inexhaustible

The weather was cloudy, and I was worried that it would rain, so I brought an umbrella when I went out.

The activity point of the psychological mutual aid group is not far from my home, about five kilometers away, in the indoor gymnasium of an elementary school.

I heard from Shen Luoyu that the person in charge of the team is the administrative staff of this elementary school, so they can borrow the unused gymnasium at night.

My car is still under repair, so I can only call and book a taxi to pick me up.It just so happens that a car that can hold me is not available anytime and anywhere. After waiting for a long time, a yellow taxi arrived late.

When I arrived at the destination, a middle-aged lady with a kind face and a plump figure was already waiting in front of the gymnasium.When he saw me, he smiled so hard that his eyes narrowed.

"You are Beijiao, right? Hello, I am Liao Yinnian, the head of the Optimistic Psychology Group. Just call me Sister Liao. Ms. Shen has told me about your situation before, don't feel pressured, just come here to make friends Yes," she said, walking around behind me.

I saw her intention and quickly stopped her: "No, I can come by myself, just help me close the door."

Sister Liao froze for a moment, then nodded: "Oh, good."

A lot of people had already arrived in the room, and everyone sat in a circle around the ping-pong table, and everyone had an English black tea cup in front of them.

"Do you want black tea or coffee?" Sister Liao led me to the table.

I looked around, nodded slightly to those who met my gaze, and replied: "Tea, thank you."

Sister Liao grabbed the teapot from the side and filled it for me.

There were about six or seven people present, old and young, men and women, all dressed in different ways.These people are much healthier than me just by looking at their appearance, and they don't look like people who are full of sorrow.If sister Liao hadn't confirmed with me earlier, I would have wondered if Shen Luoyu had reported me to the wrong group.

"Okay, it's almost time, let's start first." Sister Liao clapped her hands high-five, making everyone look at her, "Originally there was a newcomer, but I guess he won't come, so let's not wait." .”

Almost as soon as she finished speaking, the door of the gymnasium was pushed open, and the smell of fresh water and the cool night wind poured in.

I turned my head to look together with everyone, just in time to see Shang Muxiao stepping into the room with a dark face.It must have been raining outside, making his hair wet, and dark watermarks appeared on the shoulders of the denim jacket.

He wiped his neck with the back of his hand, glanced around the room, and looked at me unexpectedly, his face turned darker while he was stunned.

Who watched this scene and didn't say "Damn" in his heart?

"Are you Miss Shang's younger brother?" Sister Liao greeted her with the same enthusiasm, "Come here and sit down, I'll pretend you're not coming. Is it raining outside? Look, you're all wet, I'll go Get you a towel, you wait."

Shang Muxiao and I looked at each other for a while, then looked away, and sat opposite me.

I picked up the teacup and took a sip, sighing inwardly.The enemy's road is narrow, how could there be such a coincidence?

Sister Liao quickly brought a brand new towel from the utility room. Shang Muxiao thanked her and took it, and wiped her hair a little.

"Now everyone is here." Sister Liao sat on her seat, like a host, and announced the official start of this psychological mutual assistance activity, "Let's start with the self-introduction of the newcomers." She said, turning her eyes to me.

Although I am used to being watched and being asked questions as a central point, those are all professional needs, which are still very different from the current situation.

Sitting on the podium and giving a lecture, there is no need to confess your heart so deeply.

"My name is Beijiao, Bei from the north, mustard from mustard. I teach in the Department of Philosophy at Qingwan University. I am 32 years old. As you can see, I am a disabled person with paralysis of both lower limbs."

After a moment of silence, to make sure I had finished speaking, Sister Liao took the lead in applauding: "Welcome Beijiao."

"welcome!"

"welcome……"

The rest of the group clapped along, with kind, scalp-tingling smiles on their faces.

"Next." Sister Liao squinted at the young man who was stirring coffee with a silver spoon.

