my boyfriend is too random

Ding Zimu was ruthlessly driven out by Yuan Qiao. The winter sky was dazzlingly blue. Ding Zimu stood in front of the store in a daze for a while, and then walked slowly along the road towards home. long shadows.

What are you doing at home?Ding Zimu thought while walking, when he came home, he would see the shadow of Yang Yiming all over the room, his smell was in the air, his voice echoed from every corner, but those were not his own.Ding Zimu doesn't want to go home, but he doesn't know where to go. His world has always been single. In the past, it was an orphanage and school, then it was a work unit and a rental house, and now it is a bakery and Yang Yiming's house. So where is he? Where is your home?

Ding Zimu's mind was in a mess, with various thoughts coming and going. He felt that someone was arguing in his mind. At first it was a faint buzzing sound, and then it became louder and louder. Although he couldn't hear it clearly, the sound Gotta give him a headache.Ding Zimu stopped slowly. He stood blankly on the busy street, feeling that the world was so big that there was no direction for him to move forward.

"How?" he asked himself.

"Go away!" A violent voice suddenly sounded in his head.Ding Zimu suddenly felt that it was difficult to breathe. He held onto a big tree and bent down slightly to breathe hard, but there seemed to be a huge stone on his chest. No matter how hard he tried, the air could not reach the lung cavity.The strong suffocation made his tinnitus worse, and he heard a voice clearly saying, "Trash!"

He clenched his fists, trying to fight through the surging rage.He has heard these two words many times. When he was a child, his father would often say that when he was studying, there were a few students with bad conduct in his class who would bully him, pointing at him and scolding him as "a trash without parents and mothers".Every time I hear him, there will be a rush of rage, and this time is no exception.

After a while, he slowly straightened up, staring at the rough and dry bark in front of him, and asked softly, "Who are you?"

"You don't care who I am!" The voice was still irritable, with strong disdain.

"Da Ding?" Ding Zimu smiled slightly, "I know you are Da Ding."

The voice in his head stopped talking, and after a long time, Ding Zimu's legs were sore from standing, and the cold winter wind made him extremely cold.He asked softly, "Are you leaving?"

"..."

Ding Zimu stomped his feet, turned around and walked home.He felt that the familiar street in front of him was a little distorted, as if a giant hand had folded him, and he also felt that there was an idea in his mind that was ready to come out but was still elusive.It was a very weird feeling, he didn't know whether he was looking at the street from Ding Zimu's perspective or Dading's perspective, or if the two people actually overlapped.

It's as if people in completely opposite positions are looking at the same picture.

Ding Zimu knew that Da Ding hadn't left, so he lived in his heart.Ding Zimu wants to go back quickly now, he needs to find a place to have a good talk with him.

When he got home, Ding Zimu opened the door with trembling hands, and the key didn't go into the lock even after inserting it twice.He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself down, but when he opened them again, he was surprised to find that he was standing by the door, and a young man who looked a bit fierce was holding a key and unlocking the door.

"Come in," the man said fiercely.

Ding Zimu froze at the door, he couldn't control his hands and feet, he seemed to be fixed, only his thoughts were active.He wanted to swallow, but his throat was out of control. He wanted to reach out and push the door open, but he couldn't move even a fingertip with all his strength.

Ding Zimu panicked, he immediately felt that the air around him was getting thinner and thinner, and he was about to be out of breath.

"What are you doing?" The person standing at the door turned his head and clicked his lips at him, very dissatisfied, and grabbed Ding Zimu back.

Ding Zimu staggered, and immediately felt that he could move again.He took two quick steps and stepped into the door to sit on the sofa, a thin layer of sweat dripped from his forehead.

Da Ding followed in and slammed the door shut with his toe. A loud sound echoed in the room.Following this loud noise, Ding Zimu felt that he flew up suddenly, floating in a vacillating manner, and the bondage that had been tightly binding him just now was suddenly released.He immediately breathed hard, filling his lung cavity as fast as he could.

"Ding Zimu, you are such a waste." Ding said coldly while sitting on the sofa.

Ding Zimu felt that he should be standing on the opposite side of Ding, but he felt like he was not touching his feet.After getting over the initial panic, he calmed down.He looked at Da Ding seriously and didn't speak for a while.

"What are you doing?" Da Ding felt a little uncomfortable when he saw him.

"I, this is the first time I have a chance to take a good look at you." Ding Zimu smiled and said, "I haven't seen you for so long."

"What's interesting about me." Da Ding clicked his tongue and said, "I'm free!"

"I've always wanted to say 'thank you' to you," Ding Zimu was a little embarrassed, "but you should already know, right?"

"I do not know."

"Then... thank you," Ding Zimu said sincerely, "Really, I am very grateful to you. You have done so much for me over the years."

Da Ding cleared his throat and said ferociously: "Who is for you? I just can't stand it myself. I don't want to suffocate myself."

"Okay." Ding Zimu said obediently, "Then thank you for helping me."

"..."

"Da Ding," Ding Zimu said with a smile, "you are really a good person."

