That temple that person

I woke up in a sharp pain, and all I could see was darkness.In the darkness, there are two ghostly blood-red will-o'-the-wisps staring at me.I slowly got used to the light in the darkness. The huge mouse standing on the haystack and looking at me blinked its red eyes, chirped, and dragged a thick black tail and rushed into the corner of the wall. a hole.

I looked down at the pain.Both hands are scarlet, and now it is not clear which ones were bitten by the rats and which ones were beaten by the jailer.I thought I was numb from the pain.I don't know what time it is. During the day, there are always people crying and calling to see the magistrate, and at night, there are always people crying and sobbing, like the wronged souls closed at the gate of hell.But now, even the prison cell fell into a dead silence. Occasionally, there would be a terrifying cry from the depths of the cell, as if from a beast deep in the ground, but it was only for a moment, and then fell into a hopeless silence.Is that the last cry before dying?

Probably.People who are still alive cannot make such a cry.

I can't sleep all the time, even though I'm very tired during the day.The mattress in the cell exudes a musty smell, and moss is spreading on the walls. Maybe there have been a few autumn rains in the past few days, and there is a damp air in this place.I curled myself up into a ball of flesh and blood, and still felt that the blood on my body was about to drain dry.How many days have passed?Those wounds had no time to heal, and were roughly torn open by the whip, and even a piece of fragile scab that had formed was blown away, becoming a delicacy for mice and cockroaches.Later, it simply stopped scabbing and let the blood flow freely.Probably even my body felt that the death was not far away, so it also gave up struggling.

How many days has it been?Always awake at night.I stretched out my hand to push aside the pile of withered grass that was stained bright red by blood, squinted through the blurred moonlight that came in through the window, and saw that there were traces that I secretly carved with stones on the ground.I lay down on the ground and carefully counted the scratches on my unbroken little finger: one, two, three, four, five.

It turned out that five days had passed.I didn't have the energy to sit up, so I just lay on it, and let a few cockroaches crawl over me.The walls of the prison seeped water quietly, tick, tick, tick, singing quietly in the small puddle in the corner.I suddenly thought, what would happen if I couldn't bear it tomorrow, if I died tomorrow?

I thought about it once before.I thought I had died once and would not repeat such an ending.At that time, I saw those jailers roll up the stinking corpses in a mat and throw them into a mass grave. I hid in the corner and sneered.I laugh at the injustice of heaven, I laugh at the ruthlessness of fate.Smiling and laughing, tears also covered my bloody face.There are so many people like me in this big prison, how many people have died of injustice, and they can't leave. Maybe this is the real reason why the prison is always cold and damp.I was afraid of death, afraid of not seeing my parents and relatives.

If, at that time, I knew that everyone in the Bai family would end up killing and selling, then I would rather never get out of that cell and never see the cruel truth under the sun.Just like this moment, at this moment, I was very clear in my heart, and I told myself that I hoped that I would die right then, not to be rescued or threatened.

Bai Qingjing, Bai Qingjing, when you were young, you thought your life was a life of carved beams and painted buildings, a golden house and a lofty sky, but who knew that when you were scattered in a foreign country, you were just trapped in this dark square inch.Galloping on a horse in Jinghua is just a joke made by God with me.Behind the high wall, there is a meager moonlight, vague, like a layer of veil, and my eyes are also blurred like that moonlight.If how many days and nights in that year, pushing cups and changing cups, drunkenness and dreaming, is just a joke, that period of time in the mountains, should it be said to be short or long?

It will always be submerged in the dust of time, it is not worth mentioning, and it is also unbearable to mention.What would Fang Yao say, would he pretend he didn't see it, didn't know it, or just laugh it off?

I thought of the pursuit that night as if history repeated itself, and I ran in another direction. In the night, I looked back at the figure facing the wind on the roof, and I could see the astonishment in his eyes from a long distance away.There is still a lot to say, but Fang Yao can probably understand it.Xiao Tianlong may not be able to come back, even if he does, he may just say "I knew he was not such a good person."

In the end, I was still not reconciled, not reconciled to being by his side without my company.Even if there was Fu Shikang, how could Fu Shikang understand him?Before the Buddha statue, will he pray for the Buddha's forgiveness for me?But I still can't sit beside him until late at night and spend every extravagant night.

My throat finally choked up.

I didn't die on this night, the moonlight turned into sunlight in the mist, shining on my eyelids which were barely open.When the chains that locked the cell began to make ugly noises, the vicious faces of the jailers seemed to float in front of my eyes again, mixed with curses, and a blood mist was stirred up.On the sixth day, I said to myself, the sixth day, should I die today?

The jailer reeking of alcohol kicked the door, waved his hand impatiently and said, "Wake up! Someone is waiting outside to pick you up!"