Sensing the scorching gaze of everyone, Shang Muxiao raised his head and let go, the metal silver spoon collided with the porcelain and made a soft sound, which was especially prominent in the quiet environment.

"Shang Muxiao, a sophomore in the Finance Department of Qingwan University, 20 this year." He leaned back and casually introduced himself briefly.

"Oh, both of you are from Qingwan University, what a coincidence." Sister Liao controlled the rhythm and asked the rest of them to introduce themselves one by one.

Housewives, white-collar workers from foreign companies, retired elderly people, bald men, delivery anchors, high school girls... plus Sister Liao, there are exactly nine of them.

Next, Sister Liao asked everyone to talk about their current situation in turn, some changes this week compared to last week, or all kinds of big and small things that people care about.

"My son is not sensible at all. This week I was called by the teacher to go to school again, and I lost all face." The housewife complained, "My husband is completely useless on the bed or under the bed. He is tired when he gets home. The shower and I have nothing else to talk about. Another week of wanting to ditch the husband and the baby."

"Work pressure is very high. I worked overtime every day this week, and my dark circles were almost hanging on the corners of my mouth. My boss kept urging me on the progress of the project. My parents didn't understand me as before, thinking that I deliberately didn't have a girlfriend or get married. Calling me all day long..." The white-collar worker scratched his head irritably, "I feel like I can't hold on anymore."

"The tumor in my lung has grown. But I don't plan to have an operation. I still plan to carry out conservative treatment. I will live to my age, and I don't want to bother anymore..." After the white-haired old man finished speaking, he joked to The white-collar said, "Actually, I have a granddaughter who will be [-] this year. See if you are interested. I can match you up."

There were sporadic laughter at the scene, which eased the somewhat depressing atmosphere.

Shen Luoyu was not mistaken, this place is indeed an "optimistic psychological mutual aid group".Everyone seems to be abandoned by happiness, and the solid disguise on the surface is removed, with the word "bad" written on their faces.

Soon, it will be my turn to tell the story in order.In fact, I didn't know what to say, so I hesitated for a moment before talking about the reason for coming here.

"My family thinks that I am not positive about life, too pessimistic. They want me to make some changes and make me happy, so they signed up for this group for me." I raised my head and looked at everyone, "But I didn't mean to Happiness. I just believe... that life should be full of pain and unsatisfied desires. Optimism is an illusion, misfortune is the norm. I don't have any intention of changing the status quo, I think I am fine."

Live alone, eat alone; far away from family, no lover; lonely, but enjoy loneliness.

Others think I am pitiful, but "poor" is just an objective label. As a subject, my life is not affected by this label.

"If you can choose to restore your body to the healthiest state, don't you want to change?" The protracted ending echoed in the empty gymnasium.

The healthiest state... should refer to the time when I am not paralyzed.

This question is quite embarrassing.

I looked at Shang Muxiao who was asking the question, met his gaze, and did not back down.

"The question doesn't make sense."

There is no way to turn back time, nor can my body return to its healthiest state.And even if I am not paralyzed, human beings are born to die, and from the moment of birth, they are doomed to decline step by step.Physical defeat is inevitable, and immortality is only a dream of Qin Shihuang.

No one spoke for a long time, Sister Liao coughed lightly, and smoothed things over: "You don't need to say too much for the first time, you can listen to others first."

Going clockwise, the bald man confides his troubles about being bald, saying that he is always teased by his colleagues and can’t get a girlfriend; because the host who brings goods has been attacked by black fans all the year round, he can only sleep with sleeping pills every night. He is 1.6 meters five Only weighs more than 80 pounds; high school girls have been good girls since they were young, and they have always been excellent in character and learning. They are loved by teachers and parents, but they have no friends.

All kinds of beings are displayed vividly in this gymnasium, in front of the ping-pong table.

When it was Shang Muxiao's turn, everyone was looking at him.He tilted his chair, his eyes fell under the table, combined with the slight tremor of his arm muscles, I guess he should be playing with his mobile phone.

