Compulsory stir base [entertainment circle]

Zhang Yang scratched his head irritably. Recently, he always felt a sense of madness. He always felt that something was wrong, but after thinking about it, there was no problem. Everything was so logical.But somehow, how did he become a man with a wife?What the hell is a male daughter-in-law? Can such a terrifying reality not drive a straight man crazy?

Half a month later, Zhang Yang still couldn't calm down. How did things develop so strangely? How could he have such a male and female daughter-in-law whom he had never seen before?Zhang Yang said that thinking about it now, he still looks confused.

No, just as he was scratching his head and going crazy, his son-in-law came to message him.

Small Circle: What is husband n (*≧▽≦*) n doing?

Zhang Yang: I'm busy.

The corner of Zhang Yang's mouth twitched, and he was suffering from irritability.Seeing the words "Little Circle", he couldn't help feeling a pain in his ass.Husband, who is your husband's name?Open your mouth and shut up, husband, husband, are you sick?

Sigh~ Zhang Yang raised his head to the sky and let out a long sigh. He couldn't live with his own crimes. The incident dates back to half a month ago.

Speaking of which, it was a beautiful spring day, Zhang Yang was in the dormitory with his legs crossed, brushing his scarf, watching jokes and reading the news, when suddenly, a scarf jumped into his eyes, it was indeed the blogger’s vest that caught his eyes .

Small circles.That's right, it's this vest. Seeing these three words makes me feel a pain in the ass, an unforgettable feeling in this life.

"If there is nothing to love in life, whether to die or not is my destination."

Zhang Yang was taken aback for a moment, in view of the painful misunderstanding between the blogger and Zhang Yang caused by the "small circle", Zhang Yang sent him a private letter by mistake.

Zhang Yang:?

Zhang Yang: Didn't you finish your homework?Was scolded by the teacher?

After 2 minutes, Xiaoquanquan replied.

Small circles: .

Zhang Yang: Speak!

Small circle: ┭┮﹏┭┮

Xiaoquanquan: Living is really tiring.

Zhang Yang: Was scolded by the teacher?Beat up by parents?Lovelorn?

Although the other party repeatedly denied the fact that he was underage, Zhang Yang would not believe it. 2 minutes, 5 minutes... 10 minutes passed... Xiaoquanquan didn't reply.Zhang Yang said that he was lying down, which is unscientific.Xiaoquanquan is not such a Xiaoquanquan, he is a Xiaoquanquan who answers all questions.Suddenly, Zhang Yang didn't know that his nerve was wrong. The words "Life is nothing to love" and "Death" popped up in Zhang Yang's mind. Could this be for real?Adolescent children are usually more vulnerable and prone to extremes.

In an instant, Zhang Yang's blood rushed to his brain, and his sense of responsibility and positive energy swelled.

Zhang Yang: A child?little brother?

Zhang Yang: Just squeak!

However, after 10 minutes, Xiaoquanquan still did not reply.Zhang Yang suddenly lost his patience, but he became more and more worried.Although he is a stranger, after all, human life is at stake.The more Zhang Yang thought about it, the more troubled he became, so he simply threw away his phone to play games.But it didn't take long for him to hang up a few times, causing the brothers in the gang to say that the buddy had changed, and he was still a dead rookie.Zhang Yang looked at his phone depressed again, but still didn't reply.Just plunge into the game and continue to fight monsters.

Two hours passed in the blink of an eye, Zhang Yang finally couldn't hold back and picked up the phone again, this time Xiaoquan replied, but Zhang Yang was so surprised by his content that he bounced off his chair, what the hell.

Xiaoquanquan: Which way should I choose to end myself?

Five pictures were posted in a row.The first one is a track, and the train is approaching fast not far away; the second one is a top view of a high-rise building, which seems to be more than [-] floors at least; the third one is a sharp fruit knife; the fourth one is a turbulent river; the fifth is two bottles of sleeping pills.

After lying down, Zhang Yang was immediately frightened, this guy really wanted to die.How could he let a young sapling wither away like this?Zhang Yang immediately decided to save him.

Zhang Yang: Xiaoquanquan, are you okay?

Zhang Yang: Is little brother there?Just squeak.

Zhang Yang said that he was very anxious, but fortunately, he finally got a response after 5 minutes.

Small circle: squeak.

The corner of Zhang Yang's mouth twitched, alive, is this guy playing tricks on me?

Zhang Yang: Are you okay?

Xiaoquanquan: The wound on the hand has been bandaged, it seems that cutting the wrist is not a good way, it hurts~~~~(>_<)~~~~.

Zhang Yang: I'll wipe it!

Damn, don't you scare me.

Zhang Yang: Don't be overwhelmed, you are still young, tell me something, don't do anything stupid.

Xiaoquanquan: It’s painful and hopeless, the person I like doesn’t like me, what’s the point of living.

Zhang Yang: It's so interesting, it's nothing to be broken in love, how do you know that other girls are so good if you don't break up in love?

Xiaoquanquan: There is no lovelorn.

