under the rose

The filming schedule of the film is pushed back day by day.

Both Wen Shichuan and Yu Xiangwan seem to be casual people, but they are extremely rigorous in their work. The filming process of the film is almost the same as the original plan, or it may be the stretched funds that make them rigorous.Soon, the filming of the movie "Xingyun" will come to an end.

It was different from every crew that Fu Xingyun had participated in in the past. They seemed to be far away from the entire entertainment circle, and they didn't do anything other than making movies.There are no true or false drafts, no "accidentally" leaked Reuters, and even Wen Shichuan's own studio's social networking account has not updated the shooting process.

Fu Xingyun was in a hurry at the beginning, but later he was assimilated by this rhythm, and concentrated on immersing himself in this southwest town and in this lonely movie story.

In the movie "Xingyun", the last shot was shot in a dark corridor.

The protagonist played by Fu Xingyun always mentions that he has a girlfriend who bought a new house in the building next door to him and is currently renovating it. Fu Xingyun always goes to supervise the work for her, chats with the decorator, and asks about Check the price, discuss the location of the wooden cabinet, and fulfill the obligations of the host.The decorator has also gotten to know him well, and sometimes he even asks for his suggestions, and there are exchanges between them.

Sometimes when the decoration workers left, the door was left open. Fu Xingyun pushed the door and walked in. Walking along the rudimentary house, from the entrance, the living room to the bedroom, and the balcony, he thought as he walked, that there would be some scenes of living here in the future. A strange satisfaction.

When he returned to his building, the housewives were still discussing enthusiastically that a thief seemed to have broken into the corridor recently. When they saw Fu Xingyun coming home, they, who had never talked to each other before, asked casually, "What happened at home?" No thief."It seemed that he hadn't talked to anyone for a long time, and Fu Xingyun was at a loss for a while.

He thought for a while and replied, "Yes."

The housewives became interested, chattering and chattering, asking, "What did you steal?"

Fu Xingyun looked back at them at the end of the corridor - in front of his own room door: "Eat my green peel orange."

The housewives were still discussing non-stop. Fu Xingyun opened the door and returned to his empty home. He sat on the recliner chair he usually liked to sit on. His favorite sour green peel oranges were piled up in a large transparent glass bowl. A few orange peels with five petals neatly peeled off are his usual method, and he ate them last night.

He picked up an orange again, and the torn orange peel was torn into small pieces with different styles, which were piled up in a corner of the coffee table, in a mess, like the marks left by thieves who had come in and left.

At this time, a young woman appeared in the empty house next door to supervise the work, and the workers teased that your boyfriend came here more frequently than you.The young woman turned pale with fright, saying that she bought a house for a family of three, and where did her boyfriend come from.The decoration workers looked at each other in blank dismay, embarrassingly off topic.

Fu Xingyun sat alone beside the torn orange peel, looking at the door that was almost never knocked on, silent like a cloud in the sky.

The sound of insects outside the window gradually increased, the picture stopped abruptly, and the movie ended.

From the beginning to the end, he is alone, without a girlfriend or a thief. Everything is because he is eager to connect with others. The more he desires, the more pitiful and sad he looks. This is a movie about loneliness.

After the last scene was filmed, everyone present fell into a long silence. After a long time, Wen Shichuan took the lead in exhaling a long breath, and then fragmentary congratulations sounded, and the silent atmosphere was broken. The son returned to the lively world.Fu Xingyun sat on the recliner for a long time without moving, and suddenly felt extremely tired, forced a smile, stood up and returned to his room.

He was sitting in the room, on the bed that he had slept in for months.

Fu Xingyun suddenly discovered that from the beginning to the end of this movie, the main character has no name. This person is you, me, and himself.Fu Xingyun thought a lot, he thought about the past few years, and the past few years.Since he was a child, his parents had been arguing constantly, and after an accident, he went to the orphanage and grew up in the orphanage.He is a rootless flutter, eager to connect with people, but afraid to connect with people.

At that time, he loved to hear about Shichuan, and he loved and was afraid at the same time. The feeling of needing each other with skin-to-skin contact fascinated him, and made him panic at the same time.Love will always be exhausted, and everything gained will be lost.Through the lens of Wen Shichuan, he connects with the world.

After breaking up with Wen Shichuan, he thought that leaving the love that made him worry about gains and losses, and turning around and diving into the entertainment industry, he would be able to take root more effectively.

However, it does not.

"Knock, knock—" Someone knocked on the door.

Fu Xingyun didn't answer the door, he didn't really want to talk to anyone.But the person who knocked on the door pushed the door open, it was Wen Shichuan.The crew members were still packing their things, the task was completed, and the atmosphere outside the door was relaxed and happy.Wen Shichuan leaned against the door and looked at him, feeling that he had lost some weight during this period, even thinner under the wide shirt, like a thin kite, if no one held the lead, he would fly away.

