I'm not

The man is singing a song with his guitar in his arms. I can’t hear what it is, and I don’t want to hear it clearly—his voice is full of affection, and his eyes are focused and gentle. If I say that this scene is not romantic or heartwarming , I must be lying.

Unexpectedly, Dong Shao took off his usual serious face in the company and put on an approachable smile. He is such a handsome young man.

Cheng Xingjian noticed my abnormality. He stood beside me and followed my gaze. He also saw Wan Shu in the crowd.

"You..." Cheng Xingjian touched me with his hand, wanting to say something, but he didn't say it in the end.

See, he knows it's all the same, because we all know that comfort is not a potion for wounds, but a catalytic poison.

After singing, Dong Shao stood up, with a smile in the corner of his eyes, and walked towards Wanshu expectantly.

Because I couldn't see Wanshu's expression, this kind of sad imagination became my last straw, or maybe it was the last straw that crushed me.what is it?Wan Shu smiled shyly, looked coldly at the man walking towards her, or frowned, showing that kind of resistance and indifference.

I couldn't see anything, Dong Shao walked up to Wanshu, they said a few words, from Dong Shao's expression, I couldn't read whether it was happy or sad, I only saw that they gave each other a simple hug at the end, Then Dong Shao and Wan Shu gradually disappeared in the crowd, one in front of the other.

"Now you see," my eyes unfocused, just looking in the direction they left, "this is vulgar."

Cheng Xingjian didn't speak, for a long time, he asked, "Want to go for a drink?"

When we returned to that bar, the number of people did not decrease, but increased. Sure enough, the deeper the night, the more people wanted to get drunk, but I never thought that one day I would be one of them.

Dull pain, I think, this kind of pain is no longer sharp, and the wound is not very deep, but its healing speed has become extremely slow. After I got used to it, the weak pain was ignored by me.

I have imagined many scenes of Wan Shu and Dong Shao being together, but there is still a little difference between imagining and seeing with my own eyes-at least I can't see so many details.

I ordered a glass of absinthe, and saw the milky white smoke rising and falling slowly in the dark green, like a dream... Wanshu is also a dream, for me, a burning dream.

"You're right," I swallowed a big gulp of the wine, choking until my tears flowed, "it's hard to drink."

Cheng Xingjian drank with me, I didn't expect him to drink so well, or rather, I wanted to get drunk so much, so I got drunk very quickly.

I said a lot to Cheng Xingjian, "Do you think they are a good match? In fact, I think they are a good match, because Dong Shao is very good, and of course she has a good vision." "Why didn't Wanshu tell me? She still wants to say She's working overtime...and I won't stop it." In the end, I didn't know what to say, and I started to tell Cheng Xingjian about our high school, and when I was talking, I felt wet on my chin, as if it was mine. tears.

"Do you regret it?" Cheng Xingjian kept silent, but he suddenly spoke, which startled me.

"Regret what?"

"Come to Beicheng."

I shook my head. To be honest, I don't regret it, because it is a kind of happiness to see her in Beicheng.It's just that people are always greedy animals. I am also a human being, and I am very greedy.

"You are so sad, why..." He blurred the words behind, and I understood that he wanted to ask me why I didn't give up.

It's hard to let go of liking someone.

"I'm sad," I said, "but my happiness and my sadness are incompatible."

"I will be happy because of her. This is my own happiness, which has nothing to do with her. I suffer because of her, and it has nothing to do with her. If I don't love her, I won't suffer, so everything is caused by me. "I spoke slowly, because my mind was not so clear at this time, "How can I blame the person who gave me happiness for the pain I caused myself?"

"It seems that you are still sober," Cheng Xingjian said, pushing the wine glass at his side to me. "Let's drink some more, until you can't say so much."

I'm drinking a glass of sunset.

Wanshu seems to be sitting next to me, there is a little sparkle on her ear, is it the pair of jasmine earrings?She sat quietly, staring at me with deep black eyes, and I looked at her, and suddenly she changed into a school uniform again, with a ponytail and a red leaf plum petal in her hair.

"I accept vulgarity," I heard myself say, "and we can be together forever, as friends."

Wanshu tilted her head, as if she didn't understand what I was saying.

I laughed and explained it to her: "I mean, I mean—"

"I do not love you."

Cheng Xingjian dragged Yu Suban out of the bar. Before leaving, Cheng Xingjian bought the panda-shaped cup from the boss.

"Why did you buy this?" The boss was curious.

"Remembrance." Cheng Xingjian simply wiped it and put it in the backpack. "We have a lot of memories, but she doesn't care about it, so I have to do it."

"Tired?" the boss asked.

"This is my vulgarity."

Cheng Xingjian took Yu Su to blow the wind on the side of the street for a while, and the alcohol smell on their bodies dissipated a little. Yu Su was not fully awake yet, and even tended to become more and more sleepy.