Inside the cell and outside the cell are two completely different worlds.The further I went outside, the more glaring the light became.In the dazzling light, there is a vague silhouette of a human figure standing at the end of the passage.The glare of the light forced my eyelids to burst, I covered my eyes, and staggered two steps on the soles of my feet.I didn't fall down, and held my shoulders firmly with both hands.

Along the way, the scenery remains the same, but the people have changed.I didn't want to get close to Shahua, so he followed me silently, watching me staggeringly.When I was in prison, Shahua was the one I wanted to see the most. After finally getting out, the last thing I wanted to see was Shahua.

Shahua only wore a simple monk's robe. He said that the government had no conclusive evidence, so he gave his sex to the official.Just for me, for someone like me.As long as I lower my head, I can see my tattered clothes that stink in the prison, those bloodstains, those ugly scars, and my fingernails are full of dirt.

Why, for a person like me, he even took off his penis.In the future, what he may lose is more than external objects?I turned my back to Sha Hua and laughed at myself: "Look, I look like a cockroach or a mouse in a prison. I'm afraid I'll dirty you."

Shahua was behind me, speaking very calmly: "It's no different from when I first came here. I didn't think it was wrong at the time, and I don't think it's wrong now." I stopped on the stone steps, maybe because I didn't have the strength to go one step further , tears fell drop by drop on the stone steps, as if a deep hole was about to be smashed, I murmured: "It's different, how could it be different...Of course it's different!"

I turned around so that he could see clearly my distorted blood-stained face and trembling broken body, and laughed loudly: "Look at me, I am a wanted criminal full of crimes, not only the surface is dirty, but even The bones are rotten inside! How long will you pity me with my appearance? How long will you pity me!"

"Don't cry." He stepped forward and pulled me into his arms.Warm, clean embrace, mixed with a faint scent of sandalwood, my tears fell on his shoulders, forming a water stain.The setting sun shines all over the mountains, and the forests are all dyed. The sunset glow in the sky weaves a greedy dream for me.The setting sun slowly disappeared from the mountain at an invisible speed, I was afraid of the darkness, I grabbed the hem of his back and heard him say: "This is not pity."

The melodious flute sound echoed in the mountains, melancholy and bewildered.

Shahua helped me and walked towards the mountain gate step by step.Pushing open the temple door, I saw Fu Shikang chopping firewood silently. When he saw me, he was neither surprised nor inquired.Shahua took me back to the room, and used scissors to cut off the clothes stuck to the blood.The top-quality Jinchuang medicine was placed on the table, but Fang Yao was nowhere to be seen.

In the middle of the night, Fu Shikang knocked on the door: "The water is ready."

This was the first time I saw Shahua roll up his sleeves. In the hot air, his fingers were flawless, and he wiped my scarred back with a bath towel.It was clearly scalding water, but my skin trembled slightly.He scooped up a spoonful of water and poured it from my shoulder to the back of my hand, splashing with ding dong, jumping in the bucket.Looking at this picture, I was in a trance for a while. I couldn't believe that I could come back here.Shahua asked softly behind me: "Is the water temperature right?"

I didn't answer, just looked at my arm, and along that arm, the hideous scars spread all the way to my chest, like a wall of flesh that was indiscriminately carved with a knife, ridiculous, funny, and ugly.I looked up at Sha Hua's face, and couldn't help stretching out my hand to trace his eyebrows and eyes. I was a little fascinated, but at the end I was a little lost: "Look, I look so ugly, I..."

He gently hugged my shoulders, and his cold skin touched me, and my heartbeat couldn't help but speed up for a while.His breath was behind my ear, with a worldly intimacy: "You are not ugly, you have always been good-looking." My face turned red for such an ordinary sentence, as if the sentence was repeated thousands of times. silk like a net.My voice was as low as a mosquito humming: "You should have said it before. I just heard it now. I lost money."

Shahua smiled slightly, stroked my cheek, and pressed his face tightly.No amount of sweet talk can compare to this moment, when we let go of all our attachments and concerns, silently rubbing our ears together.It would be great if we could hold each other like this forever and never separate.

That night, I held Shahua in my arms and lay there all night. Until dawn, Shahua still hadn't woken up.I stood by the bed, looked at it for a long time, and then slowly squatted down, drawing his eyebrows and eyes with my hands.I have no tears, the tears have already dried up in my heart.

In the dim light, Fang Yao's expression was also unclear.He stood not far away, with his hands behind his back: "Have you really thought about it?"

"Fang Yao, don't let him die."

Leaving these words, I put the sword behind my back, walked out of the mountain gate in the twilight of morning light, walked down the stone steps, walked out of the mountain forest, and walked towards those bloody storms that belonged to me.