sunk into the earth

No one cooks at night, only Zhang Chen and Li Xiaoyun are at home.

Li Xiaoyun's whole body was covered with marks from the woman in the sunglasses in the morning, as well as scratches and bruises from the steps. She locked herself in the bedroom, took a bottle of red medicine to smear, and the back hurt her. I can't see it, so I can only paint it blindly based on my feeling, and then sit on my bed in a daze after I finish painting.

During the period, Zhang Chenlai knocked on the door several times and she refused to open it.

It was nearly nine o'clock when Li Xiaoyun was finally willing to come out. At that time, Zhang Chen was sitting on the sofa in the living room, with his head lowered, one hand stroking the blood mark Li Xiaoyun pinched out on his palm, and he was thinking about something.

It was already dark, the living room had no lights on, the windows were wide open, and the curtains fluttered with the wind. Zhang Chen was sitting on the sofa, his figure blurred in the evening wind, like a bird that couldn't find its home.Li Xiaoyun didn't turn on the light, and walked slowly in front of her son based on her feeling, without saying anything.

Zhang Chen felt that his mother was walking towards him, and just as he stood up to ask something, he was suddenly slapped in the face.

The slap was not strong, Li Xiaoyun didn't have much energy at all, but Zhang Chen had never been spanked by her since she was a child. In the past, Li Xiaoyun was called by the school teacher to the office to train her grandson, and she never fought with Zhang Chen, just kept sighing.Zhang Chen was caught off guard by the slap on the head. His head was tilted to one side. He tried his best to hold his eye sockets, blinked his dry eyes, and said "I'm sorry".

Fortunately, they were both standing in the dark, and no one could see each other's expressions clearly.

Li Xiaoyun became calmer after the slap, and asked Zhang Chen, "What about the child?"

Zhang Chen answered her honestly: "Going back to his grandma's house."

Li Xiaoyun asked again: "What's the date today?"

Zhang Chen said, "July [-]."

Li Xiaoyun didn't sit down, but stood like a statue of Zunshi. She said "Oh", and said slowly, "School will start in one month."

But she immediately lost control, rushed up and grabbed Zhang Chen's shirt collar, and slapped him again, this slap was stronger than before, Zhang Chen tilted his face, feeling the slap on his face just now His hands were trembling, as if all the resentment towards him that he had held back for ten years was finally let out with this force.

This time Zhang Chen was well prepared, and calmly received another slap, without surprise or other movements, and said "I'm sorry" again.

These two sentences of "I'm sorry" together made Li Xiaoyun lose control. The mother and son seem to have changed their identities today. I did things that I would never do on weekdays.

Li Xiaoyun tugged at his sleeves, and suddenly began to beat his chest in a disorderly manner, hard, with a look of hatred for iron and steel, and a choked sound in her throat, like the whimpering of some dying animal, "Why are you so stupid? Are you so stupid?" Didn’t you hear your dad say it? What kind of family is he, what kind of family are you? You can be as chic as you want, if you get tired of it, pat your ass and leave and change places, and you won’t lose a dime. What about you? How did you live this year? Do you know how others scolded you? They said that you would not spare even men for the sake of climbing high..."

Zhang Chen's clothes were messed up by Li Xiaoyun. He didn't drink water for a long time, his voice was hoarse, and he said after a long while: "I've already told him that he won't come to me again in the future."

This sentence seemed to make Zhang Chen uncomfortable. After he finished speaking, he raised his hand and touched the right cheek that Li Xiaoyun slapped just now. It was a little hot, and it might be swollen. Zhang Chen didn't care whether his face was swollen or not, and continued with the words Head continued, "Just say what others say, I don't care."

Li Xiaoyun exhaled heavily, her shoulders suddenly collapsed into a collapsed bridge, she sat down suddenly, and even pulled the hem of Zhang's shirt, asking him to sit down too.

It was very quiet at night, and Zhang Licheng's absence made the relationship between mother and son even quieter.The window was still wide open, no one cared about it, the wind outside gradually increased, and it swelled in the hot summer night, bringing a rustling sound, and the mother and son sat silently facing each other amidst the sound of leaves.

Li Xiaoyun grabbed her son's hand, recalling something in the night breeze, her eyes suddenly turned red, she sniffed lightly, and took the initiative to speak, but she didn't mention the incident just now, and suddenly talked about the past "Before I married your father, I had a relationship once, just once." Zhang Chen didn't say a word, just listened quietly.

