After transferring to another school, I was at the same table as the school girl who had a crush on

The weather in Jiangcheng is changeable, and the sun was shining a little in the morning, but for some reason, it is now cloudy again.Rolling pale-gray clouds filled the sky one after another, and the gloom spread to the edge of the sky as far as the eye could see. In the distance, the whistle of the ship blared, and a row of black geese flew straight past, screaming from head to tail, waving over clean lines.

In the whistling wind, Li Qing faced the rushing river, wearing a thin and thin back.

The nameless river was turbulent with small blue waves, rushing past being crowded. Li Qing sat on the public bench, stretched his long legs casually, held a cigarette between his fingers, and smoked it one after another.

It can be seen that Li Qing is very proficient in his movements, he should not be a novice.After Shen Shen exhaled a puff of smoke, for some unknown reason, he looked at the smoke rings scattered in the wind, and he lowered his head and smiled self-deprecatingly.

This was the first time Shang Yang saw Li Qing smoking.

After the last monthly exam, Li Qing sat alone on the roof, his back so tired, and he just played back and forth with a cigarette between his fingers, without smoking.

Is today a special day for him?

The river bank park is newly built, and it is not a holiday or a holiday, and the square dance time is past. There are few people in it, and the air is so quiet that I dozed off.Shang Yang put his hands in his trouser pockets, stood behind a small tree, and looked at Li Qing quietly.

Why is he here today?

Maybe it's blessing to the soul.

Maybe it's a tacit understanding.

Maybe something else.Anyway, the moment Shang Yang stared at Li Qing, Li Qing suddenly turned his head.

The two eyes meet.

Li Qing was taken aback for a child who seemed to be caught by an adult for doing something bad, then subconsciously turned his hands away and hid the cigarette.

Being discovered, Shang Yang graciously walked over to Li Qing and sat down.Leaning on the back of the bench, he stretched comfortably, and glanced at Li Qing's cigarette: "Can I take a sip?"

Li Qing stared at the floor: "Smoking is not good."

Shang Yang insisted: "I saw you smoked. I want to try."

Li Qing was silent for a moment, stretched out the cigarette behind his back and handed it over.

Shang Yang unskilledly picked up the cigarette and put it to his mouth clumsily. He only took one puff, and then he was disgusted by the choking and bitter taste. He turned around and covered his lungs and coughed: "Damn it."

"Stop smoking." Li Qing forcefully snatched the cigarette from his hand, ready to press it out, "This is not a good thing."

"Don't." Shang Yang pressed Li Qing's hand, and looked at Li Qing firmly with eyes that were coughing to the point of tears: "I just want to try."

Li Qing looked at Shang Yang fixedly.

The sound of the distant wind whizzed past, the collision of the river surged, and the silence boiled in the confrontation between the two.

"I want to try." Shang Yang repeated this sentence, firmly took the cigarette from Li Qing's hand, and lowered his head to take another puff.This time he was prepared and didn't get choked.But the hot smell still made his throat dry and itchy, and he coughed twice more.

"I told you not to smoke." Li Qing forced the cigarette out of his mouth with a cold face.

Shang Yang dodged, but did not hide.Li Qing snatched the cigarette out and threw it in the trash can.

Having been forcibly snatched away by him, Shang Yang coughed and raised his eyes, his eyes retaliated: "What about you? Li Qing, aren't you smoking too?"

After a long silence, Li Qing quietly looked at Shang Yang: "But Shang Yang, we are different."

We are different.

This sentence is simple in writing and words, but it is like an invisible and indifferent boundary. Under the vast sky, in front of the ancient ruthless river, between the two people sitting side by side, two distinct worlds are drawn.

It can even faintly reveal the self-deprecation of the speaker.

"Ahem——" Shang Yang just wanted to ask what is "different", when he was coughed by a nausea rising from his throat.

Li Qing silently gave him a bottle of mineral water.

Shang Yang took it and took a few sips before suppressing the nausea.He tentatively challenged Li Qing: "It's not the same? They are both men with two eyes, one nose and one mouth, what else could be different? Li Qing, what's the difference between us?"

"There are too many differences." Li Qing only smiled briefly, then lowered his eyebrows, and fell silent again.

Shang Yang has seen this silent resistance too many times, and he suddenly felt a sense of irritability and powerlessness.

He would rather Li Qing and him get angry and resist or even fight, whatever they want to do, or conflict... just don't do this, shut him out of his world with silence and self-deprecation.

He also has nothing to say.

The two sat in silence.

After about 10 minutes, or longer, time is always slim and empty in such an occasion.Shang Yang looked up at the sky and said softly: "Today is my mother's death day."

Li Qing looked up at him: "It must be very sad."

