under the rose

For the next month or so, Wen Shichuan stayed in the studio, thanking guests behind closed doors, and editing the film.

He cut it himself, and an editor helped him. He cut the film and forgot to sleep and eat. He smoked extraordinarily fiercely. The editing room was filled with smoke. I will never go in again, and I will wait for the film with peace of mind.Wen Shichuan has never found it so difficult to edit a film. Yu Xiangwan has always praised him for being willing to "play hard". The shots he shot so hard, he just didn't want it, and cut it all at once.But Fu Xingyun's face is so good-looking on the screen, this kind of good-looking is not limited to the surface, he is like a flower slowly blooming, with the development of the movie story, it will open up little by little.

The end of the movie is sad, but the performance tension of the actors did not slump, but reached the peak at the end.Fu Xingyun's face is magical, especially when he is crying, his eyes are lowered and the corners of his mouth are curled up, which makes people's hearts almost break.

The editor was used to working with Wen Shichuan, he asked Wen Shichuan with a cigarette in his mouth: "This actor looks really good, he looks familiar, who is it?" After smoking a cigarette and saying Fu Xingyun's name, the editor muttered, "It's him, why didn't I think it looked so good before."

After a rough cut, Wen Shichuan carefully sorted out the unused clips in the order of the story and put them into the hard drive.He watched the film several times from beginning to end by himself, from dawn to dusk.Finally, the camera was fixed on the close-up of Fu Xingyun's longing expression. Wen Shichuan, holding a cigarette butt that had been extinguished, reached out and touched the screen with his finger, caressing the delicate eyebrows and eyes.

He started to fall in love with boys when he was in high school, and even more so after he went to college.He is popular, and falling in love is as common to him as eating and drinking. If you like, we can talk about it, and if we disagree, we will separate. There is no entanglement at all.Later he met Fu Xingyun, he never thought that falling in love could be so traumatic.

They can do nothing or eat for a whole day, just sex non-stop.During the quarrel, his throat became hoarse, Fu Xingyun could cry until the corners of his eyes hurt, and he could smoke all night.They also fought hand to hand, almost like a scuffle, Wen Shichuan's body was covered with scratches, and Fu Xingyun's wrist and ankle were also red.

On the day of the real separation, Wen Shichuan silently sent Fu Xingyun to the station and watched him leave.When he left, he held back his tears, pursed his lips stubbornly, and got into the car without looking back. Wen Shichuan stood there, watched the car drive away, and stood there for a long time before returning.

After returning, he was always silent, what to do, he still remembered that he edited a short film all night, after dawn, he felt heart palpitations, lying on his back on the bed, a lot of soot was scattered on the bed sheet, he thought about Fu Xingyun going to lose his temper Yes, after I reached out to brush it away, I suddenly realized that Fu Xingyun was gone.

Neither he nor Fu Xingyun's sexual orientation was made public, and their relationship was naturally not made public either.Friends who are acquainted with each other may have guessed, but out of respect and propriety, I didn't ask.Fu Xingyun left, and he was left alone, so naturally no one would comfort him openly.

During the six years of the breakup, Wen Shichuan sometimes felt in a trance. This relationship was full of illusion, as if no one knew about it except him.

It dawned on him.

There is such a passage in Greek mythology, Venus had a tryst with his lover and was bumped into by the God of Silence. In order to protect the reputation of his mother, Cupid gave the God of Silence a rose and begged him not to publicize the matter, so the God of Silence And kept silent.Therefore, in English, "undertherose" has the meaning of "silent, silent".

Wen Shichuan sometimes regrets illogically, why did he draw a rose for Fu Xing with the cloud pattern on his back.This seems to be a kind of prophecy, indicating that their relationship will start and end without anyone knowing.

Fu Xingyun's popularity, he knows.That period of time was when he was most depressed.He began to doubt himself whether his talent and enthusiasm would be consumed, whether it was meaningful to persist to the end, whether if he compromised, everything would lead to a different and better future.

He even made an out-and-out commercial film with a Lunar New Year theme. There was nothing in the script worth scrutinizing, and the performances of the actors were ridiculous, but he still bit the bullet and made it. Not surprisingly, after the filming, in addition to making him special Except for the discomfort, there is no splash.

Later, as Fu Xingyun became more and more popular during that time, his appearance appeared more and more on TV screens and billboards.

Wen Shichuan can choose not to watch TV, but there is no way to prevent himself from passing by those large billboards.Sometimes when passing by, he would stop, but more often, he hurried past without turning his eyes.Sometimes he couldn't help but search for various information about Fu Xingyun, and saw the gossip about him and his agent, and saw the marketing account maliciously and pretentiously fabricating sex transactions between him, his agent, and investors.

On the one hand, he soberly advised himself that the media always write about the side that attracts attention; on the other hand, he felt that love and jealousy merged together, like a high concentration of sulfuric acid, flowing through his blood vessels throughout his body , "sizzling" in his body corroded his sanity.

In the end, he could only force himself to block the information.He changed his life in several cities, got in touch with all walks of life and all kinds of people, listened, watched and felt, wrote and made movies, wrote more and made more films.Then there was their reunion on the roadside in the middle of the night that day, when Fu Xingyun was drunk and vomited, he handed over a handkerchief.

He knew at a glance that Fu Xingyun was not happy.The more Fu Xingyun tried his best to pretend, the happier he became.

But Wen Shichuan couldn't help reminding himself that they were already separated, and they should go their own way and do their own things.But many things are easier said than done.Things were repeated in such entanglements, just like what he said to stimulate Fu Xingyun - "It's easy to do."He also used this excuse to numb himself, to have a lover, these are just a matter of effort.

Until Yu Xiangwan handed him the movie script with the same name as Fu Xingyun.

Yu Xiangwan is always the keenest, like a predator stalking in the jungle, with amazing intuition, waiting for the opportunity to move.She smiled slyly: "My name is not bad."

It was good, he couldn't resist it at all.

Neither of them can reject each other, unless the distance between them is so far that they cannot touch each other at all. Once they can touch each other, they are really like the positive and negative poles of a magnet, attracting each other.

Fu Xingyun asked him what he thought, but he actually didn't know how to answer.

That day they hugged, and at night they made love.It was a long time since they touched each other's souls. When he saw the rose on Fu Xingyun's bare back, he loved and hated it just like he did with Xingyun.Life is not either-or, and love is not total love. There is hatred, jealousy, pity, and loneliness in it.

But once the short-term soul contact passed, there was a layer of paper between them, with scruples and reservations.

Facing Fu Xingyun, there were two voices in his mind, one voice, mellow and seductive, telling him, go love him.The other voice was ruthless, provocative, and punished him.

He felt like he was about to be torn in two.

That morning, Wen Shichuan woke up and saw Fu Xingyun in his arms, breathing steadily, the morning sun was warm, birds were chirping, separation and suspicion were hidden, everything looked so gentle and lovely.

He looked at Fu Xingyun's sleeping face and thought, after being separated for six years, it turns out that I love you more than I imagined.

The author says:

Hear the teacher's mental journey.

What's the matter, my chapter word count is less than expected (.