Zhang Yang: Uh... no matter what, don't overthink it. You are still young and you still have a long way to go in life. Think about happy things.

(Long while) Xiaoquanquan: Yes.

Then there was no response, Zhang Yang was always in a panic, unable to calm down, and was hesitating whether to call the police, when the private message from Xiaoquanquan came again.

Small circle: climb up step by step.

Zhang Yang: Do you also like Jay Chou?

Small circle: picture (overlooking from high altitude).

I wipe!Zhang Yang was frightened again, the baby wanted to jump off the building.

Zhang Yang: Calm down!Calm down dear.

Small circle: picture (the person in the field of vision has become the size of an ant, and it can be seen that it is several floors higher).

Xiaoquanquan: This place is so beautiful.

Zhang Yang: Damn it!Please calm down!

Zhang Yang was really shocked by this guy, and he was a little at a loss for a while, all kinds of persuasion words were bouncing in his mind but he didn't know what to say, and he jumped out a word without thinking.

Zhang Yang: Are you still a virgin?

Small circle: ...

Xiaoquanquan: I was hesitating just now, but now... goodbye.

wipe!mistake!What's wrong with my brain.

Zhang Yang: Calm down!

Zhang Yang: That's not what I mean.

Zhang Yang: I mean, you are still a virgin, how could you just leave like this?You don't know, sex life is really wonderful, if you leave without experiencing it, wouldn't it be a waste of time in this world.

Small circle: ...

Small Circle: Really?

Zhang Yang: It's more real than pearls. I can assure you that once you try it, you will never want to die again.

Small Circle: Have you tried it?

Zhang Yang: Uh... that's right!

Xiaoquanquan: So you have a girlfriend.

Zhang Yang: Er... Actually, I spent money to experience it. (Does the VIP bought with money count?)

Small circle: Oh.

Zhang Yang broke into a sweat, and had no choice but to praise his wit. He hurriedly dug out the treasured version of the island country action movie, and quickly sent three or four.

Zhang Yang: Experience the wonderful world of adults tonight, and you will find that this world is still very exciting.

Xiaoquanquan: I am an adult...

Zhang Yang took a breath. The boy's natural curiosity about the sexes in the budding period will surely divert his attention. After watching the pornographic film, his desire to die will probably pass away. He is really... as witty as me .However, Zhang Yang still underestimated this guy's determination to die.Two hours later, the private message from Xiaoquanquan came again.

Small Circles: Pictures (a big pile of wet tissues, no, a pile)

Zhang Yang: I'll wipe it!Such an exaggeration.

Xiaoquanquan: I vomited.

Zhang Yang:?Fuck, I thought it was your offspring.

Zhang Yang: Why did you throw up?Did you eat pesticides?

Small Circle: Disgusting, you posted it.

Zhang Yang: Why disgusting?

Small circle: dirty, disgusting.

Zhang Yang was immediately stunned, why did he get sick?Could this be a woman?No, I've heard his voice and confirmed it again and again, not to mention that the half of the hand shown in the picture he posted just now is definitely a man's. The joints are clear and slender. Although it is very beautiful, there is nothing wrong with a man's hand.But why do I feel nauseous after watching porn?Could it be... Zhang Yang suddenly had a flash of inspiration, could it be that he likes men?So you need to look at calcium tablets?

Zhang Yang trembled all over, goosebumps all over the place, how to save him?Calcium tablets?No, life is at stake.

Zhang Yang: Do you... like men?

2 minutes later

Small Circle: Yes.

Zhang Yang:! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

I wipe it!Zhang Yang's jaw almost dropped from shock, Zhang Yang expressed that he was lying, boy papers are so popular nowadays, but he vaguely knew the reason why he wanted to die.

Zhang Yang: Is this why you don't want to live?

Small circle: um

Zhang Yang:.

Small Circle: Disgusted?Disgusting?Discriminate?Is it too much for God?

Zhang Yang: Er... don't get excited.

There is no doubt that Zhang Yang was shocked, because the friends and classmates around him were all different, so he didn't know anything about this group, but now as long as he said yes, it is estimated that the fragile child would die immediately for him to see.Zhang Yang had no choice but to ask Du Niang for help.Quick input: sentences praising comrades; classic gay quotes; classic gay quotes... Uh, long live Du Niang.

Zhang Yang: No.Love has no rules and no boundaries. Regardless of heterosexuality, old age or homosexuality, as long as it is a sincere relationship, it is worthy of respect and blessing.

Zhang Yang: So homosexuality is not shameful, nor is it a sin. You have to live according to your own wishes, instead of caring about others' opinions, and you have to live for yourself.

Zhang Yang: It's just that the person you like happens to be a man.

Zhang Yang said a lot in one breath, as if he had become a life mentor, it was so sour, I couldn't believe it.

After 10 minutes, Xiaoquanquan replied.

Small circle: I am not gay.

Zhang Yang looked dazed, so speechless that he suspected that this girl was insane.

Xiaoquanquan: It’s just that the person I like is a man.

Zhang Yang's mouth twitched, is there a difference?