"Hey, it's not that sad." Shang Yang took a sip of water, looked away, and smiled nonchalantly: "It's been seven or eight years. In fact, I've already gotten used to it."

"..." Li Qing looked at him quietly, with a kind of soft and sad light flashing in his eyes, he raised his hand as if he wanted to pat Shang Yang, but he didn't move after thinking of something.

At that moment, the sounds of wind and water were almost still, and the intimate breaths were intertwined and wrapped around the tip of the nose.Shang Yang almost thought that Li Qing was going to come up to hug him.But in the end Li Qing just lowered his head slightly.

"You're lying. You can't get used to parting no matter how long it takes."

Shang Yang was shot in the heart.

He has heard many comforts over the years, from the simplest "sorrow and change", to the coaxing children's "mother just became a star in the sky to accompany you", to the more severe "you have grown up, you have to learn Sensible', and later on 'who didn't come here like this'...

But he had never heard such direct and heartbreaking words.

How can you get used to parting?

He turned his head almost in embarrassment, not to let Li Qing see his sourness: "You are really..."

The howling wind in autumn, the emptiness with no one else, a special day, and a person who shouldn't be here, but can't express his secret love.This is probably an occasion that is too suitable for people to let their emotions go silently.

Shang Yang, who had a sore nose, heard Li Qing's voice again: "Shang Yang, what kind of person are you, mother?"

Shang Yang murmured and repeated: "My mother, she..."

In order to touch people's scars, it has been a long time since no one asked Shang Yang about his *mother face to face.It's been so long that he has never heard a single word about his mother from any other mouth, except for the dark and indifferent scenes, hysterical screams, and the faces of dead bodies that he woke up from every midnight nightmare.

It's just...he lowered his head, clenched his fists tightly, and told others all the memories about his mother...

Not yet.

Not yet.

That is the deepest, most precious, and least defiled memory in his heart, and he does not allow it to be polluted by those 'things'.

So he should not recall it now.

Shaking his head slightly, he lowered his head and laughed at himself: "Forget it."

Li Qing was very considerate and didn't ask any further questions.After a while of silence, Shang Yang saw that it was getting late, and was about to ask Li Qing if he wanted to have lunch.Li Qing suddenly said: "Shang Yang, that student, the family of the student who killed your mother seven years ago, do you hate him?"

Shang Yang was stunned.

He wanted to ask Li Qing how he knew what happened seven years ago, and he felt relieved when he thought of the closeness between Shang Houde and Li Qing.This matter is not a secret, it is normal for Li Qing to hear some scraps from Shang Houde.

It's just... Do you hate that student Shang Houde?

"..." Shang Yang hesitated for a moment.Over the years, he has always put all the blame on Shang Houde and never thought of that family.

Also lost a loved one, it is also a poor family after all.

Probably Shang Yang's silence gave Li Qing an illusion.Li Qing lowered his eyes, and his tone was rare indifference and meanness: "The root of the mistake is that family, isn't it? My own fate is not good, and the misfortune I caused will involve others, it is simply a natural broom..."

"No." Shang Yang hastily interrupted him.

Li Qing looked at him in astonishment.

"They have no subjective malice." Although he didn't know where Li Qing's venom-like malice came from at that moment, Shang Yang still stubbornly explained, "They didn't intend to harm our family. Besides, their family also Those who were treated harshly by fate. To blame can only be blamed on God's will..."

Li Qing lowered his eyebrows slightly, his shoulders were as tight as a rock, and he didn't say a word.

"..." Shang Yang said to himself, "I never... never blamed them."

This time, the silence between the two was too long, and seeds of doubt were sprouting invisibly.Shang Yang looked directly at Li Qing's evasive side face, and finally uttered his doubts: "Li Qing, why do you think they are wrong?"

"It's nothing, just thinking about it casually. And... the tolerance of others is not the reason for the perpetrator to get away with the crime!" The last half of Li Qing's words were too soft to hear, and then he smiled at Shang Yang, as if nothing had happened: " what time is it."

Li Qing's dodge was too obvious, Shang Yang paused, and then subconsciously glanced at his watch: "It's already 45:[-]." It's lunch time.

Li Qing: "Want to eat?"

Shang Yang: "Go."

The two went to have a meal together.Both of them were seventeen or eighteen-year-old boys, and they ate up all the food in a few strokes.After Shang Yang was full, he ordered another bottle of Pulse, and brought Li Qing a bottle of warm milk: "Hey, you haven't said anything yet, why are you here today? Today is Monday."

Li Qing had completely returned to normal at this time, and pointed to a nearby hospital calmly and coldly: "I'll help mom get the test results."

Shang Yang said with hesitation: "Your mother..."

Li Qing calmly said: "Liver cancer, advanced stage."

Hissing softly in his heart, Shang Yang subconsciously said, "I'm sorry."

