life after death

For a few seconds, Chen Yilin leaned back on the chair, dumbfounded that he was dreaming.

However, after a few seconds, he realized that this was the reality.

He drank a few sips of water, looked around, almost everyone left, a few scattered squadrons stayed to clean up the site, Su Junping was not there.

He's not there, which is fine.

Chen Yilin didn't want to see him at all now.

He tightened the water glass, threw it to the sports committee member, then stood up and left. Xiao Yiling called him behind him, but he just waved and went to the office to ask Boss Xie for leave.

Chen Yilin has been working at full attendance for more than two years. Boss Xie was so reassuring to him that he let him go without even asking why.

Chen Yilin walked out of the school with his schoolbag on his back, stuffed his school uniform into his schoolbag in an alley, and then went to an Internet cafe closest to the school.The Internet cafe had the right time, place, and people, so they would turn a blind eye. Besides, Chen Yilin's height was close to that of an adult, and he was let in without even checking his ID card.

Chen Yilin opened the search interface, paused for a moment, and then typed three words on the keyboard: gay.

He checked from the evening until 08:30, and then spent an hour to finish his homework at KFC, and then strolled home slowly. It looked as if he had finished his late self-study, and the time was just right.

When Chen Yilin came home, grandma had already fallen asleep, and the room was pitch black except for the light from downstairs leaking from the window of the living room.A car passed by, the headlight stretched like an orange dough, pulled from one end of the ceiling to the other, then snapped back into a dough, jumped up the window and slid out of sight.

Soon, another car came.

Chen Yilin washed his hands in the bathroom without turning on the lights. He listened to the roar of the car passing by, the bright lights were like the eyes of a monster, and the darkness around him was its body. He was strangled by the darkness and moved. no.

This is an era when corrupt culture is prevalent. Chen Yilin also knows something, but he doesn't understand it after all. He spent some time touching the surface of reality, and he no longer has the courage to go deeper.

Even at the superficial level, he saw endless tragedy.There were many unsightly swear words in the post, and he read many of them without changing his face, but the sentence that impressed him the most was: "May God open his eyes."

May God open his eyes and clean up these monsters.

These are unacceptable monsters that violate ethics.

May God open his eyes.

Chen Yilin read it silently, plunged his head into the washbasin, and read it again. A series of bubbles came out of his mouth. He looked at the bubbles and suddenly laughed. He laughed until water poured into the air pipe and coughed loudly.

"I also want to open God's eyes," he heard a voice in his heart, said in a low voice, "Why me? Why me again!"

He's only 17, the best time of his life, why tell him such a thing?

He is only 17 years old, and he has no relatives. He has an elderly grandmother to support him. He is a three-good student at the school level. Strong, otherwise, his life will be over.

Even in the current era when corrupt culture is prevalent, it is an extremely long and painful road to lose people's grudges.

He once thought about his life, going to a good university, studying hard to find a good job, finding a quiet and virtuous wife, and having a well-behaved and beautiful child-this is really mediocre and almost stupid, but he Longing for stability.

And those three words almost made him unbearable.

No matter how young and mature Chen Yilin was, he was still only 17 years old after all. Those confusions and struggles set off a shocking wave in his heart, rushing out but couldn't find an exit, and bumping everywhere made his heart ache.

After ten years, no, five years later, when you look back, you will find that those strong feelings have faded rapidly, and his sleepless pain may not be unresolved, but at that time, he was only 17 years old after all.

Chen Yilin washed up and lay down on the bed in a daze. He lay upright on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. He didn't get tired until the next day when his belly turned pale, so he took a nap.Almost as soon as he touched the pillow, the alarm clock rang again. Chen Yilin remembered that he had to help the boarding students bring breakfast, got up, washed his face and brushed his teeth.

As soon as he entered the classroom, the class was eerily quiet for two seconds, and then the quarrel resumed. Xiao Yiling stared blankly at him as he put breakfast on her table, and said, "Squad leader...how do you..."

Chen Yilin smiled at her: "I was a little uncomfortable yesterday, I didn't sleep well."

Chen Yilin asked for leave yesterday, leaving Su Junping very upset.

Of course, he was suffering and couldn't tell, he just thought bitterly, what's wrong with kissing, he also kissed others when playing truth or dare, and it didn't matter.Of course, he also knew that Chen Yilin was different, but he didn't figure out how to do it differently, so his anxiety gathered together and settled into resentment.

Seeing Chen Yilin coming, he was about to complain to him, but suddenly shut his mouth. It was after Chen Yilin greeted him first that he weakly said good morning.

Chen Yilin ignored Su Junping's ghost-like expression. When he looked in the mirror this morning, he knew that his face was ugly.

The sports meeting on the third day only lasted half a day, and it ended soon. Chen Yilin stayed to tidy up the venue.

Xiao Yiling went to take out the trash with another girl. He was carrying the bucket and was about to go upstairs when he saw Su Junping coming down the stairs.Their eyes met, Chen Yilin quickly moved away, but Su Junping stared at him for a long time, and then leaned over reluctantly.

"A Lin..." He lowered his head, seemingly very sad, "I'm sorry, don't be angry with me, I'm just...just kidding...just a joke, I didn't know you would react so badly, really, Sorry, if I had known earlier..."

Chen Yilin looked at him, his heart boiled like hot magma for a moment, and he gradually calmed down when he remembered the decision he made in the morning.

