miss me

Bai Qingzhou spoke too fast, too low, and too vague, and the deep voice flashed by, making Xia Xinghe afraid to confirm it.

His head buzzed, his heart beat fast, Xia Xinghe thought he had heard it wrong, and asked back, "What did you say?" Bai Qingzhou's Adam's apple moved slightly, but he didn't repeat it.

He didn't know whether Xia Xinghe really didn't hear it or if he didn't want to answer. After the initial impulse passed, the inherent stubbornness and arrogance in his character were revealed again.

In Bai Qingzhou's perception, his posture is already low enough, he learns how to bark for him, and actively does a lot for him, his arrogance does not allow him to bow his head again and again, so he just keeps silent He said nothing.

The low-pitched love song outside the window soon finished playing, and turned into the upbeat Legend of Phoenix, with bright drums beating in my heart, but the atmosphere inside the car was unusually quiet.

The car door was still not unlocked, so sitting still was not an option, Xia Xinghe put his finger on the car door again, Bai Qingzhou frowned, and finally opened his mouth.

"Xia Xinghe," he asked, "Why did you break up with me back then?"

Bai Qingzhou couldn't lower his head, and he didn't want to let Xia Xinghe go just like that. After struggling in his mind, he asked this compromise question.

Up until now, he still didn't think that he was the fault of that year.Yan Cai said that Xia Xinghe cried because of him, but he couldn't think of any reason why Xia Xinghe could happily have dinner with my friends and post on Moments in the afternoon, and just dumped himself so simply in the evening, without a trace feel nostalgic.

Xia Xinghe was taken aback, and asked, "Why are you asking this all of a sudden?"

Bai Qingzhou pursed his lips and said nothing, Xia Xinghe was silent for a moment, then smiled again: "Actually, it's nothing."

That period of memories back then was too deep and heartbreaking. It was the past that Xia Xinghe didn't want to recall the most, but time is indeed a magical thing. As the pain grows older, it is constantly diluted, and it can gradually be brought up. Talked about.

The scars still exist, but they are not so sour and painful. Maybe they were still immature, too young, too arrogant, and took themselves too seriously.

His heart was still sour, as if soaked in lemonade, but Xia Xinghe already had the courage to look into Bai Qingzhou's eyes.

He smiled and said, "It was the day I broke up with you, and my family and I came out."

Xia Xinghe really wanted to be with Bai Qingzhou forever.

Bai Qingzhou came out early, but Xia Xinghe fell in love with someone for the first time, and never told his parents about his sexual orientation.

Xia Xinghe's parents are both teachers, and he is the only child.They love him, love him, and give him everything, but they also retain the ideas of the older generation, conservative, seeking stability, and it may be difficult to accept homosexuality.

Xia Xinghe didn't want his family to become a possible obstacle between them, so he planned for a long time, and finally on that day, with the encouragement of his friends, he came out to his parents.

His parents reacted greatly, even bigger than Xia Xinghe imagined. In fact, he had hinted to them before, but when he really said that he liked the same sex, everything was still out of his control.

His father angrily told him never to come back if he had the ability, and his mother smoothed things over, but asked him over and over again if he was joking.

Xia Xinghe said no, he said he was serious, and his father was about to book a bus ticket to beat him on the spot. He was afraid that the two of them would lose their health, so he let go and didn't tell them the fact that he already had a boyfriend.

He talked with his parents for a long time that day, almost all night. From the initial anger to the later disappointment, the parents talked with him a lot.

Talk about the eyes of the people around him, the discrimination in the working environment, and... the most ardent expectations of his parents for him.

Qiu Guiyue said: "My father and I don't want you to be rich and powerful, but just want you to work like ordinary people, get married, have children, and have a happy family."

He also said: "Other people's eyes are secondary, but if you really find someone of the same sex, you can't get married, you don't have any security, and you don't have children as a support. When you get old, who will take care of you?"

She asked Xia Xinghe: "Have you ever thought about how long a passionate relationship can last?"

At that time, Qiu Guiyue didn't know that Xia Xinghe was in love, but one sentence directly hit Xia Xinghe's sore spot.

Bai Qingzhou was too cold, too stuffy, and stood too high, which often made Xia Xinghe feel that he was loved.

Xia Xinghe, as usual, tried hard to convince himself that Bai Qingzhou just couldn't express, and tried hard to recall the sweet moments between the two of them, but Bai Qingzhou's sudden post on Moments sent him to hell again.

It was a letter of admission to a foreign university.

Bai Qingzhou is going abroad to study for a Ph.D.

But did not tell him in advance.

Xia Xinghe suddenly discovered that Bai Qingzhou seemed to have never told him his plans and ideas, as if there was no place reserved for him in the future.

Disappointment is often only fleeting. Xia Xinghe still loves Bai Qingzhou, but he doesn't have the courage to continue.

There is indeed no deep hatred between them, no hatred, no resentment, no ups and downs in the plot of the bloody TV series, but the passionate love gradually faded in time, under the exhaustion accumulated over time, this simple love can no longer be simple. The news became the last straw that overwhelmed Xia Xinghe.

The fingers trembled, the lips trembled, and the heart trembled.

Maybe it was impulsive, or maybe it was accumulated for a long time, it was accidental or inevitable, Xia Xinghe closed his eyes, and wearily sent the last message to Bai Qingzhou.

