one acre flower field

The old cat disappeared on the day of the first snowfall in December, just three days after Yuan Jin left home and entered the treatment home.

It's also strange, the doors and windows are closed very well, I remembered to pour a bag of cat food for it when I left, the bowl was still full when I came back the next day, and the cat was gone, Yuan Jin guessed that I didn't care when I went out, the cat never Slipped out through the crack of the door.

Except for the few days when the old cat first came to my house, I was indifferent to it afterwards.I always remember what my mother said, a cat is an animal that can’t be kept at home, maybe it’s really an ordinary runaway from home, everything has a soul, it has a premonition that we don’t have time to take care of it.

However, driven by some intuition, I am afraid of its disappearance.I searched back and forth in every wasteland and every park in the western suburbs for several days, and then went to see Yuanjin at night as if nothing happened.

I stood by the bed and poured water. Winter came, and my lips began to dry out to the point of peeling. When kissing, I could only try to avoid touching the softest part of Yuan Jin.

I took a big gulp of water.

Yuan Jin was originally reading with his head down, but he didn't look up at this time. He asked, "Did something happen at home? You've lost your mind recently. Did you lose your cat?"

I was taken aback, put down the water glass, pretended to be calm, walked to the edge of the bed and sat down, barely smiling in surprise: "What are you thinking about? How can you tell that I'm out of my mind."

The corners of his lips were curled up, and his eyes signaled me to look at his hands. When I spoke, my hands were twitched together awkwardly. He said, "Little bird of prey, we have known each other for almost 25 years."

25 Ah.

How long is 25 years?In the past two centuries, the average life expectancy of human beings could not pass the second 25 years.It's me who can guess what bad things I'm going to do again with a blink of an eye.

I simply lay down beside his bed and asked him in a whisper: "Have you ever thought that you don't like me anymore?"

Yuan Jin pondered for a while, then nodded helplessly, then he smiled softly, and said: "Yes, in those years I thought every day, today must be the last time I like you, and then woke up the next day, I still like it. I thought, forget it, let’s not like it tomorrow. After a long time, I got used to it, and I really can’t change it. never mind."

When he said it, he made a disgusted look and made me happy, so I giggled twice in cooperation.

Yuan Jin said: "It's snowing very well today, go and open the curtains."

There was a crisp sound the moment the ball slid, and the world outside the window suddenly appeared in the eyes.

The treatment home has a dusty outer wall, with an eave protruding from the window, and a picture of outing in spring is printed on the outer wall. The sparrow landed on the window sill, was a little startled, and then fluttered a few times, flying to the branch, from the outer wall. A few bare branches protruding from one corner became their hometown.

The wind wandered through every gap, sneaked in sneakily, lingered and melancholy between us, because the door was not closed, when the wind came in, it was accompanied by a loud noise like howling, drowning our already thin conversation, so We quietly listened to the wind during the day.

Yuan Jin didn't hug me as usual before falling asleep, so I twisted the quilt tightly to hug him, he coughed, and blew in my ear, the hot air disturbed the fluff on my ear, it was itchy, he sighed He said: "I can't control what you want to do in the future, but when I come back, I want you to still be here."

There are always a few moments when people regret their ordinaryness.So I laughed, tears came out of my smile, I sniffed my nose and rubbed my tears on Yuan Jin's arm, he raised his hand to touch my hair, we didn't talk anymore.

My mother often said that she is the person who understands me best, no, Yuan Jin is.

After the notification of Yuan Jin’s critical illness came, I didn’t have any big emotions. My mother thought I was upset, and gave me several psychological counseling sessions. It was nothing more than the fact that people are inherently mortal. Yuan Jin is incomplete, and accidents are normal. Yes, cry if you want to cry or something like that.

She doesn't know, I'm really not that sad, I have made all the plans for her about the rest of my life, other than that, I have nothing to worry about.

They said back then that no one would fall in love with their robot, and I believed it.

It turns out I'm really not human.

I'm definitely not a god either.

During the bottleneck period of bionics research, the new generation of scientific research institutes came to me, hoping that I could donate Yuan Jin’s chips. This is a problem about "tram cars", and they persuaded me for several years on the grounds of righteousness.I can't be willing to hand over Yuan Jin, because it will not benefit the great cause of national science, so it is called disloyalty.

My mother submitted a petition to the court because of me, accusing Yuan Jin of disturbing the normal order of social relations, intervening in family ethics, and disobeying Delun.

I can't be a god.

I am a wandering ghost.

We are fit to fall in love together.

The twins who have been raised for 25 years are called martyrdom.

When things came to an end, because of his words, I didn't dare anymore.

Love has nothing to do with the heart, it has nothing to do with any organ, this is what Yuan Jin told me, when he left, his internal organs were exhausted, he couldn't speak, his eyes opened very hard, but he kept looking at me .I don't know what other people look like when they die, but Yuan Jin's eyes are always gentle, and his eyes tell me that he loves me.I could tell he wanted to laugh but couldn't, and I felt like crying and I couldn't.

I couldn't walk, I couldn't stand up, my fingers hurt even if I moved, breathing became a very laborious thing, I really didn't have the strength to cry.

From then on, I no longer fear death, but I am extremely afraid of death.

There was no auspiciousness when he came, and there was no purple air when he left. Later, those people will study Yuanjin, they will study the silicon-aluminum integrated circuit in that chip, but they will not know that this chip once lived in A living soul, he is my only love.

No one knows that there will be thirteen months after December, and I am the only proof that he has lived.

Ordinary lovers may ask for reincarnation before they die, so-called modest expectations.But Yuan Jin and I can’t do it. If Yuan Jin is gone, he will really be gone. I think there is no place to reincarnate after death.

Living in the secular world does not allow us to be lovers, and dying in impermanence does not allow us to enter reincarnation.

I am afraid that there is really an endless hell, there is really a bowl of Mengpo soup.

I forget in fear.

When my mother came in, the doors and windows were closed again.

The wind and Xiaoxiao returned to tranquility in an instant.

Aug 12, 31:24.

I heard my own voice, floating out of nowhere, full of holes.

"Yuan Jin."

When the wind falls, there will be no lovesickness in this world.