I'm in Delingha tonight

The closer you get to the direction of Delingha, the more forks in the road, and the signboards are also erected at intervals. The place names in Mongolian and the shadow of the westward sun rush towards you.

Because Chi Nian didn't know the way and could only rely on navigation, Xi Shan changed places with him after resting and drove by himself again.Chi Nian was sitting in the co-pilot, listening to light rock, and Xi Shan would occasionally say a word or two to him.

"Where do you plan to go when you get there?" Xi Shan asked as he passed by another sign.

Chi Nian shook his head: "I don't know."

"Go home?" Xi Shan probed, "Have you contacted your parents?"

Chi Nian's tone was a little hesitant just now, but when he heard "Mom and Dad", he immediately refused very firmly: "I won't go home."

The child ran away from home, and it seemed that he couldn't make a major incident into a minor one. He was in his early twenties and wanted to save face and would not admit his mistakes, so Xi Shan could only say: "Let's take one step at a time."

Chi Nian said yes, and silently swallowed "Can I be with you" deep in his heart.

The mobile phone has recovered its signal, but Chi Nian didn't want to turn it on, so he pretended to be an ostrich, thinking that as long as he didn't check the news, no one would contact him.Chi Nian was afraid that his parents would catch up and ask him, "Where have you been?", or ask him to behave himself and return to Beijing, and he was even more afraid that they would treat Chi Nian as their family no longer.

I used to be emotional for a while, but now I feel very naive. If I want to change, I have no way to start, so I have to grit my teeth and persist.

Chi Nian thought that his rebellious period had been postponed, he couldn't pretend that nothing happened, he couldn't go back home in Beijing, act like a spoiled child to his parents and arrange a job for him.

This will make him look down on himself.

She put her hand in and continued to look out of the window in a daze, all she could see was golden, brilliant but numb.With his mobile phone in his pocket, and not playing for several days in a row, Chi Nian felt that he could get rid of his Internet addiction together.

A few more songs were played.

"Chi Nian." Xi Shan suddenly called his name, "Do you know why Delingha is called 'Delingha'?"

"do not know why?"

Xi Shan turned his head and looked into the distance with bright eyes behind the sunglasses: "This is the Mongolian pronunciation, which means 'golden world'-look, we are almost there."

The huge sign in the golden color quickly passed by the car, and was left far behind.

The green sign, with white text, Chi Nian didn't have time to see clearly.

The meadow is so dense that it is replaced by patches of small white poplars, with occasional wheat growing towards the sun.

"When I first came here, I was a little younger than you are now. After graduating from high school, I flew to Xining by myself and asked my uncle to pick me up." Xi Shan said slowly in the melody of the rock musician's electric guitar, "At that time I first The first time I met him, he was no different to me as a stranger, and we drove to Delingha for eight hours, and we rarely spoke."

He suddenly mentioned his family, "uncle", that is to say, is the mother from here?

Xi Shan said: "Actually, I knew he didn't want to see me, but he had to take me here during that vacation. He didn't care about me going out every day during the whole summer vacation, and he sent me away as soon as the military training in college."

"Hey, are your parents too busy?" Chi Nian asked.

"Busy?" Xi Shan's tone was tinged with sarcasm, "Busy arguing."

Chi Nian: "..."

Xi Shan's next sentence became brisk again: "But it's okay, the conflict is resolved now, and there is no more quarrel. But after I came here once, I like Qinghai very much, so when I don't know where to go during the holidays, I come back here to live for a while."

Chi Nian also followed his topic: "Is this also where you bought the car?"

"Well, I bought a car after graduating from college, and there was no lottery at that time." Xi Shan laughed, "I don't usually come here, so this car is used by my cousin. He does business in Xining, and he didn't drive it very much after getting married last year. Just help me with maintenance or something... After I come, I will go to his house to pick up the car."

"No wonder there is so much dust."

"Be reasonable, Chi Nian, it's hard to drive around the plateau without getting dirty!"

When Xi Shan said this, they passed by a row of small white poplars. It was close to 03:30, and the sun was pierced by the branches and leaves of the small white poplars, like a soft-boiled egg. In the blue sky.

This bright river leaked through the window when passing through the gap between the poplar trees and passing through the driver's seat of the off-road vehicle, dyeing Xi Shan's eyelashes golden.

Poplar trees, wheat, and the slope of the isolation zone are a false purple grassland in the sun and shade.

At four o'clock in the afternoon, they arrived in Delingha.

Since there are relatives living in the local area, Xi Shan seems to have a good relationship with that cousin, Chi Nian thought that Xi Shan would go to the other's house for a few days.But Xi Shan drove the car directly to a hotel without discussing with him, and asked Chi Nian when he planned to leave midway, and after getting the answer of "not leaving today", he asked Chi Nian to get out of the car and carry his luggage.

Checking in at the front desk, Chi Nian only had to carry his own backpack and wait for Xi Shan to go through the formalities.He was a little embarrassed when he took the ID card, but when he was picked up, he found that Xi Shan didn't even look at it, and threw it directly to the front desk.

The two waited silently. Chi Nian moved closer and saw Xi Shan's ID card on the scanner.

"What?" Xi Shan asked, noticing his gaze.

Chi Nian scratched his head: "I just... no, it turns out that 'Xi Shan' is really your real name, and I've been entangled all the way."

Xi Shan laughed so hard that even the lady who checked in at the front desk couldn't help lowering her head and pursing her lips.He patted Chi Nian on the back of the head angrily: "You still don't believe me!"

Chi Nian: "That's not because you always lie to me."

"No." Xi Shan said solemnly.

The front desk interrupted at this moment: "Do you two gentlemen want a double room or a standard room?"

