most young and lonely

Although there was always that conjecture in his heart that made him tremble with fear, Yi Can was not sure.She still went to Ruoqing's dormitory whenever she was free, pestering her to chat and joke.

The feeling in my heart is just like this, floating, ups and downs, always unclear, but never leaving.If Yi Can was a boy, seeing Ruoqing during the military training and feeling that way, Yi Can must have known that he had already fallen in love with her at first sight.

Yi Can thought countless times: I am a girl, and I fell in love with Ah Bing so passionately in high school, how could I be gay?How could you like Ruoqing?There must be something wrong!

During the summer vacation after her sophomore year, Yi Chan met her old friend A Qian.The schools they were admitted to were too far apart, and they only had the opportunity to meet during the holidays.So, we made an appointment to take a walk and chat in the big yard.

Although I haven't seen her for several years, Axi hasn't changed much since she was in junior high school. She still has short hair and is tall and thin, but her face looks a little haggard.

Aqian still greeted her heartily: "Hi, Yi Can, you have long hair fluttering and you've become a beauty!"

Yi Can smiled a little embarrassedly, and asked familiarly like in junior high school: "Why do you look so bad? Have you been sick recently?"

Axi didn't answer directly, her expression was gloomy.

Yi Chan didn't ask any more questions.Later, the two chatted about college life, majors, etc., but Yi Can always felt that there was a deep sadness in A Qian's eyes, and the chat was a little absent-minded.

After a while, Ah Qian suddenly asked Yi Can seriously: "What do you think of homosexuality?"

Surprised, Yi Can pretended not to care and replied: "It's okay, I don't discriminate, I don't object."

Aqian stopped in her tracks, stared closely at Yi Can's research, and asked, "Will you mind if I say, I am?"

"No! I asked a few teachers and friends in Canada, and they said that many of their friends are gay, but they are nice people, and they don't mind at all." Yi Can had that question in her heart, so she talked with her When a few foreign friends were chatting, I asked by the way, and the answer surprised her.

After hearing this, Ah Qian breathed a sigh of relief, and let the pain in her eyes leak out, which made Yi Chan feel very distressed at that moment.In a city full of people coming and going, Ah Qian can finally open her heart to a close friend. She and Yi Can tell their desolate love story.

She knew she was gay and felt it when she was a little older.But in such a traditional environment like China, who would understand her?She never talked to anyone from the beginning to the end, and could only suppress her emotions and study alone.

I finally got admitted to university. In a relatively developed city, the students around me are also considered enlightened.Gradually, Ah Qian ceased to be obsessed with her own differences, and became her cheerful and happy self again.

In her sophomore year, she finally started a beautiful relationship with her good friend, Ah Xin.

Ah Xin is a delicate and gentle little girl. She was attracted by Ah Qian's handsome appearance from the very beginning. It is agreed to talk about a love that is desperate and life-threatening.

They are no different from any other couples. They go to and from class together, study and play together, and when they are unhappy, they chat and solve each other's worries; sometimes when Ah Qian gets closer to other girls, Ah Xin will become jealous, just like a The little tigress disturbed her, and then the two reconciled in the fight.Ah Xin also knitted a scarf for Ah Qian, symbolizing the warmth she gave her...

However, the good times didn't last long, when Ah Xin's parents heard the news, they went directly to the school and forbade any contact between Ah Xin and her.Ah Xin had no choice but to contact Ah Qian secretly.Even so, in the end Ah Xin's parents let her transfer to another school.After that, it was as if the world had evaporated, and Ah Qian never got any news about Ah Xin.

Sigh, I don't know where Ah Xin is now?how is she doing

When Ah Xin's parents vowed to be responsible for their child's life, did they ever consider Ah Xin's own choice?If not, why would you "kidnap" Ah Xin under the banner of "I love you so much"?

Therefore, when some people's authority and their so-called "orthodoxy" are challenged, they are very afraid that the stability in their hearts will be destroyed, and they are afraid of other people's comments and strange eyes.This strong sense of lack of self-confidence and insecurity will force them to take coercive measures eagerly, before they care about whether the measures are reasonable, and they will not allow anyone to ask and refute; otherwise, they will feel as if they have been greatly insulted.In this case, there is no reason at all. As the weak side, we can only accept the reality.

Just like Ah Xin, she didn't want to take the risk of breaking up with her parents and continue to indulge in love, so she had no choice but to leave Ah Xin.

What saddens Ah Qian the most is not only the tragedy of falling in love but not being able to be together, but also the insulting words of Ah Xin's parents: "Look at you, male or female, what do you look like!" It was you who brought down our family Xinxin, our family Xinxin has been obedient since she was a child! How could she do such a thing? How will she meet people in the future?"...

These words made Yi Can's heart ache, and he couldn't help cursing with righteous indignation: "What kind of thing? Why can't you see people when you are in love with each other? Could it be that the only way is to tie two men and women who don't love each other together?" Is it the most glorious thing? Why are Ah Xin's parents so selfish? Are they really going to trade their daughter's happiness for their own face?"

Poor dear Axi, one can imagine how she survived the days after that.Yi Can couldn't help but gently hugged A Qian. She was a cheerful and enthusiastic girl at the beginning, but now she became so thin and haggard, which made Yi Can feel extremely distressed.

"Ah Qian, don't keep depressed because of this, don't get stuck in this dead end. The thinking of our generation should be much more enlightened, and there is not much prejudice against homosexuality."

"But what about my parents? They absolutely can't accept it." Axi said distressedly.

Yi Chan thought for a while, but there was no way. After all, the previous generation was so conservative in thinking, even for the sake of "there are three ways to be unfilial, and having no descendants is the greatest", she would sacrifice her pursuit, make compromises, get married and have children, and live the "happiness" in the eyes of others. life".

"Ah——" Yi Can sighed helplessly, and then remembered her own affairs, and told Aqian the doubts in her heart in embarrassment.

Ah Qian was a little surprised when she heard the story of Yi Can, Ah Bing and Ruoqing, but she was in the middle of it after all and understood Yi Can's mood very well.

"I don't think I really like Ruoqing, do I?" Yi Can asked Ah Qian.

"Maybe."

"But don't I like boys?"

A Qian said lightly: "You can't ask me about feelings, you have to ask your own heart. I think you don't like boys, but A Bing; you don't like girls, but Ruoqing. The so-called Homosexuality, it’s just that you fell in love with someone, but that person happens to be a girl too.”

Yi Can has never thought about it this way, and this kind of insight has made Yi Can a lot clearer.

They talked a lot that night.As for the future, no one has a definite answer.

Luckily on campus, they have a protective layer called youth, and they can temporarily pursue their love regardless of the consequences.