Chen Yilin took a deep breath and interrupted Su Junping, who was getting darker and darker: "I know, I don't mind. Yesterday was something else, and it has nothing to do with you."

Su Junping immediately raised his head, his eyes sparkled, and the smile on the corner of his mouth suddenly brightened: "What's the matter, do you need my help?"

"It's okay, it's done."

"That's good, Ah Lin, I thought you were angry and worried all night." Su Junping hugged Chen Yilin and sprayed his hot breath on his skin. Chen Yilin shook his hand and almost gave the bucket to him. fell.

He tore off the dog-skin plaster from his body, took two steps back, and said calmly, "Hurry up and eat, there will be no food if it's late."

"It's okay, my mother made cold beef, we'll eat it together later." Su Junping glanced at the venue, "I'll help you get the blackboard."

Chen Yilin didn't have time to refuse him, so he ran his errands graciously, and the next dinner together was very logical, without a chance to refute.

Fortunately, there is still late self-study.

Evening self-study is independent and gives him a chance to breathe.

But after a while, Chen Yilin discovered to his horror that he couldn't concentrate at all.Su Junping really didn't bother him, but he couldn't help but care about the person sitting beside him: watching him doodling on the sketchbook, playing backgammon with himself, tearing off the sketchbook after scratching his head for a while, folding the trash box, folding the thick A thick stack... When the bell rang for the end of the first period, he barely finished half of the physics paper.

Chen Yilin was in a state of confusion, and Su Junping handed over the stack of draft paper as if offering a treasure: "If you want to throw out the trash, tell me, I have a lot of them here."

Chen Yilin gave a perfunctory thank you, and lowered his head to look at the big physics problem.He did the first big question three times, either he missed the conditions or he misremembered the data, or he didn't calculate it right at all.

It was a very simple basic question that even Su Junping could do.

Chen Yilin glanced at his palm, which was covered with sweat and glistened under the lamp.

"It can't be like this," he said to himself, "Jen Ren will pass away, and after a year, we will go our separate ways, and everything will fade away."

That was what most people thought, and Chen Yilin was the same. He thought for a moment, put his stack of books on the side close to Su Junping, and added two dictionaries on it, only his head was exposed.

This invisibly cut off the communication between the two, and since then, Chen Yilin has been immersed in solving problems even after class, so Su Junping didn't talk to him.

When the evening self-study was over, he breathed a sigh of relief.

For three consecutive days he adopted the same policy, only more covertly than the first night.He himself is an extremely planned person. That night he wrote a detailed plan in the draft pad, read it several times, printed it in his mind, moistened it with water, and then tore it up and threw it away.

Grandma is only at the level of elementary school education, and she never rummages through his things, which is not necessary.But Chen Yilin still did it.

It was easy for him to quietly downplay the relationship between them.

On the first day, eating and chatting were still the same, only when the evening self-study was about to end, he ran to the office to ask questions twice, staggering the chat time between the two.The next day, Su Junping went to eat, while Chen Yilin ate instant noodles in the classroom.On the third day, I pretended to be extremely sleepy and slept in the morning recess.

In about three months, they can become ordinary friends.

Chen Yilin wasn't pretending to be asleep, he did fall asleep during the short 10 minutes, so he was very energetic at noon, and he had to make up homework that he didn't do during the break, so he planned not to sleep at noon.

At ten o'clock, Chen Yilin finished his homework, stretched himself, took out an apple from the belly of the table and prepared to peel it, and was looking for a fruit knife over and over again. He suddenly remembered that Su Junping had borrowed it in the morning. They avoided Su Junping and rummaged in his desk.

Su Junping's table belly is a place that even a dog would hate. There are residues of potato chips sandwiched between books and papers. Chen Yilin was sweating from looking for them, but there was no sign of a fruit knife, so he had to squat down to find them more conveniently.

As soon as he squatted down, he accidentally touched Su Junping with his elbow. Su Junping seemed to be in a light sleep, muttering something while frowning, and moved. Chen Yilin hurriedly raised his head to look at his face.

Just glanced at it, but couldn't move it away.

The man took off his glasses only to find that the eyelashes were extraordinarily long, long and dense, and against that domineering face, there was a softness that was different from the past.His eyes caressed over his forehead, eyes, nose, and baby's plump cheeks, and finally fell on his soft lips.

The weather at the end of September still needs to turn on the air conditioner, and the sound of his heartbeat is particularly obvious in the air conditioner.Chen Yilin heard his own heartbeat as heavy and fast as a drumbeat. The sound didn't seem to come from the heart, but every drop of blood was hitting the blood vessels, making him tremble all over.

At that moment, the so-called "ordinary friend" was thrown out of the sky, his feelings were suppressed just as they sprouted, and the force was like a spring rebounding hard.

When Chen Yilin didn't even realize it, the desperate and crazy factor in his heart was already absorbing nutrients silently in the soil, just waiting for the day to break through the soil and bloom the most beautiful and fierce flowers.

At this time, the soil had just loosened a bit. Chen Yilin stretched out his hand to touch Su Junping's lips. The young man's lips were exceptionally soft, with only slightly raised dead skin. pleasure.

However, Chen Yilin is Chen Yilin after all, he reacted in three seconds after doing this, thinking: "What am I doing? Am I crazy?" He was deeply shocked by his terrible desire, but he had no chance to reflect, Su Junping opened his eyes.