this life

There will always be an end to the good days, but what should be faced in reality still needs to be faced.When does fate let go.

When I went home during the Chinese New Year, my parents said they would come to Beijing to see me when the weather warmed up.I now have a certain financial foundation, and it is easier to control my time.Naturally, I hope to show my parents around Beijing.However, there is one problem, and that is the house.I need to find a bigger house, so that I can be with my parents, and secondly, I should change to a bigger house so that I can live more comfortably with Wang Shaochong.This point was approved by Wang Shaochong's four claws.As long as you are willing to pay, the house will naturally be easy to find.Young Master Wang is in trouble, everything is settled with money, and he hasn't shopped around yet, so he decided on a two-bedroom apartment while I was at work, which is very close to where I work.I asked him why he wanted two houses, and he said it was convenient.I blocked him and asked if he was afraid that he would talk about the sofa when I was angry.He was upright and shot back: "I'll ask you to give me a child in the future, let's see if you still say that the room is wasted." "Then you have to see your strength." "Yo, you think I'm not strong enough, are you upset?" .Come on, I will tell you today what a young man is in his prime." He talked fast for a while, but he couldn't sleep all night, he really committed a crime.

The new house was almost ready, so I informed the old couple to come over at any time. I didn't tell them that I had found a new place, but told them that they would pick them up at the station.As a result, my mother was afraid of trouble, so I found the place I rented two days earlier than the date I was notified to come to Beijing, based on the impression I had made two years ago.I originally planned to move in the next day, and today I will stay with Wang Shaochong at Xiao's house for another night.Although this house is small, it is the memory of me and Wang Shaochong.I was really reluctant to move out.At night, I was lying on the bed reading a book, and Wang Shaochong was washing in the bathroom.Hearing someone knock on the door, Wang Shaochong opened the door and saw two old people standing outside the door.Seeing that it was not my son who opened the door, my parents froze and thought they had found the wrong place.Then I said, "Excuse me, does Wang Jian live here?" I heard a familiar voice calling my name.I almost jumped out of bed.Came to the door to look at parents.Parents also looked at me.Both Wang Shaochong and I were wearing only underwear, and the four of us were stunned by such a meeting.Wang Shaochong retreated into the bathroom, found a bath towel and wrapped it around.I let my parents enter the house first.Get dressed quickly.The first time Wang Shaochong met my parents was still in this way, so he was naturally nervous and a little incoherent.After saying hello, Wang Shaochong hurriedly got dressed.Parents were already tired from catching the train, and seeing such an unbearable scene naturally made their faces even uglier.The room was originally small, but now there are four people crowded in, and the room is almost suffocating. "Well, sit down, uncles and aunts, I'll go downstairs to buy something." Wang Shaochong made a gesture to me, and then went out.He knew he was there, and the four of us would just sit there until dawn, so why not give me some space with my parents.He stopped by the supermarket to buy some fruit or something.As soon as Wang Shaochong left, my mother couldn't help asking. "Son, tell mom, why do you live with a man? Is it because you don't have enough money, or is there some special reason?"

Me: "Mom, I~I~" I really couldn't say it, but what reason could I find to fool me at this time, and how did I lie to my parents.I can't bear to hurt the old couple, but the reality is that their son is gay.My dad saw that I couldn't say anything for a long time, so he asked: "Son, what is the relationship between you and that kid, I want to be honest."

Me: "I'm with him." This sentence was said so that even mosquitoes could not hear it, but it felt like my parents heard it clearly, and instantly ignited it.My mother burst into tears for a while.They have all heard about homosexuality to some extent.It's just that he didn't expect his own son to do the same.My mother cried for a long time. During this period, I didn't dare to take a breath. I just knelt in front of them and lowered my head, not daring to look at their expressions.After getting a little more stable, my mother went on to say: "Before, if you didn't look for a partner, my mother always thought that the child was still young, so don't look for it if you don't look for it. Later, when you grow up, I advise you to look for it. If you say you want to work, first Besides being stable and stable, Mom has no objection. But. But, you can’t find a man either. How can a man get married and have children. "

Me: "Mom and Dad, I'm sorry, I really can't accept women. I'm sorry."

Mom: "You didn't look for it, so why did you say you couldn't accept it! Mom went back and found some for you. You can see, maybe, there are some you can fall in love with. Son, you are obedient, you can't, you can't..."

