pretend

Yan Liang's words were light and light, but Yan Mo was covered in cold sweat, and subconsciously wanted to reach out to touch his brother's forehead, but as if remembering something, he hung down timidly.

In fact, as the only relative of the other party, Yan Mo is sometimes afraid of her brother - not the kind of sincere fear, but recalling something at certain points, causing a momentary trembling... Yan Liang is not normal , even though he has already disguised himself as a normal person by relying on his superb acting skills and EQ, Yan Mo knows better than anyone else that he is a lunatic.

And this lunatic is her only relative, who she has depended on since she was a child, so she feels sorry for him, and once used hints to remind him that he should see a psychiatrist, but Yan Liang always brought him over with other topics up.

Ning Xi's departure, he was the one who suffered the most. Yan Mo had never seen his brother shed tears since he was a child. Only that time, after the funeral, the mourners left one after another, and only his brother remained in the mourning hall.Yan Mo stayed with him for a few hours at first, and then wanted to bring him something to eat, and when he turned and left and came back, he saw Yan Liang standing in front of the urn from a distance.

The plain white wreath surrounds Ning Xi's gray and white photo, which makes the boy's sunshine smile a bit eerie. Under the shining white fluorescent lamp, Yan Liang's black back looks extremely lonely.The elongated figure of his youth was wrapped in an ill-fitting suit. From a distance, he looked like a ray of ghosts that could not belong, wandering in this pale world.

Little Yan Mo grasped the black skirt tightly. She stared wide-eyed, watching her brother slowly stepping forward, passing the altar surrounded by flowers. dust.

Ning Xi died in a car accident. The heavy tires crushed his head, and the burst brains were sprinkled on the hot asphalt road in midsummer, boiled by the scorching sun.

His death was so unrecognizable that they couldn't even see the body, it just turned into a handful of ashes—and Yan Liang, he twirled a few wisps of dust between his fingers, and slowly, slowly... into the mouth.

For a moment, Yan Mo even thought that what she saw was not her gentle and amiable brother, but a demon possessed from hell.

She was shaking with fright, and even screaming was stuck in her throat, only her heart was beating violently, as if it was about to shatter her ribs.

Yan Mo wanted to call her elder brother by his name, but was afraid that when he turned around, he would see a ferocious grimace, so the little girl ran away almost without looking back, and stumbled all the way back to the room, covering her with the quilt. Hold your head, just passed the night like this.

Later she heard from others that Yan Liang stayed in the mourning hall all night.

For a long time since then, when Yan Mo saw her brother, she couldn't help but think of the terrible scene that night... Although the other party took several days off because of illness, the doctor said that he had eaten too much abdomen.

Those who can eat bad stomachs are mostly human beings, but there is a high probability that they have some mental problems, just like her mother.

My mother was also neurotic, holding them for a while and crying and saying sorry, and then acting as an accomplice to her father... But Yan Mo was still too young at that time, and most of her memories were kept in front of her, brother The narrow back, including the last, withered and thin arm when pulling her out of the flames.

Talking about the fire was also the same, the more he thought about it, the more strange it became, Yan Mo clearly remembered that the last person to enter the kitchen was not his drunken father, but his elder brother who was commanded by his father.

However, in the police statement later, Yan Liang said that his father thought he was not good at work, so he drove him away. Because of this, the two escaped...

"What do you think?"

A familiar voice suddenly rang in his ears, Yan Mo shivered, and suddenly raised his head, "I..."

Yan Liang had already cleaned up the messy table, and now she was holding a rag, and said helplessly, "You are standing here, how can I wipe the table?"

"Oh, oh..." Yan Mo rubbed her eyes, trying to free herself from the memories of the past, "Then what, bro, let me wipe it, you go and rest."

She was really aggressive in robbing, Yan Liang was afraid that the dirty water would spill over the ground, so she had to sigh and give way.

After eating, while the opposite business district was still closed, the two wore masks and sunglasses and went to a nearby supermarket to buy some daily necessities and a change of clothes.Yan Liang plans to start tomorrow and find a new place nearby. After all, Yan Mo is a girl's house, and it's not good to live together for a long time.

