn't speak when asked, and he was too embarrassed to see him.Tsk, a strange child.

When they arrived at the hospital, Li Qinghe was carefully re-wrapped the wound and applied medicine under the distressed but shocked eyes of the nurse.

At the end, I whispered to the nurse thank you sister.The little nurse glanced at the clean and quiet boy who didn't cry out in pain, then glanced at the two little brothers standing beside her, and smiled blushingly.

But Li Xiluo couldn't laugh anymore.

Xu Yitang's father paid the fee, and his mother was busy, buying breakfast and washing fruit. In the end, she didn't have time to touch the child's hair with red eyes in a hurry, "Auntie has to go to work. I will come to see you after work. Let Xiao Luo He Yitang will take care of you, okay?"

Li Qinghe nodded slightly.

Before going out, he explained a few words to his son, and then stepped on his high heels and got into the car with Dad Xu.

The door was gently closed, and it was extremely quiet for a while.

Xu Yitang had never seen Li Qinghe at all. The two of them brought him back last night to see the injuries on his body, and they had a close look at him just now. They didn't know what to say.

Li Xiluo sat on the stool next to the bed, cut an apple into pieces, peeled an orange, and tore off all the white silk on it before stopping, showing no expression on his face.

And Li Qinghe realized after sitting in the car that his injury had already been treated, that is to say...

Li Qinghe has been struggling for a long time since getting in the car.

His downcast eyelashes trembled slightly.

He is afraid.

"Qinghe" Li Xiluo yelled as he looked at the boy half lying on the hospital bed.

The voice was not loud, but the boy's body shook a bit.

Li Xiluo stuck a toothpick in an apple and handed it to Li Qinghe. Li Qinghe lowered his head and didn't move. After a while, the boy reached out to take it, and put it into his mouth, with the left cheek bulging out. .

"Can... tell me, what's the matter with your injury?" What should be asked is always asked.

Li Xiluo has lived in the same dormitory with the boy on the bed for more than two weeks. When he goes to bed at night, he plays games all day and everywhere. Li Qinghe sits at the small table and studies with a warm yellow desk lamp in front of him. The boy is not like white. As seen in the day, the lines of the shoulders, waist and back are no longer so straight and straight. In the dark night, the soft light climbs up the young man's back, stroking and softening it.

The light overflowed from the front of the young man. From Li Xiluo's perspective, it looked like a warm sun embraced by a quiet young man.

The two quietly went about their own business without disturbing each other, and the dormitory between the two gave birth to a bit of warmth.

Although they didn't say a few words, Li Xiluo still felt that Li Qinghe was different from others.

Although he didn't know many people.

"Last night, did you know those people?" Li Xiluo asked carefully.

No.

Do not ask.

Li Qinghe bowed his head and remained silent.

"Is your house... all right?"

The young man kept his head down, his drooping eyelashes were trembling uncontrollably, his hands were clutching the white sheets, his fingertips were turning white, and his hands were still pricked with needles, making them extremely fragile.

No.

Please don't ask.

"Qinghe, don't do this."

Li Xiluo stretched out his hand and slowly caressed the young man's thin fingers, and gently pulled the bed sheet out from between his overstretched fingers.

His god held his hand and said: Don't do this, there is me.

The pale teenager burst into tears.

The pond fish kisses the birds,

The fallen leaves miss the tall branches,

Dusk embraces dawn.

And I crawled on the ground and met you who were out of reach.

The author has something to say: the person you like must go and meet,

The words of admiration must be spoken out in person.

today is sunny.

Thank you for your support, thank you for your likes.

Also, I have a lot of zang talk. If it is changed, it is very difficult for me to pass the trial. Alas, in short, I don’t know how to do this thing.

Happy reading!

? (The same sunflower today)