"Is it in 17 or [-]? At that time, I was about the same age as you are now, and I was also [-] years old. At that time, my brothers and sisters all went to the countryside, and I was the only one staying in our Yuncheng. No one goes to school anymore, so I usually look after the store for my grandma. At that time, there was always a tall man who came to the store to buy things, sometimes buying newspapers, drinks, and sometimes buying screwdrivers and pliers. I can make a lot of money by walking down. He always comes, obviously familiar and doesn’t take the initiative to talk to me, but he always wants to look at me, stare at me when he comes in, and stare at me when he leaves. I know what that means. "

"One time I finally couldn't help talking to him. He seemed to have been waiting for me to approach him for a long time. A big man is so thin-skinned and wants a woman to take the initiative."

Speaking of this, Li Xiaoyun suddenly laughed, but her voice was very hoarse, and her laugh was nondescript, like old parts stuck in the middle of the machine, rattling.When Zhang Chen heard his mother laugh, he laughed too, and said, "A man who doesn't take the initiative is really bad."

Li Xiaoyun was still holding Zhang Chen's hand, touching his palm, where there were a few scabs of blood, which she pinched out with her own hands in the morning, she touched the raised blood scabs, and continued: "Yes , It’s terrible. I’ve been waiting for him for many years, and it takes a long time for him to run off the goods, and I often don’t see him for several months. I’ve been waiting, and I’ve been waiting.”

Zhang Chen touched the back of his mother's hand with his other hand, and asked her softly, "And then?"

"There is no after, not many love stories have after."

The two were quiet for a while, and Li Xiaoyun suddenly asked, "What about you and him?"

Zhang Chen held his mother's hand. His mother's hand is the only trustworthy hand in the world. Zhang Chen seemed to be back when he was a child. At that time, the family was prosperous and his parents rarely quarreled. Li Xiaoyun hugged him and asked what he wanted to do in the future. Zhang Chen said that he wanted to be a scientist and change the world.Li Xiaoyun just laughed and said that her son must be fine.Zhang Chen didn't know why he thought of this, he closed his eyes in the dark night, and spoke slowly.

"He was always looking at me too, I could feel it. The first time I helped him move the drums, he kept staring at me all the way. I slept in the same bed with him that night and he thought I was asleep and peeked at me. I, actually, I know."

Li Xiaoyun was still holding her son's hand, stroking his palm and the back of his hand back and forth, and quietly listening to him continue talking.

"The second time, he broke the radiator at home and asked me to fix it on purpose. On the way, he hugged my waist and hugged me tightly on purpose. I know all this."

"The third time, he came to our house. He was a lunatic. He actually climbed in through the window and hid under my bed. As soon as I entered the door, I saw his clothes were exposed. I deliberately pretended not to know."

"Later he went back to Beijing, and it rained heavily on the day he came back. He said he took the train for seven hours to come back to find me, and he missed me all the time. Mom, do you know? He was soaking wet and his hair was sticking to On his forehead, the clothes were glued to his body transparently by the rain. He was still holding a stack of textbooks and notebooks he brought back from Beijing in his arms. He smiled at me. Others laughed at me before, either because they were laughing or He smiled maliciously, but he only smiled at me like that. No one has ever treated me like this. He kissed me, and I couldn't hold it back. "

After Zhang Chen said all this, she didn't continue, Li Xiaoyun let go of the hand that was stroking his palm, she tremblingly touched Zhang Chen's face in the dark, and touched the place where she fanned the red mark a lot back and forth, Ask him softly, "Does it hurt?"

According to Zhang Chen's stubborn and stubborn personality in the past, he would probably say "it doesn't hurt" when his hands and feet are cut off, but when his mother touched his face and the wound on his body, he suddenly wanted to shrink into his mother's arms Li, his mouth loosened, and said, "It hurts a bit."

This loose remark gave Zhang Chen an opportunity to be an ordinary child, and he stumbled and asked Li Xiaoyun: "Mom, are people always so embarrassing?"

This made Li Xiaoyun sad. She was still smiling just now, but the next second she burst into tears. She gently touched her son's right cheek that was red from the beating just now, and said, "Yes, yes, people are always so embarrassing. It’s hard to live decently.”

She went on to say: "Mom doesn't want you to suffer... It's okay for others to scold me, but when I go upstairs, I hear others scold you, and Mom can't stand it."

