I was taught to be a man by the actress

My name is Xu Shiwen, born in 1993, female.

Although my family conditions are not rich, they are not poor either.My mother is a surgical nurse in a city hospital, and my father is a surgeon in the same department.

After I was born, because my parents were too busy with work, they fostered me at my grandma's house.It is said that every generation is close, every generation is close.But the consequences of being next-generation relatives are something I have never thought about, and I don't want to have.

That was when I was 14 years old and just entered the first grade of junior high school, because I had a good appetite and a greedy mouth since I was a child.And grandma never cared about me eating snacks, so the consequence of letting go of eating was that my weight soared to 130 catties.

14 years old, 130 catties.It's pretty cute now that I think about it, but before...

In elementary school, I was surrounded by playmates who grew up with them. They never laughed at my weight, so I didn't realize that my body shape was 'different' in the eyes of others.

In the first day of junior high school, the moment I stepped into the door of the new classroom, I understood how kind my primary school playmate was.

Listening to the roar of ridicule and a thunderous shout of 'big fat man'.I found that junior high school, the place I had been looking forward to for a summer vacation, gradually became black and white.

But there is one person, she is the only one with color in the black and white picture.

Her name is Zhuo Zining, a very poetic name.She was my deskmate on the first day of school.Later, because I was fat and blocked the sight of the students behind me, I was assigned to the last row.

At that time, I walked into the classroom amid a crowd of jeers, because their laughter was too loud, and I didn't dare to look up.I can only walk towards the back of the classroom with my head down, wanting to go to the corner to stay quietly, step by step.

When I took the fourth step, the hand that was hanging on the side of my leg was grabbed from the side.

"Sit with me," she said.

Looking at her grape-like eyes and crescent-like smile, I felt that all the noises around me disappeared, only her soft voice like water.

She's so pretty, I thought.

Since then, I have always observed her involuntarily.

She said she likes girls with short hair and would love to cut her shoulder-length hair short, but her mother won't allow it.

She said she likes people who wear glasses because they look very educated.

She said that she likes people to talk less, so that you can listen to her carefully.

She said that she likes a certain male star in the entertainment circle...

She likes boys...

but me…

like her…

She was the only female classmate in the class who didn't laugh at me for being fat; she was the fairy who pulled me when my world was about to collapse;

I love her, but after graduating from junior high school, I was sent abroad by my parents to study, and I lost contact with her after that.The only thing I think about is that I put her in an album called <Zhi>, a photo of me and her graduation.

The photo is my exchange for sugar.I still remember when the master who took the photo said that I could combine and take pictures at will. I bought a strawberry lollipop that she loved most and put it in her palm.

Say to her: Can you take a photo with me?

The way she smiled and said yes is still in my mind.

After going abroad, that group photo was the motivation for me to persevere when I collapsed every night.

And during this time without her, I kept the short hair she liked, wore the glasses she liked, and learned to express myself in short language.

I tried my best to be who she likes, but I couldn't meet her.

Until the day I was 25 years old, that is when I became the president of a company.

I found her.

She became a star, a star I like very much.I bought her various accessories, records... They accompany me through sleepless nights.

Coincidentally, I work in the entertainment industry.I began to slowly search for everything about her on the Internet, waiting for her to terminate the contract with other companies, and then sign into my staff.

This way, I can watch her every day.

But one day, she withdrew from the circle.This means that I will never see her so bright and beautiful in front of the camera again.

During this period, I took over her original company and learned a few things from it.

I am distressed, I am helpless.

I can only slowly corrupt those who hurt her...

In the days when I couldn't find any news about her, I made a move that I never thought of.I went to work as an assistant to her sister.

I want to get close to her sister and want her contact information.

But I failed.

But I didn't give up.

After a long time, I finally got her WeChat.Her avatar is a cat, as cute and lazy as she is.

She said: Hello, classmate Xu.

I panicked.

The words that had been prepared for many years disappeared completely at this moment, and my brain went blank.

Fortunately, there is no one else in the car, no one will see my trembling fingers, no one will see it trembling and unable to type.

I replied: Zi Ning, long time no see.

(I miss you so much) This sentence is what I said in my heart.

I dare not reveal too much how I miss her, for fear of scaring her.She's so beautiful, I can't scare her.

She smiled back at me.

I know it's strange friendship, but I still keep these two sentences in my collection.

They are named by me: the beginning of love.

Since then, I always chat with her intentionally, and talk about everything she likes.

Slowly, she became familiar with me.

but…

I am very ambitious.

I want to have her.I want to hold her in my arms to resist the darkness when I wake up from the nightmare every night.

She is the only light in my life.

I want to hold on to her.

Until the news of her sister's marriage was listed on the hot search, at that moment I knew that the opportunity had come.

……

The author has something to say: After thinking about it, I still think it is better to put it in the front.

Just... let's explain first.