[Qi Fu] Prisoner

This is the last record.

Starting tomorrow, I will be able to drop this pen and move on to another task.According to the officer, that was the task I was doing before the accident, and now I am just going to finish it.I have seen the profile photos and content, and the impression I got from it is: Sure enough, I am the type to hold a gun.I imagined that when I picked up a gun, the calluses on my palms and fingertips would fit perfectly into the gun;The weight of the gun, the process of disassembling and reassembling the gun, I always feel that I should have done it no less than a thousand times, and I am very familiar with it.Although I have no memory, my body's reaction is unquestionable. I used to be sure that the gun never left my body.

The data shows that I sat in a very high position in that team and was appreciated and valued by my superiors. Perhaps this can be used to speculate why I was seriously injured and even lost my memory.I guess it was an extremely dangerous operation. Sometimes I would feel inexplicable fear when I woke up, but I couldn’t remember what it was; if I really wanted to describe it, if I had a gun, I would probably go crazy with it Shooting, to the point of panic like that.

The officer may understand this, so at first he didn’t let me touch any weapons, only gave me paper and pen, and asked me to write down as much as possible. Records help with recovery.Taking into account my self-esteem, he will not read what I wrote without my consent.

That being the case, even if I'm lazy and don't write, he won't know, but he is my officer, even though I don't have any impression of his appearance, the admiration, admiration, reverence, and wishing to follow it have long been etched into my bones.I am willing to do anything for him, I can live and die for him, let alone such a small request?

If you ask me why I obey a person so much, I don’t remember the details. It seems that a long time ago, when he was not my officer and I was not his subordinate, my life was very difficult. Say: "It is your freedom to continue to live this life, but do you want to do things with me?" The feeling of belonging from now on, I will never forget it in my life.So, when I just woke up, and during the period when no one was close to me, he suddenly appeared one day, called me "Adjutant Zhang" and asked me to go with him, I immediately knew that he was that person, my sir.

The officer treated me really well. Although I didn't have any production value during my recovery, he didn't show any signs of impatience. He would come to ask me about my recovery every day. When he saw me, he always smiled happily.I really want to respond to his kindness, but for some reason, I always feel like a stranger at that moment. The smile in those eyes is more like the triumphant look of a cat when it catches a mouse than joy.I can't help but avoid his eyes.

Even so, I still look forward to the arrival of the chief.Even in my sleep, I can wake up instantly when I hear the sound of his leather heels tapping and echoing in the hallway.To my shame, I thought he was wearing military boots at the time, and the voice must have been clearer and louder. I often felt in a trance that he would appear at the door in a military uniform.Of course, that's just my imagination.It was only later that I realized that it was also a memory misplacement, and I accidentally confused the officer with my mission goal.I'm really sorry, sir, but luckily he found me first, otherwise, given my situation at the time, if I was taken away by the mission target, I'm afraid I'd be loyal to the enemy from now on without knowing it.

But it's also possible that things won't turn out that bad.I really hated military uniforms from the bottom of my heart. I was really in that team, and sooner or later I would notice something was wrong; deep-rooted concepts cannot be changed after years of undercover work.I hate uniforms, I'm sure I'll feel out of place soon there, but I'll put up with it, pretending I'm one of them, for the sake of my command.

I did not explain my distaste for uniforms to the officer.He seems to like it very much, especially at certain times, he will specifically ask me to wear it.Frankly, I was quite resistant, not only because I hated the look, but also because I knew what was going to happen next.It hurts, and I always feel humiliated whenever he turns my back on me.That was the only order I didn't want to obey.The officer never noticed, and even enjoyed it, and I seemed to excite him very much in my uniform, always rough.I think he's treating me like an enemy and getting the thrill of conquest.The thought of being treated like that by the superior as an enemy makes me sad, and that must be the cause of those horrible dreams I always have afterwards.

I hope that after this task is completed, the officer can end this morbid association and look at me seriously. In that way, maybe I can get used to this kind of thing a little bit.

In any case, it is still a pleasure to be able to carry out the task, especially this time the chief is willing to let me do it, which means that his trust in me has increased.I always get the feeling that he used to trust me quite a bit—that pride of being trusted with all authority is so familiar—and he's been a little overprotective these days.

Tomorrow will be a new beginning, and I will definitely play the role perfectly, vowing to make my side a great success--in order to achieve the necessary effect, I am willing to make any preparations.