Da Ding moved his body, feeling even more uncomfortable.The room fell silent for a while. Ding Zimu wanted to ask Ding many questions, but he felt that there was no need to ask; I can't open my mouth again.

After a while, Ding Zimu broke the silence: "Ding, why do you say I'm a 'trash'?"

Da Ding finally found the topic, and he said, "What do you want about Yang Yiming?"

"Da, Da Ding, you, you know?" Ding Zimu stammered.

"Nonsense!" Da Ding rolled his eyes, "Idiots can't see it!"

"That, that, that Teacher Yang..."

"That's an idiot!"

"Oh..." Ding Zimu lowered his head in disappointment.

"Let me ask you, what do you want to do?" Da Ding said impatiently.

Ding Zimu honestly shook his head; "I don't know."

"Then why don't you know?" Da Ding said angrily, "If I didn't care about it before, you made up your mind anyway, but what's going on with you now?"

"Brother Yuan said today..."

"His words are bullshit!" Da Ding spat, "You don't know that he likes you. If he wants to be with you, he will definitely not help you. A shit-stirring stick."

Ding Zimu whispered, "I know what he said is true, but I never thought about it before."

"Hmph." Da Ding sneered, and said mockingly, "Okay, it's quite benevolent."

"I don't want to harm him." Ding Zimu said.

Da Ding: "Do you know Yang Yiming?"

Ding Zimu frowned slightly: "I, I dare not say that I understand him."

"Do you think, if he doesn't like someone like him, can it be useful if you tell him? Is it useful to beg him? It's useless to kneel down and beg him!" Da Ding said in a hoarse voice.

"Well," Ding Zimu was a little moved, "Brother Yuan also said the same."

"Then you are so worried!"

"I, I don't know either." Ding Zimu murmured, "Maybe, as you said, I'm too useless."

"Get out!" Ding was furious suddenly, Ding Zimu watched his face contort, his eyes shot out hatred, the aggressive momentum forced Ding Zimu to back away.

"Big, big Ding?"

"You trash, you don't need to live!" Da Ding was on the verge of rage, his eyes were red, and he clenched his fists tightly, roaring, "How dare you say 'useless'? You are alive, everyone loves you, They can only see you, yet you dare to say that you are useless! Ding Zimu, let me tell you, I fucking want to kill you, do you know that!"

"I……"

"You what you!" Da Ding jumped up from the sofa, waving his arms vigorously, "Ding Zimu, what else do you want? Hmm? Don't you think everything is not going well? You know me...I...my mother... ..." Da Ding couldn't continue, he gasped, walked around the living room angrily, then stood in front of Ding Zimu, gritted his teeth and said, "If you feel that you have more than enough life Get out!"

Ding Zimu looked at Ding from a very close distance, he could clearly see the killing intent in Ding's eyes, at that moment, he clearly found that Ding hated him.But the strange thing is that Ding Zimu was not afraid, he asked gently: "Ding, what do you want to say?"

"What do I want to say? What do I want to say? Ha, you actually asked me what I wanted to say?" Ding's sharp voice even changed a little bit, with a bit of ferocity, "I want you to disappear, completely Disappear! How? Since you have lived so hard, why not let me live for you."

Ding Zimu took a deep breath and shook his head very slowly: "No."

"No?" Da Ding leaned closer to him, "Don't you know what to do? I know, I know what the hell I want to do! Let me tell you, you are not the only one in this world who likes him! "

Ding Zimu suddenly widened his eyes and looked at Ding in astonishment. After a while, he saw the most real pain in Ding's eyes, struggling unwillingly.He stretched out his hand, but Ding took a quick step back, avoiding Ding Zimu's hand.

"Da Ding," Ding Zimu said slowly, "I really don't know what to do, but I just don't know how to achieve my goal, and my goal has never changed."

"What do you mean?"

"It means, I like Teacher Yang, I want to be with him, I have always been like this. But I don't know what to do to prevent him from being hurt, if I figure it out, I will do it." Ding Zi Mu wanted to smile at Da Ding, but the corners of his mouth started to ache as soon as he opened his eyes. He took a breath and tried his best to calm his breath and said, "Ding, I'm sorry. I, I, I can't give up."

Dading paused for a few seconds: "What do you mean by not wanting to give up?"

"I don't want to hide behind you, I don't want to be only Brother Zheng in my whole life, I want to live a more real life!" Ding Zimu said, feeling so sad that he couldn't help himself, but the strange thing was that he didn't want to cry!It wasn't that he couldn't cry, but that he really didn't want to cry. He smiled and said, "Da Ding, when I realized Brother Zheng didn't actually exist..."

"He exists!" Da Ding growled, "That person exists, and so do I. Why, do you want to deny my existence?"

"No," Ding Zimu shook his head, "I don't want to deny you, but I know that's not what I want, so I feel that I'm about to collapse, I thought that no one will treat me well in my life... However, there is also Teacher Yang. Teacher Yang cut his own arm with a knife to prove to me that he is real, and from then on, I knew that he was what I wanted."