Cheng Xingjian hesitated for a while, and finally took out his mobile phone to call Bai Wanshu——

"Where are you?" Cheng Xingjian frowned when he heard that the environment opposite was not noisy.

"At home," Bai Wanshu's voice was cold, "Why hasn't Susu come back yet? Where are you?"

"She's drunk, I'll send her back now, you don't have to come." Cheng Xingjian hung up the phone after finishing speaking.

Before Yu Suyou told Cheng Xingjian's home address, he stopped a taxi to take Yu Su back.

Yu Su's courage is really great, she dared to drink until she was completely unconscious, but does this also mean that Yu Su trusted him wholeheartedly?

Thinking of what Yu Su said when he was drunk, Cheng Xingjian couldn't help but smile bitterly—Yu Su was so stubborn that she didn't even want to admit that her pain was because of Bai Wanshu.

To be loved by such an emotionally stubborn and cowardly person, or to put it another way, to be secretly in love, I don't know whether Bai Wanshu is lucky or unlucky.

Yu Su is always unwilling to admit her love, even though her love is so obvious that everyone knows it.

A Yu originally asked him if Yu Su had someone he liked, and A Yu even guessed that the person Yu Su liked was a girl. Broken, I really don't understand her, how can I smile and say I'm fine, it's all written in her eyes."

Cheng Xingjian sometimes doesn't understand her, even when she was young, Yu Su is a very contradictory girl, she is quiet, but like a quietly burning flame.

Later, when she grew up, her feelings were about to burn herself to ashes.

Yu Su's head leaned softly against the back of the chair, the light and shadow from the car window cast on her sleeping face, Cheng Xingjian touched Yu Su's face, it was very hot, but her hands were cold.Cheng Xingjian put on a coat for Yu Su - the air conditioner in the car was a little low.

Alas, Cheng Xingjian sighed in his heart, he only wanted her to be happy.

The taxi parked steadily on the side of the road, Cheng Xingjian helped Yu Su out, Yu Su said "I'm not drunk", but the soles of her feet had already started to knot, and she couldn't even walk steadily.

There is one thing to say, Yu Su is actually not noisy at all when she is drunk, she falls asleep peacefully, and only talks a few words when she wakes up, if you don't smell the alcohol on her body carefully, you can't find out that this person is drunk.

Bai Wanshu was waiting downstairs. She was still wearing pajamas and a thin coat over her. She saw Cheng Xingjian supporting Yu Su back from a distance, and trotted forward, trying to take Yu Su from Cheng Xingjian's hand.

"Why did you go drinking?" Bai Wanshu frowned, disapproving, "I've never seen her so drunk before."

"She's not happy today."

Bai Wanshu hated Cheng Xingjian's firm and steady tone, as if he and Yu Su had some tacit secret, which separated them like a barrier.

In fact, she didn't have much impression of Cheng Xingjian as a neighbor. Their communication was limited to knowing their names and saying hello when they met. They had each other's WeChat because they joined the community group.Until one day Cheng Xingjian took the initiative to come to her and asked her if she knew Yu Su.

Since then, Cheng Xingjian has been on the list of people she hates in Bai Wanshu's heart. She doesn't like Cheng Xingjian's familiar tone when talking about Yu Su, nor does he like his behavior, and even has some opinions on his appearance—in short, this person Just not fun.

What Bai Wanshu hated the most was the identities of Cheng Xingjian and Yu Su's childhood sweethearts.

It is very orthodox, childhood sweetheart, fate from childhood to adulthood, and even went to the same university by chance.

What Yu Su didn't know was.Like her, Bai Wanshu also doesn't like the word chance and coincidence.

Now Cheng Xingjian said that Yu Su was unhappy today, why?It's because of something that made Yu Su so unhappy that she got drunk, and why Yu Su went out to drink with Cheng Xingjian as soon as Cheng Xingjian came...

"I see," Bai Wanshu took Yu Su and smelled the smell of alcohol coming towards her. Yu Su leaned softly on her body with her head tilted, while Bai Wanshu held Yu Su's shoulder with one hand and supported Yu Su with the other. Plain waist.

Cheng Xingjian's hand was empty, as if he had a piece of heart empty, but he handed Yu Su over to someone else, and he even went to persuade Yu Su to confess his love to others. He didn't understand the meaning of what he did. Yu Su was happy, as if he hadn't met this requirement either.

"What do you know..." Cheng Xingjian looked at Bai Wanshu who was about to leave, and said, "You don't know, you don't know anything."

"You don't know why Yu Su is drinking with me today, and you don't know why Yu Su is unhappy. You think you have thought about her, but you haven't."

"What do you want to say?" Bai Wanshu's eyes were like a piece of ice, and her words were also cold.