Li Qing shook his head and smiled: "No need to apologize." You are the most qualified person in the world not to apologize.

When Li Qing was indifferent, Shang Yang always thought that this person was born so good-looking for no reason, but he suffered and hated all day long, which was a waste of rare resources.

Now that Li Qing smiled, he felt that the smile was too glaring, like a steel nail pierced into someone's eyes, making people almost cry from the pain.

He lost his father when he was young.

Mother has advanced liver cancer.

How could fate be so cruel to a young man.

"Ding--"

Li Qing's old Nokia on the desktop vibrated.Shang Yang immediately looked up.Li Qing glanced at the caller ID: "It's Teacher Shang."

Shang Yang: "It's for me. Don't answer."

Li Qing looked at him hesitantly.

"Don't answer." Shang Yang turned his face away, pleading, "Li Qing, please. At least not today..."

Li Qing then hung up the phone in silence.

Shang Yang's cell phone was turned off early, and he didn't even bother to turn it on.Looking outside at the still cloudy sky, he grabbed Li Qing's arm and said, "Ban Hua, please do me another favor. We are such good buddies, you won't just leave him alone."

Li Qing looked up at him.

Shang Yang said: "Take me in for one night. I... don't want to go home today."

Li Qing's home is in an old town in Shangxi that is awaiting demolition.

The old city is close to the suburbs. Because of the low prices and urgent need for demolition, the surrounding area is full of construction sites and factory buildings.Entering the community, the first thing you see is the low-rise buildings and the private wires between the buildings.The moss-covered utility poles were covered with small advertisements, and the floor tiles on the ground were all torn and watery, and when one stepped on them, the black water splashed on the shoe uppers.

Because the rent is cheap, and there are construction sites and factory buildings, the composition of residents in the community is quite complicated. There are old local residents, factory workers, and short-term workers on the construction site.

When Shang Yang and Li Qing passed by in the afternoon, the doorway was full of shirtless middle-aged men shaking cattail fans to enjoy the cool air, and middle-aged women doing laundry. A few naked children ran around them .

Shang Yang keenly felt that from the time the two of them entered the community to every step they took, those people would scratch them with loathing and fear like knives.

The small voices of discussion were carried by the wind.

"That little bastard...why hasn't he been expelled from school..."

"...Like a fox like his mother..."

"Keep your voice down, be careful he hears..."

"What are you afraid of? If he has the ability, he will kill me too... I want to say that a murderer is a murderer, and he should go to hell! Why didn't the police shoot this kid..."

Shang Yang subconsciously turned his head to look at Li Qing.

Li Qing pursed his lips coldly, his back was straight, his eyes were full of unafraid savagery, savagery and collision, like a wolf with a short body, the hair on its neck raised up, growling low and ready to attack. Like a cold and haughty sword, it cleaves the mixed and dilapidated environment out of place, and piles up the repulsion and abuse that people squeezed like a flood into a monstrous wave behind them.

indifferent.

stubborn.

unruly.

alienated.

Just like what Shang Yang heard about Li Qing from other people's ears.

It was also the Li Qing he was familiar with first.

murderer.

This is the second time Shang Yang has heard this word about Li Qing from other people. Is Li Qing's alienation and indifference, as well as the self-deprecation that seems to come out of his bones, all related to this word?

"Li Qing." Shang Yang's heart was squeezed by an invisible big hand, and the pain was sharp and cold.He stepped forward quickly, pressed Li Qing's shoulder, and grabbed Li Qing's hand.

Li Qing's palms were tense, hard and cold like iron.

"Hey, Ban Hua is walking so fast, do you still remember that it's my first time here? What? You want me to get lost and become Cinderella. Are you a hero to save the beauty? Huh?" Shang Yang said loudly.

Li Qing pursed her lips, subconsciously trying to break free from Shang Yang's hand: "I'm sorry."

But Shang Yang held onto his hand even more tightly, no matter how Li Qing struggled, he would not let go, he said 'magnanimously': "Seeing that you have a good attitude of admitting your mistakes, this time I will be merciful, and I will not care about you like you. I will not be an example. "

Then he glanced coldly to the side: "However, Li Qing, the environment in your community is not good. Why are there so many rats growing in a place where strangers live? They only dare to hide in the gutter during the daytime. He mutters behind his back without speaking human words, his mouth stinks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in a lifetime, but he's really a beast. Hurry up tomorrow, I'll give you a few bottles of poison `rat` to protect your hygiene..."

The discussion stopped abruptly.

"When it hurts yourself, you know it's severe, don't you? Heh—" Shang Yang sneered, and led him away.

In the end, Li Qing didn't shake off that hand.

The author has something to say:

This is the worst relationship between the two of them.

Basically sweet.

The abuse points are basically on the plot line, (⊙o⊙)...