my boyfriend is too random

Ding Zimu was sitting on the sofa holding a coffee cup. The afternoon sun was warm, but Yang Yiming's fingers holding the phone were cold: "Ding Zimu, what happened at that time?"

"I don't know," Ding Zimu said slowly, "I remember meeting Dad on the way home that day...he..."

"You met Ding Kuiqiang."

"Meet Ding Kuiqiang." Ding Zimu let out a long breath. To be honest, he was very reluctant to call him "Dad", but he was a little afraid to call him by his name directly, as if calling out this name would attract demons.But after Yang Yiming called out the name very smoothly, Ding Zimu felt that when he said "Ding Kuiqiang" again, the fear disappeared miraculously, "Then we quarreled, it was very chaotic, and then he said... I am... that……"

"Say you were raised by me." Yang Yiming took the topic calmly, "And then?"

"You... aren't angry?" Ding Zimu said in surprise.

"Don't be angry," Yang Yiming said, "Is it okay for me to be angry with him?"

"It seems impossible." Ding Zimu smiled, and continued, "Then I heard Xu Lin tell me to hide, and he kept saying that I was confused, angry and scared... Anyway, I don't know why What's going on, I feel like I'm going to faint all of a sudden, and I don't know when my eyes are dark."

When Ding Zimu said this, he didn't dare to take his eyes off Yang Yiming. He carefully judged the expression on Yang Yiming's face, and felt that Yang Yiming was very calm, as if he was listening to the weather forecast.Listening to the weather forecast, I can still say "it's getting colder and colder", but I don't even blink my eyelids when I listen to my own narration.

In fact, Yang Yiming's heart roared like a tsunami, and the screen of his mobile phone was almost shattered.Ding Zimu was able to communicate with Xu Lin! There are many treatment methods for DID patients, but in the final analysis it is a core "communication". Patients need to face up to themselves and have enough courage to face various sub-personalities, and communicate with them so that they have enough sense of security. Personality can be well hidden or disappeared.This process will be very difficult, and Ding Zimu did it in a few months.Xu Lin is the most timid of all the secondary personalities. Now that he can stand up and communicate with himself and Ding Zimu, it seems that Ding Zimu's heart is getting stronger and stronger.

Probably Yang Yiming's calmness affected Ding Zimu, and Ding Zimu calmed down and continued: "When I realized it, I found myself standing at the door of a small courtyard. Now I think it should be the old house I lived in when I was a child. I saw Xu Lin there again, he...he was scary anyway, he told me to leave quickly and I left. Then I went to a dessert shop, where..."

Ding Zimu swallowed the second half of the sentence, he looked at Yang Yiming in embarrassment, hesitated for a while, and felt that those beautiful dreams still could not be told to Yang Yiming.Yang Yiming used to say that he was imprisoned by the past, but now, he actually wants to "imprison" him, put him in a small dessert shop, sit there every day, read a book, and eat what he made for him thing.This kind of obsession should be a kind of "imprisonment", Ding Zimu felt that he was quite scary, he would want to monopolize someone.

"What's the matter there?" Yang Yiming asked after waiting for a while but did not wait for the next sentence.

"It's very comfortable there, and I don't want to leave." Ding Zimu coughed awkwardly and continued, "I seemed to hear someone calling me non-stop, and when I realized it, I was standing at the gate of the yard again , Brother Zheng is here now..."

Yang Yiming's heart sank, it really was him!

"Brother Zheng took me back to the rental room. I found that I couldn't get out of the yard, so I quarreled with him. Finally, Da Ding came... By the way, Mr. Yang, I saw Da Ding!" Ding Zimu was suddenly excited When he got up, he slapped his hands and said happily, "I really saw him. He is similar to what I imagined. I think he should be the kind of person who looks fierce."

Yang Yiming thinks this is really interesting. Ding Zimu has a sense of fear towards Xu Lin's little boy, which is understandable; he has a very casual attitude towards Brother Zheng who has been with him for a long time, which is also normal; Da Ding, who had never met, felt inexplicably excited and familiar.

"Is he fierce?" Yang Yiming asked.

"It looks fierce," Ding Zimu thought for a while and said, "But, his fierceness will not scare you, but will make you think he is a very good person. Just like, um, brother , I usually annoy you so much, but if someone dares to bully you, he can beat you to death while scolding you for being a worthless, worthless snack. Deserves death'."

Yang Yiming twitched the corners of his mouth, which couldn't have been more vividly described.

"Do you like him?" Yang Yiming asked.

"I like it!" Ding Zimu nodded, smiling uncontrollably, "At that moment, I felt like I had relatives."

"I'm not your relative?" Yang Yiming put a spoon on his lips and uttered such a sentence, only to find that the question was too ambiguous and had a...sour taste after finishing the citing.