"You didn't work overtime today, right? Yu Su saw that you were in West Street, and someone sang you a song." Cheng Xingjian's words were as indifferent as his expression, plain and straightforward, but secretly turbulent, "So Yu Su is very If you're sad, go drink."

"If you treat her as a friend, it's best to just be a friend and not do anything else," Cheng Xingjian said, but suddenly laughed twice after speaking, "Forget it, no matter what, Yu Su will still be stupid."

Cheng Xingjian waved his hands, showing an expression half helpless and half hesitant, "Take care of her," he said, "I'm leaving."

Bai Wanshu kept watching him while he was talking, with some doubts and more indifference.

This afternoon, Young Master Dong did tell her to work overtime, but the temporary task was cancelled, and she was about to go home, but Young Master Dong said to her: "Today is the last day, isn't it? Can you go for a walk on West Street with me?"

This is Dong Shao's usual trick, but at least there is no mandatory requirement for her to do something, she thought, well, she will not accept Dong Shao anyway.

After Dong Shao was injured that time, Bai Wanshu told him very clearly that there was no possibility between them.Dong Shao said: "I don't want to give up easily, how about this, if we date for a month and you are not tempted, I will stop doing anything to bother you."

At that time, Bai Wanshu was very hesitant, because she really didn't want to date someone who didn't have feelings for him, but Dong Shao was very persistent and promised her that she would not do any outrageous behavior this month.

"I really like you," Dong Shao said, "but I won't do anything against your wishes, just give me a chance."

Bai Wanshu was about to say the words of refusal, but when she saw the gauze wrapped by Young Master Dong, she took it back.

"Okay," she said, knowing she wouldn't be tempted at all.

During this month, Young Master Dong often invited her out for dinner, and every time she would go to the appointment on time, Young Master Dong was very gentlemanly during the whole dating process and kept his promise, so even if she felt very bored every time, she just passed it so plainly up.Dong Shao also often sent her some messages asking for warmth, and most of them only replied with "um" or "good", and did not reply to the rest.

Once, Dong Shao smiled bitterly and said to her: "You are so hard-hearted. I have tried all the techniques of chasing people. Do you have someone you like in your heart, so you refuse so thoroughly?"

Bai Wanshu thought about it carefully, and she didn't seem to have it. She felt that her current life was perfect, and she didn't need a partner, or a boyfriend.

However, there is a crack in such a perfect life now. Bai Wanshu did not hide Yu Su's date with Dong Shao, because she felt that it was very strange, and besides, she never had the habit of deceiving Yu Su—but what she didn't expect was that, Yu Su would actually support her to be with Dong Shao.

In fact, strictly speaking, Yu Su did not support it either.In the first few days, Yu Su didn't express any opinions on this matter, which made Bai Wanshu feel a little bit wrong, because she was actually secretly looking forward to Yu Su's comments or criticisms on Dong Shao.

Afterwards, Yu Su actually had a vague tendency to agree, which made Bai Wanshu even more puzzled and slightly indignant—why did Yu Su want her to be with Young Master Dong?

Bai Wanshu began to feel that agreeing to Dong Shao was a bad decision.

She even began to think seriously, if she ends up with Dong Shao, what will her life be like in the future?Her guesses about the future frightened herself a little - because she found that she had no interest in such a future, a dry future that annihilated color.

Fortunately, a month is about to pass, and she wants to end this month of unexplainable bad things, but she didn't expect that Cheng Xingjian would come to Beicheng.

As soon as Cheng Xingjian came, Bai Wanshu inevitably thought of some things she knew, such as Cheng Xingjian and Yu Su had the same high school since childhood, they went to the same university, they were good friends of the opposite sex, and according to her feeling, Cheng Xingjian To Yu Su, it is by no means pure friendship.

She thought of the pen that Yu Su often used, and she knew that it was given to her by Cheng Xingjian.

Bai Wanshu fell into an inexplicable irritability.

On the last day of this month, Young Master Dong came to West Street with her. When Yu Su first came to Beicheng, they often went to this place, because Yu Su liked the special snacks here, and they changed into comfortable and casual clothes after work. Strolling and chatting casually in the brightly lit West Street is very pleasant.

She thought, it was almost over, and she really hoped that Cheng Xingjian would leave soon, but Yu Su seemed to like being with Cheng Xingjian very much. After all, they were good friends for many years, so...she could still bear it. Yu Su is happier.

When Dong Shao was holding the guitar and playing the piano, Yu Su was actually in a daze. She remembered that when she graduated from high school, there was a boy who also played the guitar to confess his love to someone he liked. She remembered that Yu Su looked envious and said: "In the future, I will Must learn guitar."

"Why?" she asked.

"Of course I play love songs for people I like." When Yu Su said this, she was full of yearning, her eyes were as bright as stars, and Bai Wanshu was a little dumbfounded.

I just don't know who Yu Su will play to.