What's more, although he has disappeared for several months, he is still a public figure, and he still intends to continue to eat as an actor. Living alone is a perfect situation, and it can also separate troubles from his family.

Yan Liang is taking care of his new life here as if nothing had happened. Qin Yuan is also slowly waking up after the operation. The strong old smell almost clogged his nostrils, so he had to take a light breath.

Like a computer that was unplugged and restarted after a crash, Qin Yuan suddenly became very sober. He thought about the current situation very calmly, and finally came to the conclusion that he wanted too much.

If he wanted to be cool, he would have to renege on his marriage contract with Xie's family. If he was stabbed out by someone with a heart, the city would be full of trouble, and it would also affect their cooperative relationship. This meant that his years of business management would be ruined... Qin Yuan was not reconciled.

If you give up on Yan Liang, maintain the relationship, and secretly centralize power to fight with Qin Yun Wang, he will be the rightful patriarch if you win, and if you lose, you can escape and go abroad, with almost no loss except for one less person around you.

But... really not?

Under the quilt, the fingers that had regained some strength trembled and slowly clenched into fists.

Qin Yuan thought: How much do I like him?

Get rid of the mole of tears that made his heart palpitate, get rid of those unpleasant memories... Yan Liang is undoubtedly a very good lover, he is well-behaved, considerate, sensible, hard-working, never makes trouble or jealous, and is proficient in all kinds of housework and cooking.In the past three years, he has served himself very well, but it seems... It seems that's all.

Their relationship is too strong and too fragile. The reason why money can build relationships is because of people's desires and needs. What if a person has no desires and no longer needs?

Of course, the Eldest Young Master has a hundred ways to force that person into a corner, forcing him to come back to find him, but that will undoubtedly use some radical means... At the beginning, Qin Yuan used it, but now he doesn't want to up.

He recalled the time when Yan Liang asked him with a smile if he wanted him or Canary. At that time, he didn't answer, but in the end he chose the former with his actions.

But it turns out that this does not make him happy, but more anxious.

Because he knew that Yan Liang would not give in, because he knew that there was nothing he could do, he couldn't knock on the door of his heart, he...

I don't know how to love someone at all.

Thinking about it, Qin Yuan couldn't help feeling desperate, he didn't even know why he liked Yan Liang so much, why he was so...he had to be.

Just like what is said in the TV series "Three Vulgarities", some people are born with bad karma, and it's better to let it go early than to quarrel to the end.

After all, the person Yan Liang likes is not him.

Thinking of this, the young master only felt a sore nose, and the sadness was stagnant in his chest, which made him dizzy and even had hallucinations.

In the hallucination, Yan Liang was younger, still the same as he had seen in the photos, thin and thin, but he smiled softly, when staring at him with pure black pupils, it seemed as if he was about to drown him in it.

Qin Yuan saw the other party's lips moving slightly, but there was no sound, but the shape of his mouth was calling "Ning Xi".

But I'm not Ning Xi—I'm not your white moonlight with no place to die, I'm—

I……

Am I really not Ning Xi?

... I'm Ning Xi, it's fine.

Then I will have every possible reason and choose him desperately, because he loves me.

But he doesn't love me, so why should I give up for him?Sacrifice for him?

...Yes, why.

Thinking selfishly, Qin Yuan bit his lower lip fiercely with his teeth, and blood poured into his throat, somewhat moisturizing the dry mucous membrane.

The pain spread little by little, but he found a kind of masochistic pleasure from it, as if only in this way, he could divert the empty heartache in his chest.

I don't need to waste my energy on someone who doesn't love me.

I didn't... I didn't dare to bet.

I just……

With the loosening of his clenched fists little by little, Qin Yuan lay exhausted on the bed, sweating unconsciously.

He carefully hid the remaining bit of self-esteem, and said to himself in a self-deception: This is called timely stop loss.

Rather than... can't afford to lose.

The author says:

Before chapter 80 [x] of the crematorium, it should be written in 75! !