Zhang Yang: If you like it, you like it. Why do you want to commit suicide?

Xiaoquanquan: He doesn't like me.

Do you think everyone is gay!But if you complain about it, Zhang Yang doesn't dare to provoke him.

Zhang Yang: How do you know he doesn't like you?

Small Circle: (⊙_⊙) I just know.

Zhang Yang: Tell me.

Xiaoquanquan: He has girlfriends, several of them.

Zhang Yang: I'll wipe it!many?Do you like this kind of scum?The taste is too unique.

Small circles: Not at the same time.

Zhang Yang: ...does he know that you like him?

Small Circle: I don’t know~~~~(>_<)~~~~.

Zhang Yang: Damn it, you have a crush!

This sad, unlucky kid has a crush on a straight man whose girlfriend has changed several times. No wonder he wants to commit suicide. If it were me, I would at least kill that scum with a knife before committing suicide.

Xiaoquanquan: Well, crush.

Zhang Yang: Then why not continue?

Xiaoquanquan: My heart is so tired, he will never like me.

He has always been a man, so it's strange that he likes you.

Zhang Yang: Don't think so, there are thousands of good men in the world, why bother to fall in love with only one grass, let alone a bad grass full of bugs, it's not worth giving up the whole grassland for him.

Small Circle: No one is better than him.

Zhang Yang: Fart, I am a hundred times stronger than him!

Xiaoquanquan: You can't be my boyfriend (ㄒoㄒ).

Zhang Yang: Who said it couldn't be done!

Oops, sorry, can I undo my mistake?Zhang Yang is surrounded.

Small circle: ╰(*°▽°*)╯Really?Do you want to? ╰(*°▽°*)╯ screwed myself up, what should I do?

Xiaoquanquan: Why didn't you answer?Sure enough, it's disgusting.

Would a normal man accept a stranger he had never met?What's more, it's a man.Also, I agreed to like that scumbag, so how could I stop falling in love in the blink of an eye?

Xiaoquanquan: Sleeping pills should be the least painful. There is no pain, no despair, and you can die peacefully in your dreams.

Fuck!Is he threatening me?We don't know each other before, why bother to push each other so hard!Horse eggs to save or not to save?But Nima's life is at stake, if I reject him now, he won't immediately take the two bottles of sleeping pills, right?Am I not an indirect murderer?

Zhang Yang: Er... you can try it. (A strategy to slow down the army... right)

Small Circle: Really? ╰(*°▽°*)╯Really? ╰(*°▽°*)╯ Zhang Yang: Really. (Tears streaming down my face, I feel that the sacrifice is so great)

Xiaoquanquan: You are so kind.

Zhang Yang: Be good.

Fuck me, goosebumps all over my body, Zhang Yang can only hypnotize himself over and over again, the other party is his favorite soft, cute and cute cute girl, cute and pitiful, she needs me, um yes.I was hypnotized like this for two or three days.

Xiaoquanquan: ...can I call you husband? ?(????ω?????)?.

I wipe! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !Zhang Yang slapped the computer table, why don't you push it so hard!It's true that I want to save you, but isn't it enough to dig a hole for myself, do I have to bury myself?

Also, haven't you been secretly in love with scum for several years?Didn't you seek life and death for him?Why the rhythm of flirting with each other every minute? Sure enough, this guy is playing with me?

Small circle: Can't you?

Small circle: (╯﹏╰).

Small circle: ┭┮﹏┭┮

Zhang Yang: Yes. (silence)

Small circle: ╰(*°▽°*)╯Husband, you are so kind.

Zhang Yang:.

Feeling that there is nothing to love in life, Zhang Yang thought to himself, send the Buddha to the West, but it took another two or three days.

Xiaoquanquan: Husband, what do you call me?

Small circle: ?(????ω????)?.

Fuck, you're never finished!ah?How easy it is to call a husband one by one!How comfortable, are you a man!With your virtue, no wonder you like men!You fucking faggot!I'd rather die!It's annoying me to death, okay?

Xiaoquanquan: Forget it, let’s leave it at that, thank you for making me happy these days, it’s enough to experience the feeling of being cared and loved before dying.I want to see my parents.

Zhang Yang was dumbfounded, Damn, is he threatening me again? Zhang Yang just felt a hundred grass-mud horses galloping past his mind, and Ma Dan threatened me with his identity as an orphan.

Zhang Yang: Daughter-in-law.

Covering his face, Zhang Yang completely gave up resisting.Clap, bang, let your mouth be cheap!No, cheap!Daughter-in-law, fuck.

Small circle: ╰(*°▽°*)╯Huh? (????ω????)? The above is the whole process of Zhang Yang becoming a married man inexplicably, is it weird?What's wrong?Zhang Yang looked at the small circles on the phone screen with a melancholy expression.

Small circle: (⊙o⊙).

The corner of Zhang Yang's mouth twitched, and he typed out a few words without love.

Zhang Yang: What is the daughter-in-law doing?

Damn my daughter-in-law, why is it so easy to say, who told him to come to check his favorability every day and every hour.