octopus don't cry

That night, I spread a blanket for Qi Shen in the study.

The Qi family's tutoring has always been strict, and they don't spoil children.Qi Shen ran into the study with the blanket in his arms. He was so small that he looked like a moving blanket.I was so happy that I laughed for a long time before I helped him spread the blanket on the soft bed.

He took off his shoes and climbed into bed.

"The blanket is so small." He complained to me suddenly, and didn't lie down immediately, his legs as short as tender lotus root were covered under the blanket, and he shook the blanket vigorously with his hands.

"Then how much blanket do you need?" I asked him with a smile, folded the pants he had changed and put them at the foot of the bed, "It's enough for you to sleep alone."

"But if you're going to sleep with me, it's not enough." He kicked his legs unhappily, then looked straight into my face, "Why don't you sleep with me?"

I was suddenly a little embarrassed, do I want to say "Your father is better at cheating than you"?But what surprised me even more was what he said next.

"Do you hate me?"

Qi Ji certainly didn't expect that Qi Shen asked the question for him first, which he beat around the bush and hesitated over and over again.

It is difficult for me to answer this question.

"Are you thinking about..." Maybe he didn't know that word very well, he paused, "'retest' me?"

I froze for a moment.

I was just in a trance for a while, and he caught me.This child is smart enough to understand what "perfunctory" means, but he is also immature, and he should ask questions if he thinks he doesn't understand.But there was no sharp suspicion in his eyes, at most slyness, and an under-disguised worry.

I must answer him seriously.

"I'm not thinking about how to perfunctory you. Well, that word reads 'perfunctory'." I touched his head, his eyes widened, "But, my answer is to be exchanged. You have to tell Me, why do you think so?"

He was silent for a moment, "...because of mom."

"I know, my mother is good to me because of my father. In fact, my mother never takes me with me. She doesn't take me to play, and she doesn't care what I can eat to make me sick. She only likes bright things, and There are many, many gatherings of aunts like her, at that time she would take me there, and then go to talk to those aunts by herself. Every time I go to those places, I am very hungry."

I was so shocked that I couldn't speak.

"Dad let me think about who is good to me and who is not. I now know that my mother is not good, and my father is good to you. But I am not your child, so you will treat me badly, and slowly in the future Even my father treated me badly..."

I was almost dumbfounded. I didn't expect him to think of this at such a young age. It took a long time to find my voice, "...Don't worry, this kind of thing won't happen. Besides, there are many things, and it won't happen because of one of them. One thing happened, and everything else came true like dominoes."

He tilted his head to look at me, and asked with some suspicion, "Really?"

"I do not know."

He couldn't understand, "Then why did you say that!"

"Because... as you said, you have to find the answer yourself. Nothing I say is completely right for you. "

He still didn't quite understand, and slowly he looked aggrieved, but he still looked at me hard.

I also thought I was amused, "I mean, you don't have to worry about it now, okay?"

He squinted his eyes, probably a little sleepy, and finally nodded like a chicken pecking at rice.

I made him the whole blanket.

-

After closing the study door, I went to the bathroom and took a shower.

When he came out, Qi Ji was on the phone.

"...I know...you don't need to come here, I will take someone back...You let Uncle Wang..."

I leaned against the wall and waited for a while after he hung up the phone before going out and turning on the TV as if nothing had happened.

"I just drank a lot of water."

My eyes turn to him.

"I think……"

I got up resignedly and went to help him up.

Unexpectedly, he grabbed my wrist, and a smile appeared on the corner of his mouth, "But it has been resolved, and now I want to sleep."

I raised my eyebrows and glanced at my watch, 09:30.

My eyes fell on the bottom of the wall, where the folding bed is usually placed, but there was nothing at this time.I was a little speechless, and couldn't help but say, "When do you want your wound to heal?"

He seemed to think about it seriously, and then said with a smile: "It will be fine this morning."

I was at a loss for words, grabbed the pillow and was about to hit him.

His eyes were bent, and the pupils seemed to hide bits and pieces of light, falling on my face.My ears felt a little hot and my heart was pounding.Stop making trouble, turn off the TV, take off your shoes and lie down on the bed.

Double bed, not crowded.

He can only lie on his back, so he can't hold me, but it seems to be very satisfying.His eyes were always smiling, and his slender fingers groped and entangled with me, which made me bury my blushing face in the pillow.

I thought this kind of boring thing was something that Lin Lin and even Ji Shang's age would have, but I didn't expect to play it myself now, and I feel very novel.

"What are you doing, being an ostrich." He smiled, and poked my face with the other hand.

I was buried in the pillow, but I was calmly thinking about when he made the phone call. I guessed something just now based on a few words, but I just didn't expect him to do this, so I couldn't help but feel a little touched.

After rubbing the pillow for a long time, I finally turned to look at his side face.The smile on his face is even wider, his thin lips are slightly hooked, and his hair is scattered, so I can hardly find the stern look from many years ago.He probably noticed that there was a difference in my expression, and his smile gradually subsided, but he slowly leaned over and kissed my lips.

As if sighing, he branded a kiss on my forehead, "You don't know how happy I am."

