After transferring to another school, I was at the same table as the school girl who had a crush on

When Shang Yang and Shang Houde arrived, Li Qing was sitting on the steps beside the emergency room, staring blankly at the door of the operating room, with a bewildered childlike face.

"What's going on?" Shang Houde hurriedly said, "Didn't you be fine when you called yesterday?"

Li Qing opened his mouth and said hoarsely: "I was just about to go out today when I received a call from the hospital saying that it was around ten o'clock in the morning. After someone came to visit me, my condition suddenly deteriorated..."

Shang Houde stomped his feet anxiously: "At this time, who came to visit?"

Shang Yang shook his hand.

Shang Houde came to his senses: "Li Qing, you rushed over early in the morning, right? Have you eaten yet? The teacher will buy you something to eat..."

Li Qing shook his head, his throat was dry and hoarse: "No, thank you teacher."

Shang Houde finally went down to buy breakfast.

Li Qing came to his senses in a daze when he looked up and saw no one else after he had walked away for a while: "Teacher Shang..."

"He went shopping."

Shang Yang put a glass of water in front of him, and said gently, "Drink some at least."

Li Qing drank a little obediently.

Shang Yang looked at Li Qing, wanting to persuade him, but didn't know how to speak.He could only look at this 17-year-old boy who was usually calm and stable like an adult, waiting for the trial of fate in a panic and dazedly.

He held his hand the whole time.

The door of the operating room opened, and Shang Houde rushed up.

Li Qing took a step slowly and stood up staggeringly.Shang Yang had sharp eyesight and quick hands, and helped him up.

Li Qing thanked him softly, and insisted on standing still.

The two walked up, and Shang Yang heard the doctor's words.

"Condolences."

Grief, the word, he heard once when he was 12 years old.

At that time, my mother was lying on the cold hospital bed, under the hood of the hospital's cold glare, turning his field of vision into an empty white, he was dazed, standing outside the ward, looking at the ordinary yellow wooden door , For a moment, I don't understand why a wooden door is the distance between life and death.

Seven years later, going round and round.

After several years of vicissitudes and experience, he heard this word again, which represented that gentle and beautiful woman withered in the world.

Sorrow.

The weight of these two words is as heavy as a thousand pounds.

He felt Li Qing's body shaking, turned his head to hold Li Qing's hand, and shouted hoarsely: "Li Qing, you..."

He saw Li Qing closed his eyes.

This moment is very long, representing a person's journey from life to death, and the youthful and cruel transformation. This moment is also very short, just a moment of trance.

In the next moment, he heard the boy's calm and restrained voice that was almost indifferent: "I'm fine."

He thanked the doctor and bowed deeply: "Anyway, please take care of my mother during this time."

The doctor patted Li Qing on the shoulder, explained a few funeral affairs, and left with a sigh.

Looking at Shang Houde, Li Qing said politely and calmly: "Teacher Shang, thank you for coming today. I will issue a death certificate later, and I need to contact the funeral home to find the police station to cancel my account. I am only three months away from turning eighteen , there are some procedures that may require your help to prove it, please trouble."

Shang Houde's words, "Let me help you with the formalities," were blocked in his throat.

He worried: "Son, you don't have to hold on too hard..."

Li Qing just smiled.

This smile was the same as Li Qing's usual quiet smile, but Shang Yang's heart was pulled hard.

restraint.

Forbearance.

alienated.

Li Qing put on the indifferent transparent armor again, trying to make himself invulnerable.

That day he followed Li Qing, walked all over the hospital, found several departments, stamped it, and finally got a thin piece of paper.

death certificate.

A person who was once alive and breathing was judged by a flimsy piece of paper.

From the beginning to the end, except for Li Qing losing control for a moment when the doctor pronounced the sentence, there was no tear.His emotions seemed to be squeezed to the deepest part of his body, impeccable, every step he took was calm and indifferent, and his back was straightened.

As he walked through the glass door at the end of the hospital corridor, Shang Yang glanced at it.

