gentle night

layer of gray shadow.

It's time to turn on the lights and cook, which should have been the warmest moment of the day.Originally, the electric lights in the living room and kitchen should be brightly lit, and the range hood should be whining; The show is chirping, and the little stupid dog in an apron should come and go in the kitchen, and ask him for a while: "Cheng Cheng, do you want me to fry green peppers?" Already?" Such lights, such scents, such figures, and such inquiries constituted a real yesterday's dream, slowly turning into nothingness along with the bell that announced the end.now……

Cheng Xian got up from the bed indiscriminately and went to the bathroom to wash off the semen on his hands.He stood in the living room, looking at the cold dim light in the room, the empty kitchen and the empty stove, and slowly looked over one by one.Under the light leaking in from the north window, his shadow dragged long on the ground.

36,

Cheng Xian ate, slept, and lived as usual.He thought, no matter what, he had to live on, and he had to live without anyone.He has encountered much worse situations than now. At that time, he was hiding in hiding, without even a stable foothold. When he was injured, he held a white wine bottle to wash and disinfect the wound, grinning his teeth in pain, gouging out his heart and lungs.But even then, life went on.No matter where, no matter how, the shattering of a dream does not mean the death of the body, let alone the end of life.After falling suddenly from the top of the mountain to the bottom of the valley, after the initial dizziness subsided, he found that he was not dead.Since he was not dead, he had to find his way back slowly, even if he had to sit down to catch his breath every few steps, he still had to try to get back to the main road.Cheng Xian is the one who is the least afraid of living alone, the state of living alone day by day is the most natural for him.He went shopping, cooking, and washing clothes as usual, and occasionally went to the stationery store at the intersection to help buy goods, then went to the store owner to collect the money, and then went home to rest.Auntie Zhou didn't see Yue Junsheng for so many days, she kept asking questions, she almost suspected that Cheng Xian, a humanoid beast, killed Junjun, that beautiful child, her eyes already glared at Cheng Xian with a fierce look of suspicion.

But soon she heard Cheng Xian say to the shop owner: "It's the end of the year, there is something to do in my hometown, my brother is going back first, and I will go back in a few days." money, turned and walked out.The voice of Aunt Zhou chirping and gooing to the shop owner came from behind, and was blown away by the cold wind at the door.

It was only four o'clock in the afternoon, the sun was gloomy, and the night was falling gray.With the collar of his down jacket open, Cheng Xian walked slowly on a small light motorcycle.The street lamps on both sides of the street were lit one by one, and under the lights were houses and shops, and there were people coming and going in the shops on the street.Cheng Xian slowed down, looking at the winter streets with blurred eyes.

He parked the car beside a stall selling roasted yams, asked for two yams, and walked back with them in plastic bags.Now he doesn't have much interest in cooking, he often buys some staple food, and cooks a small pot of soup for himself to eat.While eating he turned on the TV and casually watched the local news.The time for the news is not too long, and when he has almost finished eating, the news program will be over.After the news came the TV series, but he didn't watch them.He turned off the TV to wash the dishes, took a shower after washing the dishes, and then lay down on the bed, his mind was empty, and the bed was empty.

It's hard to say whether Cheng Xian has gotten used to the days without Yue Junsheng, and it's also hard to say how much the things that Yue Junsheng didn't take away, such as towels and toothbrushes, fell into his eyes and touched him a lot.At this moment, he is more like a wild beast that steals flowers from a rich man's garden. He took a trace of luck in the first place, but now the delicate flowers are still lost. The kind of faint surprise and faint loss that came.That Yue Junsheng with six or seven-year-old mentality soon became a thing of the past. He knew that Yue Junsheng like that could never be seen again.

For some reason, Cheng Xian had a feeling of being tricked. Although it was not anyone's fault, it couldn't stop the suffocating evil spirit that rushed up in his heart from time to time.In the past, when he felt bored, he could go to those martial arts gyms on the street without a business license to find someone to beat him to vent his anger. Later, after becoming a bounty hunter, he could even experience the bloodthirsty hunting with real knives and guns. To the extreme pleasure.He evaded the laws of the world, he evaded the secular reason, for a while he ran all the way to the southwest where the few people lived, in the vast tracts of primeval mountain forests, like a real beast, while basking in the sun lonely, while finely Thinking about those past events...