"...I'm also very happy." I seemed to be infected by the atmosphere, and replied in a daze.

-

As I expected, on the third day after I promised Qi Ji to be together, Lin Lin came back.

Fortunately, he had some reason left, so he dragged Qin Qian Molu along.Those who didn't know thought he was visiting a friend, and I almost thought he was looking for helpers to tie me back.

"Shen Shen!"

Lin Lin is full of travel and dust, I can see that his complexion is not very good, and the guilt in his heart has come up, but he still pretends to be confused, "Why did you come back so soon, why don't you stay in your hometown for a while?"

As soon as he grabbed me, I wanted to leave.Immediately there were two more gazes behind me, which made me stop, "Lin Lin, Lin Lin, don't get excited."

Lin Lin was pulled by me.He puffed out his cheeks and stared at me with his eyes.But with his personality, he can't say excessive words under any circumstances.He stared for a long time before choking out a sentence, "...I'm hungry, take me to breakfast!"

I raised a smile and comforted him gently, "Okay, I know there is a porridge shop nearby."

Lin Lin froze for a moment and bit her lip.

I knew who those eyes were coming from, but I ignored them.

The moment I closed the door, I saw Qi Ji looking at me, his expression was calm, but there were whirlpools in his eyes.

I remained calm, but nodded slightly.

-

"Preserved egg and lean meat porridge?"

"Eh? Okay, thank you."

I took Lin Lin to the porridge shop not far from the hospital.

This is probably why Qi Ji and I had breakfast these days.Speaking of which, even though he was raised by a big family, he was not picky about what he ate, and he didn't like to engage in ostentation.Even the ward he lives in now, in this private hospital, is probably only middle to high grade, not the best.

"Shen Shen, Shen Shen, you've lost your mind."

Lin Lin waved his hand in front of me, and then his expression darkened a little. He didn't wait for me to reply, and continued to say: "Shen Shen, I don't understand what you're thinking. It was like this five years ago, and it's like this now. "

However, as soon as he finished speaking, he looked at me with some unease, and added: "Of course I'm not saying that you did something wrong. It's a wonderful thing to like someone. But Shen Shen, I think your journey is too long and bumpy. Well, you're not having a good time."

He always talks like this: "Shen Shen, I know you are very sensible, you haven't done anything wrong, but, but..."

He suddenly looked downcast.He is a very gentle person, as if every time I have a bad life, he is very responsible, and every time he wants to scold me, he feels that I am really embarrassed.

He raised his head to look at me at the moment, his eyes looked like a blue sea, his expression "... tell me seriously, you still like Qiji, so much that you must be with him, right?"

I was silent.

But I don't shy away from the question.

"I just... I can't let go."

-

As soon as the words came out, time seemed to stand still for an instant.

But I was inexplicably relieved, as if my swelling and complicated emotions had finally found an outlet.Now I want to dig out the most obscure and gloomy thoughts in my heart and expose them to the sunlight. These thoughts are not bright, and even gradually become distorted because of too much time.But the person in front of me is someone I can trust, and the things I think, no matter how unbearable they are, they are true and cannot be more serious.

But I didn't dare to meet Lin Lin's gaze, and I even had difficulty opening my mouth: "You know, Lin Lin... I really don't like him as much, as before. This relationship has really dragged on for too long, and I have already participated There are too many things mixed up. I know only now that the anger, humiliation, and grievances have not dissipated, but have settled in the bottom of my heart, making me gradually develop some abnormal psychology."

"For example." I said softly, "Revenge."

I looked calm on the surface, but in fact my palms were already sweating finely, and my whole body became hot.But I clenched my fists and continued: "But don't worry, I won't do anything out of line. I won't care about Qiji as much as before. I wanted to leave, but now he insists on looking for me... ..." I paused, having trouble uttering the word "recombine"—but that was the end of the story.

I closed my eyes, and didn't even dare to meet anyone's gaze, as if I was afraid that someone could see into my heart through my current eyes.

My voice was a little low, and my eyes looked at the ground, "I have thought about it again these days, I can't let go of Qi Ji, probably more because of too long time, so my obsession is too deep. Then I, then why don't I How about trying it once? You asked me what I want to do, but I actually can’t see it myself... Anyway, the initiative is in my hands now. I thought, if something really happens by then, the worst thing is to break up. "

Listening to this passage, Lin Lin looked at me fixedly, her lips parted slightly, with a surprised expression.

As for me, I thought about it over and over again, thought about it thousands of times, hesitated and struggled, and finally had no choice but to persuade myself to relax.But when I really said it from my own mouth, my heart became extremely uncomfortable, and there was a trace of ease.

I leaned back in the chair suddenly, as if I was desperate, but also as if I really didn't care.

Yes, what is there to lose?

I thought about this, and finally met Lin Lin's gaze slowly and firmly, "I don't care so much anymore, and naturally I won't be in so much pain. This time, maybe I can be freed from it."

The author has something to say:

Revised it again.Huh, every time I read something I wrote, I am not satisfied. I am constantly changing and rewriting, and sometimes I am wronged and irritable.But after thinking about it, I should persevere, and if I am treated well, I should work harder... (However, the new chapter is still not coded QAQ)

La la la.