In a daze, Li Qing's shoulders were still thin, but when he stepped forward step by step, his figure was already an adult.

Adults who have lost their place of origin and only return home in life.

When Shang Houde finished the program and came back, he still brought some food, his eyes were red, obviously he had cried.

Li Qing thanked him.

Shang Houde took out the food: "At least eat some. There are still a few days left, and you are still growing to support yourself."

Li Qing hummed, and obediently ate, the speed was so fast that one could think he was just swallowing mechanically.

After eating a box, he said: Thank you teacher. "

After he put down his chopsticks, Shang Yang ate another one, which was so spicy that his nose came out.Shang Houde doesn't understand Li Qing's appetite, thinking that teenagers have the same taste as Shang Yang.

Li Qing is most afraid of spicy food.

Looking at Li Qing's clean lunch box, Shang Yang let out a silent breath.

On the day he came back from the hospital, Shang Yang followed Li Qing back home.Standing in the kitchen of Li Qing's house, Shang Yang called the head teacher to ask for leave.

Li Qing calmly packed Li's mother's belongings, and called relatives and friends to report the funeral.

After hanging up the phone, Shang Yang went out to find Li Qing: "Li Qing?"

Li Qing stood in front of the desk, looking at the glass fish tank, on the clear water surface, the blue carp turned its belly, with white foam all over its body.

"Shoubi Nanshan" died.

The carp that contained Li Qing's hope died on the day Li's mother left.

Shang Yang looked at Li Qing worriedly.

"It was injured in the first place, and it is too old to live for long." Li Qing looked at it for a few seconds, then calmly said, "Bury it."

Shang Yang's throat felt dry, and he hummed.

That night, Shang Yang and Li Qing dug a hole and buried the carp.

Li's mother's funeral was very simple.

Li Qing's grandparents passed away when Li Qing was very young.Li's father had a very tense fight with his brothers because of his study in the past.After Li Qing's grandparents passed away, the relatives never contacted each other again.

Li's mother is an only child, and only has a cousin who is far away from other places. He rushed here with his wife, stayed for a day, and then left.

The same is true of other relatives and friends.

In the neighbor's neighborhood, the old lady across the door brought Xiaoluotou and several families who had good friends with Li's mother, and came to hug Li Qing and cry.

No one told the class that they didn't know where they got the news.Cheng Chengcheng, Lei Tiantian, and the squad leader's art committee all came over, and each of them gave Li Qing a hug.

Li Qing hugged them back and said thank you softly.

Yu Fei was there from the beginning to the end, taking the position of Li Qing's elder brother, changing vigils with Li Qing, entertaining guests with Shang Yang, and preparing for the registration procedures.

In the end, he and Shang Yang pressed Li Qing together to let him rest for a while, but to no avail.

After two days, he also lost a lot of weight.

When putting on the shroud for Li's mother with his own hands, Shang Yang caught a glimpse of his eyes turning red for a moment.In just a moment, he regained his almost indifferent calmness and composure.

As if the boy's momentary weakness was just an illusion.

When Li Qing got the urn at the funeral home, Li Qing didn't dare to touch the small box at first.Shang Yang wanted to help him, Yu Fei took the box and handed it over more familiarly than him, and hugged Li Qing from the side.

"Li Qing, you have to take care."

Li Qing said yes softly, and when he took the box, his movements became calm again.

At the end of the funeral, Shang Houde cried the most and almost fell to the ground.

Shang Yang looked at him strangely two or three times.

Yu Fei left again two days after the funeral, and before leaving, he gave Shang Yang a hammer on the chest: "My brother will leave it to you."

Shang Yang hummed: "Brother Yu, don't worry."

For three days, Li Qing was always busy on the front line.The skinny boy always pursed his lips indifferently, like a tireless dummy.

Shang Yang was very worried about him.

Shang Yang and Shang Houde applied to live with Li Qing for a period of time.

Shang Houde agreed.