Me: "Mom, I've looked for it, and I really can't stand it. I was born gay and I knew it when I was in middle school. But I never dared to tell you." As soon as I finished speaking, I heard a slap, and my body tilted .I was a little confused.That's right, my father who hadn't hit me for so many years gave me a slap in the face.My father trembled angrily and said: "You come home with me tomorrow, and you are not allowed to see this kid again. You are born, I will give birth to a son like you!" Seeing that I was slapped, my mother hurriedly stopped my father. , lest I be beaten a second time.I feel a little more comfortable, and being beaten can be regarded as a way of atonement.

Me: "I'm sorry, Dad, I can't go back, my work and life friends are all in Beijing, I want to stay here."

Dad: "I won't go back, I won't go back, right? That's fine. Then I'll pretend I never gave birth to a son like you. Let's go." My dad pulled my mom out.As soon as he went out, he saw Wang Shaochong came back with big and small bags of food.Seeing my father pulling my mother angrily, Wang Shaochong stepped forward and said, "Uncle and aunt, where are you going so late?" My father snorted, gave Wang Shaochong a look and continued to pull my mother away.I reacted and went out to chase, Wang Shaochong followed me downstairs.I stopped my parents from letting them leave. My dad pushed me away and took a taxi with my mom.I kept watching the car go away and disappear, Wang Shaochong took me back to the house, comforted me and said: "It's okay, my parents are just angry for a while, let them calm down for a while before going to see them. It will be fine." I The moment I leaned on Wang Shaochong's shoulder, all my guard was put down, and I couldn't hold it anymore.I started to cry softly, the parents I love the most in my life may never see me again, maybe they don’t love me anymore, they don’t want me anymore.Why do I like men, why!It's all my fault.I'm sorry for my parents.But, I can't let go of Wang Shaochong, can I live without him?

I couldn't fall asleep because of my so many thoughts.In the middle of the night, Wang Shaochong was fast asleep.I put on my coat and came to the corridor, calling my parents over and over again, but the phone kept turning off.A pack of cigarettes will soon be the last one left.Back in the house, looking at the sleeping Wang Shaochong, thinking about what should I do?

In this way, I sat on the bed until dawn.Wang Shaochong woke up at 05:30, and he saw me sitting there blankly.He rubbed his eyes and asked me in a hoarse voice, "Have you been sitting all night?"

Me: "Oh, you're awake." I didn't answer his question because my mind couldn't seem to parse it.

Wang: "Go to sleep, I'll cook, and I'll take you to work later." My brain still couldn't translate what he said, but I just let him tuck me into the quilt, and then watched him get up and go to the kitchen .Maybe it was too tired all night, so I closed my eyes and rested.After an unknown amount of time, Wang Shaochong pushed me and whispered in my ear, "Bao'er, wake up, it's time to eat."

I smoked too many cigarettes all at once, and didn't sleep all night. At this time, I was really uncomfortable and had no appetite at all.I sat down tiredly, looking at the porridge in the bowl and didn't want to hold the chopsticks.Seeing me like this, Wang Shaochong put down his chopsticks and said to me: "Bao'er, I can understand how you feel now. When I came out to my family, my dad almost broke my leg, but now don't let me go home and give it to me." Do I have food? So, don't be too pessimistic, my parents know that we have a good life together, and they will accept it in the end." I listened to Wang Shaochong's words and nodded.He glanced at the time, got up and changed his clothes, and got ready to go to work.Wang Shaochong wanted to see me off, but I refused, and I took the bus instead of driving.

Call my parents as soon as I have time at work.Near noon, my mother finally called me back.I picked it up excitedly.I heard my mother say to me in a low voice: "Son, your father is not here now, so mother will just say a few words to you. Your father and I will go back today. You don't need to come here. Your father is angry and listens to everything you say." Don't go in. When your father calms down, you come back sometime and confess your mistake to your father face to face. "

Me: "Mom, I'm sorry. I know I'm sorry for you." I heard my mother sigh over there.After a few seconds, he said to me: "Son, tell mom the truth, why, why do you like a man?"

Me: "Mom, me. I don't know either."

Mom: "Hey, forget it, forget it. Don't talk about it. You take care of yourself, and I will persuade him from your dad's side. Okay, you can go."

Putting down the phone, I raised my head to prevent tears from falling.The guilt in his heart tormented himself.What can I do to please everyone?Am I really going to find a woman to marry and have children with?What about Wang Shaochong, and what about myself?