Li Xiaoyun's voice became hoarse as she spoke, and she had to go to the coffee table to get a water glass, and kept pouring water into her mouth. She poured herself several big gulps, and continued, "Our family can't afford to mess with that kind of person, so we can just live our own ordinary life, okay?" When you finish the exam next year and move to a new place, no one will know about these things now. Love is the most worthless thing, let alone you are not worth it, listen to mom and forget about these things, okay? ?”

Zhang Chen nodded and said "OK".

The next morning, Zhang Chen turned over from the window sill of the bedroom with his black schoolbag on his shoulders. He felt that he needed to escape, even if it was only for a week or two, he didn't want to stay in the oppressive home any longer.

It had been cloudy since the morning, with decaying greenery and sharp bird calls surrounding the entire community. When Zhang Chen walked out of the gate of the family courtyard, the owner of the grocery store at the gate was sitting in layers of newspapers covered in ink smelling and listening to the radio.The voice on the radio was clear, and it was broadcasting the latest news about environmental pollution. The hostess said that Yuncheng was sitting on the mountain, and that the black gold had almost been hollowed out in recent years. For several months in a row, there was only gray sky in the city.

Zhang Chen ran out like a gust of wind, wearing a soapy white shirt and a black schoolbag on his shoulders. He happened to hear this sentence on the radio in the wind. He subconsciously looked up at the sky and found that There are no clouds in Yuncheng.

*****

Cheng Sheng stayed at the train station for almost a whole day. He didn't take anything, and squatted alone on the floor of the ticket hall, watching the bustling people and security guards who came to buy tickets in the hall.

Yuncheng Railway Station is an old station, which has been built for decades. Except for the red "Train Station" which is covered with a layer of dazzling red paint, the rest of the facilities are the same as the first impression of this city. Where is it? They were all dusty, and they felt choked with dust at a glance.

Cheng Sheng has already refunded the tickets twice. The first time he queued for an hour, surrounded by beaters carrying woven bags, women hugging children, and a few students who looked like students. After a while, they laughed and dispersed, and then gathered together to chatter, not knowing what they were talking about.

The line was badly lined up, and people kept slipping into the line as if no one else was there. During the period, the security guard came over to rectify it several times, and people pushed and shoved towards another window like waves.

Cheng Sheng held his breath and waited in line for more than an hour in this dirty and noisy place before seeing the conductor through the glass.

"One to Beijing, when is the earliest?"

The conductor didn't even raise his head, but concentrated on staring at the big head phone in front of him, clacking the keyboard in his hand, and said to him, "Tomorrow morning at the earliest, do you want to be by the window or by the corridor?"

"Near the window."

Cheng Sheng waited for her to print the ticket, but as soon as the conductor handed him the printed ticket, Cheng Sheng regretted it and blurted out: "Refund it again."

The conductor was finally willing to look up at him, with "Are you sick" written in his eyes, and the words he said were polite, "I have to charge a refund fee even now."

Cheng Sheng said "OK", and waited for the conductor to get back the extra money and slowly moved out of the line.

He walked out, walked around the train station twice aimlessly, bought a sesame seed cake at the sesame seed stall at the door, squatted on the curb without any image, and ate a mouthful of sesame seed cake residue.He swallowed a sesame seed cake whole, and found that the dough hadn't stopped the sourness in his heart, so he asked the boss to add two more sesame seed cakes.

At this time, it was almost evening, and the color of the sky was shifting towards purple, just pushing through the gray sky in the daytime, Cheng Sheng was holding two greasy biscuits into his mouth under the sky that was changing from purple to black , stuffing the acid in my heart all turned into tears streaming down unstoppably.

Old Cheng always said that a scholar should be decent, he can be slippery or hypocritical, but he can't be ashamed outside with a poor face. If he sees Cheng Sheng squatting on the curb east of the railway station eating sesame seed cakes with tears hanging down his face, he will be very angry Immediately, he took off his leather shoes and pumped him a hundred and eighty times.

After eating the three biscuits, Cheng Sheng returned to the ticket hall and found another line to line up.

This time we waited for another hour, and when it was his turn, the conductor turned around and asked the colleague next to me about something. She saw that it was the same young man who bought the ticket and refunded it just now, and said with a "drink": "Still buying it? Or the trip to Beijing tomorrow morning?"

Cheng Sheng nodded and handed over a hundred-yuan bill.

Unexpectedly, as soon as the conductor gave him the printed ticket, Cheng Sheng blurted out without even answering the ticket: "Please refund me again."

The conductor threw the money to him and cursed: "If you have money, you will be in a hurry!"