Ding Zimu thought of his dream of the dessert shop again, and Yang Yiming who was sitting in the sun reading a book, just like now.The warm sun outside the window enveloped him, coating him with a faint layer of gold, and he just sat there, within his reach, "You are different from them."

Yang Yiming regretted it after asking, so he very much hoped that Ding Zimu could pretend he didn't hear it or make a fool of himself, but after hearing such a serious answer, he felt itchy: "Why is it different?"

"You...you are a teacher." Ding Zimu struggled for a long time to say this sentence.

Yang Yiming thought unrequitedly: Don't remind me, I know that I am a teacher, I am a model for others, I am a teacher, I am a teacher, and I am a model, um, I am an upright person!Upright!just!

So Yang Yiming put up a very "honest gentleman" and said: "Let's continue, Da Ding."

"Oh," Ding Zimu was happy again when Ding was mentioned, "Ding helped me speak."

"What did he say?"

"Brother Zheng said you..." Ding Zimu paused, lowered his voice and said, "You said you were lying to me, you sold me and I paid you back the money, and then Da Ding said I deserve it, he said' Let him be cheated once and he will have a long memory." Ding Zimu recalled Ding's tone, and said with a smile, "He is actually quite good."

"It's good to have protected you for so long."

"Teacher Yang, can I still see him in the future?" Ding Zimu asked.

"If he wants, you can see him." Yang Yiming was a little sad when he said this, he knew that Da Ding actually didn't want to see Ding Zimu, and if possible he didn't want Ding Zimu to come back.The reason why he helped Ding Zimu was because he wanted Ding Zimu to come back.Yang Yiming felt that he was a cruel person. He looked down at the mobile phone in his palm, smiled wryly, and finally understood why consultants were prohibited from having emotional entanglements with patients.

"Really?" Ding Zimu thought for a while and said, "If I see him next time, I must say thank you to him."

Yang Yiming sighed, wondering if there will be a next time.

"Ding Zimu, your story is finished, I have a supplementary version here, do you want to listen to it?" Yang Yiming encouraged himself, and then said.

"Yes." Ding Zimu's eyes were full of hope, "Did someone tell you, Xu Lin is still Da Ding?"

Yang Yiming spread out his hands, with a mobile phone in his palm: "It's Xu Lin, he talked about the past, I don't know if you want to hear it or not."

"miss you!"

Yang Yiming curled up his fingers, clutched the phone and said, "You have to be mentally prepared, this is not a pleasant thing, it is much more terrifying than being beaten and hanging a puppy."

Ding Zimu smiled, not a wry smile or a forced smile of helplessness, but a smile that melts the wind and ice, faint, a bit chilly but full of vitality and hope:

"Is it sexual assault? I guessed it, those books are not for nothing. But what has happened, it's useless to be afraid, isn't it? Besides, I can know everything after adding that piece, you said But I can slowly get better when I know everything."

So Yang Yiming decisively pressed the play button.

From the moment Xu Lin choked into his ears, Ding Zimu was surrounded by overwhelming memory fragments, frames of pictures, screams, and the smelly sticky touch and the pain of being whipped on his body , came along with Xu Lin's crying.He felt that he was thrown into a different dimension, twisted and messy, and he was hit and pulled involuntarily. In the severe headache, he felt a feeling of being filled, and a kind of suffocation suppressed in his heart was dissipating.

After the severe pain, he felt inexplicably at ease.

***

Yang Yiming felt that Xu Lin had talked for a long time, but the actual playback was very short, so short that he had no time to think about how to appease Ding Zimu, and the recording ended.

There was a dead silence in the room, Yang Yiming watched Ding Zimu's face gradually pale, fine beads of sweat burst out from his forehead, and watched those beads of sweat disappear slowly, his pale face gradually improved.Finally, Ding Zimu slightly turned his head and asked, "Where did Da Ding take Xu Lin?"

"Uh... I don't know." Yang Yiming was stunned for a moment, and said truthfully, he had never thought about what it would be like to be in that non-existent world, but Ding Zimu would think of such a question at such a time.

Ding Zimu looked at Yang Yiming, reluctantly pulled the corner of his mouth and said, "Mr. Yang, I'm fine, really, actually...it's actually much better than I thought."

Yang Yiming raised his eyebrows.

"I read what was written in those books... Anyway, I thought at first... that Ding Kuiqiang kept saying that I was not born by him."

Yang Yiming understood what he meant: "You...you really know how to comfort yourself."

"Really," Ding Zimu said solemnly, "Many cases are like this, the one written in "24 Personalities" is even more..."

"Are you trying to say that you are quite lucky?" Yang Yiming struggled for a long time, but still put aside the idea of ​​being a good teacher, he threw his arms around Ding Zimu's neck, and rubbed his neck fiercely. Hair, "Why does your kid have such a wide heart."