Except for sleeping for a whole day and night after the funeral, Li Qing resumed his daily routine the next day, going to school as usual, setting up a stall as usual, and returning home from school as usual, like an indifferent robot, repeating stereotypically like Li daily life of mother

It's just that the gentle woman who needs his care is gone at home.

People around will inevitably have some comments, saying that this child is really cold and indifferent by nature.

Li Qing fell on deaf ears as always.

It was one day half a month later, Shang Yang followed Li Qing home after school.Not wanting Li Qing to cook, Shang Yang pushed him into the living room, cooked rice with a rice cooker, made steamed eggs, and served it with cooked food bought on the way.

When the rice was finished steaming, he shouted in the kitchen: "Li Xiaoqing, it's time to eat."

There was no movement in the living room.

He didn't care at first, knocking on the bowls and chopsticks: "People are iron and rice is steel. If you don't eat a meal, you will be hungry. Li Xiaoqing, I will cook by myself. If you don't come to eat, be careful that your brother Shang will spank your ass."

Still no movement.

Shang Yang stuck his head out of the apron and took a look, and saw Li Qing bent over, sitting in front of the TV cabinet in the living room, holding something in his hand, his shoulders trembling slightly.

He walked over lightly.

There was a faint sob in the air.

He glanced at it.It was a document wrapped in a transparent bag, and the words "China", "People" and "Shou" were faintly visible, and the name of the policyholder was: Jiang Sulan.

That was Li's mother's name.

Shang Yang's heart was tightened.

He hugged Li Qing's shoulders and patted him on the back twice.

It seemed that the wellhead, which was suppressed by the seal, finally broke through the ground. Li Qing held the insurance document, his shoulders trembled violently, and tears fell silently.

Drop by drop fell on Shang Yang's hand.

It hurts.

This was Li Qing's first cry since that morning.

Li's mother bought the insurance for herself two years ago.The insured amount is very high, as long as Li's mother dies, Li Qing will receive a compensation of [-].

This money is enough for Li Qing to graduate from university.

As for the money...

"She saved it from the drug money." Li Qing said dumbly, "I found out that the amount of her anti-cancer drugs was not right a few times before. I thought she didn't want to be treated at the time, so I sent a message to her temper……"

"did not expect……"

For the future of her only son, Li's mother did everything she could.

It was already dark, but the lights in the room were not turned on.The sky was dim, without the sound of swimming water from "Shoubi Nanshan", the room was suffocatingly peaceful, and the thin air made the chest tight.

Li Qing hugged his knees, sat on the floor, leaned against Shang Yang and said, "I haven't told you about my mother yet, have I?"

"She is a very ordinary woman who is good at housework and has a good temper. When my father is here, my father is mainly responsible for making money, so she makes some snacks at home and takes care of me."

"Later, the family owed a lot of money to save my father. My mother opened a breakfast stall and got up early every day to make money. It was hard work, but there was still hope for life."

"After that incident..."

Li Qing paused.

Shang Yang held his hand tightly.

"After that incident, I was convicted of manslaughter. Because I was young, I was sentenced to a year and a half. The sentence was commuted for one year and came out."

"When I first came out, I was just 15 years old, and I was at the most rebellious age. The eyes of people around me made me angry and stubborn. I was contaminated with some bad habits from the people inside, and I became full of anger and cynicism."

——Since you think I'm a murderous lunatic bastard, then I'll show you off.

"During that year, I didn't go to class. I hung out with a group of social people all day long. I drank, smoked, smoked, fought and blackmailed me. I was a complete scum of society. Have you heard of my reputation in Cheng Chengcheng? What kind of fights are particularly fierce? This area of ​​Xi is very crazy, it’s all about that time.”

"Later I found out that they were waiting to get me cooked, and then let me steal and sell du."

Li Qing's voice was dull, as if the life of a stranger had been pronounced in an obscure and gloomy time and space for several years.

"Almost, I went in again."

Shang Yang tightly grasped Li Qing's arm, feeling bitter and astringent from the flood that hit the city and the sea waves.He suddenly remembered Li Qing's roar in the classroom after he confessed his love that day.