[Little Bamboo: Break up. ]

……

……

After the story from Xia Xinghe's perspective was finished, Bai Qingzhou was silent for a long time without speaking. He wanted to explain that things were not what Xia Xinghe thought. He wanted to say that he cared about him, but what did he say? I can't even say it.

He really didn't know that such a story had happened before, and he couldn't imagine what kind of mood Xia Xinghe had when he proposed to break up, resolute, wronged, or disappointed.

As cold and dull as him, it was the first time he experienced what it means to cut flesh with a dull knife, and the dull pain spread in his chest.

The inside of the car became quiet again, and the songs in the shop outside changed several times unconsciously. Bai Qingzhou was still competing with himself who couldn't speak, but after waiting for a long time, it was Xia Xinghe who spoke first.

"It's okay, it's all over, I don't care anymore."

Xia Xinghe sighed lightly, and said, "You can unlock it, it's getting late, I should go home."

past?

Don't care anymore?

So Bai Qingzhou just sat in the driver's seat in a daze, watched Xia Xinghe get out of the car silently, watched him enter the yard and go upstairs, until the voice control lights in the corridor went out, after a long time, he suddenly remembered something, After searching in the address book, he finally called Nie Xingchao.

early morning.

A small bar next to the Central Hospital.

After listening to Bai Qingzhou's story, Nie Xingchao didn't come back to his senses for a while. He only felt that the relationship between the two was strange before, but he never thought that they had a relationship.

"No, you guys are too, too, too..."

Nie Xingchao thought for a long time but couldn't find a suitable word, and finally choked out a sentence, "That's too much!"

"Which one?"

"...It's even worse than the eight o'clock soap opera."

Nie Xingchao couldn't describe his mood, and asked him in disbelief: "It's not a deep hatred between you, have you never communicated with each other since then? Not even once?"

Bai Qingzhou: "...No."

In fact, he tried to contact Xia Xinghe once later, and found that he had blocked him. He felt that his dignity had been swept away, and he couldn't bow his head to find Xia Xinghe after saying anything.

Nie Xingchao hated iron for being weak: "Then why is your mouth long? Is it only for eating and venting?"

"..."

Bai Qingzhou refused to answer this question, remained silent and did not speak.

Nie Xingchao's voice became a little louder, and the people around him looked this way strangely. Nie Xingchao was embarrassed to laugh with them, and when he faced Bai Qingzhou, he calmed down a little.

"...Okay," he sighed, and asked Bai Qingzhou, "Then you have to tell me first, are you really planning to go abroad to study abroad alone? How easy it is to break up a long-distance relationship, have you never thought about it? "

"I've thought about it," Bai Qingzhou replied, "I've already planned it."

He purposely applied for a school where he could accompany him. Under his supervision, Xia Xinghe has also learned English well, and has almost completed the credits. He plans to go there for a while, and use the exchange student quota after everything is arranged. He also arranged for Xia Xinghe to come over, and he took a good look at the house, but he didn't expect that he didn't wait until that day.

After Bai Qingzhou finished speaking, Nie Xingchao was silent again. After a long time, he asked him in puzzlement: "Didn't you plan well? Why didn't you tell him?"

Bai Qingzhou said: "I don't want to be too active."

Nie Xingchao: "..."

Still unwilling to take the initiative!It's good now, so the big guy is going to run away?

Nie Xingchao had fully understood Bai Qingzhou's indifferent temper, but after all, Bai Qingzhou came to him, and he couldn't just sit idly by, so he took a deep breath and asked Bai Qingzhou: "Then what do you think now? Do you still like it?" Him? Want to chase him?"

Bai Qingzhou was silent for a moment, then said softly "um".

Nie Xingchao frowned: "If you want to, you just want to, if you don't want to, you just don't want to. What does 'um' mean?"

"..."

Bai Qingzhou frowned, glanced at him for a long time, and then said in a low voice: "...Think."

Nie Xingchao asked, "What do you think?"

Bai Qingzhou gritted his teeth: "...want to chase him."

"Hey, that's right, love should be spoken out."

Nie Xingchao nodded in satisfaction, and put out a finger in front of Bai Qingzhou in a mysterious manner, "You have found the right person for me. I am known as the master of love. I have more than 30 years of experience. There is no one I can't handle. ..."

Bai Qingzhou: "Let's get to the point."

"Ahem," Nie Xingchao coughed twice, borrowed a pen and paper from the bar next to him, and lay down on the table to sketch Bai Qingzhou, "Now, the situation between the two of you is more complicated, we need to discuss it in the long term, hey~ Moisten things quietly—"

"and many more,"

Bai Qingzhou frowned slightly, and interrupted him: "Maybe it won't moisten things."

Nie Xingchao asked, "Why?"

Bai Qingzhou said: "He will go back to Liu'an next month."

"……Hold!"

Nie Xingchao couldn't help cursing, and asked him, "Then why are you thinking of chasing him now? Why did you go before?"

"Before... I..." Bai Qingzhou paused, and when he couldn't answer, he changed the subject and pointed the finger at Nie Xingchao, "Didn't you say that you are very experienced, and you are still afraid of this?"

"Oh, I have experience." Nie Xingchao said, "Enriched single experience."

I haven't been in a relationship for more than 30 years, commonly known as mother-fetal single.

Bai Qingzhou: "..."

Is this person really reliable?