"Mu Xiao." Sister Liao had no choice but to call him out.

"My sister asked me to come. I listened to her, so I came." Shang Muxiao didn't look up when he spoke, and still maintained the appearance that it had nothing to do with him.

Since Shang Muxiao didn't cooperate well, Sister Liao had no choice but to act as the questioner.

"So, what's your question?"

"My problem is that I don't think I have a problem, but my sister thinks I have a problem."

If it weren't for Liang Zi's knot, I would really like to shake hands with him and sigh "Same sickness and pity for each other".

"Then what problem does your sister think you have?" Sister Liao continued to ask.

The chair shook twice and fell back to the ground. Shang Muxiao finally raised his face, threw the phone on the table, and threw a thunderbolt: "She thinks I want to kill her boyfriend."

Sister Liao was shocked, a little frightened, and lost her voice.

"Do you really want to kill him?" I asked.

Shang Muxiao looked over, as if he didn't expect me to interrupt at this time.

"Of course I'm joking." He curled one corner of his lips, and said unconvincingly, "That man is not good enough for my sister. I may be a bit aggressive in words and deeds, but I just want them to break up."

"However, your sister is also a free and independent individual. Falling in love is her own business. You can listen to her ideas and respect her choice, but you shouldn't interfere. She doesn't need other people's consent to fall in love with her." Family The housewife couldn't stand it and expressed her opinion.

Shang Muxiao nodded, fully agreeing, but determined not to change.

"Indeed, it's not necessary. But I hate that I don't need permission from others, don't I?" Even though his tone was not offensive, it still made people feel creepy.

The housewife may have never encountered such a thorn in her head, so she flinched, took a sip of tea from her teacup, and stopped talking.

It started at 07:30 and ended at 09:30. In the second half, Shang Muxiao left in the name of going to the toilet and never came back.I thought he had left early, but when I went out to see, he was still smoking under the eaves of the door.

The rain was falling lightly, but it was still a little dense.

The group members took their umbrellas and left without saying goodbye, not seeing how enthusiastic they were.Sister Liao said that after leaving this building, everything inside becomes a secret. Even if you meet each other on the road, you can treat them as strangers.Don't be stressed, don't be burdened.

Gradually, only Shang Muxiao and I were left under the eaves.He is on the far right, and I am on the far left. There is a long distance between the two. It looks like only five or six meters, but it is actually a whole Mariana Trench.

Perhaps because of the rainy weather, the car was delayed and I was unable to leave, so I could only huddled under the cramped eaves with Shang Muxiao in embarrassment.

"Why haven't you left yet?"

I turned my head to look at Shang Muxiao, who was leaning against the wall with his hands hanging by his sides, when I met his gaze, he slowly exhaled a puff of white smoke from his mouth.

The smoke caressed his cheeks and slowly dissipated in the air. The damp wind gently pushed it, and a kiss with a faint smell of smoke fell on my face.

It's like... my favorite scene in "Retrograde Wind".

I blinked, and wanted to distance myself a bit, but there was rain next to me, and I really had nowhere to go.

Annoying bitch, can't you just stay side by side?

In order to avoid his misunderstanding, I gave a rare and comprehensive explanation: "Because someone crashed my car, I have to take a taxi when I go out. Unfortunately, it is raining today, and it is difficult to take a taxi nearby. That's why I still The reason for not leaving." After I finished speaking, I stopped talking to him, and lowered my head to continue trying to use the app to hail a taxi.

After waiting for a timeout, I was asked if I wanted to increase the price. I was just about to order it, but my hand was empty.I raised my head in astonishment, and found that Shang Muxiao took my phone away.

"Since I did it, I'll take you back." He said, throwing the cigarette butt into the trash can beside him.

I looked at him in disbelief.This person really wanted to get out. He clearly said that he didn't want to see me again, but now he took the initiative to send me home.

What, regret not taking my "chance"?