I don't know what to order for lunch, anyway, I went back to the office without eating two bites.Maybe it was because I heard my mother's voice, I felt a little relieved, and took a nap during my lunch break.In the afternoon, the leaders of the head office will come to the branch for inspection.Since the international business has developed by leaps and bounds this year, the leader said that he might visit. In the morning meeting, the department manager specially asked everyone to cheer up.At three o'clock in the afternoon, I was still reviewing the materials. When I heard that Sister Qin came to report the news, the head office leader will be here soon, and everyone should get ready.But in fact, the leader did not come after waiting for an hour, and the work still had to be carried out.I took the materials submitted by the client and planned to go upstairs to the policy department to find professionals to check.When I went out, I saw a group of eloquent people coming out of the reception room.Seeing the heads of the branch's international department all nodding and bowing to accompany them, this posture should be the leader of the head office.I hid in a corner and waited for them to walk by.While watching them pass by, I found a figure that I seemed to have seen before.It's Wang Shaochong's father, Wang Zhentian!Dad Wang didn't seem to notice me, but kept walking.My thoughts were a little messy, and I stood where I was, thinking about what happened.It turned out that Wang Zhentian's family had something related to X-line not because Wang Shaochong took it back, but Wang Zhentian's.No wonder there are so many periodicals and magazines that seem to be old.Also, my job!Could it be that I was transferred to the branch because Wang Shaochong asked his father to solve it.No wonder, I, a guy with no rights, no money and no contacts, can reach the sky in one step.Hmph~ It turned out that Wang Shaochong did it all.I said why it was no surprise to hear my promotion, because it was arranged by this guy.Why did he do this?Why did you call me here?Because you don't want me to see Fu Xiao?This reason is a bit naive.Wang Shaochong, is that why you don't trust me?How can you do these things behind my back again, like looking for a house, changing jobs, and your ex, what do you think of me?If you like it, just say it, and if you don't like it, you don't even bother to say a notification.Hehe, what am I, an accessory by your side, or a toy you like, you can play with it however you want.My mind was in a mess, the things about my parents and Wang Shaochong's concealment made me a little out of breath.I did not send any information.I will leave after work.Before we got to the station, Wang Shaochong called me and asked when I would be home.All the things in the family have been moved to the new home, and they said they would pick me up and go directly to the new home.I excused myself to work overtime today and go back later by myself so that he wouldn't have to worry about it.Hearing his disappointed voice, I couldn't bear it, but I need to find a place to calm down, a place without Wang Shaochong.

I came to a restaurant near my unit.Drinking alone.Just after drinking a bottle of beer, Wang Shaochong started calling me, but I didn't answer.He hit me again and ignored him.When I was a little drunk, the phone rang again, but I still didn't answer it.This time the information came.When I saw it was Fu Xiao, it turned out that he was the one who hit him just now.He said he had business to call me, please let me pick it up, seeing that it was him, I was not so conflicted, and when he called again, I listened.He said that there was a payment in the past few days, and the overseas claimed that the payment had not been received.The accountant of Fu Xiao's company called Jiang Ling to ask, but Jiang Ling couldn't tell why.Fu Xiao was in a hurry, because the other party couldn't receive the money, and the project couldn't be carried out as scheduled. If it was delayed for a long time, it would cause great losses to the company.This kind of thing never happened when I was here before. Fu Xiao saw that Jiang Ling was half-baked and didn't understand anything, so she called to ask for my opinion.When I heard this, I wanted to quickly put down the phone and continue drinking, but I just said a few perfunctory words.But I forgot that Fu Xiao was a serious person when he was in school, and he must have inherited the habit of that time when he was working.Fu Xiao was obviously not very satisfied with my irresponsible attitude.But he tried to be polite and wanted to continue discussing the issue with me.I've been bothered by so many things lately, and now I'm really not in the mood to think about business, and after drinking a little wine, my tone and attitude are not good at first.Seeing me like this, Fu Xiao's attitude became bad.

Fu: "I said Wang Jian, although you don't like me anymore, but how can we still be friends, I have something to ask you now, is this your attitude?"

Me: "Fu Xiao, I'll call you back tomorrow to help you solve the problem. I'm really not in the mood today."

Fu: "Wang Jian, what happened to you?" It seems that Fu Xiao also understands me. I usually don't lose my temper, unless I really bear something in my heart and I really can't bear it.The last time I lost my temper with him was when he told me he was leaving me the day before going abroad.In fact, at that time, I endured it silently. It was not until later that he called me from abroad and said that he missed me, that I broke out.On the phone, I had a big fight with him, and then dropped the phone.Hearing Fu Xiao's soothing tone, I also calmed down.Me: "It's nothing, your question, I'll ask the colleague in charge of liquidation at the branch tomorrow. If there is nothing else, I'll hang up first." Before Fu Xiao could speak, I hung up the phone and continued drinking.After that, I don't remember much.I just feel like someone is helping me out.I got in the car and felt the car stop and go, with waves of nausea rising and falling with the speed of the car.