Chi Nian choked on the rebuttal that was on the edge of his mouth, almost choking him to death - this question is common sense no matter how you look at it, why do you need to ask it separately!

But Xi Shan seemed to be used to it, and answered freely: "Standard room."

"Okay, Mr. Xi, the room is on the fifth floor, and the elevator is behind you."

It can be seen that the hotel is quite brand new after the decoration. Chi Nian has lived in a five-star hotel and temporarily lived in a small hotel, so he is not picky about the quality of the room.After opening the door, he saw that the room was spacious, not facing the street, and the environment was very quiet, which exceeded his expectations, so Chi Nian was very happy.

He put down his backpack and asked Xi Shan, "Where do you sleep?"

"You choose." Xi Shan took off his coat at the entrance.

Chi Nian chose the one on the outside, regardless of his dusty body, he sat at the end of the bed first, and sighed comfortably: "I'm fine - I haven't sat on a bed for a long time, so soft and refreshing!"

Xi Shan patted him, "Go take a shower first, you're so dirty."

Chi Nian was not ashamed at all, and lay down halfway, staring at the pattern of the curtains on the edge of the ceiling: "I don't want it, I can't move anymore, I want to lie down for a while."

"It's okay." Xi Shan said, opened his suitcase and kicked it, "Then I'll go first."

Chi Nian had already closed his eyes: "Wash slowly and ignore me."

"Okay—" Xi Shan went into the bathroom after finishing speaking.

The sound of closing the door was dull, and there was a slight rustling sound of clothes rubbing. After a while, the cold sound of metal touching came, followed by the sound of water, with warmth, which could wash away all fatigue and dryness.

Chi Nian was sleepy, and he lay down in a large font for a while, feeling uncomfortable and turned over.

Hypnotized by the sound of water, Chi Nian rubbed his eyes, half-opened and half-closed when he found something was wrong through the gap, he was stunned—the hotel bathroom, a large piece of frosted glass faced the guest room, and the shutters used to block the second floor did not. For some reason, he only put it in half, and when he saw the outline of Xi Shan's body, he blushed straight away.

The frosted glass was stained with hot water and steamed up, but the hazy outline was still clear, and even a little imagination was needed, and it made no difference whether it was there or not.

Chi Nian wanted to avoid his sight, but he could not do so with his arm on his pillow.

Xi Shan is tall, his forehead almost touches the shower head.His back was facing the direction of the bed, straight shoulders, narrow but strong waist and even two long legs, the lines were unobstructed.

He raised his hand and brushed back the broken hair on his forehead. The curly hair was wet and softly stuck to the back of his neck, and was rubbed into bubbles by the shampoo.When you spread your arms, the muscles in your shoulders and back move with it.The water vapor became heavier and heavier, and the outline changed from clear to blurred, but the picture imprinted in my mind did not fade so easily.

Chi Nian's mouth was a little dry, he sat up abruptly and gasped for breath, unscrewed a bottle of mineral water and drank most of it.

Cold water couldn't calm down the restlessness in his heart. Chi Nian was caught off guard by this level of shock. No matter how hard he forced himself not to think about it, those beautiful and powerful lines kept turning around...

It's over, I have seen what I should see and what I shouldn't see.

It's over, it's over, it's over...

Others regard me as a brother, but I face his...

I'm not human!

After Xi Shan took a shower, when he came out wearing a pair of shorts and topless, what he saw was the picture of Chi Nian covering his face with his hands and stuffing himself in the pillow.Feeling amused, he walked over to Chi Nian's bed and pulled the pillow away.

"What are you doing!" Xi Shan teased him, not noticing that Chi Nian's cheeks were flushed and hot, "Why did you become a little turtle?"

Chi Nian only glanced at it, and then dragged the quilt over his head: "Hurry up and put on your clothes."

Xi Shan looked down unreasonably, and pushed Chi Nian who was wrapped in an egg roll: "Ah? My figure is not bad, but do you think your eyes are too hot when you look at it?"

"No..." Chi Nian struggled, "Anyway, you put on your clothes!"

Xi Shan probably felt that he was mentally ill and was inexplicably reserved, but he continued to do so.He found the most common short-sleeved T-shirt from the suitcase and put it on, looking back at Chi Nian: "Okay, put it on, come out of the turtle shell."

"You are the tortoise." Chi Nian resented him, this time at least he caught his eye.

Pectoral muscles, abdominal muscles, broad shoulders, narrow waist, whatever you want, but Chi Nian just dare not open his eyes to look at Xi Shan.In the past, this had to be his favorite. If he met him at a bar, Chi Nian would ask for his contact information no matter where his boyfriend was.But it's different now, he is sure that Xi Shan likes girls who are straight, so no matter how good-looking she is...

Just think about it in your head.

Xi Shan stood by the balcony and wiped his hair, his long, broken hair was lifted up, revealing a colorful pattern down the back of his neck.When Chi Nian saw it, he asked curiously, "Is that a tattoo?"

"Well, I was ignorant when I was young, do you want to see it?"

Xi Shan took half a step back and stood in front of Chi Nian, and he leaned closer, smelling the fragrance of shampoo at the tip of his nose.

The tattoo is of a dragonfly, in the usual taxidermy pose, with wings and legs outstretched, in a frightened manner.After the color faded a bit, it turned into the blue-yellow color of the leaves when they were about to fall. The texture was fine, and even each wing was vividly depicted. There was a row of small English words underneath. After reading it carefully, I found that it was a poem.

That?I?exist?is?a?perpetual?surprise?which?is?life

... Tagore.

"My existence is a permanent miracle of so-called life."

Is life a miracle?

Chi Nian frowned and didn't dare to touch it, thinking for no reason: What... happened to Xi Shan before?