Wen Shichuan entered the room, closed the door behind his back, cut off the sound from outside, and asked him, "What's wrong?"

It's fine if he doesn't ask, but when he asks, Fu Xingyun can't stand it anymore.In the past, Fu Xingyun loved Shi Chuan's voice the most. It was low and hoarse, and when he spoke softly, it was like a feather brushing against his ears and heart.He likes Wen Shichuan hugging him on the bed, talking to him in his ear, reciting poems, the frequency of chest resonance is fascinating.

To Fu Xingyun, Wen Shichuan was like a terminal illness.I thought it was all right, but it just entered the incubation period. Once contacted, it will come back and revive.

The movie was over, but the emotions hadn't drained away, it was too turbulent, forcing Fu Xingyun's eyes to heat up.

He hated himself for being like this the most. The tears seemed to be opened, and before they had time to wipe them off, they fell one by one, rolled down the cheeks, gathered on the tip of the chin, and then dripped down.Fu Xingyun anxiously wanted to find something to wipe away his tears, so he groped under the pillow and found out a light blue handkerchief that had been folded.

Fu Xingyun didn't have time to wipe it off, so he hurriedly stuffed it back in a panic.

This was the handkerchief that Wen Shichuan lent him when we met for the first time before, but he hurriedly got it back, but Wen Shichuan didn't want it anymore, he wanted to throw it away angrily, and put his hands on the trash can , but changed his mind again, and stuffed it in the pile of clothes deep in the closet, pretending to have lost it.This time it was rolled up in my clothes and I accidentally brought it back.

I saw it when I was looking through clothes two days ago, I held it in my hand and looked at it, and even sniffed it furtively.There is no smell of Wen Shichuan on it anymore, only his own smell.

It's too embarrassing, he thought, and he wondered if Wen Shichuan saw it.

The more anxious he was, the more he couldn't control his tears. Fu Xingyun was extremely frustrated. In order to stop his sobs, his body trembled slightly.

Wen Shichuan walked to the bed, bent down and took out the handkerchief from under the pillow. These days, the handkerchief was already covered with the smell of Fu Xingyun, a faint smell of perfume, and body temperature.Wen Shichuan grabbed the handkerchief and helped Fu Xingyun wipe the tears off his face. Fu Xingyun opened his mouth slightly in surprise and turned his head to avoid it.

Wen Shichuan gently pinched his chin, not allowing him to refuse, and wiped away his tears.

Fu Xingyun sucked his red nose, wrinkled his nose, and asked in a hoarse voice: "This is easy, isn't it?"

I have cried like this, and I still have to hold grudges.

Wen Shichuan almost wanted to laugh, but held back.He asked, "Why are you crying?"

The tears stopped falling, Fu Xingyun turned his head away, and asked him: "Why did you let me act in this movie? Is it suitable for me? Or do you feel sorry for me?"

When Wen Shichuan loved him, he wished to melt him into his flesh and blood, and when he hated him, he wished to eat him bite by bite.When I saw him for the first time, he was crying. Wen Shichuan felt that he was alone, as if he had nothing to do with this world. When we met again, he seemed to be separated even if he was in the crowd. Later they When they were together, Fu Xingyun was also like this, he was stubborn and self-willed, fierce, but it also made people feel pitiful.

He had finished reading the script at the time, and after listening to Yu Xiangwan, there were pictures in his mind, especially the last scene, the protagonist was sitting next to the torn orange peel, looking at the door that no one had knocked on, looking forward to .He could imagine Fu Xingyun's eyes in his mind, just like when Fu Xingyun looked at him, his eyes were the same, eager and sad, and afraid of being discovered.

"It suits you." Wen Shichuan said softly.

Fu Xingyun sat on the edge of the bed, Wen Shichuan squatted in front of him, and Fu Xingyun met his gaze as soon as he turned his head.

Fu Xingyun continued to ask a little unconvinced: "Do you think I'm lonely?"

"Yes." Wen Shichuan said.

"So what?" Fu Xingyun's eyes were about to turn red again, "You don't know how?"

Wen Shichuan said softly: "Yes, often."

Fu Xingyun asked: "For example?"

Wen Shichuan looked into his eyes and said, "For example now."

They stared at each other fixedly, for a while, Fu Xingyun tried to find the loneliness he was talking about in Wen Shichuan's eyes, his eyes were deep.No one gave orders, and no one said anything, Fu Xingyun bent over and hugged him tightly, neck to neck, face to face.

They need each other.

Love is the tears* and the loneliness of two people in one person's eyes.

The author says:

The content of the film is inspired by Jian Jie's essays "The Empty House" and "The Invisible Thief"

*The one that appeared earlier comes from Mrs. Browning's "Portuguese Sonnets". A little angel put the original text of the whole poem in the long comment