Ding Zimu stretched out his hand to Ding, his fingertips trembling slightly, and he said, "Ding, I'm sorry, but would you like to be with me?"

Da Ding stared at Ding Zimu's hand with red eyes, his jaw was clenched tightly, and the corners of his mouth were pursed with unwillingness and anger.

Ding Zimu said: "Teacher Yang told me that we will meet at some point in the future."

Da Ding didn't say a word, Ding Zimu said: "Da Ding, you will not disappear, and you will not lose him, really, I promise."

"Won't?"

"No!" Ding Zimu shook his head firmly, and he put his hand lightly on Ding's chest, "We are all here, you and me."

Da Ding slowly raised his head, looked at the ceiling, and then smiled strangely at Ding Zimu.Ding Zimu felt a blur in front of his eyes, as if someone pushed him, and after a stagger, he fell down on the sofa, leaving only dead silence in the room.

***

Yang Yiming went to pick up Ding Zimu from the bakery after work, but Yuan Qiao choked him out.Yang Yiming felt that he couldn't explain the truth to a man in menopause like Yuan Qiao, so he left the bakery after asking Ding Zimu to go home.

Yuan Qiao raised a middle finger behind him.

When Yang Yiming arrived home, Ding Zimu was sitting in the living room in a daze. Yang Yiming asked, "Are you uncomfortable?"

Ding Zimu shook his head: "It's okay, Mr. Yang, please change your clothes first, and I will cook."

"Not busy." Yang Yiming grabbed Ding Zimu, "Tell me why you left work early."

"The store is not too busy," Ding Zimu said as calmly as possible, "Brother Yuan said that the things he made in the morning were enough to sell, so he asked me to come back first."

"Don't talk nonsense, I just saw Yuan Qiao's face is like menopausal constipation, I am not willing to let you back after seeing it."

Ding Zimu shook his head: "It's really fine."

Yang Yiming said flatly: "Either you tell me, or I will call Yuan Qiao now, and if neither of you tell me, I will hypnotize Yuan Qiao."

"Mr. Yang, you don't know how to hypnotize." Ding Zimu said slowly.

"It's not that I can't, it's just that I can't remind you well," Yang Yiming shrugged. "

"What will happen if the reminder is not good?"

"Then who knows, he's either crazy or stupid, or his IQ has declined." Yang Yiming said nonchalantly, "I don't like him very much anyway, so I don't care."

Ding Zimu chuckled: "Mr. Yang, you..."

Yang Yiming said: "Don't laugh, maybe one day I will really hypnotize him. Let him talk nonsense to you, his mouth is so weak, he should be hypnotized."

"Come on, Brother Yuan didn't say anything." Ding Zimu was amused by Yang Yiming.

"Then tell me, what happened today, if nothing happened, you couldn't ask for leave."

"I...I want to cook porridge for my aunt."

"Cooking porridge?" Yang Yiming frowned and said doubtfully, "Why did you remember to cook porridge?"

"Sister Yang called me a few days ago and asked me how to cook beef porridge. I said that it doesn't need to be so troublesome. I can send it to my aunt after I cook it. It happens that I am not too busy today, so I will ask for leave and come back to cook. gone."

"Why does my sister have your phone?"

"I stayed with my aunt last time." Ding Zimu said naturally, this was the truth, and he was quite happy when he received the call.

Yang Yiming rolled his eyes silently, feeling that the whole world was forcing him to bend this boy, and he was about to lose control.

"Teacher Yang," Ding Zimu said, "Then...then I'll make dinner."

"Wait," Yang Yiming called Ding Zimu, "You took an afternoon off, where's the porridge?"

"Porridge...congee...uh, I want to cook beef porridge, but I haven't bought good beef. I want to go to a supermarket far away tomorrow to buy it and then cook it."

"You don't have to go to work tomorrow?" Yang Yiming narrowed his eyes.

Ding Zimu felt that he was going to be unable to make up any more, so he rushed into the kitchen after muttering something vaguely.Yang Yiming's doubts became even greater. This was the first time that Ding Zimu hadn't told him the truth, but he didn't want to ask. Now Ding Zimu is very stable and knows what he is doing. Yang Yiming is willing to give him more Take the space to slowly sort out your thoughts and emotions.

So Yang Yiming leaned against the door with a cup of tea and chatted with Ding Zimu, saying that the little girl who consulted today suffered from severe lack of sleep and was emotionally unstable, and said that the current third-year junior high school students are suffering to death.Ding Zimu didn't care what Yang Yiming said, Yuan Qiao's words were still spinning in his mind, and the vegetable shovel in his hand fell backwards to pick up the shredded potatoes in the pot.

Yang Yiming said carelessly: "I've been on fire recently, and I have a toothache. I can't even chew an apple at noon. Let's fry the vegetables to a lesser extent. My teeth are bad." After finishing speaking, he turned and went back to the living room.

Ding Zimu suddenly stopped what he was doing, and saw that the shredded potatoes in the pot were almost turning into mashed potatoes.