inexhaustible

The green number on the signal light started counting down from "90". I wanted to ask someone for help, but everyone was in a hurry, or was attracted by the accident not far away, and they hurried away before I could speak.

There are people coming and going on the zebra crossing, and time is clearly flowing, but I seem to be standing still there, out of tune with the surroundings.

"Hi, can you..." I stretched out my hand to stop a young man passing by me, but the other party didn't even look at me, just focused on making a phone call.

"It seems that something happened to someone in front. There are a lot of people. I'll go and have a look."

Tightening my fingers, my heart was gradually filled with anxiety.There is nothing you can do when you are right in front of your eyes. This feeling of powerlessness is really disgusting.

12 years later, nothing has changed, I still can only watch misfortune happen, there is nothing I can do.

My friend's screams lingered in my ears, and the countdown to the green light of "tat-tat-tat" was like a mourning song from hell, which made my mind flustered.

"Can someone help me?"

"……please help me!"

"Help……"

He had obviously roared with all his strength, but as soon as the voice came out, his throat seemed to be blocked by something, appearing weak and vague.

After my rehabilitation failed, I completely gave up on myself and didn't want to try anything again.Waking up suddenly in the middle of the night one day, I vaguely heard the conversation of my parents outside the door.

The mother said sadly: "What will he do in the future? What will we do in the future? I shouldn't have let him go out with those people. What a crime I have committed. The child who was brought up with great difficulty did not enjoy the blessings." , something like this happened."

After a long silence, the father sighed and said: "If you save your life, you can be regarded as completely useless."

"It's not as good as..."

"What nonsense!"

Before the mother finished speaking, she was severely interrupted by the father, obviously he knew what she was going to say next.

Not as good as... not as good as what?Why not die with the other three?Would it be better to end the pain once and for all than to become waste?How about being disabled from the start so they don't have to look forward to it?

That was the first time I clearly realized that even if I was still alive, even if I still had the ability to organize clear language, I could still do many things by myself, but in the eyes of most people, I could no longer see the future.

The original bright avenue of stars has been replaced by complete darkness. I can't see my fingers, like a hideous and deep mouth, waiting for the opportunity to devour me anytime and anywhere.

Why can't you even do this well?

From childhood to adulthood, what I heard the most was this sentence from my mother.I didn't feel anything before, I just blamed myself for not meeting her expectations.But ever since I heard the conversation between her and my father, for some reason, this sentence appeared more and more in my dreams, entangled with it all night, and it seemed to have become a knot in my heart.

Yeah, why can't I even do this well?

How can I... can't even do this well?

"Beijiao?" There were still ten seconds left in the countdown to the green light, and Shang Muxiao's voice suddenly sounded in front of him.

I turned around suddenly and found that he was standing in front of me, looking down at me, his limbs were intact, there was no injury or pain.

Turbulent emotions hit me, one moment my heart was still gloomy like the end of the world, and the next moment it was raining and the sky was full of stars.

"Great..." The voice was still weak, revealing the luck of the rest of the life after the catastrophe.

"What?" He didn't hear clearly, and bent slightly.

I didn't answer, I just stretched my arms and hugged him, regardless of the surrounding environment and the surrounding gaze.He was unprepared and almost fell when I led him, so he hurriedly got down to hold on to the armrest of the wheelchair to maintain his balance.

The human body is a representation of the world, governed by inner desires.Desire is driven by will.The will communicates desire through the body and dominates our world.

When your world becomes more dazzling than ever because of the arrival of a person, you should be vigilant, that is the fall of will.

Reason is dead, instinct is king, my city is still there, it is indestructible.But once the will falls, it's another matter.

That means, in the confrontation with Shang Muxiao, I was completely defeated.He captured me, occupied my world, captured my will, and made me a prisoner of love so far.

"I just left for a while, you miss me so much?" He smiled, a little surprised.

I didn't speak, I put my arms around his neck, hugged him silently for a while, and felt that more and more eyes were cast on me, so I let go.

The signal light had already turned red and we had to wait for another green light.

"Aren't you going to buy balloons?" I glanced at Shang Muxiao's hand, except for the gift bag, I didn't find any hydrogen balloons.

"Oh, just after I bought it, another child came over and said the same thing as me, but the boss only had the last Shiba Inu left, so the child's mother begged me to give the balloon to her son. I think the child is very cute, I just gave him the balloon." He looked behind him to the noisy place, and said, "There seems to be an accident over there, I don't know if anyone is injured."

I couldn't help holding his hand and whispered, "I hope no one gets hurt."

I hope everyone is just a false alarm.

Shang Muxiao found a restaurant to eat western food. The environment was elegant and dim. To create an atmosphere, each table lit a flickering electronic candle.

At the end of the meal, melodious dance music suddenly sounded from a vinyl record player not far away, and two dancers slowly entered the venue, shaking gently to the sound of the saxophone.

The waiter came over and explained that this is a special event for Christmas. If the guests are interested, they can also dance together, and they can enjoy a discount when paying the bill.

As soon as he finished explaining, many table couples walked onto the dance floor holding hands.

"The one with the glasses dances pretty well..." Shang Muxiao took a sip of lemonade, keeping his eyes on the couple on the dance floor, "Ah, that fat man stepped on his girlfriend's feet three times, and his girlfriend should be about to die again. Got angry."