Ding Zimu was suddenly hugged into a warm embrace, the man's arms were not strong but powerful, tightly wrapped around his shoulders, his warm breath passed over his forehead, his fingers rubbed against his scalp, making a rustling sound, It makes my heart itchy.Ding Zimu heard his heart beat faster and faster, getting louder and louder.He seemed to see the small dessert shop and the man sitting in the sun reading a book again.

Completely subconsciously, without any time to think and consider, Ding Zimu put his arms around Yang Yiming's waist, leaned over naturally, and put his forehead on Yang Yiming's shoulder.

It's a hug, necks meet.

"Teacher Yang, I really feel very lucky." Ding Zimu pressed his voice into Yang Yiming's shoulder, and said, "Really, it was luck that I met you because of that little shit."

Yang Yiming froze for a moment.

Ding Zimu didn't speak, he hugged quietly for a while and then let go: "Mr. Yang, did I scare you?"

"How can this be frightening?" Yang Yiming coughed, "I'm clearly overwhelmed by your praise, I forgot what I just said, hey, where did we go?"

"I just finished listening to Xu Lin," Ding Zimu said shyly, rubbing his nose.

Yang Yiming sat back to his original position, and put on that "upright" look again: "Do you remember the past?"

"Probably, it's a bit of a mess, but I know what it is."

"Okay." Yang Yiming clapped his hands, "Then go back to the house and go to sleep, and call Yuan Qiao at night, that kid is about to die for you."

"Ah?" Ding Zimu was stunned, "This is... the end?"

"Otherwise, why else?" Yang Yiming said with a smile, "DID is the separation of the part you don't want to face or the part you particularly desire. Xu Lin is the part you don't want to face. The meaning of his existence is to replace you Keep it a secret, now that you know the secret, his work is meaningless."

"Then...that...he will..."

"That depends on where Dading hid him," Yang Yiming said, "If he can feel safe enough in that place, and your mind is stable enough, he won't come out. If you encounter any special fear Things to avoid, he may run out again."

"Then how can we make him..." Ding Zimu didn't know what words to use to describe it.

"Disappear?" Yang Yiming chuckled softly, "It's not necessary. He will never really disappear, but he will hide and not interfere with your life, and just sneak out to take a look at it very occasionally. For example, when you watch TV , you may suddenly want to watch "Blissful" or "Bear Infested", then maybe Xu Lin wants to watch it; for another example, you may have a special craving for KFC at a certain moment, maybe Xu Lin is also greedy. Of course, he also has It may gradually become one with yourself, causing a little harmless change in your personality, for example, you may always be interested in some exciting rides, until you are 70 years old, you still want to ride the jumping machine."

Ding Zimu stared at Yang Yiming dumbfounded: "He, he, he..."

Yang Yiming patted Ding Zimu's hand: "You have to treat him better, he is still a child."

"Ah?" Ding Zimu couldn't accept it a little bit, "Can't he... that... go away?"

"No, once he is formed, he is independent." Yang Yiming said while carefully observing Ding Zimu. He had never mentioned these topics to him before.Because Ding Zimu has always regarded "curing" as his life goal, which is his hope and motivation to persevere, and Yang Yiming does not want this motivation to disappear.But now, Yang Yiming is confident enough that Ding Zimu can face the truth, and the saddest hurdle has passed.

"Ding Zimu," Yang Yiming held Ding Zimu's hand slightly, giving him support and encouragement, "What I'm going to tell you next is very important, so listen carefully."

Ding Zimu's hands trembled slightly, and his ears became hot. He collected himself and said, "Okay."

"The symptoms of DID may change or lessen, but the disease itself will not resolve spontaneously. The ultimate way to treat it is to promote coordination and cooperation among various personalities to reduce symptoms. This process requires three steps. The first The first stage is to strengthen your sense of security and make you strong enough to face traumatic experiences and personality problems. The second stage is to help you recall those experiences and relieve the causes of dissociative symptoms. Connect, integrate and repair social functions. To put it simply, it is to fuse your parts into one. You did a very good job in the first two steps. When I reported your situation to Professor Friedman, he was on the other side of the ocean. Yelling, saying that I have never met such a wonderful patient like you in my life."

Ding Zimu forced a smile, "Thank you." Then he asked softly with a bit of frustration: "Then, what's the difference from now?"

"He will not occupy you." Yang Yiming said, "He may influence you subtly but will not occupy you, you will not disappear."

Ding Zimu's eyes lit up, and he straightened up: "Won't it disappear? Can I still control myself? The rational one? Live the life I want to live:"

Yang Yiming's eyes became hot, from the beginning to the end, whether Ding Zimu or Ding Zimu, in the end, what he wanted was the same: to live the life I wanted to live!

"Yes," Yang Yiming nodded affirmatively, "Every moment, you are you, and your life is up to you."

"Then will you still be with me?" Ding Zimu blurted out.

"Yes." Yang Yiming nodded again, "I promised you, I will be with you."