Everything is old now.Cheng Xian got up bored, and took the mobile phone with Internet access from the cabinet.The faint light reflected his face, and he swiped his fingers, looking at the self-portraits of different shapes on the screen.

Cheng Xian is no stranger to the dating software that many homosexuals are familiar with, and he spends a lot of boring time on it, even though he never responds or participates.People of the same kind who are on the same land as him have become more and more enchanting over the years.Looking at those painted and posing portraits, he twitched the corners of his mouth, finally showing a hint of a smile on his face.Of course, some little whores are really beautiful, their glamorous aura reminds him of Yue Wenlong, while other little babes are really cute, making him think of Yue Junsheng again.In addition, there are many photos that expose the 'genital' organs, which makes him very excited. He thinks it will be good if he can touch and smell them.When he was online, people frequently sent him messages, begging to add friends, and asked very bluntly, "How is your situation?" "Is there a place?" "An appointment?"

Cheng Xian looked at the distance, these people were always not far from him.He smiled and pressed the off button with one hand.The screen fell into darkness, and his face disappeared into the shadows.The lights in the room were not turned on, only the street lights outside and the lights of the people on the opposite floor reflected in the window vaguely, vaguely outlining Cheng Xian's outline.The night air was cold, but there was no wind, and the sound of someone throwing firecrackers could be heard from far and near.

It's the end of the year again.More than a month will be the Spring Festival. People outside are busy buying tickets to return home, and local people are busy paying attention to red envelopes to treat guests.The coldest time of the year is the happiest time on this land. Even Cheng Xian, a beast who has been wandering away from the crowd all year round, can't help but be alarmed.He listened to the sound of firecrackers that sounded ahead of time, felt the commotion that had already come in the world, and felt a strange sadness in his heart.Sad because of longing, and longing is as deep as sorrow.This can be traced back to many, many years ago, back to when he was a bounty hunter, wandering all over the world alone, and it can even be traced back to his "sensible" acquiescence that he would not own what most other people of his age had. when.He took these facts as usual, or rather he tried to see them as normal.He seldom thinks about the embarrassment of being a beast in the crowd, and rarely thinks about the strange sadness in his heart.His face had the expression of a beast accustomed to fend for itself.Originally, Cheng Xian had given up all hope, but it was Yue Junsheng, that little stupid dog, and that little koala with only six or seven years of mind that rekindled his heart.

The crackling sound of firecrackers stimulated Cheng Xian's eardrums, and his eyes gradually glowed.He remembered that not long ago he and Yue Junsheng were lighting firework sticks on the balcony, and on the misty window glass, the little stupid dog drew graffiti.There is a heart inlaid in the middle of their two names, the name is written immaturely, and the heart is drawn crookedly.But it was such a childish graffiti that shone like a jewel in Cheng Xian's memory. ——An illusory promise, the love expressed to him by a six or seven-year-old mind, made him so confused and rushed towards a mirage.

Cheng Xian sat on the head of the bed, recalling the scene on the balcony with a smile on his face, the colorful names and hearts glowing in the flickering lights and shadows of the fireworks.He recalled that cute graffiti over and over again, unconsciously raising his hand to trace the two names and the love heart between the names in the dark.At this moment, those strokes were so clear in his eyes, as if he saw it with his own eyes again, he traced it over and over again in the void with his hands.Yue Junsheng's person has gone away, and the words that that little idiot said have become blurred day by day, and now only this graffiti, which shines brilliantly under the illumination of fireworks, has become the rest of those dreamy days. The only spark left.

Cheng Xian's fingers flicked in the air for a long time, and gradually his arm became sore, and his arm suddenly fell down.All the lights of the people on the opposite floor were turned off, the shadows in the room became thicker, and the colorful graffiti slowly disappeared.He sat there dumbfounded, and the darkness came over again, and he was alone again.This time, even the jewel-like graffiti was gone, and as the mist melted, it turned into water droplets and dripped down.After a while, what will he have left?

Cheng Xian's heart suddenly felt indescribably painful, he bent down slowly, his head touched the bed, and buried his face on the soft bed.

A few days later, Cheng Xian received a call from the previous courier company. The other party said that the business was busy near the end of the year, and asked him if he was free to help with a part-time job for ten days.Cheng Xian glanced at the calendar, responded to the other side's words, turned around and circled the days on the calendar card with a pen.That's when he booked the bus ticket back