"But Shang Yang, we are different."

"I've lived through the worst crimes in the world. It's a nightmare that suffocates you in the middle of the night."

"I... don't want you to look back on the old days one day in the future and say that the worst thing you did in that year was to fall in love with the wrong person and waste the most precious five years of my life, do you understand?"

He always felt that Li Qing tolerated obscurity.

But at the age of 15, how can a boy who has been contaminated by all the mud at the bottom of the society be as bright and frank as his age.

"During that time, I often didn't go home. I rarely went to see her except to go around my mother's stall sometimes, so that no one would bully her again. I told her that I was living outside the school and would not go home, and she didn't doubt it. One word."

"I can confidently feel that the whole world is sorry for me. I am fighting against the injustice of the world."

"But I dare not look into her eyes."

"Later on, I found some strange things. The friends around me always couldn't play with me for too long, so they left without saying goodbye. I didn't pay much attention at first. Those friends I made outside, It was just for playing together, without much sincerity... It was only later that everyone stopped playing with me, and I felt a little abnormal."

"Later, Yu Fei found me and said he wanted me to study hard. At that time, I thought that he, like those other people, was here to make me happy and amuse me. I didn't expect him to be serious."

"I was bored, and I even fought with Yufei a few times. There were wins and losses, and it became boring after the fight. Yufei was like a donkey, trying to force me to study."

"I had to hide from him and play."

"It was also an accident. I was lying on the sofa after a fight in a karaoke bar outside, and I heard someone gossip. There is a person in the circle who is annoying to death, and his mother chases him to play with him every day. The person is crying and begging others not to take his child to play. It’s not her child’s business that she can’t come out to play, so what are you doing here to harass people.”

"Yeah, so everyone was afraid of trouble, so they didn't play with that person anymore."

"I didn't pay much attention at the time, but the more I thought about it, the more something went wrong. I went to find a person I used to play with, and asked him to find out..."

"It's really my mother."

"I said that she knew everything about what she did outside when she lived in school and didn't go home. But she didn't blame me for a word, she just begged those who played with me one by one, asking them not to bring I'm playing, don't tell me these things..."

"Yufei told me that he also decided to give me a hand because he saw my mother like that and knew about me."

In the darkness, Li Qing leaned his head against the wall, covered his face with his arms, tears that had accumulated for many years poured out, screaming and roaring emotionally.

Opposite the TV cabinet.

On the black and white portrait hanging on the white wall, the young woman smiles softly like a song.

Li Qing remembered that day again.

When he came home that day, he lingered at the door of the house for a long time but did not dare to go in.Just when he was about to run away again, the old lady across the door who came back from grocery shopping pulled him into the house.

That day the old lady babbled to him for a long time: "Su Lan, she is a hard-working person. She has to go to the hospital every month and take the medicine by the handful."

"Xiao Li, your mother's life is not easy."

……

Only then did he know that his mother's health was already very bad.

Due to long-term fatigue, her hepatitis has deteriorated into liver cirrhosis, and she has to take a lot of medicine every day.

Later, mother came back.

Her hair is gently pulled up, and she wears a small bamboo vegetable basket. She is wearing a purple sweater and blue overalls. She is much older and thinner, but she still looks good.

I saw him standing at the door helplessly, with tears on his face.

Mom didn't say a word, just rubbed his head lightly, and said softly: "You've been hungry outside for so long, Mom will cook something delicious for you."

At that moment, he realized that tenderness is the most incisive steel knife in this world.

The author has something to say:

The next chapter will be sweet.

Really.

ps: Minors were coaxed into trafficking in du, which is a real case I saw in the "Escort for Growth Column" of "Today's Statement".

There are really many bad people in the world. Minors lack basic judgment and are easily exploited.

I hope that student readers will be more vigilant, and parents with children will also strengthen their precautions.

PSS, the environment of Shangxi, and the settings of the gangsters around are all based on the "Guarding for Growth column" of "Today's Statement", so I think it would be better to explain it.