Sure enough, as soon as he finished speaking, the girl in the couple pushed her boyfriend violently, turned around and limped back to her seat, her face as black as the bottom of a pot.

Shang Muxiao smiled rather gloatingly: "Let me tell."

It's not good to laugh at others like this, but seeing him smile, I can't help but want to laugh too, so I can only bury my face lower, so that the funny is not so obvious.

Shang Muxiao finished dinner with me, took me to the parking lot and left, saying he was going to the bar to pick up the car, and asked me to meet at school on Monday.

From yesterday to today, making out, giving gifts, dating, celebrating Christmas, as far as couples are concerned, we have done almost everything we can, and the process is perfect and complete.But for some reason, at the moment of separation, my heart was still empty.

It wasn't until the car drove halfway, waiting for the signal light, staring at the dazzling bright red in the distance, that I woke up like an enlightenment, that was not "lost", but "reluctance".

I began to resent having him only briefly.After "jealousy" I got "possessive".

Early Sunday morning after Christmas, I called my physical therapist and made an appointment for rehab.

He repeatedly confirmed with me three times, and after getting my 100% affirmative answer, his voice sounded more excited than mine.

"It's great that you can change your mind!" He became curious, "Why did you suddenly figure it out?"

I know that even if I try my best to recover now, it will be impossible for me to get out of the wheelchair for the rest of my life.I have missed the best time for rehabilitation, and it is impossible to achieve good results.but……

"Five minutes is enough."

"what?"

"I want to... dance with my lover for 1 minute, as long as I can last 1 minute is enough."

1 minute is not enough, 30 seconds is enough, 30 seconds is not enough, even ten seconds... I also want to stand and dance with Shang Muxiao.

The physical therapist was stunned for two seconds before he realized it, and said with emotion: "So it's the magic of love, no wonder."

All incredible changes often become easier to understand if they are named in the name of love.This can be said to be the magic of love, but I prefer to regard it as the starlight that dispels the haze and illuminates the way forward for me.

On New Year's Day, it rained very heavily, and I went to Shen Luoyu's house for dinner.When my aunt heard that I was going to try rehabilitation again, she shed tears of joy.

After drinking an ear of chicken soup for the soul, she didn't let me go until nine o'clock in the evening, when she was about to rest.

Shen Luoyu sent me downstairs and asked me when I planned to show them the object.

"He...is a bit different." I hesitated, "Give me a little more time."

Shen Luoyu nodded with a smile: "Okay, it's up to you."

When I got home, it started to rain at eleven o'clock.Not big, but it looks like it will take a long time.

Dongyu is the most annoying.The rain in summer is like cotton falling from the sky, harmless and warm; the rain in winter is like a knife falling from the sky.

Thinking of Shang Muxiao's embarrassing appearance when it rained last time, he went from a high-flying wolf cub to a drowned dog, not to mention being sick for several days.

I was a little worried about his state this time, so I couldn't help but call him.He didn't answer the first one. About half an hour later, I called the second one. After a long ringing, he finally answered.

"Hello?" His voice was a little hoarse, as if he had just woken up from sleep, and he was still angry.

"Are you ok?"

There was silence at the other end, and after a while, Shang Muxiao smiled and said, "Did you call me in the middle of the night to ask me if I was okay?"

When he said that, I also felt a little stupid.

Pursing my lips, I said, "It's raining outside."

He seemed to have listened to the movement outside for a while: "So it's raining, so I said why I'm so tired and can't wake up."

"Anyone with you?" I asked.

"Does the ugly dog ​​count? It sleeps at my feet." He yawned big. "In the evening, I, my sister, my dad and his mistress had a rare reunion dinner. I drank some wine and went to bed at ten." I'm asleep, I don't know if my sister is gone, but my dad and the others should still be there."

I put my heart down: "Sorry, I woke you up. Go on to sleep, I'm hanging up."

"and many more……"

I slowed down: "What?"

"You turn on your phone and put it aside, I want to sleep with you."

What he said sounds a bit ambiguous at first glance, but he can't find any faults when he examines it carefully, which makes people feel hot.

"Okay." I turned on the speakerphone and put the phone next to the pillow.

"Teacher, I want to hear a bedtime story, can you tell me one?"

Perhaps because of the rainy day, he looked more delicate than usual.

Turning off the light, I lay on my back on the pillow, stared at the dark ceiling and thought for a while without focus, then closed my eyes and said: "Once upon a time there was a philosopher named Schopenhauer who was born wealthy and talented. At the age of 21 , he studied medicine at the University of Göttingen, and suddenly felt that he was more interested in philosophy, so he went to Berlin instead. In the following years, he published several works. Through the book "The World as Will and Representation", he Got a chair in philosophy at the University of Berlin..."

"At that time, there was a philosopher named Hegel, who was a leading figure in the philosophical world. Everyone looked up to him. Schopenhauer was proud and arrogant. He had never suffered any setbacks in his life. He felt that he was no worse than Hegel, so he put The lecture time was scheduled to be with Hegel. As a result, because too few people attended, his lecture was forced to be cancelled.”

"In the end, he left the university in anger, settled in Frankfurt, and lived a happy life with his huge wealth ever since."

After dryly reciting Schopenhauer's life, I listened carefully to the other end of the phone. Shang Muxiao was breathing calmly and had already fallen asleep.